To Protect the Alpha Female
Summary: Kagome had no idea she had been claimed from the very beginning, nor the depth of the request she made of Inuyasha. How could a human ever grasp the intricacies of pack politics and the reason why Sesshomaru was so intent on obtaining Tessaiga? The off-limits girl knew not of her situation, but soon, she would.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Chapter 37: To Process Rejection
"A demon will only kiss someone… someone they love?" Kagome repeated the question with quivering lips.
"That is correct," Myoga nodded sagely, eyes closed and head bowed to give her privacy in this moment.
"That means…" she couldn't say it aloud. 'Sesshomaru doesn't love me,' she knew, deep down she knew, but… she never wanted to admit it. Sesshomaru had been so considerate towards her, so kind and thoughtful, but apparently, it was only for the purpose to get in her good graces.
Tears welled behind her eyes; the agony of the truth threatened to burst forth. She should have been livid from him leading her on, but she was shattered, numb to everything but the sorrow in her heart. The pain in her chest doubled her over. Saline drops streaked pale skin and darkened the earth below. Why did she have to be so foolish to fall in love with someone who would never love her in return? Every time she opened her heart, the ground got ripped out from under her with no one there to catch her fall into abyssal despair. What was wrong with her? How come no one could love her for her?
A small voice, discomfort clear, was the reminder to Kagome that she was not alone; Myoga was still perched before her, "L-lady Kagome, I think we should be getting back." He didn't even want to speculate on what Sesshomaru would do to him if anything happened to Kagome. Sure, Master Inuyasha wasn't too far away, but the boy still had a lot of growing up to do. Not only that, but her crying was heart-wrenching, and until he delivered her back to her protector, he could not leave.
Kagome took a deep breath, pushing her emotions onto a back-burner; a skill she became well aquatinted with during her time in this era. Wiping her face on her sleeve, Kagome forced a smile. "It's just Kagome," she corrected Myoga. "You don't need to call me 'Lady.' "
"I shall try to remember that," Myoga acknowledged, knowing full well he would disregard this conversation any time Sesshomaru was within earshot. That didn't leave many "safe" places, to be honest.
Kagome's feet moved mechanically, barely registering the distance covered as her mind raced, disturbing thoughts threatening to make their way to the surface. She didn't even notice when she stumbled into camp, a deep frown on her face.
"Lady Kagome, are you alright?" Miroku had picked up on her tumultuous aura some time ago, and her expression only deepened his concern.
"I'm fine," Kagome brushed off their worried looks. "Let's go see where that village was." Naraku was priority; her feelings could wait.
They could tell something was bothering her by the way her eyes glazed over and her brows crinkled in thought, but every time they tried to ask, she's brushed it aside with a fake smile and ask what they thought Naraku was up to. Eventually, they stopped asking; she would reach out when she was ready.
Bursting through the tree line, the entire group froze in their steps, "Whoa, that used to be a village?" Fields spread out over the expanse before then, but in the center, where a small village should have sat, populated by farmers and merchants, was only a massive crater. Myoga's words made sense now, a village really had disappeared. Naraku's stench was still in the air, he had definitely been here.
"Wait, what's that?" Sango pointed out across the crater. A whirlwind was heading in their direction.
"It's just that flea-bitten wolf," Inuyasha shrugged it off, looking around the crater himself for any clues. It wasn't surprising; they weren't far from his den.
'Kouga's here?' Kagome's thoughts swirled. 'I need to pay attention. I didn't even notice Kouga's shards; Naraku could have been near and I would have missed him completely.'
"So, you're here too, Mutt," Kouga tossed out as his whirlwind dissolved. "Took you long enough to pick up Naraku's scent." Inuyasha growled back; he was not about to admit that he had been led here, and hadn't picked up the scent until a few miles ago. "Just goes to show that wolves are better than dogs."
"Hey, stop being so mean, Kouga," Shippo piped up, trying to defend Inuyasha. "You forget he's only half dog, but he still picked up the scent-"
"Save it, Runt," Inuyasha tossed the fox behind him, effectively halting his mouth. Sure, his heart was in the right place, but his methods, well, Inuyasha didn't need anyone to defend him, nor pointing out he was only a half demon.
"The kit has a point," Kouga chuckled playfully, "it's a miracle you've made it this far."
"Kouga," Inuyasha drew Tessaiga. "I'll make you eat those words!" The two canines stared each other down, both just waiting for the other to make a move. Neither did. This was usually when Inuyasha's leash would hold him back; a well timed "sit" was the best way to end these confrontations, and strangely enough, both had gotten so used to it, they weren't sure exactly what to do with themselves when Kagome wasn't interfering.
Both males slowly glanced over at the girl; she was looking right at them, but seeing nothing. Indecision flashed in Kouga's vibrant eyes. "Kagome?" he broached, barely noticing how Inuyasha put Tessaiga away. "Are you alright?"
"Oh," she focused in on the world around her. "Yeah, I'm fine." Her lips curved up in what she hoped was a convincing smile. She should have known better.
Kouga noticed right away that her scent was cloaked in that dog's stench even more than before, but now there was a flatness to her smile he had only seen when Inuyasha had hurt her. It was dangerous, lethal even to get close to a female scent marked by another, but he couldn't just leave without talking to her first. She meant too much to him to abandon her like that; he would always wonder, always regret not taking this chance. She looked so tormented; he had to. And if Sesshomaru sought his life for it, well, the dog would have to catch him first.
Decision made, Kouga sprinted over to her, hesitating only briefly before taking Kagome's hands in his, "Kagome, I need to talk to you." The tone he used was obviously not what she expected; it was so much more… tender, than he usually acted.
Inuyasha watched on with conflicting emotions. Sesshomaru was pack, but he was also a major asshole. Kouga wasn't a much better choice, but at least he seemed to care about Kagome. His brother only wanted to use her. He wouldn't get in the way this time. "Sango, Miroku, let's look for any sign of where Naraku took the village," the two humans just stared after the odd behavior of their companion. Not only was he not fighting Kouga, but he was willingly and without prompting, giving him privacy to speak with Kagome. "Come on already!"
"Uh, right behind you," Miroku stammered out.
"Is this really such a good idea, Miroku?" Sango whispered.
"I doubt Kouga will do anything to harm Kagome," Miroku spoke gently. "It's Sesshomaru's reaction that concerns me."
"Just in case," Sango turned to the small feline in her arms, "keep an eye on them, okay, Kirara?"
"Mew," the small fire cat bounded over to the priestess, curling up in a sunny patch of grass to keep watch. So long as no danger threatened her charge, she would take a nap.
"W-what do you want to talk about, Kouga?" Kagome tried to put on a cheery facade.
"Is he really what you want?" he got straight to the point.
Trying to change the subject, Kagome evaded the question, "I don't know what you're talking ab-"
"You look like you're about to cry," her eyes widened and misted over at his statement. He saw right through her act, perhaps they all did, but he was the one to make her talk. "What did he do to you?"
"I don't really want to talk about it," Kagome turned away, still trying to repress the dark thoughts that plagued her.
"Kagome," Kouga's tone darkened, "did that mongrel hurt you?" She had obviously bathed after, but the scent of mating still lingered on her skin. If that dog forced her, he-
"No!" she exclaimed knowing what Kouga must be thinking and startled Kirara from her nap. "No, it was just a misunderstanding." She bent down to reassure the small, fire cat that she was alright. Gentle pats had the kitten-sized demon snoozing in no time. "I didn't… I didn't understand what my actions meant, that's all." 'What am I doing? I'm telling Kouga, a demon who claims to love me, everything about the demon I love,' Kagome reprimanded herself, but the floodgates just wouldn't close. "I think I made him angry, and he left. I just want him to come back so I can explain, you know? I just didn't know."
Kouga listened with more patience than Kagome had ever seen him exhibit, but one thing just didn't make sense to him, "What could you have done to make him mad at you?" Sure, the demon lord could be volatile, but seeing as he was courting Kagome, she should be able to get away with a minor slip.
Kagome's cheeks flamed, before her expression fell at the memory of Sesshomaru walking away from her. If she didn't tell him, he would only keep asking, "I kissed him." Kagome immediately regretted her words; the hurt in Kouga's eyes spoke volumes to her . It was the same pain she felt. "Kouga, I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to hurt you too." Silence dragged on between them as Kagome waited for him to say something, anything.
"Are you sure?" he asked gently.
"What do you mean?" Kagome felt the tears coming back again, but this time, for a completely different reason. She could feel it; his heart was breaking.
"You deserve so much better than him, Kagome," Kouga continued in that same downtrodden tone. "Is he really what you want?"
Was he? Was Sesshomaru really the one she wanted to be with? He was cold and distant, the exact opposite of Kouga who told her exactly how he felt about her every chance he got. It was quite possible Sesshomaru would never return her love, but, "You should know better than anyone, Kouga, you can't help who you fall in love with."
A humorless laugh escaped him, she was right about that. He fell head over heels the instant he saw her save that little fox, "I understand, and if he is who you want, I won't get in your way." Kagome's face lit up, with a real smile this time. "That's not to say I won't have a few choice words for him if I ever run into him again. Someone as kind hearted as you, should never have to cry."
"Thank you, Kouga," Kagome pulled him into a hug. "Thant you for understanding."
"Anything for you, Kagome," he reveled in this embrace, knowing it would be the last. "Now, what do you say to tracking down a spider? I did promise you his head."
Kagome let out a small laugh at his attempt at humor, before looking back towards the crater, "Do you know which way he went?"
"Just follow the debris he left behind," Naraku couldn't have left a clearer trail, in both physical evidence and scent. It was as if he wanted them to follow him.
"That's west," Kagome calculated, giving rise to even more questions, 'Why would Naraku go west; that's Sesshomaru's territory.' "Inuyasha," Kagome called to her companions. "Naraku took the village west. Let's go!"
West took them back near the village of Edo, so Kagome took a few days to go home and restock on supplies. School was a lost cause; she couldn't focus with the drama from the feudal era weighing her mind down. And if that wasn't bad enough, Hojo just had to show her a scroll of his family's history; her name was there, the bride to Akitoki Hojo in the feudal era! She rushed back as quickly as possible. Perhaps Sesshomaru would be waiting for her by now.
"Im going on ahead," Kouga had boasted as soon as they stopped at Edo. "Don't fall too far behind, Mutt." It was a good thing too, for no sooner had Kagome returned had they been suckered into another quest. Akitoki Hojo was sent to dispel the demonic aura of a cursed blade, the Ken blade from the Naginata of KenKon. The only reason Inuyasha agreed to help at all, was because it took them in the same direction that Naraku took that village. If all went according to plan, it wouldn't take any more time, but when had everything ever gone according to plan?
Only half a day in, and Kagome had already gotten lost by falling into a river during a battle with the demon ninja clan. Akitoki fell with her, the bad luck he suffered from carrying the Ken blade dogging his every step. With an injured ankle, Kagome opted to stay in one place and wait for Inuyasha, but if he didn't find them by morning, she'd press on to the shrine and dispel the blade's aura herself.
It was during this rest, that Akitoki began professing how honored he was to eat her home cooking. "Don't go overboard, now," Kagome countered. "It's only instant noodles."
"It's delicious!" Hojo exclaimed. "Such a delicacy. When I think of the man who will be able to eat your home cooking everyday I'm so jealous I can't stand it!"
"I, uh," Kagome found herself at a loss for words. An image of Sesshomaru turning down her stew a few weeks ago because it was not "suitable" sustenance for him flashed across her mind. Shaking the image away, she gave a tentative answer, "I don't have a guy like that." He didn't even try what she made.
"Oh, I see. Well, I know you are traveling with a monk and a half-demon, but of course I can't say whether or not they are suitable partners for you," Akitoki stated boldly, finally cluing Kagome in to his thoughts. "Somewhere under this enormous sky there's a man who was born to share his destiny with you. Of that much I am certain."
"Destiny, huh?" Kagome mirrored his words, letting her gaze rest on the crescent sliver of the full moon peaking out from the clouds. She was instantly reminded of another crescent, one that had her spirits in far worse shape than the lunar body, 'Is it my destiny to mate Sesshomaru, or marry Akitoki, like that scroll said? But then again, maybe I'm overthinking this; maybe he already found someone who just happened to share my name.'
"Hojo, have you found someone? I mean, are you engaged?" Kagome asked hopefully. If he was, at least that would be one trouble off her back.
"No, especially not with the bad luck my family suffers from," he responded quickly.
"I guess that makes sense," she acknowledged, resigned to continue fretting. "So many things are happening in this era, it must be hard to find a bride-"
"Kagome, I'd jump at the chance to marry you!" Akitoki blurted out, causing a vibrant blush to overtake Kagome's fair face. "N-nevermind, forget that, it's nothing!"
The air remained thick with tension, as conflicting thoughts swirled, but soon human frailty won out, and when Kagome finally turned to speak, Akitoki was already asleep. Only once he would not notice the crack in her facade, did she let her thoughts return to that distressing night, 'Why would Sesshomaru react that strongly to my feelings? He didn't need to just leave me like that. Where are you; why haven't you come back?' Hojo slumped sideways, falling into Kagome's lap. She startled, but calmed when she realized he hadn't done it on purpose. 'He must be exhausted.' The sight of her name, written on the Hojo family scroll, flashed into her mind's eyes, 'Wait a minute! What am I thinking about that for? But then again… I tried to get Sesshomaru to talk to me, to tell me what I did wrong… He wouldn't even look at me.' Her head turned up to the sky, searching out the visual reminder of the one her heart pined for, but the clouds hid it away. 'Maybe there is a deep rift between demons and humans, one thats so big, it simply can't be crossed.'
(A/N: I decided to give Kouga a redeeming scene, but still might have him get on Sesshomaru's bad side later. We'll see what fits. As far as where I stopped, the four part episode with Hoshiyomi of the demon ninjas (episodes 137-140), were simply too long to fit in a single chapter. I'll finish that up next time, then probably get around to Naraku's schemes.)