Hey everyone, first thank you for your reviews. Now here's the new chapter.
Enjoy,
So ;)
Ps: Immi, thanks to keep me company in the town :P
Freedie, thanks for helping me out. ;)
Chapter 35
Sara's POV
I decide to get out of bed, not having slept much; Catherine is turned on her side, still breathing evenly. I grab some clothes and leave her room quietly to go through my morning routine calmly; once I'm showered I go to the kitchen, I decide to wait for either Linds or Cath to be up as well before preparing breakfast. I go to my backpack and retrieve the book I was reading, sit on the couch and just enjoy the story of Scout Finch once again – though I know it by heart.
Several pages later I hear the door of the master bedroom being worked on its hinges. I stand from the couch, put my book in its resting place and go to the kitchen. I start looking through the cupboards to see what I could prepare for breakfast.
I'm still rummaging around when Cath walks into the kitchen. She wraps her arms around my waist and lays her head against my back with a contented sigh.
"Hey," she whispers with a raucous voice.
I smile. "Hey you," she squeezes me and one of her hands idly caresses my stomach. I turn around without breaking the contact, I enlace her as well. "Did you sleep well?" she hums with a grin.
"I notice that you don't sleep much lately," she states.
"I'm not a big sleeper, you know that."
She pouts a bit. "Does it mean I'll never wake up with you by my side?"
"I didn't say that," I smirk.
She scrutinizes me for a moment. "Short sleep is the only thing keeping you away from the bed, right?" she asks seriously.
"Well…"
"If your next sentence is a mix with the words 'snoring and drooling', I'll be really mad, and you don't want me to be grouchy just yet," she warns me with a big frown.
I purse my lips not to laugh and reply with a straight face. "Short sleep is the only reason."
"Good answer."
"I thought so," I chuckle, she rolls her eyes and laughs nimbly with me. I brush a hand against her cheek then lean in and rest my lips on hers.
I have an addiction to her lips. I know it's funny, since we've kissed many times before – the times where we were casually being physical, but the thing is that what I called kisses before were nothing more than passionate lip locks; now, when we were on the car, that was a kiss. And that kiss made an addict out of me.
It doesn't matter how many times I kiss her, it always feels different and makes my pulse race. The good side is that apparently I'm not the only one with an addiction, I intended just to kiss Cath hello, but she's all the sudden more demanding – I am certainly not complaining.
I bring her as close to me as possible, feeling high and slowly drowning in rapturous delight as our kiss deepens. The dizziness makes us sway a little, we move until I have my back against something solid, then I can disconnect my brain for good and just enjoy my feelings.
It takes me a little time to register an alien sound; it's not our breathings, or the sounds of my hands brushing her skin, or my mouth on hers…
"Ladies!"
Cath and I break our kiss and look at each other with a frown then understand what just happened. Behind Catherine, a dishevelled Lindsey is staring at us impassively; her eyes are still puffy with sleep and she's obviously not completely awake; who knows how long she's been there.
"I am really sorry to burst that lovely bubble of yours, but if I don't get my milk fix within the next two minutes I'll be in a murderous mood all day," she states.
Cath and I are staring at her still trying to process what just happened.
"You're blocking the fridge," she adds with an edge of exasperation in her voice when neither of us is reacting.
Catherine disentangles herself from our embrace and walks away from me; she's a bit unsteady on her feet and looks mortified. I move away from the fridge, and Linds simply walks to it, opens it and retrieves the jug of milk, then she grabs her bowl, her cereals and sits at the table as if nothing was unusual. She puts her right elbow on the table rests her head against her hand as if it was too heavy to bear; with her other hand she's holding her spoon in her fist like a kid.
Catherine is staring ahead of her with a panicked expression, then she focuses again and comes to lean against the counter next to me, but not touching me.
"Linds… sweetie…" she starts with a nervous voice, she takes a shaky breath.
"Yeah, yeah, she wasn't checking your tonsils for medical purposes," Linds replies flatly with her raspy voice; making a brushing motion in the air with her right hand before leaning her head on it again, never leaving her bowl of cereals. "You're together, I got it… now breakfast time, silent time," she looks at her mother "Thank you," then she returns to her cereals. Lindsey is really not a morning person; in fact if I should describe it, I'd say she's grumpier than an angry bear.
Catherine's panic seems adamant on not leaving her face, I reach out, grab her hand, bring it to my lips and kiss her knuckles gently. She finally looks at me, she smiles a little, squeezes my hand then she goes to the living room and sits on the couch.
I decide to give her some time to handle things on her own, I don't suppose that being 'caught' by her daughter was on her 'must have moments' list, I can understand her embarrassment. On the plus side though, to me it looks like Lindsey is taking it rather well.
Catherine overcomes her predicament and joins us for breakfast. We share a silent meal and Cath all but runs off to her shower when she's done, leaving me and Linds in the kitchen. As soon as we're alone, Linds puts her spoon away and stares at me with an emotionless face but a steel gaze, letting her 'sleepy' mask from moments ago slip away, she is very awake.
"How long has it been going on?" Linds asks me once she's hearing water running.
"About three weeks and half," I simply answer. She nods, never leaving my eyes. "How long have you known?" I return her question. Linds is quiet, tough and very observant, so I have no doubt that she has known that Cath and I were together for a moment, at the very least had strong suspicions about it.
"Two," she says without flinching. "Good to know I'm not that far behind."
She takes a sip of her orange juice and stares at me again. "I really value your friendship and I care about you. You have my respect and trust, two things not many people have," she starts, her voice is firm and raw with honesty. "Now, the rules don't change," her expression hardens. "You hurt her, make her cry, treat her bad, act wrong with her; I'll never bother hearing your excuses," she marks a pause. "I'll carve your heart out with a spoon, without so much of a blink," she threats me seriously with a sharp and frosty tone, never blinking.
Her cold stare sends chills to my spine; I've seen her upset, but she never really pulled out her claws at me, until now that is. She was a teenager a moment ago, now for all I know she could be a stone cold killer.
"I have no…"
"… intentions to hurt her," she cuts me bluntly. "They never do," she smirks bitterly. "Just make sure to be the one to actually stick to those intentions… or lack thereof," she adds. She stares at me and wait for my nod of understanding before standing up, cleaning her bowl and spoon, putting her cereals away; then she walks out of the kitchen, back to her room.
Okay, message copied loud and clear.
xxxxx
I rap my knuckles gently on Cath's bedroom door, then pop my head through the small space to see if I can come in. She grins at me shyly, so I take it as an invitation. She's sitting on her bed, rubbing her hands together in a strange pattern. I sit next to her and wait.
She glances at me briefly before contemplating her hands again. "I'm sorry about earlier… for being distant…" she starts. "Lindsey… it's not really how I envisioned telling her… about us…" she continues. "To have her catching us… like that…"
"Was embarrassing?"
"Beyond mortifying," she snorts. She finally stops rubbing her hands together and turns to me. "I'm not ashamed or anything… it was just… I just wish she had learnt about us differently."
"Cath, I understand don't worry," I smile at her. "On the plus side, she took it well."
"I'm not sure about it."
"She did," on the other hand it's not exactly like it was news to her.
Cath nods with a sigh. "We're okay?" she asks me with uncertainty.
"Of course we are," I hook a finger under her chin and deliver a butterfly kiss on her lips. I stand and exit the room feeling that she still needs a little time for herself.
Linds is in the living room reading a book, she looks up when she hears my footsteps then return to her pages. I grab my own book and sit next to her.
"I received an email from Hazy, she said she might come around again soon," she tells me without interrupting her reading.
"Yeah … next month," I nod not looking at her either.
"I hope she'll stay long enough for me to get a chance to hang out with her. The last time she came you guys went on a trips with Greg and his siblings, then she was gone already."
"She wants to stay three weeks, so yeah, you'll have time to see her."
"Cool. You think we can go hang out with Brenda as well?"
"Sure."
"That's settled then."
I smile, and can only guess that she's grinning too, neither of us ever stray our gazes away from our books. Like I said to Cath, Linds took it very well.
xxxxx
"Mom, can I go with Sara to the airport?" Linds asks as I'm getting ready to go pick up my sister.
"Sure thing, sweetie," Cath replies from the couch, she's lying down on it reading.
I walk to Cath and waits for her to look at me before speaking. "You're sure you don't want to come?"
"No, I'm good," she grins.
"Alright, I'll call you later then," I start to walk away. Faster than lightening, her closest hand grabs one of tail of my vest.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" she raises her eyebrow with a smirk.
"Hmm… I got my keys, my wallet…" I touch my pockets as I speak. I know what she means but I pretend not to. "No, I got everything."
She narrows her eyes at me, pursing her lips with false irritation. I snort and bend down, I give her a sweet, languid kiss; she brings a hand on my cheek, loses her fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp; she moans a bit when our tongues touch, then she sucks my bottom lip a bit before deepening the kiss again.
Linds coughs rather loudly. "We uh… actually have a flight to catch," she says with a jaded tone.
I break the kiss a first time, but can't help myself and I capture Cath's lips one more time. Then I pull back and kiss her forehead before straightening myself up. She grabs my hand as I walk away and lets the contact linger as much as possible.
I ignore Linds who's rolling her eyes and exit the house. I climb inside my car and wait for Linds to have locked the door behind her. She gets in the car and buckles her belt, she turns to me raising her eyebrow in exasperation.
"Really?"
"What?" I frown puzzled.
"You'd think you were going to be apart for months," she states.
"Hey, I'm staying at my place today."
"Oh, poor thing," she feigns pity, narrowing her eyes for a better effect.
I snort and shake my head. After being caught by Linds three weeks ago, things were a bit awkward between Cath and I mostly because she was still embarrassed about it. Eventually she started to relax and things returned to normal. We're not always kissing one another, but she doesn't mind when we do and Linds happens to be there. I personally take it as a good sign.
"Just remember that karma is a wicked woman, Cookie," I chuckle.
"Right, whatever… just drive," she snorts.
xxxxx
"They're downstairs… we need to find a way to get the room with the plug," Greg states.
"We're trapped, there's no way we can get there without facing them," Hazy points out.
"No, no, there's a way, we go through the window, get on the roof and then move around," I declare.
We're playing a game with Greg's brothers and Dana on one side, and the rest of my brothers minus Charlie on the other. We've been playing in teams almost all afternoon. So far my brothers are winning by one point and Greg's brothers are just two points behind; and we are… eight points behind the last team, yes we are losing; but we're having fun.
My door bell rings, I groan, knowing that I have to give up my game.
"This better be good," I mumble.
"Bee, we're leaving you behind," Hazy informs me.
"Yeah, yeah don't worry."
I put my controller on the table, stand on the couch and get behind it without disturbing Greg and Hazy. I wonder who could it be, I'm off – Grissom knows that unless the apocalypse is going on he must not call me; we haven't ordered food; and the persons susceptible to come around are actually playing with us.
I look through the peephole and my frustration immediately dissipates. I open the door with a smile; Catherine is standing in front of me, her left hand playing with her keys, looking nervous and shy. My heart races a bit, I haven't seen her since Hazy arrived three days ago.
"Hey," she breathes out.
"Hey there," I beam and move aside so she can come in; I lean in and kiss her lips tenderly.
"I hope I'm not bothering," she plucks her lips.
"No, never," I frown at her question. I know we are at the beginning of our relationship, but it feels like she had the impression to always 'impose' herself. I find her shyness adorable though sometimes unsettling.
I grab her hand, still amazed at the blossoming sensation it creates inside my chest. I lead her to the kitchen side.
"Go left, left, left!" Hazy exclaims.
"I'm stuck!"
Catherine is a bit startled at their voices. "We're playing online, my brothers are kicking our asses, well Greg's too mind you…" I chuckle.
Cath shakes her head. "Hey guys."
Both heads turn to us quickly before returning to the screen "Hey, Cath," they both mumble, too engross in their game.
"The building could be set on fire for all they care at the moment," I state with a playful wince.
Cath laughs, getting more and more relaxed. "Do you want to go to the bedroom?" I ask her.
"No, I'm good here."
"Okay, can I offer you anything to drink?"
"No thanks."
I nod and grab myself a bottle of water. We're standing in each side of the counter, looking at each other. "How was your week end?" she asks.
"Good, we didn't do much; talked a lot, went out a bit, played," I shrug. "What about yours?"
"I had dinner at Nance's, Julianne cooked…" she obviously tries to hold a laugh.
"Was it bad?"
"Linds' cooking is bad," she specifies. "That was something else."
"No way," I chortle.
"I swear, maybe she's been distracted… I don't know, it was an admirable effort, but we had to order to actually eat."
"She never cooked for you before?"
"No, but now I know why," she giggles.
"Yeah."
"Oh come on!" Greg shouts. "I don't have any ammo, I'm going back."
"Don't you leave me here!" Hazy replies.
"I need ammo…"
"I'm not going to make it alone!"
There's a series of grumps and their thumbs push the buttons more fervently.
"What are they fighting against?" Cath queries.
"Zombies… and other survivors – the other teams."
"Sounds fun," she smirks.
I put my hand on hers and start to let my fingertips wander on her skin slowly with a very light touch.
"So… what brought you here?" I ask.
"Hum…" her voice is shaky and I frown, until I realise that she's staying very still and that her breathing has increased pace.
Oh, I did that…
She pulls her hand away from my touch and shakes her head a little. "It's…" she bites her bottom lips and rubs her forehead a bit. "It's silly…"
"What?" I grin.
"It's… I thought, I'd come to say hey, before going to work… you know… since we haven't seen each other this week end…"
I smile, really touched by her attention. "Like I said… silly…" she shakes her head apparently upset.
"Why?"
"Because…" she sighs heavily. "Look at me… I'm like a teenager…didn't see you this week end and I'm acting like it's been months…"she groans and puts a hand over her eye. "…and digging a deeper hole…" this time she looks a bit angry. "It's… just…"
"Silly…" I finish.
"Yeah…" she takes a deep breath and lets it out. Her eyes meet mine and I can see embarrassment in her blue orbs, something I can't really understand. She pouts a bit, then runs a finger on my knuckles. "You make me do silly things Sidle…"
"And that's… bad?" I query hesitantly.
"No… just…" she trails off.
"I'm glad you're here, it's a pleasant surprise," I tell her after a few seconds while cupping one of her cheeks. She closes her eyes briefly at the touch; I smile at her with affection then start to lean in, attracted by her lips. I'm barely brushing my goal…
"Argh! We're dead, we're dead, we're dead!" Hazy growls.
Her voice breaks the moment and I just rest my forehead against Cath's, running my thumb on her lips.
"We were so close!"
I was so close…
I snort with amusement. "I'm sorry about that."
"It's okay… I should go anyway," she kisses my cheek before stepping away. "I'm leaving, bye!" she speaks louder to Greg and Hazy, who just mumbles their goodbye, already caught up in the new game.
Cath rolls her eyes and smirks. I walk her to the door. Just before she grabs the knob, I take hold of her elbow and gently turn her around, cup her cheek in a swift movement and make her lips prisoner of mine. I push her against the wall, softening the shock with my stretched arm; once her back is against the hard surface, I double the intensity of my kiss, not merely getting enough; yearning to feel her tongue tease mine, taste her lips and have her moans reverberating in me. I hold her as close to me as possible, yet I can feel myself wanting more contact. My head is spinning, my heart hammering strongly against my ribcage as if it wasn't big enough to contain it; the hand I have on her waist dares to slip down on her thigh; I lift her a bit and push her further against the wall, making the entanglement of our legs more electrifying, she grips me so hard that I can feel her nails through the fabric of my shirt; her moans give me shivers and I just want to double that very sensation.
"Get a room!" Hazy shouts from the living room.
I break the kiss, out of breath and a bit disoriented; my forehead connected with Cath's. "I'm going to kill them," I state in between breaths. I look at Cath and her eyes are unfocused, her lips are swollen from the kiss and blush is on her cheeks. I push a golden lock behind her ear in a soft motion then kiss her again, slower and in a more delicate way.
I break the kiss slowly and smile. "I missed you too," I confess. She nods after a second or two, still a bit bewildered.
I don't let her go until she eases her grips on my shoulders. When I step away from she stumbles a little bit, but recovers quickly. I straighten her jacket a bit then take another step back, still tempted to give into the temptation to devour her with my lips.
"I have to go," she whispers.
I nod "Yeah, I know…"
I open the door, but she doesn't leave immediately. We stare at each other, I grin then daintily caress her face with the back of my phalanxes. I capture her lips again, delivering a lingering kiss. I take a deep breath, resolving myself to let her go.
"Have a nice shift," I murmur.
She smiles and starts to walk out, my hand takes her, maybe I'm not ready after all. She chuckles and bites her bottom lip, she sighs with amusement. "Sar…" she breathes out. "I really need to go."
"I know… I know," I nod.
She kisses me, I impregnate myself with the sweet taste of her lips; she pulls back a first time, then kisses me again before stepping out of my apartment.
"Drive safe," I say when she's on the threshold.
She beams then goes away and I finally close the door, a grin plastered on my face.
xxxxx
Cath and I finally manage to have a night off together, so we went out to play pool then had dinner out. It was very, very pleasant, especially considering that we really didn't have any time to ourselves outside work for the past week.
We just got back to her house and we just made it through the door, for the sake of not giving a free show to her neighbours. With my back against her door, we've been kissing for I don't know how long – not that I care, and I'm still not tired of it.
Catherine sighs in our kiss then, pulls away and looks at me, a glint in her eyes and a suggestive smirk playing across her lips. She grabs my hands and start walking backward, tugging me along. I start to walk in her direction, then stop when we reach the couch level. She comes back closer to me, she kisses me sweetly. "I want you to stay the night," she specifies, even though I had come to that conclusion myself.
"I can't," I wince. "I have to go back to Hazy."
"You can call her, tell her you're staying with me so she doesn't worry."
"It's not that," I smile. "I can't leave her alone."
"I'm sure she'll understand."
"She would, but then I'll be the one unable to think about anything else than the fact that she's alone."
"Well…" she kisses me. "I'm sure I can find ways to distract you," she adds before kissing me again.
I pull back and sigh. "I really can't stay," I grin apologetically.
"Why?" she frowns, puzzled.
"I have to go back to Hazy," I repeat.
"It's just one night," she chuckles softly. "I'm sure she can handle it," she cups my left cheek and runs her thumb on it. "It's going to be fine, don't worry."
"Cath…" I sigh, my tone is mingled with a twinge of frustration.
Her expression loses her warmth. "I don't get it, I'm sorry," she shakes her head before stepping away from me, letting go of my hands. "You can't leave her alone?" she snorts. "She's 32, I think she can handle one single night by herself," her voice is still soft when she addresses me.
I nod with pursed lips. "Fine, let me rephrase then. I don't want to leave her alone."
"You know…" she trails of. "You know if you feel under pressure, don't… nothing has to happen tonight… I'm perfectly fine with making out with you on the couch and then just sleep in your arms," she declares after a moment. She comes back to me, puts a hand on my cheek and looks at me with affection. "Nothing has to happen," she repeats gently.
"It's not about that… I just really have to go back to my sister."
She closes her eyes briefly and sighs; she walks further away from me, passes a hand in her hair, sign that she's no longer upset but angry. "If don't want to spend time with me just say so, don't use Hazy to bail out."
"I would have asked her to stay at Greg's, but he's working tonight, I can't leave her alone. Please don't be upset," I try to reason with her.
"Well excuse me for wanting to spend time with you!"
"I want to spend time with you too!" I affirm with conviction.
"Yeah right…"
"Look, we can spend the night together, we just have to go back to my place so…" I offer.
"Hazy doesn't stay alone? Are you kidding me?" she snaps.
"No, it's a fair compromise."
"I don't want a compromise and I don't want to sleep at your place tonight. I want you to be with me with no one around, I want to have some exclusive time with you, just the two of us…"
"I want that too!"
"No you don't!" she replies firmly. "If you did, you wouldn't serve me some lame excuse…"
"It's not an excuse…" I try.
"No? You don't want to spend the night with me because you'd rather go baby sit your 32 year old sister, forgive me, but that's weak," she spits.
I don't say anything, not finding any word that could make a difference.
"You don't want to leave her alone, well that's convenient, because I'm so upset right now the only thing I want is for you to leave me alone."
"I'm…" I start to apologize.
"Yeah, whatever, just… drive safely," she dismisses me before turning her back to me.
I stay there, numb, wishing that I could explain myself better. When she refuses to meet my gaze I finally comply and leave her house.
xxxxx
I hear a key working the locks of my front door and don't bother turning around. I've been playing a video game almost all night.
"I got the chocolate, the cinnamon and everything you asked," Greg announces before putting a grocery bag on the counter of my kitchen.
I sent him a text message when I came back from Catherine's, inviting him for breakfast and allowing him to use his key. It might seem weird that he still possesses a key of my place, but I trust him with it, just like he trust me with the keys of his place; that way if anything happens or in case of need we don't have to bother with those kind of details.
He puts away some things in the fridge, then comes to sit down next to me, he kisses my temple quickly then grabs a controller and joins my party.
"You look tired," he states after several minutes.
"Yeah."
"Rough night?"
"I've been repeating this level about forty times and I'm still stuck," I avoid his question, but he understands my silent answer.
"Tricky level," he simply says after a moment. "Did you loosen the valve in the red room?"
"What red room?"
"The one inside the tunnel?" I frown trying to figure out what he's talking about. "Alright, feel lucky I'm here, you'd have been there for days."
I chortle. I feel blessed to have him as a friend, he knows when to push me to talk and when not to, and he always knows how to cheer me up.
"First argument," I state not leaving the screen.
"Hmm?" I can see him frown from my peripheral vision. "Oh…" he says when understanding finally dawns on him. "Really bad?"
"Not really… but let's just say that there couldn't have been any less inopportune time to fail explaining that I don't leave Hazy on her own."
"Ouch," he grimaces a bit, I couldn't say if he's talking to me or to his character on screen. "On the plus side, now any time soon will be the appropriate time to try and explain again."
Greg and I almost never slept apart, and that from the very beginning of our relationship, so we never had to face the issue Cath and I had last night.
"Yeah but…the moment was special," I whine a bit.
"If you consider that every moment with her is special, then there will be many more of those. So, things aren't that bad, you just need to learn to express yourself better," he shrug with a pout then he sticks his tongue to the side of his mouth when he's trying a complicated move in the video game.
"How was your shift?" I change topic abruptly.
"Meh, nothing much," he replies with no enthusiasm. "Oh, you know that girl Nick likes?"
"You got to be more specific, it's Nick," I snort.
"The lab tech, she works sometimes during the night shift… short light brown hair, green eyes, medium height… glasses…" Greg inflates his cheeks and exhales slowly trying to find any detail to add.
"Wait… pierced nose… and tattoo on one wrist?" I ask.
"Yeah! That's the one."
"…Karen…Kate…Chris…," I stumble on my memory. "Kristy with a K!"
"Kristy, that's the one!" Greg agrees.
"Alright what about her?"
"So Nick likes her and we invited her to come to grab a bite with us."
"Ooh… how did it go?"
"Nick was his usual charming self but it would seem that she fancied Warrick."
"Poor Nicky."
"Nah," Greg shrugs. "It's a good thing that he works a little bit for it."
"Do I detect jealousy in your voice?" I tease him.
"No," he protests with a chuckle. "I mean, the guy's a player, always a gentleman of course, but he always has it easy, losing from time to time is good for him."
"You're so jealous…" I laugh.
"Hey, I'm the dork of the gang. My best feature is my humour, problem is if I make them laugh too much I jump from 'the cute funny guy' status to 'the buffoon'. I have to work hard to even brush the 'potential date' case."
"Oh, Rus… you poor little fellow," I pout a bit in with apathy.
"Yeah, yeah… I'm just saying, if I have to work for it, at least it's good to see that even him has to sometimes," he states with a grin.
"Boys…" I just sigh and shake my head with affection.
xxxxx
Today, I had the feeling that the shift was dragging on. I always make a point not to mix my job with my personal life. I admit twice with I crossed the line at work with Greg, nothing like being physical in a recluse corner; one time in the locker room, it was during the first days and well the exaltation of novelty was there so I did exchange suggestive words with him, the second time was when we tried to convince Warrick and Nick that we were indeed a couple but to no avail.
Anyway, even though I've been aching for a moment with Catherine to apologize and try to have a chance to explain myself properly, I've resisted my urge and work like I was supposed to. Mind you, to me, it looked like she was avoiding me. I know that the tension is my fault so since we didn't have any case together I gave her the distance she was apparently requesting.
Now that the shift is over, I've been waiting near her car for five minutes now, and my nerves are making it hard for me to stand still. I finally see her exiting the building, she's looking inside her bag probably looking for her key, I grin at the sight. My grin fades though when she finally notices me, she stops in her tracks and her expression is unmistakable, she doesn't want to deal with me. She sighs, and starts to come closer again. Even though she obviously doesn't want to talk to me, she stops at my level.
"Hey," I grin shyly.
"Hey," she echoes flatly.
"I was wondering if we could grab a bite with me right now."
"No, sorry I got to go home," she says without even thinking about my proposition, barely glancing at me before making it around the car to get to the driver side.
I watch her open the door but speak before she enters the car. "How about a coffee just before next shift?"
"Can't do either, I'd have to leave Linds alone and I can't do that now, can I?"
And one punch in the teeth…
That hurts, but I guess I deserve it.
I'm about to propose something else but she cuts me "I'll call you or let you know when I'm available," she simply says with a sigh. At least that deserves to be clear.
I nod and purse my lips. "Okay."
xxxxx
"Hazy, I swear if you're in there stealing one of my shirts again I'm tickling you to death!" I shout from the corridor.
"Oooh, now that's a threat," Greg says with blatant sarcasm. I just smack the back if his head in answer. "Ouch…" he sulks.
"What's the plan for tonight?"
"Just going to have a drink with Jas, then I'll drop Hazy back and then him and I are leaving for the weekend."
"Okay."
It's been four days since Cath and I argued and she hasn't called or made any sign that she was ready to deal with me again. I'm worried about the state of our relationship, but I respect her choice; the last thing I want is to make things worse by pushing her when she's not ready to talk.
"Bee, I'm borrowing…" Hazy starts but trails off.
"No…I don't like the beginning of this sentence," I shake my head and go join my sister in the bedroom.
"Women," Greg snorts, which earns him another smack on the head. "Hey!"
After a very firm and intransigent debate with my sister about her not taking my clothes, I…let her borrow the shirt she had her eyes on. While she's getting ready I go back to the living room, and talk with Greg about which movie we should see next time we have the chance.
A knock on my door interrupts our conversation. "Just how long does it take to your sister to put a shirt on?" Greg asks when I stand up to go to the door.
"Beats me," I chuckle.
My heart skips a beat when I see Catherine on the other side of the peephole. I open the door and she takes a moment to decide whether or not coming inside.
"Hazy, come on! I'd like to have a drink before dying of old age," Greg whines.
"Don't get your boxers in a knot, give me 5 more bloody minutes yeah?" Hazy replies from behind my bedroom door. Having spent a lot of time with our mother's family
"Greg," I simply call him, he turns to me and smiles.
"Hey Cath," he comes to her and kisses her cheek. While they chit chat I go to my kitchen and start putting back the clean dishes where they belong.
"There, I'm ready," Hazy announces as she enters the room. "Catherine, good evening," she grins and mimics Greg.
"We are finally going," Greg states with feigned exasperation.
I go back to them and hug my sister, Greg kisses me on the temple and starts to walk away but I grab his ear and turn it.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow…" he complains, I just wait for him to say what I need to hear. "We'll be safe, I'll look after her and I'll bring her back in one piece," he says quickly. I don't let go of his ear though. "I promise," he adds.
"You break it and the next breakfast you'll have will be made out of your guts, got it?" I tell him seriously.
"Yes!" he winces.
I finally let go of his ear. "Good," I smile while he rubs his appendage to soothe the pain.
"Love you Hazy."
"Love you too Bee," she calls from the door before leaving Catherine and I alone in my apartment. I still can hear them bickering from behind the door as they walk away.
Catherine and I stare at each other for a moment, not saying anything. I take a deep breath and make the first move, I grab her hand and guide her to the couch.
"I'm sorry about the other day," I start.
"Sar… no," she cuts me off. "I'm the only one who should be apologizing here."
She hangs her head, pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. She starts rubbing her hands together, watching them as she speaks. "The other day… I wanted you…" she looks at me, tilting her head leaving no room for guesses regarding to what she means, the looks at her hands again. "Nothing had to happen, and maybe it wouldn't have but I wanted you… and when… you refused to stay…" she struggles. "That rejection was hard to take… I took it very personally when it wasn't…" she sighs.
After a long silence she looks at me. "I was selfish and petty… like a teenager throwing a tantrum. Your sister is here and it's normal that you wouldn't leave her alone, it's not her city and you care… and you don't owe me any more explanation than that… and I should have push the issue and make a big deal out of it… but I really wanted to spend time with you… I just… felt… insecure… damn, I hate this word," she growls.
I can see that it took her a lot to get those words out; she's as good as me when it comes to talking about the way she feels, and I know that she had to make herself violence just to be here right now.
I put a hand over hers then entwine our fingers together. "I am sorry to have spoiled the moment. And I promise that Hazy was the only reason why I needed to leave," I assure her. She looks at me with an embarrassed expression. I grin tenderly at her, lean in and leave a linger kiss on her cheek. "I want you too, Cath… you never have to doubt it."
"So… hum… I'm ready to compromise if your offer still stands, as long as it means getting a chance to spend a little more time with you," she smiles shyly.
"Off course the offer still stands," I beam. "Thank you," I kiss her lips.
xxxxx
Cath decided that we should stay in so we rented movies and ordered food. We've been cuddling on the couch talking, laughing, just enjoying simple things.
My door is unlocked, then opened slowly when we're in the middle of the second movie. I'm sitting against one arm of the couch, Catherine is in between my legs, her back to my chest, wrapped in my arms. I kiss the top of Cath's head then look at the entry hall, where Hazy is discarding her jacket.
"Hey," I greet her with a smile.
"Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting," she winces. I shake my head with an eye roll, she comes and kiss my crown and pats Catherine's shoulder. Catherine looks at her and smiles.
"So how was your evening?" I ask.
"It was nice, thanks."
"You've eaten something yet?"
"No."
"There are some left over on the kitchen counter if you want."
"Cool."
She goes to the kitchen and prepares herself a plate. She eats on the counter then joins us in the living room, sitting on the armchair next to the couch.
"This movie is ridiculous," I state.
"It's a romantic comedy, what did you expect?" Cath chuckles.
"I don't know… comedy… there you just have… same old lovey-dovey thing going on."
"It's a romantic comedy!" Cath points out.
"Catherine's right, there are only two things you should be expecting, a plot that is just coherent, and chemistry between the main characters. The rest is just different but same old formula," Hazy shrugs. "Of course there are going to be some clichés, but then you'd be surprise at how many people can relate to those."
"I agree, I'll add good dialogues to your list though," Cath nods.
"I don't think I like romantic comedies then."
Once the credits start to roll, Hazy goes to have a shower, then to bed.
Catherine and I share some cocoa and talk a while more before deciding to call it a night. We change and Cath insists that I don't convert the couch into a bed, the closeness being more enjoyable to her, and I don't complain when she lying half on the couch, half on top of me.
xxxxx
A gut wrenching cry breaks the silence of my apartment, Cath is awaken with a start. "What was that?" she asks, but I don't bother replying and hurry to disentangle myself and rush to my bedroom.
Hazy is sitting on the bed, curl in a ball in one corner, moaning loudly in apparent pain, shaken by violent tremors; her eyes are opened wide in terror; she's mechanically digging the nails of her left hand on her right forearm, scratching the skin aggressively, rocking herself a bit.
I cautiously come to her side. "Sweet pea, it's alright," I speak in a low soothing voice, knowing that she's caught in between sleep and reality.
"He's all over me… all over me…" she says with a broken voice when she doesn't moan, not registering anything I'm telling her. I tentatively reach out for her, as soon as my hand touches her arm she savagely debates herself.
"It's alright…," I keep whispering to no avail.
She's rocking herself even more frantically; she's gasping for air and small droplets of blood start to appear on her arm where she's digging her nails.
"Is she alright?" I turn around surprised at the new voice. Hazy goes berserk at the sound, her shaking increases and moaning is even harder.
"Get out! Now! Get out of here!" I bark aggressively at Catherine before turning to Hazy again.
I inch myself closer and wrap my arms against her, she struggles violently overwhelmed with panic. "No… no…no!" she exclaims edgily.
I don't let go, and speak softly. "You're in security sweet pea… it's alright… shhh… it's alright…" I repeat in continue.
It takes her about five minutes to stop struggling completely; her shaking and panic don't fade though. She's damp with sweat and cold, I always manage to be surprise at the important drop of her temperature or how pale she is during her night terrors.
I keep murmuring soothing word, careful not to wake her; I don't let go of her until her shaking subsides, her breathing is even and she relaxes, when I'm sure she's deeply asleep again I untangle myself and take a look at her forearm, it's bleeding a bit, it's not bad and I'd like to at least pass some water over it, but it might wake her up and that wouldn't be a good thing because it might trigger another crisis later.
I exit my bedroom but leave the door ajar. I go back to the living room, then head straight to the kitchen sink as unexpected bile rises in my throat; I dry heave a few times, coughs rattle through my chest; I take a few deep breaths then wash my mouth abundantly with water until I get rid of the acidic taste lingering in my mouth. I splash some water over my face, then lean my forehead on the cold metal; breathing deeply and slowly in order to quiet my heartbeat.
I straighten myself up and am surprise when I turn around to find Catherine looking at me from behind the counter; here eyes are full of incomprehension and fear. I repose myself against the sink and sigh as I hang my head. I look at her again before speaking. "I'm sorry… for being harsh earlier… and that you had to see that…" I say with a weak voice before looking away.
I'm suddenly very aware on the tremors going through me, of the sound of a car passing in the street, of the buzzing sound of the light bulb; I hear the clear sound of repeated contact of bare skin on the linoleum then on the cold tile floor. Cath is standing in front of me but I refuse to look at her.
I hate it, that she had to witness this; I know that part of it is just my protective instincts still running wild in my veins, another is because I don't want to have to face the 'look' the one of pity, the one of contempt. I give credit to Catherine not to be like that, but I can't help feeling the way I do. And right now I feel lost, vulnerable and powerless.
I feel Catherine's hand cupping my cheek but I immediately shy away from the touch as if burned. She hesitates, but tries again. I resist the touch, try without to much will, she doesn't let anything deter her and slowly but surely secures me in her embrace, one arm around my waist and her other hand on the back of my neck. I give up and rest my forehead against her shoulder; I couldn't really say what bring my last line of defence on its knees, whether it's the soft movement of her fingertips on the nap of my neck or the warmth of her hold but eventually I circle her waist with my arms and hang onto her tightly.
An intense shiver passes through me, erupting in one single sob; she doesn't say anything, just hold me to her while I let go of my distress and allow myself to lean on her.
The book Sara is referring to is 'To Kill a Mokingbird' by Harper Lee. ;)
Thanks for reading