A/N: Honestly not sure where this chapter came from xD Like, I had 3 pages of a different chapter going and then was like "nah, fuck it, I can do this" and went back and wrote this chapter, so what I previously wrote will actually be start of next chapter. Funny how that worked out, I guess.

Anyway - um, rated M/R here, so xD I have never done detailed scenes (and this definitely isn't very detailed, but it's enough that it warrants a rating, so xD) like this for this particular fandom, or for Mass Effect. The last one was for Supernatural, years ago, and I do have some on my original stories, but for the most part I barely write such scenes, and it always makes me feel a bit awkward xD

But I TRIED OKAY, SO, YEAH I TRIED :D Please let me know what you think because I'm terrified of finding out gahhh

PS: Also, I got new meds from my neurologist, and halfway through this they started kicking in, so the last break (so last like, what... third? fourth?) of the chapter, I truly don't remember what I wrote xD I'll be reading it along with you guys when I can see straight because right now I can't even see what I'm typing but if I don't post this now, I'll chicken out, so xD

Chapter length: 5075

Onward!

Chapter Thirty-Five: Something Like That

Callum had always been a bit of a 'gropey' drunk – which sometimes made sharing a bed with Emry awkward but not unpleasant, he found – but he could say without a doubt he had never been this 'touchy' with Dorian. Not that he hadn't wanted to, of course. It just always seemed so complicated.

Except for right now.

Right now it seemed so wonderfully, beautifully simple.

But then that might have been the alcohol talking.

Dorian's lips were fire down his neck as they kissed, nipped and sucked at too-sensitive skin in all the right ways. His touch was bliss as nimble fingers moved across his body in feather-light touches. He couldn't remember losing his shirt, but he was currently naked from the waist up, and it wasn't enough. His clothes were entirely too constricting right now.

Judging by the bulge in Dorian's typical attire, he wasn't the only one who felt this way, which was more than a little satisfying. With each feather-light touch, more warmth shot through him, making his mind all the more hazy with this wonderful sort of fog. It was common of having sex, or getting ready to have sex, but he wasn't sure this was even going to go that far, to be honest. He certainly liked Dorian, was attracted to him and wanted to have sex at some point, but he wasn't sure if that would be right now. Thus far, even mentioning sleeping next to each other could be problematic, depending on what sort of mood the mage was in.

Of all the mages in the world, he had to choose the one with intimacy issues, and yet also a lack of intimacy issues. Dorian had no problem getting physical in the past, in Tevinter, but for some reason it was different with Callum, and the rogue wasn't sure what to make of this. Was this good? Bad? Was there something wrong with him?

Did he not please Dorian enough? Was he not attractive enough? Did Dorian not want that type of relationship with him?

Stop that – he does have an erection, you'll note. So obviously he likes you at least a little, like that.

His mind had a point.

And not just the point in his trousers, which was beginning to become painful with how trapped it was at the moment.

"Dorian," he breathed against sun-kissed skin, relishing in the way Dorian's lips nipped briefly at the shell of his ear, just enough to tickle, a breath against sensitive skin. "Is this… We're not stopping, right?"

Please don't tell me we're stopping.

Maker, he wasn't sure he could handle it if Dorian stopped him now. Stopped this from escalating. If he had to walk away with a limp due to the throbbing between his legs, and deal with this in private, again.

In response, Dorian kissed him silent, and whatever words he might have said were lost along the way. Their tongues connected in a dance of champions, and soon Dorian's robe was on the ground as well, leaving the mage only in his smalls. The sight was breathtaking. Dorian was perfect, but then, this was nothing new. This wasn't the first time Callum had this particular thought whilst looking at the mage in all of his nearly-naked glory. That didn't make it any less true, however.

It had been a long time since Callum felt this way about someone. Come to think of it, he realized, he might not have ever felt this way about someone. He'd had sex, sure, but he'd never dated. He'd never done anything like this, never felt like this with someone. It was why he felt so awkward, out of place – this was something new, surprising, exhilarating.

He both loved and hated this feeling.

Loved how new and wonderful it felt.

Hated how uncertain it left him.

Am I doing this right?

Was he doing something wrong?

He'd never done this before. How was he to know for certain?

Dorian couldn't answer these questions, either, of course; he admitted he'd never really dated anyone before, and he wanted more than just quick sex with Callum. Callum was all for 'more', even if he wasn't sure what it entailed. They could learn together, along the way.

Again, though, it might have been the alcohol talking.

But all alcohol really did was lower inhibitions. It was why people were often more truthful when they were drunk. Their filters were lowered, down, destroyed; what came through, in speech and action, was their truest thoughts and feelings.

And right now, Callum really wanted to do something about the bulge in Dorian's smalls. And his own, but right now Dorian's called to him more. Maybe if he did something to please the mage, this could happen again, and without all of this awkwardness.

Yes, he rather liked the thought of that.

He liked the thought of again, and more.

With Dorian.

Always with Dorian.

He hesitated only very briefly before his fingers toyed with the edge of Dorian's smalls, silently asking permission. He wouldn't do anything if it wasn't what Dorian wanted; he wouldn't force the mage into anything. But it was so incredibly hard to not do anything, to just look at him like this and not touch, not remove clothing, not-

"Amatus," Dorian said in that breathy, husky voice of his, which sent little tendrils of right all through Callum's body. His fingers closed along the lining and he carefully pulled Dorian's smalls down his hips and then his thighs.

They were at an awkward angle, here on the bed like this, and Callum nearly toppled off the bed entirely when he continued removing the last of Dorian's clothes, but it was worth it in the end. He flung the clothes away, the smalls forgotten the moment they left his fingertips, and then his attention focused on something much more important.

Callum had been with both men and women in the past, and they were both beautiful in their own ways. The women had soft curves and squishy lumps, if one was into that sort of thing. He admired them for their parts just as he admired men for theirs, but in the end he always returned to the men. He preferred the hard lines, the shadows hinting at muscles, the firm skin and pulsating members. Women were fine in their own right, and when it came down to it, the personality was truly what drew him to a person in the first place, but men… He liked men more.

Not that he'd ever truly done this before.

He'd only had sex in the past, nothing romantic.

Was this romantic? He truly had no idea.

He tried to think about his parents, because certainly there had been a time when they had been romantic, and it might give him something to compare this to, but in the end that only made him laugh.

Dorian's face brightened considerably. "Maker, why are you laughing?" he asked, looking absolutely horrified, and this only made Callum laugh harder as he held the mage down on the bed, ignoring Dorian's attempts to scramble away, out of sight.

"I'm not laughing at you, Dear," he said with a smile, attempting to bite back the laughter. "I just – I was comparing us to my parents and it… put a very dirty picture in my mind I'd rather forget, is all."

Dorian stared at him for a moment, the blush remaining, reddening his naturally darker skin, and making the soft brown of his eyes stand out all the more. "You see me… like this for the first time, and all you can think of is your parents?"

"Maker, when you say it like that…" And then Callum hung his head, resting his forehead against Dorian's wonderfully bare chest, as he tried to smother more laughs which bubbled up nevertheless. "I'm sorry, Dori. I'm new at this romance stuff."

"And you think I am a master?"

"Well…"

"I'm flattered you think so highly of me," Dorian said, smile evident in his voice, "but I am afraid I must admit to naivety when it comes to this sort of thing, Amatus."

"You say that, but then you go around calling me 'beloved'," Callum pointed out, grinning into Dorian's soft skin. He lifted his head, smirking at the blush on the mage's cheeks. "We'll figure it out, together."

Dorian smiled. "Together," he said, rolling it along his tongue. "Has a nice ring to it. I like it."

Callum grinned, kissing at the smooth skin of Dorian's chest as he began to slip lower along his body. Dorian's teeth bit down on his lower lip as he watched him, clearly knowing his intentions. Callum moved slowly, giving Dorian ample time to stop him if that was what he wanted, but when the mage simply stayed put and even arched up a little, into him, Callum grinned wholeheartedly and settled his hands on Dorian's hips, holding them onto the bed. He'd never not been in control, he realized with a touch of amusement. Perhaps they would have to toy with this next time.

Because there would be a next time.

Right?

Before the uncertainty could get to him, he took in a breath and then wrapped his lips around Dorian.

Dorian attempted to arch into him nevertheless, with this little, sharp intake of air which could have been a gasp or a sigh. Either way, it was pleasing to hear, and he hummed thoughtfully as he began to bob his head. Dorian's fingers fisted in the covers beneath them and he might have said something like 'Amatus', but by this point all Callum could really hear was the rushing in his ears, the beat of his heart.

I'm really doing this.

It was shocking, and wonderful, and perfect.

Dorian tasted amazing.

Taste had always varied from person to person, he'd found. There was the same, background flavor, but each person had their own touch to it as well. And Dorian's taste was quite nice along his tongue.

He rarely did oral like this; he never saw the point, when sex was so much faster without it. But this was Dorian, and he wanted to take his time with the mage, and he liked doing this. He liked hearing those little sounds Dorian attempted to hide, but he heard nevertheless. He wanted to hear them, wanted to hear more of them.

His own, neglected member twitched in protest, still locked in the confinement of his trousers. He ached to free himself but this was about Dorian. He could wait, Dorian could not.

He didn't want Dorian to wait.

If he gave Dorian time to think about this, he might run off again.

Or Callum would pull away and say something stupid, and it would lead to more misunderstandings and frustration. There had been too many of those already, and he'd been frustrated long enough. He just wanted this. He wanted this right now. He was so tired of waiting, and Dorian wasn't stopping him.

Later he could blame his over-eagerness on the alcohol, but for right now… right now, he was going to take what he wanted, because Dorian was letting him. He hadn't yet attempted to push him away or stop him, and all he had to say was 'stop', or something like it. All he had to do was say the word, or push at his chest, and Callum would stop, pull away, give Dorian his clothes… He would do whatever the mage wanted.

And it was in that moment he realized he might be in a little over his head. Of course, he'd known that since they started this… whatever it was, between them. He'd known he was in over his head because this was all new to him – the potential 'romance', the more… everything. But this… knowing that Dorian held such sway over him, over his actions…

It was terrifying and freeing all at once, and he'd never felt so conflicted in his life, but it was a good kind of conflicted, if that made any sense.

Then again, his mind was a little screwed at the moment, between the haze of alcohol and the sexually driven hormones.

He pulled away just as he knew Dorian was about to come for him. Dorian made this sound of protest, and Callum grinned at him, licking at his lips as he looked into Dorian's whiskey brown eyes. "Not yet," he all but purred, and Dorian swallowed thickly, staring up at him.

This was new for Dorian, too, he kept reminding himself.

All of Dorian's previous trysts had been chaste, quick, hidden; he didn't want that with Callum, which was why they waited, why they were taking their time… and it showed on Dorian's face, how much he wanted this, how uncertain he was…

At least Callum wasn't alone in that respect.

"Tell me, Dori," he whispered breathily, kissing his way up the length of the mage's sturdy, firm body, "what is it you would like me to do, hmm?"

Dorian snapped his mouth shut, swallowing again. His face was red, but then that was nothing new, even though it was still incredibly adorable. Callum lingered along Dorian's chest before making his way toward his neck, kissing the pulse-point in his throat before finally dragging his lips up to meet Dorian's own lips.

"I'm going to make you say it," he said quietly, into those soft lips, Dorian's mustache tickling his skin briefly, "and you know I'm going to make you, so you might as well tell me."

"You're terrible," Dorian said roughly, as Callum pulled away, giving him a chance to breathe properly.

Callum chuckled. "I've been called worse. You like this, though, yeah?"

He hated the touch of uncertainty hidden in his words. Dorian must have noticed, because he smiled faintly, catching his eye and holding his gaze.

"Yes, Amatus," he breathed, "I like this. Maker, a lot."

"Well, good. Then tell me what you want."

Dorian sucked in a breath. "Maker, the things you say." He closed his eyes.

"Hey, don't hide those pretty eyes from me," Callum chided, tapping a finger against his cheek, grinning when the brown eyes opened again. "Much better." He took in a slow breath. "So – it occurs to me that we are going to have sex."

Dorian cracked a small grin. "Something like that."

"Which is all very well and good, of course, but that does pose a question."

Hesitation. "Oh? And what is that?"

"Well, here's the thing – I've never bottomed. Well, okay, once, but I was really drunk and don't really remember, so it doesn't really count."

Dorian looked up at the ceiling, avoiding eye contact as he, too, took in a slow breath. "I have done both," he admitted.

"Yes, that. I was wondering. What would you prefer?"

"What do you prefer?"

Callum shrugged, trailing fingers down the smooth, warm skin of his mage. He smiled. His mage. Yes, he definitely liked that. "I would really like to dominate you, but that is really your decision, Dori."

Another breath from the mage. "Yes, that."

"Hmm?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

Dorian closed his eyes. "You're terrible. You're going to make me say it."

"I already told you that, Dori."

"Yes, I would also like you to dominate me."

Callum grinned wolfishly. "Hearing you say that was perfect, you know. Alright, Dori. I'm just going to get the grease."

A lot of the times he had sex, he rarely used the grease, or lube, whatever one wanted to call it. Mostly he used saliva, as it was usually when he was drunk, in a room at some tavern, after a successful job. But he didn't want to hurt Dorian, even accidentally, so he would use the grease.

Buying it was a random thought one day, when it occurred to him he actually did want sex with Dorian. It was after joining Skyhold, of course, after the merchants' shops were set up throughout the area. After having a near-death experience at the hands of a magister refusing to acknowledge the fact he was a darkspawn, one thought about such things – like what they wanted. And he wanted Dorian. And he thought ahead, just in case.

Just in case he got lucky and things went his way for a change.

He kissed Dorian's cheek and then rolled off the mage and left the bed to retrieve what he needed.

xXx

Maker, this is really happening.

Dorian felt childish for being so surprised and uncertain about all of this. He'd had sex before, after all; numerous times. It was all quick and meaningless, but that didn't mean anything, really. It was still sex. So he really shouldn't have felt so embarrassed right now, because really, if anything, the fact it was Callum should have made him feel more relaxed, not more hesitant.

But it was Callum, and that changed everything.

He could say honestly that he'd never felt this way before. How could he have, though? Even if his 'choices' were truly accepted in Tevinter, how would he know what this feeling was? He would have still been forced to marry someone he didn't like. He would grow to hate the person, just like his parents, and then eventually there would be a child involved in everything, further complicating things. Even if by some sheer, random luck he was allowed to actually marry the gender he preferred – and the thought itself was absurd – it would still be an arranged marriage, most likely. And there was no love to be found in such an affair.

But did he love Callum?

It was true that he called him 'beloved'… but it just seemed like an appropriate title for the rogue. Amatus. It all made perfect sense.

But actually coming out and saying – or thinking – those actual words…

He'd never felt this way before, so how was he to truly know if it was love, or some complicated blend between friendship and lust? Or was that what love was, anyway?

Maker, please stop thinking about this right now.

He watched Callum walk away from the bed. He'd yet to remove his trousers, much to Dorian's disappointment. He sat up just enough to keep an eye on the rogue as he made his way across the room, pushing his palms under him to hold himself up in this odd, half-sitting, half-leaning sort of way.

Callum eventually found what he was looking for, and returned to the bed. Dorian scowled at him, causing the rogue to stop, frowning slightly. The uncertainty in those copper-green eyes left his resolve hardening, his confidence returning, if ever-so-slightly. Dorian often felt confident, except for when it came to this, he found. When it came to 'more', and this.

"What?" Callum asked.

"Lose the clothes, Amatus, it's only fair."

A slow smile worked its way across the rogue's face, predatory and calm, and a shiver inched up Dorian's spine in all the right ways. Callum shucked off his trousers and kicked them aside, finally freeing himself from the confines of his clothing, and the look on his face said it all – that was much better.

Dorian was inclined to agree.

He'd seen Callum nearly naked before. He'd seen him naked in his dreams. But none of that could hold a candle to the real thing, he decided. Smooth, flat skin giving way to pulsating-

"Like what you see?" Callum all but purred, and Dorian swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.

"But of course," he said with a smile.

Maker, he felt like he was fifteen again, fooling around with someone for the first time. Which was truly ridiculous. He was a grown man, and it wasn't like he'd never seen someone naked before. It wasn't like he'd never had sex before. But somehow this was different, because this was Callum, and he wanted things to be different with Callum. Different than they'd been in the past.

Callum poured some of the grease into his open palm, before moving said palm toward his member. Dorian stared, knowing he should probably look away, but couldn't bring himself to do so. They were going to have sex, after all; he was allowed to look. They were… something, so he was allowed to look all he wanted, and he had no reason to feel embarrassed. This was Callum.

All the dreams rushed back to Dorian. The desire demons… everything.

Nothing could compare to the real thing.

"Let me touch you," he said without realizing he'd drawn the breath to do so.

Callum's eyes widened, pupil's blown in clear desire, and he nodded quickly before sitting on his knees on the bed in front of Dorian, hands held awkwardly at his sides like he wasn't sure what to do with them. Dorian took in a slow breath before he wrapped his own hand firmly around Callum's throbbing member, spreading the grease more along it. That would be inside of him soon. The thought was as exhilarating as it was terrifying, he decided.

He liked sex. Sex was good.

But this was Callum, which made it… more.

And it was terrifying, in a way, but also wonderful, and he was growing impatient.

It had been so long since he'd had sex. He blamed his eagerness on that, and on the fact he'd had dreams of the rogue for a while now.

"Dorian," Callum said in that husky voice of his, and it took all Dorian had not to pull the rogue toward him and make him hurry up, "touch me."

He already was, he noted with an amused smirk, happy to realize Callum was just as excited about this as he was. He continued his movements, slipping closer to the rogue. He would have kept going except for the fact Callum held out a hand, taking in a deep breath.

"Whoa, fuck, okay – um – if you want me inside of you, you're going to have to stop," he said breathlessly, smiling apologetically at Dorian. "It's – It's been a while."

"For me as well," Dorian reminded him.

Callum blinked slowly. "Um. Right. Yes, that. Okay, so – n-now?"

Yes! Dorian's mind screamed. Now! Right now!

"Now," he said around a thick, dry tongue.

Callum grinned. "I can start working you in now?"

"Y-Yes."

"Alright, Dori. Turn around." Callum poured some more grease onto his palm. Dorian eyed it, knowing he would have to be prepared first, but all he wanted right now was-

But that didn't matter, because this was logical. It had been a while, and this was new for both of them – well, new with them doing this with each other – and so this needed to happen. Had to happen. He would just have to deal with it and hope it was fast, so they could get to the good part.

He turned as instructed. He'd bottomed before, but no one had really bothered prepping him first. Only on his first time, really; after that he stretched himself, or just went with it. If it hurt, oh well, it was just part of it. Now, though…

Callum's cold, slick finger against his warm hole left him stiffening, but he relaxed as the rogue pushed inside. After some careful movements, another finger was added, and then another. Dorian bared with it, impatient for what he really wanted, eager anticipation nearly making him breathless.

By the time Callum deemed him 'ready', Dorian was about to just come out and tell him to just do him already. To ask him. Beg was a strong word, but it was on the tip of his tongue by this point.

But finally – finally – he felt the slick firmness of something else touching against his entrance; something much more important. He steeled himself eagerly. It had been a long time; he was allowed to want this. He was allowed to be eager, as he kept reminding himself.

"Fuck, Dori, still so tight," Callum breathed from behind him, and Dorian swallowed, closing his eyes as Callum pushed all the way in, finally, and then stopped, giving him a moment to relax and get used to his size. "Tell me when you're good, Dori."

Dorian took in a few deep breaths. Years since he had sex, and it was taking him longer than he would have thought for him to get used to it. The impatience won out over the mild discomfort, though, and he nodded, motioning for Callum to continue. He'd waited for this too long already; he just wanted this, now.

Callum moved, and it was perfect.

The pain – discomfort – gave way to sudden pleasure, shooting through him like a hot bullet. He gasped and arched his back even as Callum's fingers dug into his hips, keeping him firmly pinned on the rogue for the time being, but he was perfectly fine with this.

And then came Callum's chosen rhythm, with a few changes here and there; sometimes normal, fast, slower…

This continued for several long moments, and it felt amazing, but Dorian knew Callum was holding back on him. He just knew it. He tossed a scowl over his shoulder, and caught Callum grinning back at him.

And then finally he shifted a tiny bit and he started hitting that spot over and over, the pleasure boiled over.

xXx

Dorian came down from his haze of bliss sometime later, half-asleep and barely aware of his surroundings as he lay in bed with Callum curled warmly into his side. They were both still naked, but at least beneath the covers now. Callum had that little half-snore going for him – the deeper breaths which were almost snores, but not quite. His head rested against Dorian's shoulder while his arm was somewhere under the rogue, and he was quite sure he couldn't feel his fingers anymore, but he'd worry about that later.

Right now he just wanted to enjoy this moment.

For the time being, it was peaceful, and right.

It was late, too, and chilly. But then it was always cold in the frosty mountains. Skyhold was surrounded by the blighted things, so of course it was usually always freezing. Callum's quarters offered a nice view, with his balcony, but it also left the place rather chilly at times. Dorian burrowed further beneath the warm, soft covers, sighing contentedly.

The bright side was that Dorian didn't have to worry about anyone interrupting them right now. The down side was that when he walked out of here tomorrow morning, everyone would know what happened. They knew Callum was drinking, and they knew Dorian went up here to check on him… and never returned. And he would leave tomorrow, wearing rumpled clothing… and they would know.

Let them.

He didn't care what they thought, he decided. Once upon a time he kept secrets, in Tevinter, for the sake of 'title' and 'reputation', but now he didn't care. He liked Callum; he wasn't going to be ashamed about it like he used to be in Tevinter. This wasn't the Imperium; this was Skyhold, the Inquisition, and if he wanted to announce to everyone that he and Callum had sex, then that was what he was going to do.

He wouldn't do it, of course, but the thought that he could, and not be terribly perturbed about it, left him smiling nevertheless. It was progress.

He wondered, vaguely, what his parents would think if they saw him now.

If they saw him happy, with Callum. Would they see him happy, or would they say he was wasting his time, and then attempt to whisk him off back to Tevinter?

And the evening started off so wonderfully.

Callum shifted, hair tickling Dorian's nose since his own head was tilted that way as well. He rolled his head enough to look up at the ceiling while Callum slid closer to him, their legs a tangled mess. There was a leg against his thigh and he honestly wasn't sure if it was his other leg, or one of Callum's. It didn't really matter.

"Dorian…?" came the soft, tired voice, and Dorian lowered his gaze toward barely-parted copper-green eyes.

He smiled. "Hello, Amatus."

A big, goofy smile lit up Callum's face, only just visible from the moonlight and the candles across the room. "So it really happened, huh? Not a dream?"

Dorian smiled fondly. "No, Amatus, not a dream. It was real."

Callum relaxed further into him. "Thank the Maker. I wasn't sure I could seduce you again, if it wasn't real."

Dorian spluttered. "You – What – That was you seducing me?"

Callum chuckled, the vibrations tickling him. "It worked, didn't it?"

Dorian scowled at him. "Sometimes I wonder why I mess with you."

"Because you love me," Callum quipped back instantly, with that innocent little smile, and Dorian looked back up at the ceiling, taking in a slow breath.

"Yeah," he murmured, "something like that."

Fingers tapped at his cheek. "Hey. None of that."

"None of what?" he asked, dragging his gaze back to Callum's face, which was now equipped with a frown.

"No declarations of love or anything like that," Callum demanded.

"And why is that?" Dorian asked, mostly because he was just curious.

"You are not allowed to say you love me after we had sex; it's the hormones talking. Same for me, saying it to you."

"Then when would an appropriate time be, exactly?"

Callum shrugged, his shoulder knocking into Dorian's ribs somewhat. "I don't know – it should be spontaneous, romantic, quirky… I don't know. It just can't be right after sex, and definitely not during life and death situations. Hormones run high then, too, you know."

Dorian shook his head, smiling tiredly at the rogue's words. If he was being honest with himself, Callum's smooth voice was lulling him to sleep. "I'll… keep that… in mind…" he breathed, eyes finally losing the battle to stay awake, falling closed.

"See that you do," Callum said around a wide yawn. "Night, Dori."

He yawned. "Night, Callum."

"You can call me Cal, you know."

Dorian breathed in slowly. "I know."

"Okay. Just making sure."

He shook his head; this rogue was going to be the death of him.

"Night, again," Callum yawned.

"Night, Cal. Again."

Callum chuckled faintly, and then went silent.

And there in the peaceful silence of Callum's room, the two slept as though they'd always shared a bed, and shared a life.

A/N: So I really agonized over how these two should really 'get together', and here it is, I guess xD Hope it sounds okay! Thanks for reading and please review!

~Muffy the Dough Slayer~