AN: Drunk Brynjolf is a funny Brynjolf. But I also decided to add Nelacar in, with his own reasons for well...I'm making certain suggestions with a different sort of head canon you know. And the site is giving me errors with uploading tonight. Ugh...BUT...enjoy!

Chapter 37

Stars

I'd woken up that morning, finding my head resting on a long pair of black leg like things. Turns out they were actually legs.

Petra's.

My head hurt slightly as I recalled what I was doing the night before. I'd spoken with the elf Nelacar. Altmer, wearing the usual blue robes one would find hanging around the College. Magic wasn't my thing, but as long as it worked, I didn't care how.

I bided my time waiting for Petra to get the information we needed in order to cure her vampirism. She was awfully bubbly about it though. Like she was looking forward to getting rid of it. I guess my speech got through to her. It gets hard sometimes to determine her trail of thought and what ultimately gives her certain conclusions.

I run my fingers on the bottle of mead before me, sitting inside this tavern with a ghost town forgotten by snow and time. It was cold. You'd think we want something warmer. To tell the truth we'd gotten here in a hurry and hadn't much time to rest. But Petra herself was wide awake without any sign of her being tired what so ever. Came with the curse it seemed.

She lead the show of course and I was only too happy to help. Only to not really consider too much about my own health, both mental and physical. I'm capable. I'm not that old. No, I might still have decades before thinking anything else in fact.

I lost the track of time as fatigue made me numb as I drank the mead. Nelacar came in and for what ever prompted him to sit next to me and have one too. I paid him no mind and it was nice to have conversation with someone and not be alone in the dark. He knew I had something on my mind. People had a lot of talent with doing that these days. Aye, and it was quick irritating how they always picked on the girl troubles. I still don't know how they automatically assume that.

Turns out Nelacar had a girl back in Morrowind many years ago. Killed by the Argonian ambushes. She was an Dunmer, surprisingly. So you had the light of the Altmer alongside him. Must have been one heck of a relationship. You'd have to have the same issues in order to remotely detect that any one else had the same problem. You had to experience it first hand.

"So, who's the girl then?" He asked me, giving me my what, third bottle of mead?

I popped open and took a huge scull and wiped my face with the back of my hand.

"Oh. She's an associate of mine. We're on a little adventure...you know, scouting ruins and caves and all that muck"

Nelacar smirked.

"That sounds fun. Romantic too. If you're into that sort of thing." He commented.

I shrugged.

"Her idea. I offered to help her out. As her colleague, we'd make a great team."

Nelacar rose an eyebrow and took a sip of his bottle.

"Ahh so you work together hmm? That's normally where it all starts. I might not look like it and not many people are aware of my own escapades not just here, but also in the Summetset Isles and Morrowind. I wooed the odd girl here and there, since my family were part of the Thalmor. I've no love for the group myself but we ended up very rich. So the girls just came to me." He spoke of, arrogantly. He took another sip straight after.

Sounded like another elf I knew in the Guild.

"So you left the Isles and found the perfect woman I presume?" I asked him. I still wanted to know an Altmer managed to marry a Dunmer. The races never really saw eye to eye.

"I studied enchantments greatly. I'd also had heard something called Azura's Star, a daedric artifact had found itself there. The Dunmer people worship Azura highly alongside the rest of their heathen rituals. I wasn't going to judge, really. My people are just prejudiced."

I chuckled. He wasn't wrong there.

"I found an Azura Priestess, the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Lucky I was on the other side of the province. My family would have killed me if they found out."

My family wouldn't give much if they saw me now. I'm pretty sure they're lingering around somewhere. Haven't seen them in years.

"But despite all my wealth the woman was never interested. So I went the hard yards into getting her to notice me instead of devoting all her time to the Daedric Prince."

Sometimes they got over the top. I keep forgetting our allegiance to Nocturnal sometimes, but at least that Daedra hardly cared for prayer and alms. We were lucky. Pun notwithstanding. But you tend to not realise that she's there, working in the shadows, aiding us with the Nightingales of the past. Or Karliah says so anyways. I'd ultimately find that just a tad creepy. I like being alone in my own pursuits.

"It took all my time and effort and I realised I was never going to win her by taking her away from what she loved so much. I stuck by her and, for a short time, became a Priest of Azura. Gods know how blind in love I was."

Amusing thought. Petra and I no doubt enjoyed what we do. So having something in common was a bonus. Maybe even one step ahead.

"So you're good at this stage. If you guys like what you're doing now, you have an understanding. So...that worked! She began to appreciate my sacrifice, but she was also pointing out by asking whether or not I was doing this to get into her pants."

I sculled the rest of the bottle. I think that was my fourth one finished. I couldn't even remember finishing the third.

"She was mistaken of course, I told her that I liked what she was doing. That I wanted to walk hand and hand and talk about stuff like magic and Azura. Besides her beauty, sometimes you just fall in love at first sight and don't even realise it. And you want an explanation as to why it even occurred. We're scholars! It's our job to find the answers. But like some questions, it's probably better that it didn't. Or maybe it did but you never go ahead and find out."

Petra was the same, I guess. Gorgeous girl just turns up in my life one day. Sounds like something in the story. It might just be true. Aye, no doubt in my mind tells me that I do love her, the problem being was telling her and if she was willing to partake in a relationship.

"Aye, this lass, she means a lot to me, but I fear rejection or bothering her. She's been going through rough times and she doesn't need that type of distraction." I explained. My eyes were getting blurrier by the moment.

Nelacar slapped me on the back. I think he was drunk already.

"So you don't even know if she likes you back? Hmm...that's the hard part. I let my future-wife at the time know constantly how I felt. But you never even hinted at it? Listen to me, my good Nord friend you need to tell her. Women like to be told."

I lifted my chin up, never realised how heavy it was until now, as my eyelids felt like they were being weighed down and party of who knows what going on inside my head.

"I've...I've tried telling her lad. It's harder than I thought it would be. Because with attempt I've tried it's never been the right time."

I subconsciously finished off the fifth bottle. I couldn't track down how large my sculls were or how long I was taking between drinks. The mead made the depressive state I was in a little more bearable, but I'd become rather emotional. Not really something I do often. He got himself and I another to swig.

"Never is. But you have to be persistent! Not overly pushy but willing to do what it takes. How close are you to her, anyway?" He wondered. Awfully inquisitive. I'd just say that's part of his nature as a scholar.

I looked down the neck of the bottle. I've tried that for other reasons bu...

"We..she's...I've..."

I couldn't categorised it properly without jotting down the amount of time we spent together already as colleagues and friends. But friends don't usually hug or sleep on the same bed together. I got a flashback to that day at Nightingale Hall. I felt a small jolt after I had quite the embarrassingly arousing dream I had about her. I don't look at that too fondly at all. But we've embraced with one another without too much of a hassle, but she let me in and was warmer to me as I was warmer to her.

Remember, I've flirted with various women...but as I said before, I've never been with any. Just...never had the time you know, with all the work the Guild had me hammering down on. I didn't want this to get too messy. I cared about Petra too much to get her mind racing on stuff that didn't matter, and would get her highly off focus to her real goals.

"So you're sure you're not on the journey to get with her?" Nelacar asked with an evil smirk on his face as he raised his bottle of mead at me. I glared at him.

"No! Or course not! Look, the whole situation is hard to explain. And even if I didn't love her, I would still help her out."

Nelacar's smile went wider. Why was I telling this to someone I'd just met? Most of the this was definitely the mead talking.

"How do you know that friend? Would you have just left her there on her own? On some mystical, maybe, journey for just work. Pretend she's me okay? If I was her and doing what you guys were doing now, would you still go?" He quizzed.

Not the sort of question I would ask under my sixth mead. Nor would I answer it sober.

"You have to look at our circumstances. I don't exactly trust you. I just met you lad. But, if you trusted me enough to handle what ever work required assistance then so be it."

He had a tankard of ale this time. I was just getting more blanked out...making anything else harder to recall.

"Am I me? Or am I her? Look at it differently. I am her. But you don't have feelings for me, obviously, and Gods forbid you do. You trust me. I am an ally. Would you still help out?"

I took another swig.

"Why wouldn't I? You would be part of what we are. You would have proven yourself to us and worthy of our help. It goes both ways.

Nelacar shrugged.

"Ah good. I was just testing. I was wrong. You're a good friend then. So I hope this girl of yours actually becomes yours in the end."

Shor knows what I would do if I did. I don't know how to enact of these things. Just makes me nervous and a little bit scared actually. Last thing I wanna do is hurt Petra. But I was going to tell her.

"I'm going to tell her." I said outright.

"I'll tell her, then I'm going to ask if I can kiss her."

Nelacar's eyebrows nearly bounced off his head.

"Woah there friend. That's a bit...off putting don't you think?"

Now onto my seventh mead. I honestly didn't know what was coming out of my mouth anymore. Head was burdened with garbled pangs, like what ever my thoughts were, failed to translate out of my mouth properly. Eyelids were getting heavier too. I looked down at my bottle again and laid my fist on table, still hunched over.

"Maybe you're right lad. But I won't know for sure unless I tell her. I could fit it into a conversation. Like be serious but make a joke out of it."

Nelacar rubbed his chin, then took a sip of his ale.

"Is this how Nords traditionally attract women? Never heard of that bizarre suggestion before. I thought you people were all Amulet's of Mara, less wooing and more about the lack of time you all have, then you pump out all these babies..."

I spat my drink. No, not that!

"I'm not marrying Petra." I told him. Just don't know what I was saying but I said it anyway.

He lowered his head and gave that mage studied stare at me. I hated it.

"But will you...and do you want to?" He questioned. Sounded like my father, actually.

I tensed my shoulders up at the very thought, then released with breathing out.

"I...I don't know. She's important to me but she's needed more out there."

Nela crossed his arms.

"So you're saying she's married to the job?"

I looked up with half lidded eyes and a half-dropped mouth.

"Uhh...maybe? She like's it well enough. She's one of the best." I stated proudly, though my tone and I inflection wavered with the influences in me.

Nelacar snorted.

"But you're close! I know you are I can see it. How you go on about her. How you help her. You two would be crazy not to get married. I don't know the girl myself but it's a shame she doesn't notice you. She must be something special indeed."

I drank half of the seventh mead then before I knew it, the eighth one was waiting for me. I can no longer vouch for my own words. But I made a lazy nod in agreement. He was right. Too right.

"My advice is give up the subtlety and just make with the proper flirting. You're skirting it around too much that she's probably gotten used to it that she makes it no different from your regular behaviour. That's if you are still unable to tell her of course."

I looked up at him, twirling my finger around the bottle head.. I wasn't up to my eighth just yet, but I was getting there.

"You think that'll work?" I questioned.

He shrugged.

"I don't know...that's just been my experience with women. They'll either read the signs or ignore them completely. Because she knows she's seeing the same thing over and over."

He had a point there, surprisingly. The lass and I were so comfortable with one another, that what we had between us appeared as normal without any higher implications. Friends don't cuddle like that or touch each other to wipe off our tears. People don't touch each other in general unless they're in love. We had a...special friendship.

Nelacar stood up from his bench and stretched his limbs.

"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I best be off to rest. You though...I wish you the best of luck. I hope to hear wedding bells in the near future."

I nodded in thanks as he headed off to bed in his room, while I brooded to contemplate his words.

Should I up my game a bit? I fear I've offended Petra. I know with all that occurred between her and Mercer wouldn't have left a pretty mark. I didn't want to treat her like I treated other women to use them. Only for work purposes of course. Mercer used to call me the red hunk because he felt that I was the most attractive man in the guild and that I should be it's mascot to get more female recruits.. Funny thought that, considering that he turned out to be a huge narcissist. But looking on it back more made for some disturbing revelations indeed.

At this stage I was deep in thought that I didn't notice Petra returning. My feelings were haywire and what I said what was just based off what Nelacar told me but written in mead for notes.

I flirted with her, which she didn't fall for. She must have seen the bottles of mead still left on the table and made the conclusion I was drunk. Smart lass.

I digress though. She'd let me try and kiss her at least, but never took my admission that I loved her seriously enough. The words were too casual and funny and knew instantly that everything I said probably wasn't true to her and that I was messed up.

Looking back now, I was.

Aye, then after I woke up that morning, after seeing the black legs I turned my head around to look up at Petra, her bony thin face smiling at me. Still didn't care what she was. My head was groggy, but otherwise I was fine. I grinned back. So tired that I wanted to snuggle into her lap and stay there. But I found the irony the best part. She wasn't exactly comforting me in the sense that I had absolutely huge issues to solve like her, but she was patient enough to wait for me. It wasn't necessary, she could have left me behind if she wanted to. But she was still there, sharp teeth glinting at me.

I was worried that she'd taken offence to what I said. But she was...loose and relaxed underneath me. I still wanted to kiss her, aye. But if she didn't want me to kiss her properly, you know, with all that, mouth mashing and tongue slashing business, until AFTER she was cured, that was fine. I was glad she wasn't entirely adverse to the idea. But powerful butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought. Whether or not she loved me back or was just being a really good friend wrenched me from within. Both just made my cheeks warm.

"Morning." She spoke, voice lively, and awfully cheery with the hint of a laugh in there somewhere.

"Morning lass." I replied solemnly. Any start to the day with seeing her face was bound to be good.

"Are you ready to go to Morthal? Or do you want to rest a bit more? I have time. But you know, you kind of don't. Look at me, I'm already abusing my immortality. How selfish of me."

I chuckled.

"No it's okay. I had a good night sleep. Especially with you here to warm me." I admitted, being a tiny bit forward.

I didn't know whether the mead was entirely out of my system or Nelacar's advice latching on to me. But Petra went red at the words. Just beautiful. But I was still rattled for more words.

"Umm...yeah. Of course I was...I especially liked the part with you mumbling in your sleep." She mentioned.

My heart sank again and I caught my breath. Dear Gods. I sat up from where I was, trying to make it less awkward than it already was and shuffled myself off the bed.

"Okay, the less said about that the better, I don't want your elbow near my gut again. That hurt for days...Shor the agony!" I complained.

She laughed.

"No it wasn't all bad. You were singing softly." She said with giggle.

Singing? I looked away, embarrassed. I knew there was a reason I didn't get drunk that often.

"I...oh...uhh..."

I stumbled for words but was at a total loss. Aye, this only happened after having one too many. Delvin told me so. Supported by Vex.

But all Petra was just...that endearing smile. She wasn't in pain anymore. Not that I knew of anyway. No one else has made me feel this way before.

"Now that's over with. Yes, let's get to Morthal as soon as we can."

I leant her my hand as I helped her off the bed. She had a twinkle in her eye. Mischievous even.

We'd left Winterhold with a new outlook with each other. Petra was surprisingly more happier, although maybe because she now had leverage against me and could use it. Great. My reputation couldn't stoop any lower. We'd got on our horses and made the long trek around the mountains, towards the west.
I know this sounds uncharacteristic of me. Let me tell you love makes you do crazy things. Nelacars story opened my eyes to all the noise that it was ringing in my ears with. But if my theory is correct, that once, I've...informed Petra, things would either sink or swim across in terms of, well, getting something off my chest and perhaps alleviating any tension. Uh...by that I mean I would probably go back to normal. Good, reliable Brynjolf. Master Thief and Entrepreneur. I laughed at the latter.

"That song..." She spoke, breaking the silence as we walked about the snow-beaten tracks, looking over the sea of Ghosts and in our Nightingale to beat the cold, hoods up and happy campers.

"You got that from a bard?"

I almost froze. Lucky kept dragging me along, thankfully enough.

"I've heard lot's of songs from those rich smug coin-wasters. Remind me...which one was I singing?" I told her. I mean, yeah they did have an easy life.

We walked alongside one another, as she looked away. I swore I heard a small laugh from her direction.

"You were singing a song about me..." She answered with a bit of a nervous tone in her voice.

I furrowed my brow.

"I was?" I questioned. Don't know any songs about her.

She laughed.

"Yeah...about a Dragonborn?" She reminded me.

By Shor. Oh no...fantastic...

"I heard it alright. People are praising you already with song lass. You're having an impact on these people and you don't know it."

She blushed and looked forward with a weak smile.

"It's nice...I'll admit. But can you do me a favour?"

Anything.

"Can you sing it again? For me? Uhh..it'll help the trip go faster."

I smiled back to her. How could I say no? It'll give her support and know that she's important after all. That people know what will happen and what is going to happen, eventually.

"Of course lass. Anything for you."

I wasn't the greatest of singers mind you. Bards aren't exactly favourable in my books. Often sleazy and outright boisterous and loud. But you had to admit that their songs were catchy and got into your head somehow. I think I heard it in a job in Solitude once... Yeah. I'd gone there while Petra was in hiding. Mostly to get in touch with our contacts there and such and such. So mostly work for the Guild. I stopped at the Winking Skeever to have a drink, in it's somewhat greenish tinted, warm lit and the smell of oil and imperial soldiers filled out the room... and one of the bards happened to open their mouth.

"Our hero, our hero, claims a warriors heart..."

The bard sung well...fortunately, I don't sing myself. I'm horrible at it.

"I tell you, I tell you the Dragonborns come..."

It helped remind me of the how crucial she was. For the future of this world to survive.

"Of a Voice-wielding Power! Of the Ancient Nord art..."

We're still thieves of course. We don't really care unless it starts affecting business.

"Believe, believe the Dragonborn comes..."

Petra was my responsibility. My heart couldn't bare it if she died out there.

"It's end to the evil, of all Skyrim's foes."

But we're both survivors ourselves and we work well as a team.

"Beware, beware the Dragonborn comes..."

I have to ensure that she lives though. She's a vampire now, but she's also a Nord.

"For the darkness has passed, and the legend yet grows."

While she may claim that Gods will have no use for her when she's done what she's needed to do. I thought otherwise.

"You'll know, you'll know the Dragonborns come..."

I smiled and felt a bit warm as Petra looked at me with her gorgeous face and made soft claps. Then I rubbed the back of my neck, being put to the nerves. I don't even like singing. But if it made her happy, then I was doing something right. Maybe it was out there with the more, notable areas of flirting. Even then, I would still fear her not receiving any signal. But I was going to go in with conviction and and strength in my heart. Or not...

"Ahh a little louder than when you sang it while you were sleeping, but less drunkeness and no snoring."

I glared at her, not harshly of course.

"Hey! I do not snore!" I protested.

She laughed. My knees were wobbly.

"What ever you say Bryn...what ever you say."

I shook my head. I looked at the opportunities here. Both of us were alone out here. You'd think now would be the best time to tell her. But I still couldn''t open my mouth outright and say it.

Even when I wanted started the conversation in a serious note, I felt ill in doing so. She made me all hot and flustered just imagining myself saying it. I mean, when I thought about it properly, if I told her now, she would most likely reject me and say don't bother, I'm a vampire, then I wouldn't trouble her about it. I can't force her. It's not in my nature to say. But if I said it after she'd been cured, she'd think I'd only love her if she was human. Which was a load of tripe.

It's hard to find the right moment to say it. A thousand different scenarios with a thousand outcomes each floated in my mind. It's not worth the fuss I say. I tried to think. I will find an answer somehow, to push myself to do it and just say the words.

Thank the Stars I might still be able to get a kiss though.