Author's Note - A big thank you to everyone who sent reviews following my last update. They are : peanut2lb, Prujo (), LeoPiperAndyPrue, PrueLovesAndyLovesPrue and ShOULDi you all inspired me to keep writing and I will definitely finish the story I promise.

Thanks again,

Lady Piwah

Chapter 37

"Damn it what am I going to do? What was he doing there? How could he just 'bump' into Phoebe like that? I have wondered what I would do were I to come face to face with him again and of all the scenarios I had run through in my mind, this was not one of them. Everything is going to be ruined if he gets involved. Gods, I can't even bear to write his name since I saw him. It's as if writing his name will make me powerless to deny the feelings I still have and I have to deny them…if I wan to survive, I have to deny them."

"This is bad, very bad. Roger is already suspicious of him since that meeting at the Manor. It's partly my fault. For a moment there I let me guard down and I know it is going to cost me but I have to grin and bear it. At least for a little while longer. But with him digging into things, it is going to be very difficult. I'm just grateful my sisters have no idea what is going on. By the looks of it he hasn't told them his suspicions. It's strange how after all this time I can still read him like a book. I know what he is thinking and I know what he would probably do if he found out he was right. But no matter how much I might want to run to him and tell him everything and let him protect me, it wouldn't be like that. I couldn't let that happen without telling him everything and if he knew he would hate me. So, I have to carry on with my plan and hope for the best. If it works, then I can think about make amends for the past. Right now though, I have to concentrate on living long enough to do that."

"So, she was planning to escape from him without us knowing what was going on and she thought you might spoil the plan somehow? That doesn't make sense. She knew you were a police officer – she knew you could offer protection against Roger so why not take it. Surely she could see that was the best option?" Phoebe said, amazed at her sister's thinking.

"We might be able to see it as her best option but that's not to say she did." Darryl said, speaking for the first time since they had begun reading the diaries. When everyone looked at him with a questioning look, he continued his train of thought.

"Well it's like she said. She knew she wouldn't be able to accept Andy's help without telling him about the baby because of the guilt she still felt. And she believed, for whatever reason, that if Andy knew the whole truth, he would want nothing to do with her. Now we may know that he wouldn't abandon her, she didn't. It was a huge step for her to plan to escape Roger but that didn't mean she felt less worthless than before. It just means she knew she had to escape or die and she probably didn't want to put her sisters through that kind of pain and suffering."

When no-one interrupted, Darryl continued.

"Again, we come back to her 'duty' to you, her sisters. Everything she did she perceived to be in your best interests, whether it be protecting you from Roger or from pain. We may not be able to understand her reasoning, but then we have never had cause to feel the kind of shame, worthlessness and pain she has felt."

After a moment's silence Phoebe said "I guess I hadn't thought of it from that way before. I still find it unbelievable that Prue has been through all of this and we had no idea. It's feels as if this is all a dream and I am going to wake up any moment to find everything as I believed it was. But that's not going to happen is it? This is really happening and my big sister is suffering and has been for more years than I care to think about right now." Phoebe looked away from everyone towards her unconscious sister.

"I remember when we were little after Mom had died. As a child, I absolutely worshipped Prue. I didn't think there was anyone better in the world and she was everything to me. She used to read me stories at bed time, she used to cheer me up when I was upset about something and she used to sneak me my favourite treats when Grams wasn't looking", Phoebe continued, with a wistful smile of remembrance upon her face. "I knew even at a young age that she would do absolutely anything for me, and I knew that she loved me so much. She used to tell me so every night but I would have known it whether she had said or not."

"But I remember that just sometimes, I would catch her looking out the window, or ay a point in the distance only she could see, and she had a sad look on her face. I didn't know the reason for it, I was only a child, but I remember thinking that it was my turn to cheer her up at those times."

"I remember you used to tickle her, or bring her a sweet, or just simply hug her." Piper said, looking at Prue. "You always managed to bring her round and I always felt slightly jealous of that. Looking back now, I had no reason too. Prue and I spent time together in a different way as we were closer in age. She would confide in me about boys as we got older and she would always give me all the details of her dates. I guess that was our thing. After all, you and I went through swimming lessons together, and camp. We shared those things without Prue. But do you remember the one thing we always did as a threesome Phoebe?" Piper asked a ghost of a smile on her face.

"Movie sleepins!" Phoebe replied, breaking into the first real smile she had given since this whole nightmare had begun. When Andy and Morris looked at them as if they had grown another head, Phoebe explained. "We used to take the TV up to one of our rooms when a movie was on. The three of us would snuggle under the covers with popcorn, soda and other snacks and watch the movies together. We used to put a sign on the door saying 'Keep Out – Sister's Only' so Grams wouldn't come in. Sometimes we would actually watch the movie and other times we would just talk over it."

"What did you talk about?" Andy asked, keen to hear more about the happier times for the sisters.

"We well were still quite young when we started so we used to pester Prue for stories about Mom and Dad. We had no way of knowing back then how painful that topic must have been for her." Piper said with a sad look.

"When we were older, Prue used to tell us stories about how she was going to marry you Andy, and how we could live with you both and we'd be one big happy family. Now I think about it, we never thought to ask why Grams couldn't live with us too but it didn't seem to matter I guess. Prue was able to talk for hours about the plans you guys were making and how happy you made her. She used to light up from the inside when she said your name and she had this glint in her eye. We were young but not too young not to recognise that our sister was in love."

"She told you guys our plans?" Andy asked, a shadow passing across his face as he remembered all the plans they had discussed.

"Yeah she did. She said we should get used to the ides of you being our brother cos she planned to have you in her life for a very long time." Phoebe replied, moving to hold Prue's hand gently.

A long silence followed as everyone thought about that final statement. There were so many what ifs? that could be said. But they all knew that they wouldn't change a thing right now. Right now they needed to get back to Prue's diaries. Since finding recent entries, they had all thought but not voiced the possibility of Prue having written about something in detail which could incriminate Roger. For while she had talked about leaving him and that he had been abusive, she had only mentioned it in general, and if they were going to be successful against him in court, they would need details.