Chapter 37:

More Drugs Please

Leah's point of view:

Never in my life did I think that I would be begging for more pain medications. My head was killing me, my stomach was throbbing, and there was a very annoying tightness in my chest.

I. Felt. Like. Ass.

And the vampire smell wasn't making me feel much better. But even though I felt like absolute crap, I knew that pain medications weren't going to do any good. They'd just drug me up to the point that I wouldn't care that I was in pain.

"Ha, ha. I feel like shit. But it's all good...because the monkey with the cymbals in the corner of the room is making me laugh…"

So, I just grit my teeth and opted to stay quiet. Hell, considering what I had been through in the past week, this was nothing. I tried to focus on something other than my discomfort. I wondered what my mom was doing. No doubt she was cussing at Seth and me for disappearing again. It had to suck being our mom. She never knew if we were dead or alive. And until one of us checked in, she always assumed the worst. But she knew that she couldn't do anything about it.

I was glad that she wasn't here by my bedside shaking like a leaf and whimpering quietly to herself. Though Jacob seemed to have that area covered. I sighed as I watched him try not to break down in front of me. He was probably afraid that I'd call him a sobbing woman. I totally would.

Seth was holding it together very well at the moment. It was probably because he was so exhausted from listening to his big sister snore all night. Or maybe the eternal optimist in him was wishing for the best possible outcome. That's something that I both loved and hated about my brother. His ability to find the good in all situations drove me insane. He seemed to take life as it came. Dad had done a good job teaching him how to just take what life throws at you.

My dad also taught us to try and see things realistically and logically. My father hadn't raised us to be dumb. I wasn't stupid. I knew that something was wrong. That's the only reason I hadn't bailed from the vampire's house this time. I probably wouldn't even make it into the living room before collapsing, forcing Jacob to drag me back here while Emmett made fun of us, calling us Lady and the Tramp. Emmett knew more about famous dogs in history than anyone I'd ever met. I was convinced that he spent all of his time researching names to call Jacob and I. He'd once called us "Fly and Rex." I just stared at him in confusion.

"Didn't you ever see Babe?" he'd asked me.

"You have way too much time on your hands," I'd frowned.

"How about Balto and Jenna?"

"You need a life in the worst way."

I looked at Jacob. He was trying to hide his fear. Trying and failing. He smiled nervously at me. He didn't have the best poker face in the world.

"Carlisle lied, didn't he?" I knew that I wasn't going to be okay. Why should I get to be happy in life? I sighed. I wasn't feeling any better. In fact, if anything, I felt worse. "I'm not going to get better…" Wow, I was genuinely disappointed about that. When had my will to live reappeared?

Jacob was quick to stop me. He shook his head. "He's working on it."

I could see Carlisle in some gigantic lab wearing glasses, a white coat, and latex gloves playing with all kinds of chemicals and nodding seriously to himself as he wrote the results down.

And while Carlisle did research and stumbled around trying to figure out what the hell was the matter with me, I was going to croak in an itchy, horrible hospital gown in a house full of vampires.

I scoffed, "Great. And while he spends half a century trying to figure it out, I'm going to die in a pink dress…" A pink dress that exposed my ass. Seriously, if I wanted clothes that flashed people, I would take pointers from Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears.

I looked underneath the sheet and saw that someone was having a little too much fun while I was unconscious. I knew my feet felt hot. I grumbled, "Who the hell put booties on me?" And why would they do such a thing?

Jacob knew better. So did Seth. I don't think any of the vampires would mess with me either. Except…

Emmett. I was going to freaking kill him. I was going to heal, get better, get stronger…all so I could kick the shit out of his ass. I don't know where in the hell he had gotten booties for me. Maybe the big lug had knitted them just to torture me with them. That sounds like something he would've done.

I could see Rosalie walking into the house in confusion.

"Emmett, why are you knitting?"

"It's all part of my evil plan to torture Leah."

"Why? Are you going to knit her a dog sweater?"

"Close. Booties. Muhahahaha…"

"Wow. I'm not really sure why I married you…"

I groaned to myself. The big prankster might as well have stuck a freaking tutu on me.

"I'm going to die looking like an effing ballerina!"

I saw Jacob tense up. I guess he didn't like to think about me dying. I had forgotten how much he actually cared about me.

"You can't die," Jacob frowned. "I've ordered you not to."

He ordered me not to? That was the most ridiculous, absurd…sweetest thing I'd ever heard. Sometimes I forgot how young and naïve Jacob could be. It was a nice thought, though…trying to keep me from dying with his command, but he couldn't really think that would actually work?

"Well then, since my Alpha has commanded me to do something, I guess I have to do it." I laughed. "Because we all know that I always do what I'm told."

I saw Seth roll his eyes. A weak smile formed on Jacob's lips. But it didn't last for very long. As much as I wanted to be okay for Jacob and Seth, I knew that there was a slight chance that I might not get to grant their request. But it wouldn't be for lack of trying. I'd made that promise to Jacob that I wouldn't just lay down and die. But I needed to know what I was up against.

"How bad is it?" I asked. If they lied to me, I was going to be pissed. "Do I need to do some creepy ass last will and testament?" Of course, it wouldn't consist of much. All it would say would be "To everyone I know: I hate you. That is all. As far as my possessions, I don't have any…except my room. Seth, you can have my room. Just don't turn it into a frickin' Star Wars shrine. Seriously, kid...you're NOT a Jedi. Grow up."

Jacob inhaled a sharp breath, "You're going to be fine, Leah."

Liar.

The way that Jacob was looking at me almost killed me. Why did I let him fall for me? I knew I would cause him pain. It's what I did best. I hated myself for letting him care about me, but oddly enough, I didn't hate that I cared about him just as much.

Snap out of it, Leah. You're turning into a brainless bimbo. Arg, you're turning into Bella Sw—Cullen. You will NOT let love turn your brain to mush like that idiot.

Jacob put his hand against my cheek. And although his face was calm, I could feel his fear. His hand was perfectly still on my face, but I could tell how much he was trembling beneath the surface. God, did I mean that much to him? I just looked at him silently for a minute. When the hell had he fallen this hard for me?

"You're going to be fine." Jacob repeated what he'd just said. I saw him glance away. He looked at the ceiling for a moment before he closed his eyes and took in a breath. His fingers brushed my cheeks nervously. I couldn't stand his anxiety. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to ask him when he lost his penis and grew a vagina. Since when was he the girl in this relationship?

All of my frustration became concern as I watched him try to hold it together. I hated concern. Concern pissed me off. But all I could do was put my hand on Jacob's hand. He looked at me, startled by my sudden show of affection. I held his hand to my face and shook my head.

"Don't bullshit me." It's all that I asked. I didn't want someone telling me that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to know what was really going on. "You're a crappy liar."

He couldn't help but smile and argue with me.

"I am not." He stuck his bottom lip out. The way that he acted like a big baby sometimes used to bother me. But for some reason, I found it endearing today. Hmm, maybe it was the drugs talking. "You really are going to get through this, you know."

Wishful thinking, kid. Although, maybe Jacob was right. Who knows what else Carlisle had up his sleeve? The dude was kind of a genius.

"So, what's wrong with me this time? Did the doctor not take enough of my organs out? Do we have to go back in and remove my other ovary, my kidneys, and one of my lungs?" I felt like that game Operation. I wonder what Carlisle would do if I buzzed every time he got near me with a scalpel. I sighed. I highly doubted the Milton Bradley version of that game had removable ovaries. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to think about the fact that half of my estrogen had been removed. I already felt like a freak, and now I had another reason to be considered even more of a screw up.

Jacob explained to me that I needed a blood transfusion. What a surprise. The vampire wanted to make everything better with blood.

"Your color looks like crap, my dear." Jacob winked at me.

I smiled. You ass. I shook my head in thought. Wait a second. Had he just called me dear? How sleep deprived was the poor boy?

"The fact that you're starting to look paler than the vampires is a bit concerning," Jacob admitted.

So, my skin was starting to get pale again? Now I knew how Michael Jackson felt. I looked at Jacob with a smile.

"Maybe I've got some weird skin bleaching disease. Maybe I have Michael-Jacksonitis." I chuckled. When I laughed, I could feel that the numbing agent had worn completely off of my stomach. Ow. Must...stop...laughing.

I cringed. But hopefully they couldn't tell that it was from the pain. "As long as they don't make me actually eat the blood, I guess it couldn't hurt." I'm sure they would assume that the scowl on my face was for the "drinking blood" comment. I didn't want them to see how damn badly I was hurting.

"There's just one more thing that you need to know about it…" Seth said.

I had almost forgotten that my brother was here. He'd been so quiet. I'm surprised that he hadn't grunted for me and Jacob to get a room.

What was it that Seth needed me to know about? The blood?

"As long as it's not Keith Richard's or Ozzy Osborne's blood, I think I'll be okay," I nodded. Though that might be fun. I could see myself completely tripping out after receiving some blood laced with thirty years of drugs and alcohol. I don't think either Ozzy or Keith got through a day in the seventies without being completely trashed.

I saw Seth pouting. He looked annoyed. Jacob had the same look on his face.

"Why do you care who gives me the blood, as long as I get it?" I questioned.

"Because Sam's the one donating it," Jacob said. I glanced at him. He looked irritated with himself for letting that slip. He probably thought that I was going to have a stroke. If I didn't feel so shitty, I would have punched something.

"Well…this day sucks," I sighed. Sam was the last person in the world that I wanted something from. I didn't want to have to be constantly reminded that he had done something nice for me. Although, it was about damn time. He was the reason I needed a blood transfusion.

"Hey, I'm going to go update the guys," Seth said as he walked towards the door.

I couldn't help but torment him. "Quick, Jacob…let's make out. Seth's leaving the room!"

"Ha, ha. Very funny." He disappeared into the hallway.

"Oh, yes! Jacob, don't stop!" I called loudly so my brother could still hear me.

"Not listening!" Seth exclaimed back.

"I am!" I heard Emmett yell.

"Well, you have enough strength to torment your brother. That's a good sign," Jacob smiled.

"How's he been doing?" I questioned.

"Better than me," Jacob mumbled. He shrugged, "He has complete faith that Carlisle will come through for you."

"He always did trust others a little too much." I shook my head. "So, who knows about this?"

"Embry and Quil. Sam probably wouldn't know—except for the fact that Quil spilled his guts to him."

"I always knew that he was the weakest link."

"Not exactly. Apparently, Quil called Sam a bastard, told him to mind his own business, reamed him out for what he did to you, and then told him to go eat dog shit."

Wow, it sounded like Quil had been channeling me. I was impressed.

"I'm not sure who Sam has told. I assume he talked to you about his plan to move?"

"Yeah, I basically called him a chicken shit and told him that he had to stay and face his mistakes."

"It's totally a pussy move," Jacob agreed.

"Well…he is a pussy," I shrugged, and then snorted out a laugh. "And you want me to accept his blood?"

"You are going to." He had a serious look on his face. "Carlisle just has to verify that Sam has the same blood type as you," Jacob said. When he said Sam's name, I saw fury in his eyes. I hadn't taken into account how hard it must be for Jacob to let my ex-boyfriend give me his blood.

"I would rather be injected with pigs blood," I frowned. Swine Flu be damned. I'd rather take my chances with a farm animal than let Sam's blood mix with mine.

"I hate it, too," Jacob grumbled. "I'd give you every drop of my blood if we were a match. But it just so happens that Sam might be able to keep you from dying…so I'm going to let him give you his blood." He paused and gave me a very serious look. "And so are you. Do not argue about this with me, Leah."

I couldn't if I wanted to. As much as I hated the idea of Sam donating blood for me, I knew that I didn't have any other options.

I suddenly laughed at the thought of something, "Sam Uley—the wuss who is afraid of needles—is going to let a vampire stick him and take his blood?" Sam must feel guilty as hell. Good. He needed to. I shook my head "Whatever. As long as he knows where the blame lies."

Jacob suddenly took a step backwards and a growl escaped his mouth. I saw him work to get control of himself.

"What the hell are you growling at, Cujo?" I questioned.

"Sorry. I'm arguing with myself. I'm just so angry…"

"Gee, whatever could have you upset?" I asked sarcastically. He had a lot to choose from. But I wasn't expecting his response.

"I'm just pissed at myself." He shook his head. "This is my fault."

What. The. Hell? He was blaming himself?

"Are you kidding me? You've done everything annoyingly possible to make sure that I get out of this okay! You've been on my ass since the vampire bit me. You've been constantly keeping me alive. So please explain to me how in the hell you can fault yourself for this?"

"You were out on the cliff that day because of the things I said to you about you being unhappy. If I hadn't opened my big mouth, you never would have run off."

"What does that have to do with Sam mauling me?"

"That was my fault, too. If you hadn't been coming to warn the Cullens…"

"He came after me because of what I said about Emily. Not because of your plan." I reminded him.

"He was also upset about you and me being together."

"Cause he's an asshole. He had no right to be pissed about that."

"Leah, if I hadn't…"

"I don't want to hear it, Jacob. No one can force me to do something that I don't want to. You know that better than anyone. So stop with the damn self pity. This is not your fault." If anything, it was mine. For constantly getting in over my head. For never letting anyone help me. For being such an incredible dunce.

"Crap. Your heart rate is increasing again," Jacob said with concern on his face.

"So?"

"So…Carlisle said that you're supposed to stay calm. This is not calm," he frowned.

"If it bothers you so much, then just get me a new heart. Hell, I already feel like a car that's been stripped down. Why not go ahead and replace the engine while I'm here?"

"Well, I do know someone who has the same blood type as you…" Jacob said with a small grin on his face.

"If you brought me Sam Uley's heart, I would tell you to pack it with dynamite set to explode on the day of his wedding and then shove it back in his chest!" I exclaimed.

"That would be the funnest, bloodiest wedding ever," Jacob nodded.

"So, she's awake?" I looked up and saw Emmett standing in the doorway grinning at me.

"Visiting hours are over. Come back—never," I frowned at him.

"Whoa, you got some of your spunk back. Good for you." Emmett walked in the room.

"Why are you constantly bothering me?" I questioned.

"Because my wife is babysitting, and I'm bored," Emmett shrugged. He checked one of the machines that I was hooked up to. "And I'm your nurse for this morning. If you don't like it, deal with it."

"You are without a doubt...the ugliest nurse I have ever seen," I yawned.

"Just for that, I'm going to spit in your Jello," Emmett frowned jokingly.

I rolled my eyes and let out a soft laugh. When I exhaled my breath, I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Leah, are you okay?" Jacob questioned nervously.

"Just tired." I started to drift off. I guess I had used all of my energy tormenting my brother, playing with Jacob, and fighting with Emmett.

"Where's Carlisle?" Jacob asked.

"You've got to relax. You're not going to help the situation any by freaking out, man." Emmett was probably just too stupid to be concerned.

I heard someone else come into the room.

"Oh, great. You're sicking Jasper on me?" Jacob mumbled. "Why?"

"Because I'm all out of marijuana," Emmett snickered sarcastically. My mind filled with hilarious pictures of what Emmett might have been like as a stoner. I could see him poking his muscles and laughing, "Ha! I can make my man boobies dance!"

Someone else came in the room. Geeze, it was a god damn vampire circus in this house. And unfortunately, I was the sideshow.

"I think she passed out again," Jacob said. This time his voice wasn't as shaky. Jasper was working his mojo.

"No, I didn't," I responded as I opened my eyes. "Losing internal organs has a way of making you more than a little drained."

"You should feel better once we start the transfusion." Carlisle played with a bunch of machinery. Before I knew it, I was getting Sam's blood. It was kind of bitter—or at least, I felt like it was.

And as much as I hated to admit it, it was slowly starting to make me feel better. I listened to Carlisle as he explained to me what was going on. I better understood what he was telling me now compared to when he was talking to me about my MRI earlier. I was so out of it before my MRI that when Carlisle spoke to me, all I could see was his head turning into a giant balloon and floating off of his head. At least I was coherent this time. Though that still didn't help me understand his medical terminology.

At one point, I looked at Jacob. "What did he just say?"

"Hell if I know," Jacob shrugged.

Carlisle tried to explain the situation to me again. All I heard was "blah, blah, blah…venom in your brain…blah, blah…trying to shut down your body…blah…something about surgery."

"Let me get this straight. My brain is shutting down my body and telling my heart to fail?" I frowned. "That has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" I laughed. That sounded like something that might be on some piece of crap daytime television show. My brain wasn't communicating properly with my body? Maybe if I yelled at myself, I could stop all of this from happening, Hey, brain! What the hell is the matter with you? Stop being so stupid and telling my body to do shit! Yeah, if only it were that easy.

"You are the first case of a wolf to survive vampire venom…"

"Well, I'm not doing a very good job of surviving, am I?" I asked coolly.

"Because it's so poorly documented, I was not sure what to expect. But after your MRI, I know exactly what needs to be done. If the venom can be removed, I expect that your body would return to its normal state. You would be able to heal from this."

"Didn't you say the venom was in my brain?" I questioned. Carlisle nodded silently.

"Uh oh. Here it comes," Emmett said quietly. He could see the wheels turning in my head. He knew I was about to blow a gasket.

I looked at Jacob with a frown on my face.

"You knew about this daytime soap opera plot, didn't you?" I asked.

"Carlisle explains it better. I figured that you would be more willing to do the surgery if he explained it to you."

"You want me to let a vampire do brain surgery on me?" I asked calmly. Jacob nodded. "Are you insane? I don't want to turn into an episode of Grey's Anatomy." I shook my head.

"Patrick Dempsey is the shit," Emmett grinned.

"Look who has a man-crush," I joked.

"His hair is so smooth," Emmett nodded.

"Gee, Emmett—do you whack it to a picture of the guy?" I sniped.

"Only on Thursday nights," Emmett joked.

Damn it. He had too good a of comeback. Fighting with him always took my mind off of the matter at hand. Which…taking into account the look on Jacob's face, maybe I should consider the matter at hand…considering it was my life and all.

"What are my other options?" I asked Carlisle.

"If I don't remove the venom, you will just continue to decline."

"So, in other words—it's 'give me surgery, or give me death?'"

"I'm afraid so."

"How much of my brain are you planning to remove?" I rolled my eyes.

Either Carlisle didn't get that I was being facetious, or he was ignoring my cynicism. Either way, he answered seriously.

"I don't believe I will have to resect any of your brain."

"Did you go to school to learn to do brain surgery? Or is it just something that you do in your spare time?"

"Leah, shut up. Carlisle…do the surgery." Jacob laughed a hard laugh.

"I can't operate on her without her consent." Carlisle shook his head.

"Sure you can. Just hit her over the head with a 2 by 4," Jacob frowned. "Besides, you did it before."

"Because I wasn't conscious to make the decision." I did remember drifting in and out. But then again, I had been drifting in and out of consciousness for almost an entire week now. Even if Carlisle didn't scatter my brains, I'm sure I still had brain damage from everything that had happened.

Seth walked in the room.

"Hey, what'd I miss?"

"Dr. Frankenstein wants to make me his monster." I looked at Carlisle and then at Seth.

"I always wondered what ole scar face would look like in pink," Emmett chuckled.

"Don't think I've forgotten about all the crap you've been pulling on me. As soon as I'm better, I'm going to kick your ass." I threatened him.

"So that means you're going to do the surgery?" Seth asked.

I could feel all of their eyes on me. I sighed. Honestly, I was probably going to let Carlisle do the damn surgery on me. But not before bitching about it.