CHAPTER XXXVII

To Bear the Cross

Bedivere tossed and turned. This was going to be another sleepless night, another one plagued with all of those horrible visions, visions he could not rid himself of. He stared up at the ceiling for some time, eventually bringing up his arm to look at the markings of the Nexus embedded into his flesh. Rather, this was not his flesh, but flesh born of pure magic, which had given him a replacement for the arm he had lost so long ago.

He could feel it inside this arm, the physical weight of his sin. No, it went much deeper than the Nexus. It drove all the way down to his very essence. The sin was part of who he was. He was the sin. The sin was him. There was nothing anyone could do to alleviate this pressure. He could only sit and bear it as it tore through him every single waking moment.

I will break her!

The words jarred him enough to almost fall out of bed. He squeezed his eyes shut. The mere thought of Weiss being corrupted to the core was what filled his heart with so much dread. It was the main reason he avoided her so much. That she was so terrified of that vision of the Wraith was more of a blessing, really. He was the greatest hazard to her right now. And it wasn't her physical health that he feared for. It was her very soul.

There was a knocking at his door. He quickly dried his eyes, stopping his sobbing.

Another knock.

"I apologize," he said, his voice breaking. He cleared his throat. "I am on my way."

He stood before the door to compose himself. Once he was satisfied, he slid it open. Yang forced her way in. He had no time to stop her.

"Yang, what on earth?" he said, shutting the door behind him and locking it. "What are you doing here?"

"What?" she said. "Do I make you nervous barging into your room like this wearing only my pajamas?"

"Yes. It does."

"Deal with it." She took a seat at a small table across the room from his bed. She let out a heavy sigh. She gestured for him to sit and he hesitated before joining her at the table.

"Can we talk?" she said.

"As long as it is mere talk this time," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "You owe me a story. Your story. Especially about that Wraith."

He flinched. She noticed.

"I wanna know what it is about this stupid thing that makes you wake up some nights in a cold sweat. Like right now."

He stood up and walked over to a cabinet.

"I wanna know what the hell it is that's scaring the fuck out of Weiss. Because I've known her. She does not scare easily. What did she see that the rest of us can't?"

He pulled out a bottle and two glasses, setting the glasses on the table and pouring a drink for both of them. He set the bottle down and retook his seat.

"What is it, Bedivere?"

He took a swig from his glass. The otherwise exquisite taste of this particular bottle of brandy was now like fire in his mouth.

"I already told you a long time ago that whatever you can't share with her you can share with me. Although, that's probably what got us into this mess to begin with."

He stood up, walking around with his glass, taking intermittent sips.

"I mean, c'mon, could it really be that bad? Does it have something to do with your real past? Like, did you accidentally kill the king—"

She gasped as he slammed his free hand onto the table, spilling some of her drink and knocking the bottle over. She looked up at him. His eyes were closed. After several seconds, he set his drink down and walked over to the window, staring outside at the moon, which reflected his broken state.

"You wish to hear my story?" he finally spoke.

She didn't answer.

"I am Sir Bedivere, a peasant boy who was taken into the temple and ultimately became a priest before being knighted as the first Knight Templar. I fought alongside my king and my fellow knights. We bled together, slaughtered together, suffered together, so that we might realize our vision of a united Albion, of a united Frankish Kingdom, a peaceful Persia, and trade routes extending the full breadth of Ecumene all the way to the Empire of the Sun.

"And we fulfilled that dream. And then Arthur abdicated the throne and granted power to the Senate, the House of Commons, and to the people. And then they plotted his assassination. These people, men and women Arthur trusted with his life and his kingdom, arranged for his murder. But that's not the worst of it. The worst part is that I fled. I ran from it all."

"Bedivere, we all run sometimes," Yang said.

"You are correct. But when you flee, does the consequence involve the corruption of everything you know?"

"Corruption?"

"You remember what you went through after the Wraith's emergence, correct? Also what you went through in that castle so long ago?"

She nodded.

"Imagine that, but instead of a single castle, or a single city, it takes over a group of cities. Whole swaths of land. An entire continent. All of the globe that you know."

"What...?"

"During our adventures, those of us most loyal to Arthur ventured into the World of Shadow in order to locate and obtain our Wraith halves, our counterparts that dwelled in the World of Shadow. Obtaining them would greatly increase our powers. Of the seven of us, only I did not fully assimilate with my Wraith. The rest did. Willingly. I chose not to do so because to give in to your Darkness is to shed what makes you human. I was not willing to make that sacrifice for a mere increase in magical potential.

"And when this arm, this Nexus, found me, I no longer had any need for my Wraith. So I let it go. I did not cultivate a relationship with it as my fellow Wraith-Knights had. And when my king died, I ran away. Into the depths of my own mind, I sealed myself up from the world. And in the void I left behind, the Wraith emerged. All of the guilt and sorrow and despair that I had left behind in my body, it absorbed. All of that combined with the Nexus in my arm amplified this effect by untold magnitudes. When I regained consciousness, the entire world had been plunged into a never-ending nightmare.

"I sealed up my Wraith after that. It took an entire decade to create all seven hundred and seventy-seven magical barriers in order to shut it out from the world. I had it contained for five hundred years, in the hopes that it would never again emerge and bring about a calamity so horrible."

He balled his fists.

"But, over everything else, the one thing I fear more than anything is that he will fulfill his vow."

"What are you talking about?" Yang said.

"The last thing my Wraith said before Caliburn's light forced him to slumber, was a vow, a vow that he would take the most important thing to me and corrupt her until all that remained of her light was irreversible, perfect darkness."

"Weiss," Yang said.

He nodded, taking a seat on his bed, letting his head hang. "I cannot control it anymore. The seals have been broken. At any moment, it could reemerge. And you would all be in danger again. I have tried leaving, but he won't allow me to. The instant I came upon the edge of Mistral, I felt him stir, threatening to take over my body again, his way of saying I wasn't allowed to leave."

"If this thing is so powerful, why doesn't it just outright take you over? Like right now?"

"The sun cannot be forced to set any more than it can be forced to rise."

"The hell does that mean?"

"It means it will happen eventually. It is only a matter of time."

"Like I said, what's stopping it from taking you over right this second?"

"I don't know. And that's what frightens me. And to be honest, I think all of this, everything that has happened, has been part of its plan all along, from you and I growing closer together to instilling terror in Weiss by showing itself to her, all of this was intended to create distance between me and her."

She thought about it. It was true that they were at its mercy when the Wraith first emerged. And the fact that it specifically threatened Weiss was quite disconcerting, but that it did not strike at her immediately or directly was more than cause for alarm. Just what did it have planned for them all?

"Why don't you tell her any of this?" Yang asked.

"This is my cross to bear," Bedivere said. "No one else's. Especially not hers."

She got up from her chair, dragging it along to set it in front of him before taking a seat on it again.

"What are you...?"

She took his hands in hers.

"Yang..."

"Don't worry," she sniffled. "I'm not gonna try and make out with you. It's just, sometimes, the simplest things are the best things. And when you've got such a heavy burden on your shoulders, human touch goes a long way."

She was right. As Yang's hands enveloped his, it felt comforting, like part of the burden was being lifted from his shoulders. But even then, nothing could ever erase his sin. With no more words to exchange between them, Yang left the room.

"Yang?"

She turned around to face Ruby, who rapidly approached her.

"What were you doing in his room?" the younger one whispered frantically.

"Nothing," Yang said, trying to hide her face from her.

"Nothing? And why are you always spending so much time with him? You know how Weiss feels about that! And...are you crying?"

She didn't answer.

"Wha? Why are you...?" After a moment, she turned and barged into Bedivere's room.

"R-Ruby! No!" Yang said, unable to stop her little sister.

Ruby stormed right up to Bedivere's bed. He was lying down, facing the other way.

"Why did you make my sister cry?" she demanded.

He didn't answer.

"I know you're not sleeping! Why is my sister crying? What did you do to her?"

"Ruby, he didn't do anything," Yang said.

"The heck he didn't!" She found herself sniffling.

"C'mon, let's go. It's none of our business."

"None of our business? It is our business!" She sobbed. "It's been our business! You don't think we've all thought about that day? Huh? How that, that, thing that came out of you screwed with our minds? And how everything has changed between you and Weiss?"

"Ruby," Yang said, trying to get her sister to leave with her.

"No!" Ruby said, shaking her off. "I don't know what you're going through, Bedivere, but you should at least understand that you're not the only one going through crap! We all are! I watched..." Her sobbing turned into crying. "...I watched as my sister, my friends, family, everyone, was taken from me. Nora, Ren, everybody else went through something similar. I don't know what the heck you went through, but..."

Ruby turned and ran into her sister, burying her head in her chest. Yang wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm sorry," Ruby said. "I d-didn't mean to yell at you. I know you've gone through more than all of us, but it's just...so hard. And seeing you and Weiss fall apart like this... You two were our strongest, you know? If you can get taken down, then what chance do the rest of us have?"

Yang leaned her head on Ruby's, stroking her hair as she gently rocked her side to side. "C'mon," she said, leading her out of the room. "Let's let him rest."

As Yang shut the door, she said one last thing to him.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. You deserve to be saved, too."

Bedivere pulled his legs in closer.

He did not deserve salvation.

He did not deserve Weiss.

—

Weiss looked around at dozens of unfamiliar faces in the Academy cafeteria. Breakfast today wasn't at the dorms, but at the common area, which was now fully staffed.

Oh, right, she thought. School is starting soon.

But these men and women weren't students. Some wore Atlas military uniforms. Winter's detachment. And others were clearly Huntsmen and Huntresses.

"What's going on here?" she said to herself.

"Something big, apparently," Yang said as she stood next to her. "I asked Uncle Qrow about it, but he had to leave before he could tell me anything."

Weiss spotted Winter, who was meeting with a group of her officers in the back of the mess hall.

"I don't think we'll be able to eavesdrop," Yang said, pointing out the guards that maintained a sizable buffer zone between their table and the rest of the population. "Also, notice Oscar's missing? And Blake's parents?"

"That means..."

"Yeah. Ozpin. I'm sure they're planning something big."

Weiss turned to her. "I need to ask you something."

Yang flinched. She wondered if Weiss had seen her in Bedivere's room last night.

"I...I was wondering if you could...you know, talk to him?"

"You mean your knight?"

She nodded.

"I already did, actually. Last night."

Weiss was surprised by her candor.

"And I don't think I should be giving you that information second-hand. You need to sit down with him."

"Huh?"

They watched as he entered the cafeteria at the far end. Qrow and Oscar were right behind him with Blake's parents and Hillphire also in tow. They all joined Winter and her officers at the table.

"Not now, I mean," Yang said. "Later. When everything quiets down. You need to really talk to him, Weiss. He has some heavy stuff to share with you. And no matter how horrible it sounds, know that none of it was his fault."

"I know it's not his fault," Weiss said. "But..."

"Tell you what. I'll go with you. If you feel like running, I'll stand right there with you."

Weiss let out a heavy sigh. What if she couldn't do it again? What if she would be overcome by terror again? Even now, despite being across the mess hall from him, she could not help but feel a sense of dread. That Wraith was still in him, that indescribable thing that nearly drove her to madness just from that one glimpse.

"C'mon. Let's get some breakfast in you before you start wasting away."

—

"So, that's the basic gist of things," Qrow said as they finished briefing the youngsters on the new assignment they had. "Oz?"

"Huh?" Oscar said.

"You're not Oz."

"Oh, hang on a sec." He switched consciousnesses. "We believe that our best chances lie with restoring communication between all of the kingdoms. And to do that..."

"We need to retake Beacon," Jaune said.

"Precisely. Now, the Coalition is only in its infancy, but I believe that in time we will even be able to get General Ironwood's cooperation. Winter's detachment is a significant boost to our fighting capabilities, but it's still a mere fraction of what the entire Atlas military is capable of bringing to bear."

"We've also gotten word from Vacuo," Winter began. "They're sending Huntsmen toward Vale as we speak."

"Now, are we sure they're actually gonna go?" Sun asked. "Cuz I know my people. And they like to stay out of other people's business."

"Salem made sure they'd see things our way," Hillphire said.

"What do you mean?" Blake asked.

"She's made her move. Tried to go after their Relic."

"So, that's not just a bedtime story," Ren said.

"Yes, which is why they hit us so hard two weeks ago," Winter said. "Shade was hit at the same time. From what I hear, so was Atlas."

"Is everyone okay back home?" Weiss asked.

"Yes, everyone's fine."

She sighed in relief.

"Wait a minute," Blake said. "You said that they hit us to find the Relics."

"Right," Hillphire said.

"They hit all of the academies. Because they all contain the Relics, right? What about Beacon?"

"That's one of the reasons we need to act quickly," Ozpin said. "Salem has been in control of Beacon for far too long. It's only a matter of time before she finds the Relic."

"Well, we need to go now!" Nora said, standing up.

"Hold your ponies," Qrow said. "We still gotta put together our army. Hillphire's tech is almost done, but they've apparently got some new shit up their sleeves."

"New shit?" Yang said.

"Grimm that can produce auras," Winter said. "One of my scouts encountered one not very long ago."

"Grimm with aura?" Ren said. "But how is that possible? They don't have souls."

"Not normally," Ozpin said. "Our enemy is cunning and ruthless. They have managed to combine the Grimm with artificial souls."

"You remember what I said about forbidden science?" Hillphire said. "That's literally what their Dr. Watts has done. I still can't figure out how the heck he did it, but he managed to place an artificial soul into a Grimm."

"From what we can tell," Winter began, "not only do they generate an aura, they are also highly intelligent, as intelligent as any human being, and are also capable of commanding the regular Grimm."

"And I thought that Nuckelavee was scary," Jaune said.

"So, we're looking at an army of super smart, indestructible Grimm?" Ruby said.

"Fortunately, there aren't that many around," Ozpin said. "At least, not according to what we've seen."

"Whatever the technique is," Hillphire began, "it seems to be quite resource-intensive and time-consuming. Still, we cannot delay. The more of these Omega Grimm are out there, the worse it gets for us."

"There's also the possibility," Penny began, "that the souls trapped within the Omega Grimm are separate consciousnesses. In the same way that I was trapped in my own body when I suffered catastrophic damage, they may also be trapped in bodies that aren't their own."

"So they might even be stealing souls," Hollie said.

"It's a possibility," Ozpin said. "We cannot be certain."

"Okay, when are we going?" Sun said.

"Forty-eight hours from now," Hillphire said. "The general plan is as follows: We will be approaching Vale from the east while Vacuo approaches from the west. It seems Salem's forces have begun fortifying there and Miss Glynda was forced to vacate to Vacuo herself. She will be joining their forces to liberate Vale."

"We will attack en masse by air," Bedivere said. "I shall lead the vanguard into the fray."

"You're leading from the front?" Weiss said.

"I always do, don't I?"

"Well, I mean..."

"I will be fine."

No, he wouldn't. He wasn't going to be fine and she knew it. Something would happen and his Wraith would be unleashed again and all hell would break loose. She wanted to run away again, but not out of fear this time. She just wanted the fighting to stop. If the price they were going to pay was this, the possibility of his light being snuffed out by that thing again, she'd rather get out altogether.

"Once again, teams will be arranged according to the usual," Hillphire said. "I will remain on Winter's command ship on standby coordinating everything from above. Teams RWBY and JNPR will move in behind Bedivere and Winter's advance shock troops. Qrow will support the vanguard with Oscar, Sun, and Hollie."

"Wait, we're on a team together?" Hollie said to Qrow, who winked back at her. She smiled and sank in her seat, turning red.

"Oh, my gosh," Ruby said, also sinking into her seat.

"Your uncle and Hollie need to get married already," Nora said to her, making Penny giggle.

"Nora!" Ruby whined. "Don't say that!"

"Oh, that's awesome," Sun said. "Team SHOQ. We all need to use lightning Dust."

"That's the general outline," Hillphire said. "Are there any questions?"

"Just one," Jaune said. "While we're off retaking Beacon, what's gonna happen here?"

"Hillphire's mass-produced power armor isn't as effective as his personal one," Winter began, "but they're effective enough to give a single soldier the strength of a seasoned Huntsman. Another attack like before would be easily taken care of with that additional firepower."

"Any other questions?" Bedivere said.

Weiss had a question. Why did he have to go out and fight? Why couldn't he just stay here with her?

"Very well. Get some rest. All of you. We have a serious mission ahead of us."

—

Bedivere took a swig from his glass as he stared out at the broken moon. The battle for Beacon Academy would soon be at hand and he needed to be at the top of his game. There would be no room for mistakes, not when their enemy was Salem herself.

There was a knock on the door. He didn't have to ask who it was. His Connection to her was unbreakable. He gave no answer at first. He couldn't bear to see her face, not when he was source of so much of her fear.

"Bedivere," Weiss said through the door. "I know you're in there. You haven't left your room since you got in and you're not the type to go jumping out of the window."

"It isn't locked," he said.

She looked over to Yang, who leaned against the wall beside her. She gestured with her head and Weiss opened the door, walking through. He remained standing where he was, staring out at the sky. She stopped several paces behind him. There was silence between the two for several minutes, both of them standing their ground, neither saying a word.

Her whole body shook as the fear began to wash over her again, but she wouldn't run this time. She would stand and fight. Still, she had to struggle with every ounce of strength she had available to her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and tried again.

"Bedivere," her voice cracked. "I wanted to talk with you."

"I'm listening," he said.

"That's not...that's not what I mean. I want us to talk. About everything...about the Wraith."

His hand twitched at the word. He shouldn't let this happen. He shouldn't let her get close to him. What if it took control of his body? He couldn't bear to think about being stuck in his own mind, forced to watch himself do terrible things to her.

"I...I want to bear your burden as well," Weiss said.

"You don't know what you're asking," he said.

"Maybe. I find that I'm in over my head a lot. Do you still remember when we first met?"

How could he forget?

"I thought I could save all those people all by myself. I thought I could take on hundreds of Grimm without my team. Instead, I got my butt kicked. And you had to swoop in and save me."

He smiled at the memory. He would give anything to go back to those days, back before his true past returned to him, back when all he had been was a summoned knight created to serve Weiss Schnee.

She walked over to his bed, taking a seat on it. He glanced over at her. Her shoulders were hunched forward, feet crossed, eyes to the ground. Bedivere noticed every detail about her posture and her manner of speech. She was small. Timid, even. Something was missing from her now. And it was his fault.

"I want to share the burden with you, Bedivere," Weiss said. "I don't care if it crushes me. Because you do deserve someone to walk with you when you're surrounded by the darkness."

She could feel his reluctance through the air. She turned to him, fighting against the fear once more. The more time she spent near him like this, the more intense it seemed to get. But that wasn't going to stop her, not this time. She got up off his bed and took him by the hand, the hand which was not his, the hand loaned to him by that Nexus.

Slowly, he turned to face her. The fear was at its highest intensity now and every single fiber of her being screamed at her to run away from him, but she fought through it all. She looked up into his hazel eyes, her own pale blue eyes flooding with tears.

"I refuse," she managed, "to be crushed by that thing any longer. Show it to me, Bedivere."

What?

"What is this sin that you bear?"

That was a word he had never uttered aloud, not to anyone.

"That word," she said, "nothing is heavier than that whenever your Semblance kicks in on reverse. Sometimes that's all I see, in big, bold, capital letters."

He closed his eyes.

"Bedivere, please..."

This was the breaking point for both of them. If he refused to let her in, there would be no turning back. He would be pushing her away forever. As much as this concept terrified her, the mere thought petrified him into inaction. But if he did let her in and what she saw was too much for her to handle, the outcome might be far worse. She might no longer see Bedivere and see only a monster, and that's only if the revelation didn't break her mind.

She wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes as she rested her head against his chest. This was it. He needed to do this now. She was right. If he could not trust her with this, then there would be no more point in any of it.

"I'm not going to tell you," Bedivere said.

She let out a heavy sigh of submission.

"But I do wish...to show you."

She looked up at him. His face showed hesitance, apprehension, utter fear. More fear than what was in her now. But she would let him see none of her own fear. She had gotten a glimpse of the hollowness behind his eyes. She could prepare herself for this psychic journey.

"Weiss," he whispered. "Are you truly sure about this?"

She led him by the hand to his bed and they took a seat at its edge. "If you really do mean those words that you've told me, then let me bear this burden with you. Let me take your sin upon myself."

He shook his head. "I would never allow you to be tarnished so."

"That's my choice to make, not yours. Let me be who I was destined to be: the one who bears your burdens when you can't go on."

He looked down. She took him by the hand, her fingers interlocking with his. He turned to her, his hazel eyes once again making contact with her pale blues.

"I'm ready, Bedivere," she whispered.

She looked around as her entire world was plunged into a perfect void. This was the same as when his Wraith had first emerged. She stood up from the bed, which was never there to begin with. What in the world was going on? Her heart raced as she closed her eyes, trying desperately to focus on him.

Bedivere, she thought. Bedivere, where are you?

She opened her eyes. The blackness had been replaced by a rusty wasteland, the sky a permanent hue of dark orange and crimson. Thunder intermittently rumbled from the distance, but there was no lightning to generate the noise. There was a presence behind her and she faced it.

Before her was an indescribable thing, a shapeless shape, a nonexistent something, a manifestation of illogic. It had no color. Not that it was black or white because those were colors. This thing simply contained no property to it that could be called a color. What she attempted to gaze upon was something that could not be processed by human minds. Her breathing hastened, her heart about to explode from her chest. Her head throbbed with pain as her mind attempted feebly to process this...thing before her. There was no concept in the cosmic order that could serve as a model for this illogical, incomprehensible phenomenon

She could feel her mind start to break and she had to turn away. Someone was standing beside her. She looked up. It was Bedivere, dressed in his full suit of armor. His face was painted with a look of absolute ferocity. She remembered this face from before. He wore it while he fought Adam, just before the Wraith took him over. But she also remembered it from her dream, the dream of his memory, when he fought alongside his fellow knights, killing their way to their goal.

She opened her mouth to speak his name, but no sounds emerged from her. She tried to look at that formless thing again, but failed. Each time her eyes landed on it, they turned away of their own accord, as if doing their part to preserve the integrity of her mind.

That is it, Bedivere's voice sounded.

She looked up at him. His lips weren't moving.

That is my Wraith, Weiss. That is the true form of the thing which turned this place into what it is now.

She opened her mouth again to respond to him, but as she spoke, she could hear nothing. Whatever was happening to her was also nullifying human speech.

I am speaking to you through our thoughts, Bedivere said. You can do the same.

W-What? she thought.

There.

But, how?

That's not important. Look around, Weiss. All of this is my doing.

Memories that were not her own flooded her mind. The Wraith was a separate being, but technically also one and same with Bedivere. It was the existence tied to him in the World of Shadow, a parallel plane of his home world where chaotic magic flowed freely across the land. The Wraith was Bedivere. Bedivere was the Wraith. In short, it was the darkness to his light.

She lived through the regret and pain and despair of him discovering that his king was dead, the king called Arthur, who had done so much for him, having helped him bridge the gap between those of magic and those of the mortal world. They had gone through life and death together and when Bedivere discovered of his assassination, his mind closed in on itself. In the void left behind by his mental collapse emerged the Wraith, which absorbed to full degree the totality of the negative emotions Bedivere had abandoned. Overcome, the Wraith itself lost control and caused all of that negativity to become manifested into the real world in a tangible way.

The Labyrinth that Weiss and the others had gone through was an amusement park compared to the hell on earth that this global cataclysm had brought to pass. Every single soul on the planet, all five hundred million of them, was pulled into their own Labyrinths and this collective purgatory became manifested upon the surface of the world. Reality had become unreality and the combined consciousness and subconscious of the entire planet had been formed into a tangible world, this world that Weiss now stood in.

The landscape was littered with unsightly horrors, human beings trapped in straitjackets of their own skin, human beings missing their skin altogether, human beings with torturous devices attached to their bodies. These were but a handful of examples compared to the myriad of unspeakable horrors custom-tailored to each individual soul.

This was hell. She was sure of it.

But the worst part of all this was not the grisly sights she gazed upon. The thing that tore away at her heart was the blame Bedivere took for it all. It was his fault that this happened. It was his refusal to bond with and cultivate his Wraith that allowed it to lose control like that. It was him fleeing that caused the untamed Wraith to emerge in the first place. Upon his shoulders was the weight of hundreds of millions of souls, condemned to live out the rest of eternity in this state of torment.

Weiss fell to her knees from the burden. She had promised to take the weight, but she could not even stand under it. Slowly, she made her way back up to her feet. She felt the sensation to cry, but there were no tears. She was more numb than anything else. This amount of self-loathing and hollowness was insane. She could feel all of it pouring out of him like a vapor, threatening to choke the life out of her.

No, she thought, fortifying herself. I am not going to give way.

She turned back to Bedivere. He was no longer standing. He was lying in his bed, curled up into a ball. The world around her returned to normal and she found herself falling to the ground as if a mountain had been dropped on her. Her whole body was trembling, heart rate all over the place. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't see or hear either. The emptiness swallowed her whole.

And then she heard his voice. No, he hadn't said anything. But he was calling out to her. She managed to turn her head to him. He had retreated further in from the edge of the bed, unable to look at her.

She struggled to her feet, tears pouring from her eyes. That experience may have been horrifying, but these tears weren't for herself. They were for him. She made her way to the bed, nearly collapsing several times, but she made it. She climbed upon the mattress, crawling her way to Bedivere.

His back was against the wall, frightened as a small child. He avoided her gaze, whimpering as he trembled. It took every fiber in her body to reach out and touch him. He instinctively recoiled from her, but she would not be deterred. She took him by the hand, lying down on the bed with him. She pulled his head close to her bosom, wrapping her arms around him, shielding him from the world.

Tonight, they would share a bed together, shedding tears in tandem. For a brief moment, they had become one. But now that she bore his sin as well, she could stay one with him. And even as much as it hurt all the way down to the depths of her being, she wouldn't have it any other way.