I was told by a reviewer in an irate pm that I should stop posting fanfiction because no one wanted to read stories posted by someone who wasn't smart enough to know how to label them correctly and understand what AU means. I dunno...they could be right...but I guess I'll keep writing them anyways. I apologize ahead of time for continuing to inflict my stupidity on you guys! ;D
Has anyone read the Buzzfeed interview with MW and Sean M? MW mentioned that Tony was written, for several years, as the idiot child in the corner. And that for several years, it was Ziva and McGee against Tony. Guess some of us fic readers and writers haven't been the only ones to notice!
Shortish chapter, and then an epilogue after this.
There had been a time on the way to the airport where Fornell debated with himself whether or not to even let Jethro see DiNozzo, but it wasn't like the man wasn't making the effort, a huge one, in fact, to see the young man. He didn't want it to be just so Gibbs could ease his guilt over what he had done before leaving for Mexico, or for not being there when SecNav took advantage of his absence. It needed to be as much for Tony, if not more, since he was the unwilling recipient of both Gibbs' and Davenport's misguided actions.
But he knew more than anyone what Gibbs was feeling, and knew that there was more to it than the man just wanting to assuage his conscience. He had always, always been there for Tony when he was injured and in the hospital, even if he'd had to call in Pacci or Balboa to run things for him while he was gone. They knew what Tony meant to him, and they knew that both Tony and Gibbs had been, and would still be there for them when they were in a tight spot.
Punishing Gibbs for something he'd done while not entirely in his right mind was not really fair to the Gunny,and doubly unfair to Tony. And Fornell would be damned if he made the Very Special Agent's life any more unhappy than it already was.
"Ducky has the final say over who gets in to see him." he announced to Gibbs as they made their way to the trauma unit elevator. "Don't mean to hurt your feelings, Jethro, but he's down as Tony's next of kin, what he says, goes."
Gibbs flinched a little at Fornell's words, but said nothing as he stood stoically next to the FBI agent as they ascended to their destination. To belabor the point of losing his status as next of kin was useless; for Tony to go without one while Gibbs was sunning in Mexico would have been sheer madness, especially with the young man's propensity for injury. The ex-Team Leader closed his eyes and made himself glad that Tony had had someone like Ducky to be there for him in such a dire situation.
It wasn't important now, anyways, who was and who wasn't listed . He needed to be with the kid who had made such an impression on him in Baltimore, who had unintentionally taught Gibbs far more than Gibbs felt he had taught Tony. Sometimes when he watched Tony laughing with Abby, or trying to lift Kate's spirits after a difficult case, or listening to one of Ducky's story as if his life depended on it, he had to ask himself just who was the student and who was the teacher. Gibbs had been pretty sure that when he'd left a trail of bread crumbs for Tony to follow back to NCIS, that he was going to learn all there was to know at the foot of the master. Funny how that had worked out.
When the doors opened to the trauma unit, Gibbs bolted out, not really planning on waiting for Ducky to give him permission to see his young friend. Fornell had read his mind and held him back by the arm, a move which caused the former Marine to counter with a swift, hard shake.
"Jethro, I know what you're planning on doing, and I'm not going to try to stop you. But before you go charging in there, you need to listen to me. Tony did not see this coming. He didn't want to have any part of what SecNav made him do, and I tried like hell to get him out of it, but I was too late. If you say one thing, one little thing, that makes it sound like he shouldn't have been anywhere near that hotel, so help me I will make you live to regret it. You don't get to use the tough love crap on him, not even in a joke, 'cause he's not in any kind of head space to understand you don't mean it. You apologize to him for whatever you said, I don't care if you have to get down on your knees to do it if that's what it takes for him to know you mean it."
"He'll know I mean it, Tobias." Gibbs answered quietly, not only not angry with his friend, but touched at the man's level of protection for Tony. "He'll see it in my eyes. Whether he accepts it or not," Gibbs shrugged, " I can't say. But I guess I'll just keep telling him until he does. Can't lose him, Tobias. I've lost too much already."
Fornell reached a supportive hand out and squeezed Gibbs' shoulder.
"I know, Jethro. And you know how sorry I am about that. But you cut his heart out with a spoon when you went after him in your basement. He never told me what it was, but I know it had to be bad, and I don't know why you said it. You make it right by him, and don't leave here until you do, or I'll hunt you down and end you myself."
Gibbs nodded, and surprised the Fibbie with a small, crooked smile.
"You'd have to get past Abby and Kate first. Hate to think of the things they've been plotting against me."
"Yeah. You'd never know by looking at them how scary they can be, and together they're scary beyond reason. You do right by their bambino, I imagine they'll cut you some slack."
Gibbs nodded and headed for the nurse's station. Just about to ask the charge nurse which room Tony was in, Ducky came swooping down on them, an angry look on his face. Great. Gibbs muttered to himself. If Fornell thought Abby and Kate were formidable, he'd never gone up against a full-on righteously indignant Donald Mallard. Well, I had it coming, just cowboy up and deal with it.
"Tobias, there you are! And who do we have here? Ahh, yes, I seem to remember you!" he chirped cheerily, acting as if he was only vaguely recognizing Gibbs. "But the real mystery, it seems, is just what you remember! I will not let you see Anthony until you can prove to me that you mean him no further harm. He's had quite enough abuse at yours and Phillip Davenport's hands."
"Not here to do that, Ducky. Need to see him. Talk to him. I know damned well what I said and did to him, I don't need anyone else throwing it in my face."
Ducky eyed the ex-agent stonily, searching for any trace of misguided attempts to make amends with the only real intention being getting back into their good graces and taking his team back. What he saw set him back on his heels, and he sighed with a combination of relief and gratefulness. He was dreading having to tell Tony that Gibbs was either still in Mexico or not allowed in to see him when he woke up.
It seemed that the former team leader had left his anger and don't-give-a-damn back in Mexico, or more likely, was suppressing any anger he felt at those responsible for hurting Tony until an appropriate time to vent it.
"No. You don't. And while I won't tell you that I condone how you handled things when you left, I do appreciate the effort you've made to come back. Perhaps when things are a bit less on edge we can find the time to talk."
Gibbs smiled warmly at the older man, understanding that the M.E would naturally be suspicious of his motives and protective of DiNozzo, and somehow calmed by the fact the man was still willing to offer an olive branch to him.
"I'd like that, Duck." Gibbs admitted quietly. "And I appreciate you taking over for me as next of kin. Couldn't find a better one."
"Oh, well, I think we know which one of us he would prefer, but you're welcome anyways. Should you decide to stay here in Washington, we can discuss changing it again with Anthony.
Gibbs nodded wordlessly, and Ducky could easily see he was anxious to see Tony.
"Well, that's neither here nor there at the moment, let us see if Anthony is allowed any visitors, shall we? And I need to warn both of you. He will look very rough, much more so than any other visit he's had here. There's only so much that can be done to make him comfortable, so most likely he'll be restless and unhappy. He will also be on some heavy doses of analgesics, so please do not expect any coherent thoughts from him, much less coherent sentences. I would hazard a guess that it will take him the better part of the day to even be cognizant of who you are."
"I've got time, Duck. Just take me to him."
Ducky smiled and turned to lead the two friends to Tony's ICU, giving Gibbs arm a gentle pat on the way.
"A bump in the road, Jethro. A rather large one, but a bump just the same. You will come out the better for it, and Anthony will learn just how far you will go to be there for him in the long run. Ah, here we are."
Ducky stopped in front of a small room with a large window, barely bigger than a work cubicle, and gently rapped on the door before coming in. He was greeted by a trauma nurse, who was efficiently checking Tony's i.v lines and oxygen, and he smiled at her as she stepped outside to talk to him while Gibbs and Fornell made their way over to the young agent's bedside.
"Jee-zus, Tony." Gibbs growled under his breath as he took in the sight of his friend and ex-partner.
Touching Tony's forehead, he flinched at the damp heat radiating off from it, and almost called for the nurse, but knew if there had been any concerns with her patient's temperature, she would have been addressing them.
"Believe it or not he looks better than when we brought him in. He was whiter than Wonder Bread and heading into gray territory. I could barely stand looking at him."
Gibbs, though, continued to stare down at the restlessly sleeping figure in the bed, and let his hand continue stroking back Tony's longer than usual hair.
"Needs a haircut. Needed one before my accident, and I didn't wanna bug him about it, we were too busy."
"So you remember everything now, Jethro?"
"Not everything. A lot of important stuff, the little stuff I remember when something triggers it."
"So you know you two were closer than close before you and everything else went south."
"Spends half his downtime in my basement on that stupid couch of his, eating and reading and recovering from whatever knocked him down that day." Gibbs nodded, his mind flooding with more memories of times with Tony, and times with the rest of his team. The emotions were so acute and unbidden when it happened that it was almost overwhelming for him as he sought to categorize and make sense of them. Memories of Abby were almost impossible to configure into anything rational, other than hugs and laughing and lots of enthusiasm. Kate's memories brought a kind of steadiness and order, and more seriousness than the lab Goth, yet a good level of warmth and affection, too.
Surprisingly, both the least and most complex and perplexing were the feelings that came with Tony's memories. Now that he was able to see and touch the young man, Gibbs was a mass of conflict, overcome with fear and guilt, and yet relief at seeing Tony alive and breathing. Vying for a spot next to the first three emotions were betrayal and anger at SecNav, a man whom before last week, he had trusted and admired.
Yet with all of these emotions battling for a place in his heart, none of them could beat down the strongest one, that of a protectiveness and love that he knew he hadn't felt since his biological child Kelly had come into his life. It filled and blanketed him at the same time, and he hoped he could pass that same energy on to Tony as a way to help him heal and recover, both physically and emotionally.
Touching him, rubbing his forehead with his thumb, Gibbs smiled at the connection that almost felt like a spark of energy between them, something that even though he couldn't explain it in words, knew existed all the same.
"He'll get through this, if only to kick my ass when he's strong enough. He'll have a few people waiting in line behind him to finish me off."
"We'll get through this, Jethro. What happens to one of us, happens to all of us. He knew you didn't have any idea what you were saying to him when you yelled at him before you left, and you know he couldn't carry a grudge in a bucket against you or probably anyone else. It's not in him. I, on the other hand...well, let's just say that if you don't make sure Davenport's taken out at the knees, I'll find a way to do it myself. Even lowly FBI agents have connections."
"Gotta talk to Morrow. See if anyone higher up than SecNav sanctioned the op. Chances are, they didn't, or it wouldn't have gone so sideways. If that's the case, Tom will see that Davenport's hung by his balls, friend or not. He's kinda fond of Tony, besides the fact he hates anyone who treatsany of his agents like crap."
"Well, I'll hold off for a while, but no promises."
They were interrupted from their dark talk of retribution by Ducky, who popped inside the tiny cubicle and gave them both pleading looks.
"I know that you want to stay with him, and you both will be allowed back in to see him shortly, but they're still working to adjust his medications and get him thoroughly settled. Give them another couple of hours, and perhaps Anthony may even be a bit cognizant by then."
Gibbs looked ready to protest, but he saw the steely determination mirrored in the M.E's eyes, and knew it wasn't the time or place to start any new battles. He was at the disadvantage here; even though it had been just over a week since being wounded and heading off for warmer climes, both Fornell and Ducky had already stepped in to take his place as Tony's advocate, a fact he was finding both reassuring and disheartening.
"Perhaps the both of you could go find a little eatery for pick-me-up lunch, I doubt either of you have had anything decent since yesterday."
"As a matter of fact, Ducky, I am kind of caved in. Let's go, Jethro, he's in good hands, Ducky will make sure to call us if he needs us."
Gibbs sighed and gave Tony's chest a gentle pat.
"We'll be back, kiddo." he promised, and followed Fornell out of the small unit. Ducky squeezed Gibbs' shoulder and gave the man an encouraging smile.
"It's good to have you back, Jethro. And soon he will tell you the same thing. You need to be patient just a bit longer."
"So where do you wanna go for lunch? 'Cause honestly, I could chow down an entire buffet right about now."
"Yeah. Buffet sounds good. How about that pancake house around the corner from here, they have good food."
"Bet they know you pretty well there, Jethro, all the time you spend here waiting for somebody to put Tonio back together again."
"Yeah, they know me." Gibbs smirked. "Know us all, unfortunately. Come on, I'll buy."
They walked in silence the block and a half to the diner, enjoying the crisp sunny day and the strength their friendship gave them. Settling into a small window booth, they were greeted by an equally sunny waitress who handed them menus and poured them ice water to start out.
"Ah, Mr. Gibbs! It's been a while! Please don't tell me your boy is back in Bethesda again!"
"Yeah, Crystal, I'd like to say it isn't so, but I can't. He'll be in there for a while, no overnight stay this time around."
"Oh, that's too bad! Hope it's nothing too – hey, wait a minute, he wasn't the kid who got stabbed at that hospital fund raiser last night, was he?"
Gibbs was hesitant to divulge any information to her, even though he'd chatted with her plenty of times before about Tony's prior 'mishaps'. He wasn't sure himself about what all had gone down in that hotel or why his agent had been targeted and brutally injured, so he edited his response.
"Yes, he was the one, but I don't know much more about it than you do, so.. let's just say I can't comment on any of it. It was pretty serious, but he's got great doctors taking care of him." He picked up the menu and glanced at it, hoping to head her off from the subject of Tony's unhappy situation. "I'm going to get the buffet, with a carafe of black coffee. Apple pie for dessert. And whatever my friend Tobias wants."
"Sure! What'll it be, Tobias?"
"Same as he's having, only I'll share his carafe, and ask for a little half and half."
"No problem I'll be right back with it, you boys help yourself, plates are at the end of the buffet."
She was off in a cheerful whirl as the two federal agents headed to the bountiful spread and piled up their plates with all manner of meat, grease and starch. They both looked longingly at their loaded plates, thinking how long it had been since they'd had a decent, somewhat home-cooked meal. It was a good half hour before either of them came up for air, refilling their plates a time or two in between and slugging down the hot coffee. Finally Fornell pushed his plate away from himself and groaned, rubbing his stomach.
"Oh gawd, that was good. Thanks, Jethro. What with working my own cases and trying to ferret out ways to get Davenport to give up on Benoit in between, I haven't eaten anything better than a vending machine sandwich the past few days."
"Hell, I've been eating Mike's so-called cooking, makes vending machine sandwiches seem pretty good." He wiped his mouth with a napkin and pushed his own plate away. "Wanted to thank you for trying to help Tony get out of that. Took a lot of balls to do that behind everyone's back, could've turned out bad for you in the end."
"Don't think I hadn't thought of that, Jethro. But I had to do something, I couldn't let the kid just march into the jaws of death without at least knowing I'd done everything I could to save him from it. I was on the verge of calling Trent Kort out from under whatever rock he lives under to see what he could do to get Davenport to back off."
"Jesus, Tobias, Kort? You friends with him?"
"Friends is such an ugly word when it comes to Trent, Jethro. Let's just say we've crossed paths and he owes me a couple of favors. I was just gonna call in one of my markers is all."
Gibbs shook his head in wonderment. Like Tony, Fornell was always coming up with ways to surprise him.
"Still, if it had got back to your boss that you had anything to do with it..."
"Would've been worth it, Jethro!" Fornell shot back heatedly. "If I could've stopped him from getting that knife in his gut I would've taken whatever they dished out to me, hell, they could've fired me if I'd been able to stop it and it blew back on me! I don't have to tell get all mushy and tell you what he means to me, suffice it to say I'd give up my job and my life for him, same as you! There's gotta be someone really worth fighting for besides Emily, you know? He's the boy I'll never have. Same as you.
Fills that empty space a little."
"A lot."
"Yeah, well. Just didn't want you to think I was trying to step on your toes with him. I know if you'd been up here you would have been tearing the entire city apart to keep him from that op."
"SecNav never would have sent him if I'd been here. He took advantage of my tragedy and then used Tony for his own political tool. My brain might not be a hundred percent yet, but I know what the hell he was up to. If I've gotta lose my job to bring him down, I'll do it. You don't need to tell Tony that, or anything about what I'm doing. Far as he's concerned, Davenport's gonna be SecNav one day, and cannon fodder the next. He doesn't need to know how it happens."
"No problem here, Jethro. You need any help on your mission, you be sure to call and see what I can do."
"Thanks, Tobias. I appreciate that. I'm going to talk to Morrow first, see what he has in mind. If I know Tom as well as I think I do, I won't have to lift a finger to knock Davenport on his ass, he's probably half way out the door as we speak."
"That would be sweet. Well, I need to go check into work, see what's going on there, they know I'm out for an emergency, but I can't stay away forever. You go back and stay with our boy, I'll come back this afternoon, maybe things will have trickled down by then and we'll know what the hell happened and why."
"Yeah. And Tobias. Even if I don't need to go after Davenport? I am going after whoever stabbed Tony. Nobody hurts him and gets away with it, I don't care if it was Benoit himself."
Fornell nodded, acknowledging an unspoken agreement that things might not always be kosher in Gibbs' search for Tony's assailant and his subsequent settling up of accounts.
"I hear ya, Jethro. I'm sure my department will be involved in it somehow, that's one of things I need to get back to the office for. I'll let you know what's rumbling down there. See you tonight."
Gibbs nodded back and dug a couple of 20's out of his wallet, and Fornell headed back to the hospital parking lot to retrieve his car. Crystal the sparkling waitress set out to clear away some of the dishes and hand Gibbs his check, and she tucked away a piece of three layer chocolate cake into a styrofoam container for him.
"This is for you, for later, Jethro, because I know you're going to be sitting by that kid's bed from now until the time he walks out the door of the place." She stuffed a wrapped plastic fork in his suit pocket and started piling the dishes onto a small cart. "You tell Anthony he'd better get his butt in gear and get better so he can come over here and flirt with me."
"I'll do just that, Chris, thanks for the cake. And one of us will be back for take-outs, just like always."
"Gotcha, Jethro. Nice to see you, too bad it's only when one of your own gets hurt."
"Don't I know it, Crystal. Thanks again."
He ducked out the door, anxious to get back to his boy to see if there had been any changes or improvement in the nearly hour and a half he'd been gone. Ducky would probably tell him he was being much too impatient, but he didn't care. He had nowhere better to be than at Tony's bedside, and now that he had a full stomach and a bit better mental clarity, he was ready to stay there for as long as it took. He'd take the time in between now and when Tony woke up to figure out just what to say to the kid, and hoped like hell whatever he came up with would be enough.