I have made my decision. I am pacing around her office with my wand clutched tightly in my hand, waiting for her. Any moment now… I can sense it. I just don't believe her and this is the only way I can be sure. I can't live with this doubt in my mind.

The door opened and Athena came in, setting her bag down behind the door. She stopped and frowned. I knew this was the only way I could catch her off her guard.

"you ok?" she said curiously.

"I'm sorry" I said, meaning every word. In a flash I swung my wand around, she didn't have time to react, or replace that barrier that she only lowered for me.

"legilimens!" I cried.

The force of the spell knocked her off her feet and back into a wooden chair. Images flashed through my head as I went through hers. I saw her as a laughing child, kissing a boy, punching him, laughing with friends, out with what I assumed were her parents, kissing the man- the one in the photo. That alone sent shocks through my body. It flickered to some open country, and she seemed to be saying good bye to him- they were both crying and he was holding her to him. I saw her first day here, dancing with Remus, I remembered how angry I was. Suddenly she was kissing me, our first kiss in this very office. Escaping with Black, punching Black,, Black falling through some sort of veil, being pulled away by kingsley as she sobbed, another night with me, an amazing night, flying a broom, talking to Albus, I saw a flash of another man's face, and then I was deeper into the future, I saw fighting, a flash of the dark lord, and finally, and finally the image I had been looking for… me…lying in a pool of blood on a cracked wooden floor, unmoving and still.

I couldn't breathe; I was angry, not scared, and absolutely furious. She had lied to me about my death! My death was coming, soon too… I pulled my wand away and my eyes found her panting in the chair. I looked at her like she was something horrific. I felt so betrayed.

She looked at me as though she didn't know who I was. There was such fear and hatred burning through her eyes I was actually scared- I never imagined she could look at me like that.

"what did you jus do to me?" she whispered, her voice shaking.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO TO ME!" she screamed, pulling her wand out and marching closer to me.

"I DIE! YOU LIED TO ME ATHENA! THAT'S MY LIFE AND YOU WON'T TELL ME THE TRUTH!"

"THE TRUTH! THE FUCKING TRUTH IS WHAT I TOLD YOU SEVERUS! I THOUGHT YOU TRUSTED ME!"

"WELL YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY LYING YOU-"

"LYING? YOU THINK I WOULD LIE TO YOU ABOUT SOMEHTING AS SERIOUS AS YOUR OWN FUCKING DEATH! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? SICK!"

"I HAVE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN EYES! LIAR!"

She threw her wand across the room at me, it clattered on the cold floor and she looked crazy and wild.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A LIAR! I TRUSTED YOU SEVERUS! I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH!"

I rushed close to her face, disgusted by her lying, I felt out of control. "THE TRUTH?" I grabbed her arm as if I could somehow take the truth from her, but the moment I touched her she slapped my face. There was a second of silence whilst I was shocked by the stinging of my cheek.

"don't touch me," she said cruelly.

She turned to leave.

"RUNNING AWAY FORM THE TRUTH?" I shouted after her.

"the truth?" she said, laughing humourlessly. "you know nothing of it, you who lives his life in secrets and lies, I trusted you Severus Snape, I would have trusted you with my life. I told you the truth, you saw different, yes, but you're going to take that over my word? I don't know what I ever saw in you."

She turned and left, slamming the door behind her so hard the glass vials on the surrounding shelves tumbled to the floor, smashing on impact. I grabbed the rest of them ad smashed them on the floor too. I punched the door and sent a curse at the sofa, casting a burnt hole in the middle. Those last words were the ones that hurt the most. I sent another curse at a mirror as I saw my wild, pale, and angry reflection. The glass smashed into glittering shards, spreading dangerously across the floor. She had lied to me, the woman I loved had lied to me, betrayed me, and in order to find out the truth I had betrayed her too. "I don't know what I ever saw in you" were her last words. I can hear them echoing in my head as I write, haunting me.

It's like razors cutting into my heart, into my mind. I picked up her wand, not even wanting to touch it but knowing I couldn't leave it there. It was still warm. I shoved it inside my robes. I swallowed my emotions for a moment and concentrated on sweeping my wand across the room. The mirror repaired itself, as did the vials although the liquid did not return inside them. There was a squeaking sound as the leather from the sofa re sealed itself. I was so angry at her, keeping it from me- lying about it. And I saw that man! What was I then? A bit on the side? Her man whilst she was away? I scowled, glancing around at the room I would never be invited to again I left and went to my own office, punching the door again and then pouring myself a large glass of Firewhiskey.

I was probably on my third when there was a knock at the door. I wondered if it was her and I wrenched it open angrily. It was Remus and it annoyed me.

"yes?"

"It is against her wishes I am telling you this and I want to assure you first of all she is completely fine, but I've just seen Athena jump from her broom, a hundred feet into the ice cold lake."

This made me start. I jumped up, I wasn't sure if it was concern, panic or anger but I needed to be sure she was ok. He waved me sit back down and quickly assured me she was absolutely fine.

"she… told me something had happened between the two of you… something serious… She has assured me it was just something reckless, apparently muggles do it from cliffs into the ocean, but either way it was something dangerous and stupid… She could have been seriously hurt if not killed. She… she didn't seem to be quick to get back on her broom…"

"what happened? How did she get out?"

"I pulled her out, I was passing and saw her… jump."

I shook Remus' hand. "thank you for being there for her… I… it's good to know she has someone who will look out for her. Let's hope she isn't lying to you too" I added bitterly.

Remus ignored my last comment and left.

How could she think about doing that! Was she trying to kill herself? Over me? Or over us? I shook my head, I knew her, she was not the suicidal type... or… at least I thought I knew her… God how could she do this to me! To our relationship- I'm just so angry and also concerned for her… God I didn't know she would take it this badly… although I glance around my living room and almost everything in it has been kicked and smashed and cursed. There are pages of books scattered everywhere and shards of glass by the doorframe. I have a lesson tomorrow, it's just the one but I want to cancel it so badly; I just hate this so much!

I want her… I want to feel her small hand in mine, I want to stroke her face and kiss her soft lips and talk to her about Rita Skeeter and Albus… I'm back to the same old isolated self… without anyone… I twirled her wand around in between my fingers. Would she come and get it? I didn't think so.

A/N: Oh Severus, will you ever learn? reviews are appreciated more than you can imagine!