It took a while for Leia to comprehend what she was reading. Han had sent her a message for her eyes only. The commander who had handed it to her had bowed his head with haste before returning to the party they were holding. Leia had locked herself away in the smaller control room, choosing to ignore her crew as they celebrated their victory. She could not deny them their happiness. They had fought against the First Order and won. It was no easy feat and Leia dreaded to think how many had died along the way. But she could not bring herself to celebrate, not when her son was almost lost to her.
But then the note had arrived from Han.
'Come to the Outer Rim. Dantoonie. Tell Erinn.'
What did Han mean? What did he want? Leia did not know. It was cryptic. It was too cryptic for her to truly understand, but she hoped that it meant that Ben was still alive. It was a small part of her that filled with that hope, but it was a part nonetheless.
….
"Why is he there?"
Erinn had managed to dry her eyes and compose herself in time to speak to Leia. They stood in Leia's home, along with Poe and Lanette. The pilot had the little girl in his arms, cradling her against his side as she draped her arms over his neck, her cheek on his shoulder as she kept her eyes closed, too tired to join in with the conversation.
"I do not know," Leia admitted. "That was the only message he sent me."
"You don't think…" Erinn trailed off, almost too scared to ask the question herself as she held Leia's gaze, the two women clearly thinking the same thing.
"I cannot say," Leia whispered and Poe took a sharp breath, shaking his head at the thought of Kylo Ren still being alive. "But we need to leave here as soon as possible."
"And you want me to fly you?" Poe asked with a small shrug. "Why else would you ask me here?"
Leia looked at Poe with a small ounce of sadness. She cared for Poe more than an employer would for an employee. She had seen him grow from a cocky young man to a confident and competent pilot. She had trusted him with some of her greatest missions and he had never let her down. He had always believed in her and respected her.
"No one can know of us leaving," Leia informed him. "You are the only pilot I trust, Poe."
"Yeah, I figured," Poe said with a small sigh. "But if he is alive and out there then what do you intend to do? Everyone thinks he is dead."
"Let them think that," Erinn was the one to speak up, turning to look at Leia with pleading in her voice. "Let him stay hidden. Bringing him back here…a trial…they will still want him dead."
Leia did not nod nor shake her head. Instead she remained silent and pensive, her eyes on Erinn as she gave nothing away. She played everything close to her chest, that way no one could know her true thoughts. It was safer for her to be that way. It always had been.
"We will discuss the situation when we arrive in the Outer Rim," Leia promised the girl she regarded as her daughter. "But first we need to get out there."
….
"Hey."
Poe looked up from the control panel of the ship he had been tasked with flying to see Erinn take the co-pilot seat, sinking into the leather and resting back, curling her legs underneath her as Poe allowed the ship to fly steadily, his hands holding the controls as his gaze set on her.
"Hey," he simply said back.
They lapsed into silence then. Both of them had so much that they wanted to say to each other, but they didn't know how to begin. Poe wanted to beg Erinn not to do what he thought she was going to do. If Ben was alive then she would beg to runaway and go into hiding with him. She would plead for that to happen. But that meant taking Lanette. Erinn wanted to promise Poe that he would be able to see Lanette whenever he wanted to. She knew that the pilot considered himself to be a father figure to her, and he had been. He had been there when Ben had not been.
He had been there through thick and thin. He had been a constant for both Erinn and Lanette. Yet Erinn could not bring herself to love him. She loved Ben. It would always be Ben.
"You know, don't you?" Erinn finally managed to ask from Poe and the pilot scoffed, his face scrunching up as he went back to focusing on the galaxy in front of him.
"What you want if he is alive?" Poe clarified. "I know what you want, Erinn, and you know what I think."
It was Erinn's turn to scoff then. "I have always known what you think," she assured him. "And I have always known what you want."
"Then you know that I want you to come back with me regardless of what we find on Dantoonie," Poe told her. "A life on the run is not healthy, Erinn. A life running from anyone who threatens you…hiding in the shadows…"
Shaking her head, Erinn allowed her hair to bob around her shoulders as she turned to look to Poe. "Everyone thinks he is dead. No one truly knows him without his mask. They know Kylo Ren, but they do not know Ben Solo."
"And that is a risk you are willing to take?" Poe asked, but held his hand up to silence her as she opened her mouth to begin to speak. "Don't answer that. I know the answer. You'd do anything for Ben Solo, but he would never do anything for you. He would never go out of his way-"
"-Don't," Erinn demanded from Poe. "Don't go there."
"You know I'm right."
"Maybe," Erinn said. "But you know I love him and nothing will ever change that. I have tried to stop, but I believe that there is goodness in him. I have seen it."
"It does not erase the past."
"But it is a start," Erinn replied. "I know that you do not like this."
"I hate this," Poe replied, looking to Erinn with wide eyes as she saw the anger burning inside of him. "You don't understand how much I hate this, Erinn. I…do you think that I haven't tried to stop loving you? That I want to move on…find someone who cares for me?"
Erinn groaned lightly, trying to keep the nose suppressed as she struggled to look Poe in the eye. The pilot only moved when she looked away, his hand moving to take hold of her chin and turn her gaze onto him. She allowed her eyes to roam his features, taking in every single drop of him that she could.
"I want you and Lanette to be happy and if that means not being with me then so be it," Poe informed her, "but being with him…I worry for both you…for your safety."
It took a minute before Erinn dared to take hold of his hand from her chin, lacing her fingers against his.
"I don't want Lanette to be without you," Erinn informed Poe. "I don't want to never see you again, Poe, but I can't give you what you want."
Poe sighed then, giving her hand a soft squeeze before looking back to the controls as Erinn watched the pilot with a soft stare. Moving with haste, she stood up, keeping his hand inside of hers before she bent down to kiss him on the cheek, allowing her lips to linger there for a few moments.
"I'll always love you, Poe," Erinn promised him, "but only as a friend."
"Yeah, I guessed," Poe declared. "And I will always love you, Erinn…despite everything…you and that little girl of yours."
"Oh, I don't think you'll be getting rid of Lanette easily," Erinn chuckled, dropping Poe's hand and squeezing his shoulder as she began to leave the cockpit and move back towards her daughter and Leia.
….
Han didn't know how long he had sat beside his son's bedside, his hand on the boy's forearm as he slept soundly. His wounds had been patched up and his body mended to the best of its ability, but he was still weak. Ben was still too weak to do anything more than open his eyes.
Cheewie had moaned and groaned at being kept in the confined space, but Han had told the Wookie to keep his mouth shut. The healer had done her work and only returned every morning and night to give Ben the medicine he needed. She told Han it was a miracle the man was still breathing and living, but Han had merely stated that Ben was strong. He was stronger than anyone Han knew.
The room they were in was small and cramped. The bed was against the window but the curtains were firmly shut. The planet was mainly abandoned due to its location, but Han did not complain about that. They were in the middle of the forest in a small abandoned stone building with only three rooms. There was no one around for miles, but Han knew that was a good thing.
He had sent his message to Leia almost two days ago and he had no doubt that she would be nearing them. His suspicions were only confirmed the following day when he heard noises in the distance. He had sent Cheewie out to scout the planet, telling him to look out for Leia and Erinn.
But he had returned eventually with the two women in tow. Han stood up from Ben's bedside, his hand automatically reaching to his belt for his weapon in case it was some form of trap.
But it wasn't.
It took another few minutes for the steel door to open, revealing the darkened room that Han occupied. He watched on as Cheewie held the door open and Leia stepped through the door with Lanette and Erinn in two. The small girl held onto her mother's hand with anticipation, tugging at it harshly in worry as they entered the room. Poe followed on, also holding his blaster tightly to him.
"Ben." Erinn's gasp echoed through the room as she dropped Lanette's hand and rushed towards Ben's bed. She knelt by the side of it, her hands moving to take hold of Ben's hand as Leia placed a hand over her mouth in shock.
"How…" Leia trailed off as her husband embraced her quickly and then moved to his granddaughter who rushed to hug him too.
"I know a healer here," Han said. "I paid her to keep quiet about this. No one knows he is here except us in this room and her, but she will keep quiet."
"What happened to him?" Erinn wondered her hands moving to push his hair back from his face in a soothing manner as she felt the coldness of his skin.
"Snoke hurt him pretty bad," Han declared and Lanette moved towards her mother, looking down to her father with her eyes wide and wet, almost as though she was close to tears. "I found him before we destroyed the planet…we had Hux…but he wouldn't surrender."
Erinn felt another tug in her chest at the mention of her brother. She closed her eyes and looked downwards, her tears falling from her cheek onto Ben's chest. She remained silent as she thought of Andrew. He had helped to save her. After all that time he had helped to save her in the end, choosing to do the right thing. Shaking her head back and forth, Erinn struggled to think of her brother. Despite all of his faults, she still remembered him as the little boy who would do anything for her. He had been that little boy again, only if it had been for a few fleeting moments.
Andrew Hux was not born a monster, but her father had turned him into one. She only wished that she had been able to save him like her mother had saved her.
"Andrew would never have surrendered," Erinn said, sniffing once and looking to her daughter who was against her side. Wrapping her arm around Lanette, she bent down to kiss her on the top of her head. "He was too in love with the First Order, but he was not…he was not wholly bad."
No one agreed with her on that matter. Instead they all remained silent, watching as Ben slept soundly.
"I should do a sweep of the area," Han suddenly spoke, knowing that his son was now in good care with Erinn. "Check that we haven't been compromised. Leia…"
Han spoke her name, urging for her to join him. She kept hold of his hand as she watched her son sleep. Nodding once, she knew that she had to speak with Han of what she planned to do. Coughing, Poe nodded and agreed to go with Cheewie to make sure everything was secure, leaving Erinn and Lanette to sit by Ben's bedside.
Erinn took the seat that Han had previously occupied, allowing Lanette to crawl into her lap as she held her daughter tightly to her side.
"Will he be okay?" Lanette suddenly wondered, not once taking her eyes from her father, clearly just as worried about him as everyone else despite her not truly knowing him.
"He will be fine," Erinn managed to promise, not entirely sure if she believed her words. "Your father is very strong. No doubt he will do everything he can to get better."
"And then what?" Lanette dared to ask from her mother. "Will we be a family? Will he stay with us? What about Poe?"
"I don't know, Lanette," Erinn said, frowning softly. "I hope that we can be a family, but I know that you love Poe and he loves you. He would never abandon you and I would never take you away from him. Is that okay? But…your father…I think he would want to be with you…be a father. Would you like that?"
Shrugging, Lanette didn't entirely know what to say. All of this time she had thought of her father as a bad man. He had done bad things. He had taken her from her mother. He had hurt her mother. But yet Lanette saw something else. She saw that he was kind. He had protected her. He had saved her from Snoke. He had protected her and kept her with him. She had seen that he did love her.
"I think so," Lanette answered.
Smiling, Erinn kissed her again on the top of the head, watching Ben for what seemed like an age. It was a while before the man opened his eyes groggily, his fingers curling and then un-curling as Erinn watched motion sleepily. Lanette jumped from her mother's lap and stood by the bed as Erinn knelt on the floor, her hand shakily moving to Ben's wriggling fingers, taking them inside of hers.
"Ben," she whispered his name. "It's okay. You're safe…we're all here…"
"Erinn," Ben managed to whisper her name. "It's you."
"It's me," Erinn smiled to him, moving her other hand to stroke his cheek. "I'm here with Lanette."
Ben managed to move his gaze to his daughter then, seeing her look at him with caution as she stood by her mother's side.
"I thought…" Ben trailed off, unable to tell her what he thought. He thought that it had all been over. He thought that he was finished, but he had managed to cling onto his life. He had refused to let the darkness take hold of him.
"You're safe now," Erinn assured him with a small smile. "It is all over."
…
It was another week before Ben was able to move from bed. They had all remained on the planet with him, but Poe had kept his distance, often patrolling with Cheewie or Han. No one spoke of the future. Leia had not dared to bring it up until Ben was better than he was.
"I need to do this, Erinn," Ben complained as she wrapped her arm around his waist and tried to help him walk around the stone walled room. "I have to walk. I am strong enough."
"I'm just trying to help," Erinn responded. "You shouldn't try to do things too quickly."
"I'm bored of laying in that bed," Ben informed her.
Rolling her eyes, Erinn ignored his complaining as she kept her arm firmly around him and they just moved slowly.
"You're up."
Leia's voice suddenly entered the room and Erinn nodded with haste, looking to Ben who was frowning at the sight of his mother, knowing full well that he was going to have to have this conversation with her. He needed to know his future. She entered the room with Lanette in tow, both of them closing the door as Erinn helped Ben to sit down on the edge of his bed.
"He's pushing himself too far," Erinn complained to Leia. "I told him to try not to walk until he-"
"-I need to move," Ben interrupted with annoyance.
"He does," Leia agreed and Erinn frowned, wondering exactly what that meant as Leia sat down in the chair by the bed and Lanette moved to sit in between her mother and father, allowing Erinn to drape her arms around her shoulders as Ben merely looked down to Lanette, his hand awkwardly moving to pat her forearm as she looked up to him.
"I have been speaking with Lanette," Leia said, giving her granddaughter a smile. "And she has told me that she wants to go away for a while…with her mother and father…"
Erinn looked down to Lanette who nodded. "I want to go away for a bit, but I want to go home eventually."
"But we have agreed that home cannot be D'Qar," Leia said and Erinn wondered when they had discussed this in such detail. "But Lanette is happy for home to be wherever her family is. Han and I have discussed leaving for some time, but now…we want to go somewhere else…and Poe…I am leaving him in charge of the base, but he has promised to visit Lanette as often as possible."
Ben clenched his jaw at that news, but he did not disagree with that request. He knew that his daughter would always have a soft spot for the pilot.
"And then when the time is right you would come to us," Leia said. "We will try to right the wrongs of the past…if possible…"
Ben frowned then, his gaze meeting his mother's as she watched him with wonder, knowing full well that Ben wondered if he could ever right his wrongs. But he was their son. They were willing to try.
"And you are sure this is what you want?" Ben doubled checked with his daughter. "You want us to go away….your mother…you…and me?"
Nodding, Lanette watched her father with intrigue. "You're my father," Lanette said. "I…I want to know you…and…"
She was clearly struggling to say what she wanted, but Ben understood. He was not a natural with words either. All he could do was offer his daughter his hand, waiting for her small fingers to fill his palm. She moved hesitantly, but she did let him take her hand.
"I understand," Ben promised her.
….
It was another week before Ben was even well enough to walk on his own. And it was then when it was decided they should leave before suspicion was raised. Standing outside by the Falcon, Poe had agreed to let Ben and Erinn take the ship they had travelled in.
Shaking her head slowly, Erinn considered what Ben was going to do as he wandered towards the ship, his parents stood beside it as Erinn wandered behind, her hand holding Lanette's tightly.
"Ben…" Leia whispered her son's name as she saw him and he looked to her.
He wondered how she could bare to look into his eyes. After all he had done, he was being given another chance to right his wrongs. His mother and father were willing to forgive him, but more importantly, Erinn and Lanette were also willing to forgive him. He could not pretend that he had done everything under Snoke's control. He had been just as willing, but now he saw. Now he understood how he had been manipulated.
"Mother," Ben finally managed to speak back as Poe stood to the side, his arms folded before he caught Lanette's gaze.
Lanette tugged on her mother's hand before Erinn looked across, allowing Ben to let Leia embrace him. Smiling to her daughter, she nodded and released her hand to let her go to the pilot. Poe picked her up quickly, spinning her around as her arms wrapped around his waist. Erinn should feel guilty for doing this. Poe had been there for Lanette and he would do anything for her. Now Erinn was taking her away from that safety.
But Lanette wanted to know her father. She was inquisitive and she had always wanted to know her father. Now she would have her chance. But she would still see Poe.
"Promise that you will write to me, got it?" Poe asked of Lanette. "And I'll come and visit you when I can."
Nodding, Lanette agreed, burrowing her head into Poe's neck as Erinn watched them.
"Look after yourself," Poe whispered to Erinn. "And if you want to come back then let me know, got it?"
Smiling, Erinn knew that Poe was simply looking out for her. Nodding in agreement, she took Lanette's hand once Poe had placed her back on the ground. Lanette burrowed by her mother's side as Erinn quickly squeezed Poe's arm and kissed his cheek.
She turned back to Ben, watching as the man turned back to his daughter and Erinn. Offering Erinn his hand, Ben waited with patience until she took hold of it, her fingers lacing through his in the most natural manner she could feel. Closing her eyes, she allowed Lanette to bid farewell to her grandparents, laughing loudly as Han tossed her in his arms and Cheewie growled loudly in amusement. Leia looked on with a roll of her eyes before wrapping her arms around her granddaughter who was still in her grandfather's arms.
"Hey kid, look after yourself, got it?" Han spoke to her. "I don't want to hear any news of you being a nerfherder, got it?"
Laughing, Lanette let her grandfather ruffle her hair as he placed her down.
"I am sure she will be as good as she always is," Leia declared, her hand on Lanette's shoulder as the little girl moved to take her mother's hand again.
"We can hope so," Erinn agreed, stroking her daughter's hair as she took her hand from Ben's.
It was a strange moment, boarding the ship and letting the door close on the people you had grown to know as your family. Erinn felt her eyes well with tears as silence engulfed them and she closed her eyes, the feeling of Ben's hand on her back enough to make her look at him.
"We'll be okay," Ben informed her. "I promise, Erinn, everything will be fine now."
"I know," Erinn assured him before they moved to the ship's cockpit.
"Lanette," Ben spoke his daughter's name as he took the pilot's chair and his daughter looked over to him, clearly cautious as she moved to him.
Ben wished that he could erase the feeling of nerves she felt. He could not blame her for the way she looked at him, but he only hoped that in time she would come to see him as her father. He wanted nothing from her but her love. But he had to earn that. He had to take his time and gain it from her. But he would do it. He had no choice.
"Why don't you come and help me fly the ship?" he suggested and his daughter's eyes widened as Erinn kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt their moment.
She smiled softly as Lanette moved forwards, holding her hands in front of her as she stood by her father's side. It took only a moment before Ben was instructing Lanette on what to do, urging her to press buttons as she looked on in wonder. It only took a few minutes before the ship rose from the floor and Lanette laughed loudly as Ben smiled over to her, the noise causing his stomach to warm with joy. He continued to point to buttons as the ship hovered above air and Erinn moved to sit in the co-pilot's chair before the ship tumbled forwards lightly and Lanette lost her footing.
Wrapping an arm around her waist before Erinn could get to her, Ben took hold of his daughter to stop her from falling as he kept her upright and the ship levelled out.
"Okay?" Ben checked with his daughter and she nodded to him softly, her gaze meeting his as Ben nodded with a soft smile and moved to take his arm from her, but his daughter surprised him.
She dared to keep hold of his hand. Ben looked shocked at the motion, but Lanette did nothing but keep her small hand inside of his. Erinn watched with caution as Lanette used her free hand to point to another button on the panel.
"What does that one do?" she managed to ask from her father who began to tell her.
Smiling on, Erinn kept silent as Ben and Lanette spoke. Only once did Ben catch her gaze and she saw the look inside of his eyes. It was a look she had not seen in a very long time. A look she had only seen when she had been with him on D'Qar as a young woman. And then she knew. She knew that her Ben was back.
….
A/N: And that is it! We are finished with the story. Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with this story. I hope that you have enjoyed it and do leave me one final review.