I feel like I'm going to throw up. My knees begin to visibly shake and I have to steady myself to prevent from falling over. Through my spinning head, I'm finally able to manage a single word:
"How?" President Holmes seems as shaken as I am on the other end of the line.
"General Sturm's last report was that he made contact with the TEC command element in District 2 just outside of Ohm's factory. They were forcing workers from the plant into transport hovercraft. Reports are spotty, but from what we can figure out. He was leading his team forward to try to stop the TECs, when he took an enemy bullet through the chest. The medics tried to revive him, but he was already gone…"
"He was trying to do what I couldn't…save those people." Now, I know I'm going to throw up. I drop to my knees and stare down at the ground before heaving the contents of my stomach all over the pavement.
"Sir!" Sergeant Denali screams as he sees me. Before he runs over, I hold up my hand and wave him away. I definitely don't want to talk to anyone else right now. President Holmes hears me getting sick over the communicuff.
"Snow…Snow! Are you alright, Colonel?"
"I'm fine," I say cutting her off.
I lied. I'm nowhere near fine right now. In the last year, Sturm had become more of a mentor and friend that I could ever have hoped for. To lose him like this, just seems so unfair to the both of us.
"Did he…Did he at least save any of the civilians?" I hear President Holmes sigh mournfully.
"No….he didn't. The TECs fought the rest of Sturm's platoon back as they were trying to rescue him." I slam my fist into the ground in blind rage.
"Dammit, no! He can't be gone!"
"Colonel Snow," Holmes says cutting into my focus. "I'm on my way to an emergency session of the legislature. By tomorrow evening, there will be a vote…and I need you back in the Capitol immediately."
"For what?'" I ask angrily.
"For an announcement. I'll be expecting you."
"Can we at least bury the dead before we play politics, Driva?" I realize as soon as I said it that this was very cruel to her.
"Somebody has to play politics right now, Ares! Millions around Panem are in a panic and need leadership. This battle isn't just about you."
"Yes, Ma'am. I'm sorry," I say quietly.
"Don't worry. General Sturm will be laid to rest with full military honors as soon as possible. Just get back here."
"I'm on my way…" My communicuff cuts off. I climb to my feet and see Sergeant Denali and Lieutenant Colonel LaSalle standing over me with worried looks on their faces.
"Are you sure you're alright, Sir?" LaSalle asks.
"Yes," I say before changing the subject. "Can you two handle things here? I've just been ordered to get back to the Capitol at once."
"Yes, Sir. We've got this wrapped up," LaSalle says with admirable confidence. "After all, we'll rebuild. That's what victory is…" I manage a grin in his direction.
"Sergeant Denali, get the hovercraft refueled and it back here immediately to pick me up."
"Roger Sir, will we be heading back with you?"
"No, stay here in 6 and assist Lieutenant Colonel LaSalle's forces in any way they need. This mission is just for me."
Half an hour later, I'm alone in the dark troop bay of the hovercraft flying toward the southwest. I stare at the bulkhead across from me, lost in my painful thoughts.
"How can we win this fight without our best leader? He was gruff, he was angry, but he was a warrior…"
Panem is fast running out of its old heroes. First, there was Ohm's betrayal. Now with the death of Sturm, who will the people look to when they think of the glory of the Revolution? The Victors of the Games of course, but as Katniss reminded me, all they want now is to live what's left of their lives in solitude and peace.
"Of course, they've earned it…"
Suddenly, I remember the Mockingjay pin. My hand feels it on my shirt, still safe and sound. Gently, I unpin it from the fabric and run it through my fingers for a few seconds. It is just a simple piece of gold, unremarkable in every way, except for the carnage that it has survived. However, this little piece of metal means more to the people of Panem than their lives. It is a symbol of the Revolution and the sacrifice made to earn them their freedom, and now I hold it in my hands. The Revolution is in my hands.
Katniss' words seem ancient now. I cannot believe that she said them to me just this morning; before the attacks and back when this world was still in an all too brief age of peace.
"This country needs new heroes to look up to…Alright then, Mockingjay, now how the hell am I supposed to be a hero when I'm constantly drowning in my own doubts?" I don't think she has an answer for that one.
I grip the pin tightly and lean my head against the bulkhead before realizing that I am totally exhausted. The loud drone of the hovercraft's engines soon lulls me into a deep sleep: one so deep that my nightmares and doubts leave me alone for at least one night.
The jolt of the hovercraft touching down in the hangar brings me back to consciousness. I walk down the ramp and Amelia is there to meet me.
"When was the last time you slept?" I ask her with a smirk. She just shakes her head.
"I don't even remember…"
"Maybe you should fix that."
"I wish I could, Sir, but there's still work to be done. President Holmes left instructions for you. She's still meeting with the closed session of the Legislature and expects to be there until tonight. So, it falls on you to be the senior leader on the ground here when the transport touches down."
"What transport?" I ask angrily.
"You mean she didn't brief you in the air?"
"I might have turned my communicuff off…" Amelia just sighs.
"An honor guard flew to District 2 last night to collect the remains of General Sturm. He will arrive here this afternoon for a state funeral service before returning back to 2 for burial. It's going to be broadcast on the national network so all of Panem can say goodbye. President Holmes wants you to preside over everything."
"WHAT? No, no, no! I can't" I cannot afford to let the whole population of the country see me emotionally wrecked when the entire UDP is in the middle of a crisis."
"I'm afraid she was very insistent. She even had a temporary apartment set up for you in the Government District and a tailor will meet you there in an hour to fit you with a new set of dress blacks."
"Amelia, do I look like I can handle that right now?" I half yell and half taunt in her direction. She just looks straight back at me.
"Sir, I don't think it matters what you 'can handle' right now. Everyone is panicking, there is chaos in the streets, and what the country needs is to see its leaders clean, confident, and ready. If you can't do that, then maybe you should just not even bother coming to work anymore." She storms away, and I feel one foot tall.
"Thanks Amelia, glad to know I can still count on you to put my ass back in line when I need it…"
In less than twelve hours, I go from being shell-shocked and blood-soaked to actually making a decent impression of a spit-and-polished dignified officer. Dress Blacks are not my favorite outfit, but it's the image we need to put on for the country. The tailor actually did a remarkable job. No one would ever know that my uniform was slapped together so quickly. The only addition I made was the Mockingjay pin, which I still display proudly over my formal name plate.
It is only then that I finally realize that this will be my first time displaying my last name to the whole country at once. That little detail, plus the Mockingjay that everyone will recognize from its famous history will no doubt cause a riot among the newscasters covering this event.
"So much for living a quiet little life after this…"
The transport hovercraft lands directly in front of the Capitol Cathedral. An honor guard of eight soldiers, all pressed and polished carries the flag-drapped casket of my friend down the ramp and toward the front steps. They pause right on cue.
A band solemnly begins to play the Anthem of the UDP and every person salutes on cue. Halfway through the song, I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I comprehend this will be the last time I ever stand in the presence of General Wade Sturm. I don't wipe it away. Somehow, I feel it would disrespect his incredible memory. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a camera focus onto my face.
"Let them see. I don't care."
After the anthem concludes, I lead the honor guard and casket towards the altar of the cathedral. It is almost impossible to comprehend, but in less than eighteen hours, Sturm's memory has motivated people to pack this massive building to the rafters. An ocean of flowers rests in front of the pulpit. So many, in fact, the honor guard has to shift its course in order to respectfully lower the casket onto the stand.
The Head Chaplin of the Defense Ministry gets up and begins the service. I sit behind the pulpit, scanning the crowd as he talks about the meaning of life, death, honor, and sacrifice. To most, those are just words, but to men like General Sturm and me, they are real….and don't need someone in a white vestments to explain them.
In the front row, I suddenly see Gale Hawthorne sitting next to Amelia. Our eyes lock and I am awestruck how he seems to be silently begging me not to judge him right now. He is genuinely crushed by the loss of this man. I then remember how only yesterday the two of them were talking about fighting together during the Revolution. I know I won't say anything to Gale after this. No matter what problems exist between the two of us, I'll let him have his private moment to say goodbye.
"And now…" the Chaplin says concluding his piece of the service, "Colonel Ares Snow, of the Panem Defense Force would like to give a eulogy." He gestures to me and I walk toward the pulpit. I have nothing written down because I have no idea what I'm going to say. I stare out at the sea of mourners and realize that they want to hear something profound and moving. I feel sorry for them, because I just decide to talk about what kind of man my friend was.
"The last words that General Sturm ever said to me were, 'You young whipper snapping son of a…." I pause realizing that I'm in a church on national television, "…gun. May the odds be ever in your favor.' Well, I can say that when you served with General Wade Sturm the odds were always in your favor because you had such a talented and gifted man working at your side. He was a soldier and servant of his country without reproach, but he was so much more than that. He was also a friend, teacher, motivator…and loving older brother." I speak for a few more minutes, telling a couple of stories of how my life will never be the same without him but also how the lessons that he taught me will fight on with me until Panem is once again at safe. As I wrap things up, I look out and see something I never expected. Sure, there was sadness, but in the eyes of the congregation, I also saw the unmistakable light of something better: hope.
I return to my seat and the honor guard reappears. As they lift the casket off the stand, all of us rise with it and follow Wade Sturm outside toward his waiting hovercraft. We salute once more as he is carried aboard and the hovercraft lifts off for his final voyage back to his home in the mountains. As the ship disappears into the sky, a beautiful image enters my mind. I see a young boy named Wade who has never known pain or hardship, running through a sunny field of green grass toward another younger girl named Lucia. They are reunited after so many years apart and will never be separated again.
"Rest well, Sir. You've earned it."
I tried to call Lizzy just before the funeral, but couldn't get through to her, Katniss, or Peeta. Normally, I'd be worried, but considering the TECs didn't go anywhere near District 12 and three quarters of Panem is clogging the phone lines with worried calls to loved ones, I settled on trying again this evening. As the funeral crowd breaks up, all I want to do is return to my temporary apartment, talk to my wife, and crash between the sheets for a few hours…but no such luck.
A message from President Holmes tells me to meet her at the Legislature immediately. Even though it is only three blocks from the cathedral, I still have to take a car with Amelia to avoid the throngs of reporters desperate to get an interview with the enigmatic orating Colonel with Katniss Everdeen's Mockingjay pin and the last name of a former unpopular President. Those questions will have to wait for another day.
As Amelia and I arrive at the Legislature, we meet President Holmes in a private hallway just outside the main chamber.
"Captain Flagg, will you wait for us in there," she says gesturing towards the chamber doors.
"Yes, Ma'am," Amelia says respectfully before leaving us.
"Sorry, I know you must be about to collapse, Ares, but all of us decided to make this announcement to the country tonight without delay."
"And what announcement is that?"
"I think you know…" the look in her eyes says it all. The world is about to change in a big way.
"Understood, Ma'am."
"We actually would have done it sooner, but we had to wait for the guests to arrive."
"What guests?" I ask curiously.
"We thought it was important that Panem stands united for this. So, all of our old heroes will stand shoulder to shoulder with all of our new heroes."
"You mean like General Sturm?"
"Yes, he would have been one of them..."
"You know Ma'am," I say firmly. "Whoever you select to be the next Chief of the UDP Defense Forces will set a major tone for this conflict ahead. He or she can't be a politician…no offense."
"None taken."
" It is just that I want my next boss to be as much a warrior as General Sturm was. I can't work for a wimp."
"Well, luckily for both you and me, that decision is no longer in my hands," she says cheerfully.
"What do you mean?"
"General Sturm actually discussed this issue with me a few weeks ago, and he and I already decided on a replacement."
"And who is that?" I ask very irritated considering he and I never discussed it. President Holmes then pulls something from her pocket and tosses it to me.
"Just be sure you put those on before the announcement in there. I want the nation to know who the new kid in charge is."
I look at a black box in my hands. I open the lid and find two golden clusters of four stars: General's rank insignia."
She turns away from me and walks toward the Legislative Chamber. Without looking back, she smugly shouts one more thing before disappearing through the doors:
"Congratulations, General Snow."