(( Hooray hooray for early morning uploads! :D And here we are with Chapter 36! :O My my, how far this fan fiction has gotten haha :D I'm glad people are enjoying it though ^^ Bahaha, I must say though, I feel accomplished :P The other day a friend of mine says she added my fan fic to her kobo ;) I feel honoured to have been kobo'd LOL!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the affiliated works. If I did, I assure you Snape would have had a massive groupie gathering following him down each corridor in Hogwarts ;) lol ))

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The food should have tasted amazing like it did every year, but alas, in her opinion it felt and tasted rather bland that night. They hadn't spoken since that slight argument in Spinner's End, Lilia and Snape. She would have continued her depressing thoughts if a certain red head hadn't come up to her with a grin.

"Hah, found you," Dawn chimed.

Lilia looked at her and nodded glumly, going back to picking at her food unenthusiastically.

Dawn noticed this and frowned. "What's wrong?"

Lilia shrugged and shook her head. "Nothing…"

Dawn frowned, reaching over and brushed back a few locks of her fine black hair. "Lilia, what's wrong?"

Lilia felt her eyes welling up and shook her head. "Nothing… I don't want to talk about it," she whispered.

"The very best of evenings to you all," Dumbledore said suddenly from his podium.

Dawn looked up at him and frowned, irritated by his very rude (if unknowing) interruption. She turned back to Lilia and put an arm around her, reaching up to gently wipe her tears away. "Lilia," she whispered. "What's wrong? You can tell me," she encouraged gently.

Lilia turned to look at her pitifully. "Not here…" she whispered.

Dawn looked at her and nodded, helping her up and walked with her to one of the nearby prefects.

"Lilia isn't feeling well right now. She really needs air. Can I accompany her outside to make sure she's alright?" Dawn asked with a firm enough voice to not be considered a push over by the upper year Slytherin.

The prefect took a look at her and then nodded. "Alright, but off to bed right after, alright?" he said strictly.

Dawn nodded, walking alongside Lilia towards the doors to the Great Hall just as Dumbledore continued his speech.

"First off, let me introduce the newest member of our staff, Horace Slughorn," Dumbledore said proudly, glancing over at his old friend.

Everyone clapped at the same time. Except Snape.

He frowned, watching as Lilia and Dawn left the hall, Lilia looking almost like she would be ill. He realized everyone was clapping and he looked at Slughorn, then began to clap, a frown settling in on his face deeper than usual. He didn't even know what was wrong, though he had an assumption seeing as they hadn't spoken for a few days now. The realization that he didn't really know what was bothering her so much made him very uncomfortable and irritated as he clapped.

"Professor Slughorn, I'm glad to say has agreed to resume his old post as potions master," Dumbledore continued, though neither Snape, who sat tenser than usual, Lilia or Dawn were really paying attention anymore.

Dawn walked outside with Lilia and looked at her, brushing her hair back and met her eyes seriously. "Lilia, what's wrong? I have never seen you cry, and quite frankly it's seriously freaking me out," she said, holding onto Lilia's arms and watching her best friend nervously.

Lilia met Dawn's eyes sadly and sighed shakily. "He… he loves someone else already…" she whimpered. "I know it's stupid, but I never ever thought he would, and it hurts because… the way he acts… now especially… I just feel like I can't compete with this other woman," she said.

Dawn looked at Lilia wide eyed. "What an arse!" she exclaimed, clearly furious that some boy, in her mind, would do something of the sort to someone as precious to her as Lilia. "I'll kill him, you have to tell me who it is now," she insisted.

Lilia shook her head. "No… you don't understand, it's more than just him having feelings for someone else," she whimpered. "The woman is dead as far as I know, but it… its like he's stuck, like he won't ever get over her," she whispered. "And it kills me because I hate myself for… for thinking I was really so important to him."

Dawn frowned. "Wait… this chick is dead?" she asked.

Lilia nodded. "I know… it seems stupid to worry about some other woman when she isn't even alive, and even if she was, he mentioned that she didn't even love him in the way he did her… but… I just feel like he's always been comparing me to her, and that I'm not good enough. And I feel like I never will be," she whispered.

Dawn looked at Lilia quietly and cupped her face, steadying her and looked at her very seriously. "Then you need to make him forget about that woman and make him realize you're far better than she could ever be. Because not only do you actually want to be with this mystery boy, you're actually alive," she smirked.

Lilia looked at her friend and sniffled, reaching up to wipe her eyes. "Yea…?"

Dawn nodded. "Yea. I mean heck, I've got one point already that makes you better than her, and I don't even know this girly" she smiled.

Lilia looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

Dawn grinned. "You don't feel like ice when he wants to have sex," she pointed out.

Lilia glowered at her and smacked her upside the head, earning a hysterical laugh from Dawn.

"Oh come on! It was funny!" she exclaimed in defence.

Lilia huffed, looking at Dawn.

Dawn stared back and then made a face, which made Lilia smile against her better will.

"Come on, let's get some sleep, it's late," she said. "Tomorrow, see if you can't talk some sense into that boy of yours," she smirked. "If you can't just come and get me, and I'll be more than glad to publicly castrate him with my foot," she said with an angelic smile.

Lilia almost laughed, following Dawn inside and to the Slytherin common room for the night, hoping some sleep would do her a bit of good.

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"Curious. Exactly what were your intentions when you told her about Lily?" he asked.

Severus glared at Dumbledore at the way he worded his question, refusing to answer it.

Dumbledore sighed. "I think, all you can do is apologize. If she still chooses to trust you, then she will take your apology and forget your rather… difficult ouburst. If not, well… I suppose you will have to work even harder to win her back again," he said.

"Win her back?" he asked and narrowed his eyes. "Lilia is no trophy that I intend to win. She's a human being," he said with an obviously irritated tone.

Dumbledore curiously looked at Severus over his half moon spectacles. "Tell me, Severus. Do you love her?"

Severus fell quiet and frowned, not comfortable answering the question.

Dumbledore patiently laced his fingers together, calmly awaiting his response to the question.

"Yes," he finally said.

Dumbledore raised a brow. "And you still love Lily, or rather her memory… at the same time…"

"Clearly," he muttered, obviously irritated with these pointless questions.

Dumbledore sighed and stood from his desk, looking at Severus. "You understand the seriousness of what you're asking me to do," he said calmly.

Severus nodded curtly. "Indeed…" he said.

Dumbledore nodded. "Very well," he said. "I'll speak to the girl," he said. "However, just because I tell her what she needs to know, does not guarantee that she will return entirely the same to you. What she knows up until now is a painful truth for anyone to have to know, even if you didn't reject her entirely," he said. "You must understand that," he said.

Severus nodded again. "Understood, headmaster."

"Very good," Dumbledore smiled slightly. "I will have her sent here first thing tomorrow after classes," he said.

Severus bowed and excused himself from the headmaster's office, feeling somewhat relieved. Lilia would be told a little more detail about the situation between them. He couldn't bring himself to talk to her at all let alone over this over the last week of classes since they'd begun, so he asked Dumbledore to merely explain to her what was what, hoping that she might forgive him for his brash outburst a little over a week ago and move on from the unfair news she now had learned about him.

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Lilia looked up at the imposing statue that stood before Dumbledore's office. She swallowed, wondering what she had been sent here for, stepping forward and uttering the password to get up to his office.

The staircase began to swirl up to the door hidden up a little higher in the tower, and she stepped up to the door, opening it quietly, looking around curiously. Her eyes settled on the sorting hat which she remembered being placed atop her head four years before. She had felt no thrill when placed into Slytherin. No excitement or relief either. The house she was put it hadn't mattered to her. She merely felt curiosity as to why her, a muggle born witch, would end up in Slytherin, a house practically teeming with pure blood witches and wizards. Like the Malfoy boy. The thought of him made her shudder softly.

"Cold, Miss. Gunner?" came a familiar voice behind her.

Lilia jumped slightly and spun around, looking up at the old face of her headmaster. "Er… no sir, sorry sir," she said.

Dumbledore chuckled softly. "No need to apologize, dear girl," he said and moved to stand near his desk, running a hand over the edge of it gently. "How was your first week of classes?" Dumbledore asked.

She blinked, looking to the side uncertainly and frowned a little. "Uh, fine sir. Slughorn seems to make for an interesting potions professor," she said.

Dumbledore nodded. "Marvellous man, that Slughorn," he said and looked at her. "How have you been settling in with Professor Snape at his abode during the summer? Has he been making appropriate accommodations for you?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I suppose so," she said.

He raised a brow. "You suppose so?"

She looked at him and reached up, brushing back some hair and sighed. "It's… not a living situation I'm used to," she said. "It isn't everyday a student is sent to live with their professor," she said.

Dumbledore nodded and chuckled. "I suppose the situation is just that much more odd when it is with Severus, correct? The man isn't known to be very open or conversational," he said with a mildly amused expression.

She nodded, looking down.

Dumbledore sighed. "I suppose you're wondering why I called you in here?"

She looked up at him and nodded quietly.

Dumbledore sighed. "It's actually in regards to Severus," he said, looking at the girl. Her lack of response urged him to continue. "Specifically, what he said to you about Lily Potter," he said.

Potter.

Lilia frowned and looked at Dumbledore. "Lily Potter? You mean she…"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes. The Lily Potter, Severus spoke to you of, was none other than Harry Potter's mother."

"But Severus hates Harry," she blurted.

Dumbledore chuckled. "That would be because Harry is the spitting image of his father… the very man Lily fell in love and married instead of Severus. Don't you agree that would lead you to hate a child if you were in Severus' place?" he asked.

She looked at him silently and then shrugged. "I suppose so…" she said. "But, what does that have to do with me?" she asked.

Dumbledore thought about how to phrase it so she didn't get the wrong idea. "Harry is the spitting image of his father, James, except for his eyes. They're green, like Lily's."

She looked at him and felt a chill go through her spine. "My eyes are green…"

Dumbledore nodded. "However, before you worry that you're eye color and name being similar to Lily's is something Snape uses to compare you to her… you must realize you are sorely mistaken," he said gently. "Severus never meant for you to feel that way. You see, what drew him to you, so he says, is nothing that made you similar to Lily. It was what made you different from her. You were quiet and deadened inside, someone so different from those he was used to, which drew him to you in the very beginning when he first saw you," he explained. "Lily was nothing like that. You see… even though in Severus' case when it comes to Lily Potter, opposites attract… but in your and Severus's case… similars stay together," he said with a reassuring gaze.

Lilia felt her heart warm at the thought. She only hoped she wouldn't start blushing in the presence of her headmaster. She was just confused as to why Dumbledore was saying all these things to her.

Dumbledore nodded and then continued. "Severus himself is confused by the attraction he feels for you. However, to delve very deep into that would be overstepping what he asked me to tell you," he explained.

"To tell me," Lilia said and glared. "Why can't he tell me himself if it's so important he has to come to you?" she asked.

Dumbledore inspected her curiously. "As you must have noticed by now, Miss. Gunner, is that Severus is extremely unaccustomed to showing remorse or guilt, affection or love. He is by far one of the most introverted individuals I've met outside yourself," he chuckled softly. "You see, to come to you and sit you down and tell you everything he feels right now and has felt up to this point would be something he is very much not used to, Miss. Gunner. And, because he requested my assistance with this small task, I agreed," he explained. "However, the similarities and the feelings Severus has for you and Lily are not the only reason he has reacted the way he did towards you over the last little while," he said.

Lilia looked at him silently, wondering what else he would tell her.

"As you know now, Severus was once and now has resumed his role as a Death Eater to Lord Voldemort," he said.

To this, Lilia nodded. "Yes, of course," she said.

He nodded. "Now, this is not news that needs to be shared with anyone outside the room, understood?" he asked.

She nodded firmly, having never held any intentions of revealing Severus' role to anyone.

Dumbledore seemed satisfied and continued. "You see… Severus is not a real Death Eater. At least… not in the sense that Voldemort believes him to be. His allegiances rely solely with Hogwarts. With me," he said. "Do you know what would lead him to switch sides?" he asked her.

She thought about it for a moment and then registered everything. "Voldemort killed Potter's mother… Lily Potter… Snape loved her… and Voldemort killed her so he rejected his faith to the Dark Lord, didn't he?" she asked.

Dumbledore nodded once. "Very good. Yes, that is the case."

She sighed. "Alright, but… why are you telling me all these things?" she asked.

"Because from what I hear, you were concerned that Severus no longer looked at you or spoke to you any longer because you were not wanted anymore. You must realise that to pretend to be only a professor to you, and a Death Eater in the fullest to Voldemort is a highly stressful exterior to maintain," he said calmly. "One that overpowers the need to show affection to you when it might only weaken Severus' resolve and focus on the tas he had been given.

Lilia looked at him and nodded, feeling her ears burning at the mention of having to pretend Severus was nothing but a professor to her. The realization that Dumbledore knew THAT much about them made her feel very odd in front of her headmaster. "Nothing gets by you, does it..?" she asked quietly.

Dumbledore chuckled. "No, my dear girl, I'm afraid as the headmaster of Hogwarts, I have to be fully aware of everything that happens within the school walls, even if not entirely important to the rest of the student body," he said. "However, there is more to Severus's stress than merely pretending to have his allegiance lie solely with Lord Voldemort. You see… Severus has made the Unbreakable Vow to protect Draco and do whatever task he has been given if he cannot carry it out." He was silent for a moment and then sighed. "There is no doubt in my mind that Lord Voldemort will seek to have Draco kill me somehow… and Severus knows that if this is the case, he may himself have to carry out the deed in order to fulfill the vow he made," he explained.

She swallowed, realizing the gravity of the situation Severus was in, suddenly feeling like a spoiled brat for having reacted the way she did to him at his home.

"So you understand everything so far, then?" Dumbledore asked.

She nodded. "Alright… so Severus isn't mad at me or sick of me… he's only stressed and feeling pressured… and… he doesn't compare me to Lily Potter either…" she said, looking at Dumbledore, wanting to make sure she got everything so far.

He nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"So… you're saying I should forget what he said and go back to the way things were before?" she asked.

Dumbledore shrugged. "That decision is entirely up to you, Miss. Gunner. You must realize that it will be difficult from now on for the two of you, and it will be difficult for Severus to convey properly to you how important I believe you are to him, but, as for deciding if you will remain with him, well… that is your choice, not mine to make," he said calmly.

She looked at him and nodded. "Alright… I'll think about it," she said. "I can certainly say I'm not feeling ready to go running into his arms, that's for sure," she said, slightly irritated and still rather hurt by the thought of Lily Potter being the one who had taken and still held Severus's heart.

"Do you love him?" Dumbledore asked her suddenly.

She looked at him in surprise and bristled slightly, like a cat being faced with something it hated. The idea of love. It had always been hard for her to feel any emotion for anyone. Let alone love them. But then Severus had entered her life in a most unexpected way.

She had felt all sorts of emotions for him. Irritation, longing, jealousy, heartbreak, agony, happiness, sadness… love. She swallowed and looked at Dumbledore uncomfortably.

He raised his hand. "I think, if you know the answer yourself, that is enough," he assured her and smiled. "Alas, I think that is all I need to tell you for the time being," he said.

She nodded.

He then remembered something and motioned for her to come closer. "I almost forgot. Although our conversation is finished, there is something I need to do for you," he said.

She looked at him curiously and stood in front of his desk. "Sorry?" she asked.

He smiled, producing his wand. "Your wand. Let me see it," he requested.

Lilia looked at him curiously, but reached in to get it, remembering it had been broken in half by her abusive father. "It's broken," she said and held it out to him.

He nodded and picked up the two pieces, putting them together carefully and then lay the broken wand upon his desk.

Looking at it lying there so pitifully she remembered how embarrassing it had been to sit out incantations and spell castings in class until it was repaired or replaced. She looked at Dumbledore wearily, not thrilled about showing it to a wizard of his standing. She was about to say it couldn't be repaired even by him and was about to reach for it when he ran his wand just barely over it.

She watched, her eyes widening as it began to repair itself right before her eyes. It was strange how watching it repair, it felt like something was repairing itself inside her as well.

When it was done, she took a step back and clutched a hand to her chest, her eyes still wide in shock and awe. "Merlin's beard…" she whispered. Perhaps Dumbledore was far more powerful than people actually thought he was.

Dumbledore chuckled softly. "Yes, well… it has come to my attention that Mr. Potter's tale is not the only one being told at this moment," he said, picking up her wand, inspecting it and then held it out to her. "I shall wait with curiosity to see how this one plays out," he said thoughtfully.

She looked up at him and stepped back towards him, accepting her wand and cradling it in her hand delicately, afraid it might break by her very touch all of a sudden.

He nodded. "Well, with that, I bid you goodnight, Miss. Gunner. The best of luck on your future decisions," he said.

She nodded slowly, looking at her headmaster, then moved to exit the office, going through the door and proceeded down the stairs quietly.

Stepping out, she jumped when she nearly ran right into Harry Potter himself. She looked up at him in surprise, her green eyes meeting his own of the same shade. "Oh… sorry," she apologized.

"No problem," he said and smiled at her awkwardly, clearly remembering her from the train ride and how awkward and unsociable she had reacted towards him and his friends.

She bit her lip and stepped back onto the step to get out of his way.

He grinned. "I need to get through there," he said.

"Oh, Professor Dumbledore asked for you?" she asked him, stepping down.

He nodded. "You?"

She nodded.

He nodded as well. "I see… hope he wasn't giving you any trouble," he said.

She shook her head. "Not at all… just… a lecture of sorts," she said.

He smiled. "Yea, he's good at those. Great man, Dumbledore."

She shrugged, supposing he was alright after he had taken the time to fix her wand.

"Well, see you later," he said, looking at her and moved up onto the stair, giving her a slight wave when he headed up.

She waved back and turned to go to the Slytherin common room, wanting to catch up with Dawn before heading to the Great Hall for dinner.

Somehow, after learning a little more how Snape felt for her and what he had been through, let alone was going through now, she felt a bit better. It felt like a bit of a weight had been taken off her heart, though she didn't know if she could just go right to him and say she was alright with how he felt for Lily and then her. It was difficult now, and would be, no doubt onwards from tonight. Was she willing to work through it? She wasn't sure. She needed time before making such an enormous and important decision.

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(( Woo! Chapter 36! :D I hope you all liked it :D It was a bit rough to get through xD So I hope I did a decent job on this one J Either way, lemme know what you all thought :D Review review review please! ^_^ Anyways, off to read now xD Later!

ALSO, I would like to add that whole quote Opposites attract but similars stay together is not mine xD Unfortunately I can't come up with something so brilliant lol, it's actually based off a line from a novel called Rainbow Road about homosexuality :P With I found ironic and quirky to get Dumbledore to say... for obvious reasons ;) LOL I hope anyone who recognized it was like "haha! nice" xD Anyways :D Hope you all enjoyed it ^_^ ))