- XXXVII -

Temari looked down at the scroll spread on her desk, but instead of written text she saw a flash of Shikamaru under her, and something sharp pierced her inside her pelvis. She suppressed a small, satisfied smile, and lifted up her professional, serious face to a man representing Suna's security division.

"Thank you, everything's clear."

A man lingered for a second.

"Temari-san, but how about the eastern gates situation?"

What situation?

She stared at the scroll again while the man updated her. "One of the guards quit and we were not able to find a replacement; as of now there are no available men who can cover the watch."

"Oh, that. I'll appoint someone from the Kazekage mansion's security right away, and I expect Security division to find and instruct the replacement as soon as possible."

"Very well. Thank you, Temari-san."

"Thank you, Oboi-san."

She glanced at the scroll again. Underlined clearly was a message for her attention about the lack of personnel guarding the mentioned gates. How did I miss this?

She sighed and leaned into a chair, her head naturally turning towards the window and eyes grazing the sky, cloudless and bright. She sighed. He was in every detail, and she was more than pissed.

Temari stepped outside her workroom and to the small kitchen to get herself some coffee where she ran into Gaara, who was perhaps the heaviest caffeine addict in the building, so she wasn't particularly surprised to see him there.

"Hey."

"Hi. Have you finished the summary of collaboration? Our colleagues from 2nd floor are bugging me about it, so I promised to give it to them today." Temari stared at her little brother silently, and thus he spoke again. "Sorry, knowing you you probably finished it way earlier. Didn't mean to offend you."

Temari blinked. What the fuck? Shit.

"Uhh, actually it's not ready yet. I got distracted, but I'll finish it within an hour." Finish... I'd have to begin it in the first place!

Gaara's eyes ever so slightly narrowed, so subtly most would have never even noticed. But just like she was able to see his signals, Gaara wasn't lagging either in this and she knew it, so as soon as her coffee was ready she snached the cup and hid behind her office doors. She had some serious work to do, after all.

Finally, after her work day was over she stepped outside into the street and took a deep, relief-filled breath. Not because her work was over, but because from this point there was a smaller chance she would fuck something up again.

It has been less than a week since Shikamaru left, and there hasn't been a day she felt like herself. Her body belonged to her, but not her mind - definitely not her thoughts. They circled and spun around one certain someone, and she already admitted she couldn't do anything about it. Thus she just waited for this fever to pass. Waited impatiently, annoyed and irritated.

Even her apartment now reminded her of him, she remembered where he sat, stood or laid. The cup he drank from, the towel she gave him, the side of bed he slept on. She could still feel the faint smell of his perfume on the sheets of her bed, and that was enough to send another sting through her insides.

She stopped being surprised though, just like she stopped fighting what has been happening to her. She observed and obeyed, and waited until she would come back to her senses from this mind sweeping experience she had with him. And yet day after day passed, but she saw no improvement; she couldn't throw him out of her head. The thoughts that mostly came at night, the memory of his skin against her was something she accepted gladly. However other kind of thoughts irked her mind in not so pleasurable manner.

She needed him. She wanted him to be here. Temari scoffed at her indecisiveness - less than a week ago she tried to kick him out, and now she wanted him here, with her. And not only because of and for the sex - though one of the major reasons surely - but also because since he left she felt a little lonely. She let him inside, up to some point, and now that he was gone, she clearly felt the lack of him. The eyes that seemed probing then seemed understanding now. They way he observed and analyzed was nothing but an indication of how close they already were.

Everything changed and turned around. And if not his persistence, that quite frankly surprised her, things wouldn't be the same.

And she was pissed because of all this, because of the way she felt, because he made her feel this way, because he was gone now and she missed him like...

I'm so stupid.

Temari felt so tired of all of this, and mostly of the denial, the trying to ignore what she feels she needs, she just wanted to give up and make that feeling go away. Never before she had tortured herself so badly, and now it was so unbearable she had to stop doing that; except she didn't know how.

The next morning Gaara came in her work room with a bunch of papers in his hands. She greeted him as always, but somehow didn't find it suspicious he came to her - what he rarely does as being Kazekage is a synonym for being the busiest person on the village. But what caught her eyes was the papers - she recognised them from yesterday; her report. One look into her brother's face and as absent minded as she was these days, she figured one thing for sure.

Smells like intervention.

"I know, Gaara, I know. Sorry. Give me that, I'll check them."

Kazekage simply shook his head, and waved the papers away from her reaching hand.

"You need a vacation."

"No I don't." She cut.

"That's not an offer. You hadn't have any rest since the camp." He so tactfully left out the notion of how badly she was working these days.

Stubbornness of knowing what is best for her kicked in instantly. "I refuse." She turned on her heel and sat back by her desk, crossing his arms on her chest. Work has been keeping her sane from distractions like break up with Hayato. Now it will have to pull off her mind away from Nara.

"Why?" He sounded genuinely worried, and as she looked upon his face, normally emotionless and cold, there it was - that slight crease between his eyebrows. Unbelievable. She has her little brother worrying about her.

"I don't need it."

A pause followed while the two eyed each other from across the room. And since Temari wasn't planning on giving in, Gaara cut the discussion off. "That's an order."

The coldness of his voice echoed in her mind for a few seconds before she pointed her angry eyes back at him. They both knew that she technically had no choice but to obey; what pissed her off the most was someone else making a decision for her.

"I have no idea what would I do with my free time."

Gaara hid a small smile, but she picked it up. "And here I thought you didn't like the office work and prefered missions and travelling."

"I do. So?"

"Travel somewhere." He smiled again, and the anger melted a little. She knew, never stopped knowing her brother means her only good. "Konoha, perhaps?"

Now his words poured over her like a hot water bucket, coloring her cheeks red. Maintaining her best poker face she asked the wall in front of her: "What business do I have in Konoha." Except the question sounded kind of rhetoric. No surprise Gaara didn't answer. She glanced at him one more time to see him smile slightly - not slyly, mockingly or wicked in any way - it was a small, simple, sincere smile. It was all it took for Temari to realise that both of her brothers knew.

And neither looked surprised.

The very first thing Temari did when she stepped into Konoha was knock at Ino's doors. Going directly to him would be desperate.

"Oh. My. God. Why are you here and I had no idea you're coming?"

"Spontaneous decision."

"Oh-kay, spontaneous. Uhuh." The blond hugged her, chuckling. "Come on in, want some tea?"

"Sure." Temari smiled, and prepared herself for several hours of chatter about every little aspect of her and Sai's relationship. It was interrupted by Ino's attempts to find out something about Shikamaru and her, but Temari did her best to avoid the subject. She didn't have any straight answers to her own questions, let alone someone else's. But one question got her.

"So, what did Shikamaru say when he saw you arrive?"

"He didn't see me yet."

"What?"

"I decided to visit you before meeting him, so he doesn't know anything yet."

Ino stared at Temari dumbfounded, and she could see many emotions evident on her face, but in the end Ino handled herself and asked calmly. "Don't you think you are being a little childish?"

Temari blinked. "Why do you say so?"

"I'm not sure what are you trying to prove here."

"Nothing. I just decided to visit you before going to him."

"Why?"

"No reason."

"No reason or you didn't want him to feel privileged or something?"

"What?" Temari furrowed her eyebrows. "No!" She felt herself falling on the defensive side. "I didn't..."

"Temari..." Ino wouldn't let her finish. "If you are together, you do not have to compete any more."

She took a deep breath in and out, and said nothing. Ino was right, her words echoing clearly the topic of the last conversation with Shikamaru. However well she knew how to handle every aspect of her life, relationships wasn't a part of that. She had to do something about it.

"You're right." She sighed, leaning into the chair, closing her eyes and attempting to make a kind of a mental restart - the kind you do when you suddenly realise you made a mistake in your thought process. "I'm being stupid." Again.

"You are." Ino agreed, and Temari couldn't stop herself from flashing an angry look, resulting in her friends laugh. "Now that we agree on something, I'm kicking you out of my house because you need to visit someone and also because Sai is coming over. And probably staying over."

Temari's eyebrow cocked up. "Someone's getting laid tonight, huuuh?"

"You're the one to talk!"

With laughs and uplifted moods they said their goodbyes, agreeing to meet again tomorrow, and Temari finally turned towards her path of decision - a street leading to his apartment. As she put her feet in front of the other, more and more she wanted to believe - she believed - that this might be the right call, the right move and most importantly - the right choice.

She knocked the door gently with her knuckles, hoping he would be home.

After a short while the doors opened. The slight widening of his eyes, the small smirk and that almost successfully hidden deep breath of his was all it took for her to feel truly happy.

Temari smiled.

Another chapter, hey, I'm proud of myself for being this fast!

Please tell me what you think, though now as it is relatively calm there isn't much to think. Is there?

As always,

Love,

Cafe.