WARNING: This chapter starts off normal but begins to stray to Raunchy and Risqué later into it. I'm serious, I had warped inspiration when I wrote this; it might be quite offensive or disturbing! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, SO NO REVIEWS ON DISTURBENCE!
Tak woke up to the sound of sizzling and the smells of stir-fry. She smiled happily as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Dib was home.
She walked into the hallway and saw Gaz already up and sniffing at the air. "Dib's teriyaki stir-fry with pork, celery, shreds of a baby carrot, and a bit of onion and garlic, all drizzled in soy sauce…" Gaz thought out loud.
Gaz was supposed to move in with Zim soon and her room was all packed up, but she was still with the Membrane household until such time she felt comfortable to move. It wasn't only for her benefit; Zim was still something of a xenophobe and worried how his house would come over to someone of importance to him, namely the Gaz-flower.
Gaz turned around and saw Tak. "He must have discovered something to restore his rep if he's making something like that." She noted as she smelled the addition of some cayenne to the dish, "Oh, you are in for a treat." Gaz drooled lightly. If there was one thing Gaz loved almost as much as Bloaty's pizza, it was Dib's occasional Asian cuisine.
The two young women descended into the living room and appeared at the doorway of the kitchen where they saw the young man, his black coat folded over a chair, cooking up a large wok of stir-fry, humming a random tune. He saw Tak and Gaz and immediately stopped cooking to give them both a huge hug. Gaz refrained from growling at him as the stir-fry beckoned to her. Tak returned the embrace.
Dib poured the contents of the wok onto three plates and put the used dishes in the dish washer. "So, what's the occasion?" Gaz asked as she took a bite and transported herself to nirvana. Tak took a bite and felt her mind go numb. She'd never had Asian cuisine before, nor did she know Dib could cook. The tangy, sweet, meaty and even a tiny bit spicy flavours rolled over her tongue and she was a bit saddened when the experience was over as she swallowed.
"Well, thanks to Larz, Zita and the other biologists, we've discovered a Mongolian Death Worm and a Werewolf!" Dib exclaimed in victory. There was an odd silence as Gaz and Tak stopped eating to take that in. They knew Dib and loved him in their individual ways, but even they had trouble seeing werewolves and Death worms being reality.
"Really?" Gaz asked. Dib nodded happily and began smiling a large, goofy smile. Tak was stunned but too entranced by the cuisine to be stunned for long. Dib smiled. "Enjoying the stir-fry, my love?" Dib asked, tapping his fingers on the table, his silver band sticking out from his slightly tanned hands. Dib had tanned. That was funny to Gaz, but she was too distracted by delicious food to snicker.
Tak nodded happily. "This stuff is amazing! I didn't know you were such a good cook!" She said, realizing then that her antennae were twitching happily and ecstatically. Embarrassed, she laid them flat against her head and continued to eat. "Oh, this?" Dib waved his hand in a gesture like it was nothing, "I just got good from having to cook when our food supplies were… inadequate."
"Inadequate?" Tak asked. "Sometimes Dad forgot we were children and sent us dog food so Dib made genius with leftovers. Sometimes he forgot us all together. Sometimes he just sent us the raw materials." Gaz explained, listing various occasions when the 'glorious' Professor Membrane forgot something as simple as his children's welfare.
"Well it's pretty good." Tak continued to praise the food and was disappointed to find she had eaten it all. Still, it was filling and the flavours filled her mouth for awhile afterwards. Gaz was laughing lightly as she ate slowly. "That happened my first time, too." She said, "You've got to eat it slowly and savour the flavours." Tak made a mental note of that.
Since Dib was in such a good mood and Tak had finished eating, Tak felt now would be a good time. "Dib, how do you feel about having a smeet?" She asked. Dib looked over his shoulder and smiled. "I'd love to if you'd love to." He said. Tak felt a moment of excitement but died it down with her next statement. "You know that humans and Irkens can't breed, though… so I'd need a donor…" She began.
"I hope Zim was who you had in mind." Dib said, his tone not shifting. Tak's antennae shot up in surprise. "Well, yes, but… Irkens cannot…" She began but Dib finished the sentence for her. "Cannot be artificially inseminated. I'm aware." He said, his tone still happy. Tak looked examined Dib with her purple orbs, trying to make sure it was actually Dib.
"Which means I'd have to mate with you best friend to produce smeets…" Tak finished. Dib finished eating, though there was still a generous portion of food on his plate so he poured it in halves on both Tak and Gaz's plates. "You sure?" Gaz asked. "I had a big dinner last night with the scientists." Dib explained.
He returned his attention to Tak. Tak squinted at him in an attempt to see through any hologram or ruse this might be. Nope, still Dib. "I'm alright with it. Zim and I've talked it over for years since you first mentioned wanting smeets." Dib explained. Tak buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. "Oh, don't overreact so much, Tak! You want kids, I want kids and Zim's willing to mate with you! I admit the idea took me some time to get used to, what with my best friend banging my wife, but I've gotten through the obvious dilemmas with such a concept." He ranted.
Tak looked up at him and smiled. She had ended up with probably one of the few men on the entire planet, nay, in the entire galaxy that would let her sleep with another man for children.
Gaz finished her dish and looked up at Dib who was collecting the dishes. "By the way, Zim needs a sample of your semen." Gaz stated nonchalantly. Dib quit smiling, the happy twinkle in his eyes fading as he dropped a plate in surprise. "What the hell for?" Dib demanded.
"To impregnate me so Zim and I can have kids?" She said it as if it were obvious, "Unless of course you wanted to do it the old fashioned way." Again, in that nonchalant tone. Dib fell into his chair, pale and greenish. Tak gave a concerned look at Dib and then glanced at Gaz who was smirking. Tak knew Gaz was serious, but at the same time she was enjoying tormenting her brother with the idea of near-incest. It was one of those games she played to hurt or shock her brother, and it worked.
"Gaz, I… that's disgusting!" Dib stuttered. Gaz unbuttoned the top of her blouse. "No, it'll be quick. We can do it right here if you want." She said in that same flat tone, smirking viciously at her perfect prank. Dib went from green to red as he blushed at Gaz's actions. He covered his eyes and turned away. "Gaz! What are you doing?" He asked. Dib covered his nose; it was bleeding.
Tak scowled. "You think she's attractive, don't you?" She asked with jealousy in her tone. "She's my damned sister!" Dib was stuttering, getting up. "I need a walk! I need fresh air! You two are freaking me out!" Dib said, grabbing a paper towel as he left. Tak growled as she heard the front door slam and Gaz began laughing hysterically at possibly her greatest prank ever.
"I can't believe you just tried to seduce your own brother!" Tak admitted. "He's more like an uncle than a brother." Gaz noted, wiping a tear from her eye. She buttoned her top back up. Tak continued to glare at her friend and Gaz smirked again. "You're not disgusted by my actions; you're jealous." She stated.
Tak began to stammer about how she was just reacting naturally to the disgusting display and to Gaz's inappropriate behaviour but Gaz continued to smirk, even opening an eye at her friend. Tak sat quietly for a moment, a large blush crawling up her face. Gaz won, as always.
"Look, if it helps I'd much rather refrain from sleeping with Dib. Like I said, he's more like an uncle. It was just fun to mess with his head like that." Gaz explained, the smirk fading. "How so?" Tak asked.
Gaz sat back and thought about it. "My brother has been taking care of me for longer than I care to remember. That puts him in a class above a mere brother. In truth, he never seemed like a brother. He was so different than me. He was outgoing, more social but still an outcast, and wanted to learn about the world while I saw that as pointless. He had inspiration where I found boredom. He created adventure. He's not just my brother; he's my caretaker and best friend. And I treat him terribly because it's humorous."
Tak took in what she said. "But you love him." She offered. "Some days; a few days I've been known to love him differently. You know, one day I see him as my stupid brother, the next day I see him as my friend and some I can talk to, and a few I see him as handsome teenager who likes to talk to me. Thank the gods I met Zim and Dib met you or who knows what would've happened between us being outcasts and locked up in a house to ourselves… I blame hormones." Gaz explained in such an unembarrassed tone that it surprised Tak.
"You don't seem too affected by this." Tak noted, referring to the fact Gaz was describing so many personal facts. "I trust you, Tak. I know you're not the kind of person to go spreading my secrets like some virus." Tak smiled genuinely at the sign of trust between the two. "To tell you the truth, I was jealous." Tak admitted. "I know." Gaz grinned. "If it makes you feel better, I would've let you join in." Gaz smirked at seeing Tak shut her eyes from images flowing into her mind. That was a little bizarre even for her experienced tastes.
Dib reappeared in the doorway after coming in from outside, glad to see Gaz had buttoned her shirt back up and Tak hadn't killed her out of jealousy. "So, let's go see Zim." Dib suggested.
…
"Zim will merely need a sample of your breeding goo to properly splice and create the perfect gene mixture for the Gaz-flower. I'm also going to mix some of my own DNA in the mix and add some of your DNA to my own breed-goo for Tak." Zim explained handing a large cup to Dib. Dib's eyes widened.
"I have to fill this whole thing up?" He asked in shock. Zim nodded. Tak felt nervous. "This feels wrong." She admitted. "Relax, Tak. Neither of us will enjoy this and it will be horribly awkward for both, so what's to be worried about?" Zim asked. Tak glared at him.
"If it helps, he's amazing in bed." Gaz stated. Dib immediately let out a groan of disgust and handed the cup back to Zim. "I can't do it with those images floating in my head! Thanks for them, Gaz!" Dib spat out in disgust. Gaz smirked. "Anytime." She replied.
"Oh, you will fill the glass with your genetic breed-goo, or so help me, Zim will track you down and rain doomed DOOM upon you! OF DOOM!" Zim seethed, shoving the glass into back into Dib's grasp. "Zim, this is really awkward…" Zim continued to glare at him. "Does Zim need to get one of the SIRs to help you?" Zim asked in a threatening manner. Dib went pale and turned towards the nearest bathroom. "I'll, er, get you a sample as quickly as possible… sick little thing…" Dib muttered the last part under his breath.
As soon as Dib left, Zim turned to Tak. "Alright, Tak. Let's get this over with so you might have your smeets and my beloved can have our worm-babies." He said after injecting himself with a sample of Dib's DNA.
Tak and Zim went into a breeding chamber, leaving Gaz alone with the two SIRs.
"This is going to be an awkward wait, isn't it?" Gaz asked herself out loud. "It sure will." Gir replied, smiling.
…
Dib and Zim were at the bar, drinking. Apparently neither of them had gotten over what had occurred a few days ago when they decided to essentially breed with each other's lovers to give them kids.
"I can't even look Gaz in the eye anymore because every time I see her I think I've… wronged her inappropriately." Dib said, drinking a third shot of whiskey. "Zim also feels regret over these actions, but we'll get over them when the smeets and worm-babies arrive. Then we have children, with our DNA…" Zim explained.
Dib shuddered. "Technically, we're the father of each other's children and our own children at the same time, so it's like we both mated with Tak and Gaz at the same time…" He said, so horrified with the concept that it didn't even show. It was the kind of horror that masked itself.
Zim shuddered heavily. "Let's just go to our homes and be reminded why we did what we did: for our beloveds." He said. Dib smiled as the horror faded. "That sounds pretty good, friend." He admitted.
The two left to be with their lovers and reminded of why they made the disturbing, questionable decisions they made. They had no idea of the dangers that were only a day away from their little planet.
Chapter 35 Completed, please R&R
I got the sexual tension and innuendo out of the way! A few chapters left and I think the story should be done :D