Disclaimer: I don't own KHR or any characters aside from my OCs.

I don't know how long we've been in this stinky JAWS Alliance dungeon but I do know that they must be getting anxious. The dungeon was lit with light for the first time since I awoke and footsteps echoed off the walls.

"Hah!" The annoying voice of Don Anstario along with his ugly faced right hand man reached our senses, "Hello, Vongola rats. I see you're all awake now."

"Dino's not Vongola." I grumbled.

"Are you enjoying yourselves?" He ignored me. What a dick. "I do hope you're comfortable. We just sent out our demands for them to surrender if they want to see you safe and sound again so don't get too comfortable. I'm sure they'll be surrendering soon."

"Yeah right." The officers spat all at once. Our boss would never allow that to happen. He would probably say, leave them to die because the Vongola should be strongest or something like that. It's kind of sad that we know the boss so well and when he doesn't even like us enough to come and save us.

"Oh yes, I'd like to mention that you can all wet yourselves right where you are. I don't mind. I'm sure the previous tenants of that cell did just that."

Ugh. I gagged at the sound of that.

"I'll send a guard down here in a while, not that you need to be guarded since you're all unarmed, but if you ever get curious as to what's happening outside don't ask the guard." Don Anstario cackled as he turned to leave, "He won't speak to Vongola trash."

I made a face, "Dino's not Vongola."

"Don't worry about the small stuff." He spat and hurried away with his right hand man right behind him. Asshole. If I ever get out of here, he's dead.

The first guard came down the stairs just as Don Anstario had promised and he sneered at the sight of us, "So much for Varia Quality, 'ey?"

Squalo and I shared a sharp look that promised revenge and the death of this stupid guard the minute we get out of this rotten place. The dungeon fell into utter silence as we turned the gears in our heads to formulate some sort of plan that would guarantee us some sweet revenge.

In a sort of eureka! moment that should give me the title of strategy captain, I remembered that Squalo's hand was fake but with the guard sitting there, I had no way to tell senpai of my escape plan. I turned a hopeful glance onto Squalo-senpai and he turned the same look back onto me. We stared at each other for a long moment trying to read each other's expressions but with each passing moment we simply became more and more confused.

We both sighed, "We're screwed."

The guard snorted, "Took you that long to figure that out?"

"Let's go with the sex appeal tactic." Lussuria suggested, "Come on, guard. Work with us here."

"And who in this group has any sex appeal?" Squalo gave me a terrible look of misery, "Kira?"

"Let's leave it to Chrome." I admit that no one would fall for the sex appeal tactic if I was the one doing it, "Unless you want to give the guard a show, senpai."

"VOI!"

"Didn't think so."

The guard just laughed, "They said the Varia was supposed to be a group of serious assassins but damn, you guys talk about the craziest shit."

"So you'll let us out if we give you a tease?" Lussuria asked, "Our Squ-chan can show you his beautiful body."

"Sorry but I don't swing that way." The guard chuckled.

"Oh well it was worth a try." He snickered, "But really now, since we're all stuck together, let's use this time to get to know each other."

Squalo-senpai and I glanced at each other and blurted, "We know too much about each other."

"Leaving the best buddies aside." I could practically hear Lussuria rolling his eyes, "Haneuma, darling, tell me. Did you know that our boss has a thing for Kira-chan?"

"How could I not?" Dino grumbled, "I didn't know Xanxus knew how to like people but it's so obvious when it comes to Kira."

"You know the boss told Squ-chan that he likes her butt."

My face began to heat up, "Wh-What?! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"What was I supposed to say?!" Squalo snapped, "Oh sorry but the boss is in love with your ass?!"

"No wonder." I mused, "He touches it 'on accident' every once in a while."

"He touches your butt?" Dino whined, "And you just let him?"

"That's not the only thing he likes about you, dear~" Lussuria cut in before we could start arguing, "Don't you know he's always staring at your face? There must be something there he likes."

"I'm in love with Kyoya and that's that." I grumbled, "End of story."

"Is there no room in your heart for the boss?"

"Hello!" Dino shouted, "That's not the right question! She's mine!"

"Hm. Oh yes. Well there was that slight problem, wasn't there?" Lussuria sighed, "But you got it up looking at Adelheid, right? So there's no problem. Leave Kira-chan to the boss and you can do what you like with the big breasted Adelheid."

What? No way. I have a problem with that one.

"I didn't get it up looking at her! She was just there!" Dino protested.

"Kira-san." Chrome called out, her quiet voice sharply cutting off Dino's protests, "Mukuro-sama thinks you're interesting. Won't you consider Mukuro-sama?"

Well that's a shock. No thanks. Gross. He's too young. "Not possible."

"Why not?"

"Because he's annoying."

"So she said, Mukuro-sama…" She murmured as if Mukuro could really hear it and I didn't doubt that he could be listening, honestly, I wasn't surprised at all when she giggled, "Kufufu."

None of us wanted to give away the fact that Mukuro had already taken over Chrome's body and was listening in but we all took that to mean that Sawada was finally contacting us in this secretive way.

"What about Yamamoto Takeshi?" Chrome asked, her voice clearly a completely different tone from before but it was still that feminine pitch, "Hibari Kira, you must have some affection for him if you chose to push both Mukuro-sama and him out of the way."

"Don't be ridiculous." I spat but it's true. I don't know if you can call it affection but I like them both for strange reasons like Yamamoto reminds me of Dino and Mukuro… well, Mukuro is entertaining in his own way.

"Hm. Sasagawa Ryohei asked me to tell you that you should 'learn boxing to the extreme' if I managed to connect."

"Message received." I snorted, "When you disconnect, tell him that he's 'annoying to the extreme' and hit him over the head."

"So, how would you like to be rescued by your knight in shining armor if you were a hostage or something?" He was clearly prompting us about our escape plan in the most vaguest way possible since the guard was sitting right there.

"We've got it covered." I said quickly, "But I'd like to have a big welcome party waiting when I escape."

"Preferably the entire Vongola Family." Squalo put in, having caught onto the secretive and vague way that we were relaying messages to Sawada, "Armed and ready to be cut up by us."

"With not a single ounce of worry on their faces." I couldn't help but smirk when Squalo turned a sly smile onto me, "Because we'll all be in fighting condition. We'd like it all ASAP."

"Kufufufu. Understood but really, my dear Kira, once you get out of here, cry some of those tears for me." And then his presence was gone, leaving a dazed Chrome behind.

"Fucking piece of herbivore scum." I grumbled, "I'll bite him to death when I get out of here."

"Scum?" Lussuria squealed so loudly that I wanted him to drop dead, "You've been hanging around the boss much too long! You and Squ-chan both!"

"VOI!"

"Well it's time for me to go but you crazy Vongola rodents can keep playing. Another guard will be down here in a minute." The guard chuckled and muttered about how crazy we were as he left the dungeons.

The minute he was gone Squalo turned a demanding glare onto me, "You better not have been thinking what I thought you were thinking when the guard first came in!"

"What did you think I was thinking about?" I glared right back at him, a serious mood settling back over us.

Yeah. If you guys forgot because of all our bored banter, I had thought of a potential escape plan way back there but I couldn't tell him since the guard was right there.

"Biting me to death?" He was close but not close enough.

"That would defeat the whole purpose of trying to escape! If you're dead then how would you get the rest of us out of here!" I snapped, "I just want to bite your hand off."

Squalo bared his teeth at me threateningly for a second before he understood my plan, "My hand is fake. You're a fucking genius. Alright. Tear it off."

I grinned. This is why Squalo is one of my jerks. In an almost impossible feat, I managed to twist my unchained leg up as far as it would go, "Gah! This is just torture!"

"Deal with it!" He grasped my foot tight, "Ugh. So much dirt on this foot."

"That's the only foot that has mobility so shut up!" My thighs began to burn as I tugged at the faux-hand with all my strength, "Work with me here!"

"I am!"

"Why is it attached so fucking tightly?!"

"Because it's not supposed to fall off easily! Pull harder!"

"I'm already giving it my all!"

"Do it with your dying will!"

"Oh just great! Give me a ring and I'll just bust us out of here, senpai!"

"SHUT UP AND PULL!"

"YOU PULL TOO, YOU BASTARD!"

Dino laughed drawing our glares toward him.

"What's so funny?!" We snapped.

"I'm sorry." He smirked at me in a way that reminded me of Reborn rather than the kind Dino, "I was just thinking that you're too short to have the strength needed to pull out that arm."

"Ugh." Squalo gulped, "Haneuma, that was-!"

My eyebrow twitched furiously and that was the last straw. I'm tired. I have to piss. I'm hungry and I want out of this fucking dungeon. My vision went red with rage and I tore off the hand mercilessly, "Leave my height out of this!"

"FUCK!" Our strategy captain roared at the pain of losing his tightly connected limb, pulled out by the wrist and granting his arm freedom.

The false hand landed in the dirt with a thump. With a simple movement of his long legs, Squalo dragged the hand back toward him. As if it were a skateboard or a fallen hat, Squalo managed to kick it up towards his still chained hand with a flick of his ankle.

"You can reattach it?" I grumbled, "All that hard work and you're just going to reattach it?"

"Shut up!" He snapped, shoving the hand back into it's place with a grunt or two at the discomfort and pain. Looking like a rather foolish prison breaker, Squalo mounted both of his feet against the wall and strained to remove his final binding but to no avail.

Dino sighed and I gulped at the Reborn-like smirk that came up a second later, "Of course he can't get out. He did lose to Yamamoto after all. What a failure as the Sword Emperor."

"VOII!" Squalo's whole face turned red with anger and with an irrational pump of effort the metal binding him to the wall tore loose, granting him freedom, "VOI! How is that for the Sword Emperor?!"

"Senpai!" I hissed, "Hurry and go!"

"Go?" Squalo turned a deadly glare on me, "How am I supposed to leave with you still attached to the wall, idiot?!"

My heart warmed and I felt guilty for feeling so happy about it with Dino around but I couldn't help it. I grinned, "Come back for me, Squalo-senpai."

Wiping his hands against clean patches on his shirt, he awkwardly patted my head, "I won't leave the building without you, scum."

At the bright excitement that lit up my face, Squalo took off. The metal bars of the prison were no match for our pride and debt driven strategy captain. We heard the dreaded opening of the door as a guard roamed in but Squalo motioned for us to be quiet as he slunk out of the cell and out of vision. The hollow sound of a skull being driven into the brick walls of the dungeon rang out and a body was sent flying back towards us. The next guard had been knocked unconscious, blood dripping down his forehead from where Squalo-senpai had roughly shoved him into the bricks.

"He did it." I breathed a sigh of relief as the sound of the door opening once more was heard.

"Now it gets to the hard part." Lussuria warned me but I knew better than to doubt Squalo-senpai and so did Lussuria, "But knowing Squ-chan, it'll be alright."

"I know that better than anyone." I grinned, taking notice of the downcast expression on Dino's face, "What's the matter with you? This is the part where we celebrate. He'll come back. Just believe in him."

Dino forced a smile, "I trust Squalo."

My jaw stiffed. If he trusts our strategy captain then he shouldn't make such a miserable expression. I actually had a whole hour or so to think about it but I didn't really figure anything out. And before anyone says it, yes, I know I'm romantically retard but I'd like to figure it out sooner rather than later! Turns out I don't have the romantic experience to figure it out right this very second so I'll have to work on it later.

The JAWS Alliance discovered Squalo's escape with the next change of guards. The guard that he had knocked out on his way out was still lying in the dungeons so they had come down to find out what had gone wrong.

Don Anstario was enraged by what he saw. The damage to his prison cell, the mafioso lying in his own blood, and the absence of one Varia Quality swordsman. "What is going on here?!"

"I'll tell you." I smirked, "You're one hostage short."

"You little…" The Don stepped threateningly into the busted cell, wrapping one of his coarse hands around my throat, "I don't mind being two hostages short if you continue to speak to me like that, you Vongola rat."

I nodded not in the slightest bit intimidated, "Go right ahead."

"Tell me where your friend is." He growled, "Is he hiding in the dungeons?!"

"Maybe." I grinned, "I'd watch your back if I were you."

"Bring me a knife!" Don Anstario commanded and when he received the weapon, he pushed the tip against my gut, "If you don't want to lose your precious organs, start talking."

I'm not scared of him. Psh, if it was the boss standing in front of me, I might feel just the slightest bit of fear but really? Who the hell would be scared of a guy like this when I work with people like the boss and Squalo-senpai on a daily basis? I calmly assessed the situation, my eyes settling on the dungeon keys at his belt.

"Uwaa!" Came the scream from Don Anstario's men down the hall in these dirty prisons and I knew that Squalo had returned.

A gunshot went off and then another and another and I felt the slightest bit of worry that he had been shot but I knew better than to doubt our strategy captain. The enemy Don turned and barked out, "What's happening?!"

Taking the advantage of the distraction, my foot lashed out and kicked the knife away from Don Anstario and when he turned back to me in surprise, I kicked the dungeon keys off the hook on his belt and towards the door. I was right not to worry excessively because just a moment later Squalo appeared in the doorway in a neat new suit, picking up the keys I had so graciously offered him. A gun sat threateningly in his hand and I knew that the shots that had gone off earlier were from him and that all the other men that had come down here with the Don were now dead. Without warning he shot at Don Anstario until he was out of bullets and when he was out of ammo he threw the gun down and went at the enemy boss with his bare hands.

Letting out a cry of terror when he realized that Squalo was a lot stronger than he was, Don Anstario began to scramble away. Taking the opportunity he was given, Squalo hurried over to undo my chains.

"I knew you'd come back." I laughed when he flicked my forehead on his way to put the second key in the lock. I freed Dino, Lussuria, and Chrome in turn and we followed after Squalo to find the way out at full speed… or I would have if Dino didn't trip and fall flat on his face in front of me, "What are you doing?!"

"Sorry. It must be the shoes." Dino chuckled in embarrassment.

"Romario's not here." I sighed, "Dino can't do anything without his subordinates around."

"Oh goodness." Lussuria sighed, "We should leave him here."

"That was a cruel joke even for us." I rolled my eyes, "You're small. I'll carry you."

"Wh-Wha-?!" Dino had no time to react much, he was forced onto my back by an impatient Squalo.

Dino was not as light as I imagined and my pride fueled my pounding feet as we escaped the building. Lussuria and Chrome broke us out from the front and Squalo-senpai brought up the rear. It hurt my pride to be protected but carrying Dino was my main job. Don Cavallone, probably embarrassed out of his wits, murmured apologies at every turn.

Just outside the Anstario main base was the entirety of the Vongola allied force was waiting for us. Mukuro had done a damn good job at relaying our message. He is good for something after all. That damn Mist Guardian. I dropped Dino flat on his ass…. Just kidding. That's what I wanted to do but I set him down as kindly as possible as soon as we were outside with Romario in view.

"Hand." Squalo ordered, digging in the pockets of his new suit that was probably stolen as a disguise from one of the closets in this stupid building.

I put my hand out eagerly and nearly screamed in joy when my Varia Ring was dropped into my palms, "You really know how to spoil your underclassmen, senpai."

"Ushishishi! Peasants! The prince has come to greet you." Belphegor hurried up to us through the invading crowd of Vongola fighters, "How was your unfortunate capture?"

"This stupid degenerate prince just wouldn't shut up about how many fingers he thought you were going to be missing when you came back." Flan reported nonchalantly, "But I said you would be missing your heads."

Dino cringed away at the harsh words that came from the both of them.

"Uwaah! You're all stinky!" Bel snickered, much too close to me for his comfort, "You finally decided to put on the peasant cologne?"

"Give me a hug." I ordered, spreading my arms wide for Prince the Ripper, "I think I missed you."

"Have you finally lost your marbles?" He spread his arms wide, "The prince will comfort you with knives."

I rolled my eyes and wrapped him up in a tight embrace, making sure to rub the dirt that was on my feet against his pants before pulling away, "That peasant cologne you were talking about, herbivore…"

"Yeah?"

"That's pee-stained dirt from whoever was in the cell before us." I spat and when he began to shout and scream about how disgusting I was, I laughed at his face until I was satisfied.

"Trash." The boss snorted, a smirk on his face at the sight of the three of us safe and practically unharmed, "Did you give them hell?"

"We gave them hell twice." I reported, "Did you miss us, boss?"

"I could go a few more years without all the extra trash."

"Cruel." The three of us complained, "Maybe we should've told them all the boss' weaknesses."

"Don't have any." The boss snorted, snatching one of the knives in Bel's hands and throwing it at us despite the prince's complaints.

"You got one right here!" Squalo and Lussuria each jabbed a finger into my cheeks.

"Enough!" The boss roared, lifting his guns and watching our expression twist in shock as he let off a round of shots mercilessly in our direction.

We dove out of the way. The boss stormed by, locking me under his arm as he walked.

I stumbled along backwards at his harsh tugging, pressed tightly to his side, "Boss?"

The boss glanced back over his shoulder, "What do you scumbags think you're doing?! Let's give them hell for a third time."

"YES BOSS!" Was our loud and enthusiastic response.

Behind us were Sawada and his Guardians, in front of us were the enemy mafiosos, and the fight began anew. Amongst the screams and endless piles of corpses were the strongest fighters of our alliance and theirs. I bit one man to death and then another and another and I really wasn't the only rampaging murderer around. Squalo wasn't exactly leaving his opponents in one piece either, not to mention Belphegor over there living up to his name of Prince the Ripper, but what I'm trying to say is that we've never been so sick of murdering people.

At one point in the battle, I found myself back to back with our strategy captain and we both complained about our situation.

The minute my back touched his I said, "I never thought I'd say this but I'm tired of biting people to death."

"Well you're not the only one!" Squalo snapped, "But it's not like we have a choice."

"I've got an idea!" Flan pushed his way through the crowd with Prince the Ripper right behind him, "Let's see who kills the most people starting now. The one with the least has to let me pull pranks on him all year long."

That sounded like a nightmare to all of us. We all glared at each other competitively, each of us making a face like we were absolutely certain that we wouldn't be the one with the least amount of kills.

"I've got a better idea." Lussuria sang, dancing his way through the crowd whilst putting his metal knee in the faces of several enemies, "The one with the most kills gets to go on a month-long vacation while the loser has to clean up this mess and cater to the boss' every whim~"

Now that sounds like cruel and unusual punishment. In a moment of utmost sadism and confidence, all of us gathered here agreed to start counting our kills. The game didn't last long. When the boss caught wind of our deal, he made it his business to make sure to take all of my kills.

"Ushishishi!" Belphegor, taking pity on me, dragged over a half-dead herbivore and dropped him at my feet, "You haven't had a kill in a while. The prince feels generous so take it."

"I'll bite you to death!" I shouted and turned on Bel, the two of us fighting like we weren't actually on the same side.

Dino spotted us being our usual violent and sadistic selves and shouted, "Stop that! You guys are supposed to be fighting together not fighting each other!"

I turned to tell him to piss off but when I saw the amount of blood he was drenched in, I hesitated a moment too long. One of Bel's knives grazed my neck and I heard him panic, "The Prince didn't do it!"

I stepped away from the wire that came with it and my hand flew to the cut. I sneered at Prince the Ripper, "Lucky hit, bastard prince."

"Ushishishi." He shrugged, relieved that I wasn't too badly injured.

Dino, on the other hand, was immediately mothering me, "Oh my god! You guys are going to really kill each other one day. Does it hurt a lot? Do you need a medic?"

"Oh shut up." I grumbled, pushing him away and cringing when I pulled my hand away and it returned soaked in blood, "You're in a much worse state."

"Oh." He chuckled breathily, "This? It's alright. It doesn't hurt much. It was my fault anyways. I made a silly mistake since I'm not as strong as I'm supposed to be in this body."

"I hope the one who did that to you is dead?"

"Ahh no… He got away." He smiled sheepishly, "Sorry?"

I jabbed my finger into his much less muscular chest and frowned at the feel of it but I managed to keep saying what I wanted to say, "Stick close to me. You're going to get yourself killed."

He gave me that sad smile that I've been seeing a lot of lately, "Thanks."

As cute as this Dino is… I want the normal Dino back. He's much more capable; less likely to die.

I spent a long while protecting Dino and I guess some higher power decided to reward me by answering my prayers. Verde shows up so guess what? Obviously, I hate Verde so I lost interest in trying to kill anyone but Verde. I demanded to know why he was on the battlefield but he simply forced his Green Gola Mosca to grapple with me until I turned it into a scrap heap. Either way, thanks to his little piece of junk, he was given enough time to pull out a bazooka and fire it straight into Don Cavallone's face. The smoke that resulted from the shot made Verde and everyone else within a two mile radius cough their lungs up.

"I'll kill you!" I coughed, waving the smoke away and squinting my eyes to see through the thick green smoke, "What the hell are you doing?!"

Verde coughed, tucking his bazooka away for later use I suppose, "You should thank me, Hibari. I've come all this way with a cure for your inamorato's bodily problems on behalf of Don Bovino."

"And what are you getting out of this?"

"How rude." He feigned hurt and then smirked, pushing his glasses up his thin little nose, "But on the contrary, I've received scientifically valuable compensation along with the word that Don Cavallone would pay good money for a cure."

The smoke cleared and sure enough, Dino's body had returned to normal. The wounds he had sustained from when he was in his fourteen year old body had carried over to this one but I was overjoyed to have him back. There was no time for me to celebrate.

Squalo-senpai's voice rang out and the game that I had almost forgotten about popped back into a high spot on my priorities list, "VOII! TRASH, WHOEVER KILLS DON ANSTARIO AUTOMATICALLY WINS THE GAME!"

Several mafiosos paused and asked each other, "What game?"

I shook my head and hurried away from Belphegor to search another side of the battlefield for the escaping Don. Turns out that at I was the most unfortunate soul in the world because the winner of our little competition ended up being Leviathan, who declared that he would spend his vacation doing the boss' dirty work. The rest of us groaned and said it was a waste but the ultimate loser was me so the boss automatically took me under his arm by way of headlocks and dragged me toward the limo to help him patch up his wounds after the battle was over. And after I patched him up, he ordered Lussuria to give the rest of us some treatment and set us to work picking up the corpse of our herbivorous dead lackies after minimal treatment.

Yeah. If you haven't noticed it by now, our boss is one hell of a slave driver...

IsraAl'Attia-Theron: LOL OMG Squalo-senpai! Please notice the perverts! Ahh... Good old Gokudera was good for something! Scientifically explaining the reproductive process.

My Name is Alice: Yamamoto is probably the funniest character in the whole story. Lol. Gokudera explaining -torturing- Kira was a hilarious full scene too but I cut it out cause it ended up being so long!

So much school work guys! Valentines Day be coming up! Single awareness day! T_T