Chapter 37

Thursday, September 6, 2012

I startle awake and have no idea where I am. The soft whoosh of the ventilator is the first sound I hear, and I bolt upright, my eyes flying to Edward. The events of yesterday hit me like a tidal wave, and I gasp.

Edward is in the ICU now, fighting for his life against pneumonia.

And he's fighting because he loves me and wants to be with me.

These are the only two thoughts that mean anything as I stumble across the room, needing to see and feel him. I close my eyes against the sight of him, not prepared for the shock of it in my half-awake state, and I draw in a slow breath as I remember what he looked like yesterday. I don't want to get used to it, but I can't freeze up every time I see him either. Just focus on whether he looks better or worse than yesterday.

With the image from yesterday in my mind, I open my eyes slowly, and I can still breathe. He doesn't look any worse than he did yesterday. Sweat is beaded on his forehead, so I go get a cloth and wipe him down. His brow furrows as I touch him, but his eyes don't open. He feels just as warm as he did last night.

"Good morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep?" I ask, trying to sound "normal," whatever that is. A tear slides down my cheek as I stroke the hair away from his forehead. I truly hate seeing him like this, but it is better than the alternative. He's going to beat this, then he's going to go back into treatment, and we're going to get to have a life together. I was weepy and overwhelmed yesterday, but this morning, I'm feeling a bit stronger. If Edward was strong enough to make it through yesterday, I can make it through today. We can both make it through today.

Rosalie comes in to check on Edward, and I take the opportunity to get dressed and grab a bagel from the cafeteria. When I come back, Rosalie is gone, but Edward looks as if he's been freshened up, and he's in a hospital gown. He'll be much happier being covered when he wakes up, and I have to admit his appearance is less of a shock now that his lymph nodes and most of the rash are covered. This is the way I'm used to seeing him, except for the ventilator tube, and I find I'm able to handle it much better.

I spend the morning sitting with Edward, holding his hand and wiping the sweat from his skin. He's restless. The sedative keeps his motion down to little jerks, but I know if he weren't medicated, he'd be rolling his head in his delirium. The nurses bustle in and out, checking his IV and vital signs much more frequently than the nurses on the oncology floor. I'm pretty sure they did it all through the night, too, but I was too exhausted to notice.

I talk to him all morning, and it keeps me from thinking about how bad things are right now. Hopefully, he can hear my words, or at least the sound of my voice, and be soothed by it. I tell him I love him. Then I share more stories of my childhood—lots of interesting things happen when a gruff, clueless police officer is left to raise a quiet but willful little girl all on his own. I hope Edward will get to meet Charlie. We aren't extremely close, but he was the first man I loved, and his opinion still counts. I had already been having thoughts of asking Dad to come for the holidays. I realize I've stopped talking to Edward, so I shake myself a little and launch into a new story.

I'm in the middle of telling Edward about the time my dad tried to teach me to put a worm on a hook, but instead, I took his worm bucket when he wasn't looking and buried all the worms so they could be free, when Jasper puts a hand on my shoulder. I jump a little, but I smile up at him and cover his hand with mine.

"How is he this morning?" Jasper asks, his eyes riveted on Edward.

"The same. His breathing is stable, but his fever is high, and he's restless. I was hoping that talking to him would calm him."

"I'm sure it has," Jasper says confidently. "Has he been awake at all?"

"Not really. They have him sedated because of the vent and the high fever, so he's sort of awake but really out of it. He's opened his eyes a few times, but he's not really 'here,' you know?"

Jasper nods, pursing his lips.

"Just talk to him. He's still in there even if he can't respond right now. And it's likely he's hearing everything we're saying when he's awake, we just don't know how much of it he'll remember."

Jasper nods tightly again, but his face softens when he sees my furrowed brow. "Sorry, Bella. I'm still trying to get used to the idea of seeing him like this."

"Don't get used to it," I snap, my words coming out harsher than I intended. I take a deep breath. "He's not going to be here long enough for us to get used to it."

Jasper is silent, his expression betraying his doubt, but I can't go there today. The key to staying strong is believing everything is going to be okay, so I'm holding fast to my belief.

"What time does Elizabeth land?" Jasper asks, changing the subject.

I glance at my watch. "Around twelve-thirty, so I really need to get going. We should be back by two."

"Don't worry about us," Jasper says, waving me off. "I'm just going to chew Edward out for having a DNR while you're gone."

I breathe in sharply, and Jasper chuckles.

"You said talk to him! This is guy stuff—don't worry about it," he tells me with a twinkle in his eye.

If I didn't know how much he cares about Edward, I would be slightly worried about this, but as it is, I just smirk at him. "Call me if anything changes."

"Of course," he replies, putting a hand on my arm as I rise to give him my seat.

I lean over Edward's bed and kiss his cheek. "I'm going to get your mom, but I'll be back in a little bit. I love you. Don't let Jasper give you any shit."

Edward doesn't respond at all, but Jasper chuckles. Yeah, they'll be fine while I'm gone.

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The ride to the airport isn't long, and I soon find myself waiting in baggage claim for Elizabeth. I spot her before she spots me, which is a good thing because it gives me time to openly gawk at the large bruise on her cheek. My stomach clenches, knowing what I know about Edward and his father. Edward said his dad never laid a hand on Elizabeth, but I don't think that's true … not anymore anyway. By the time she sees me, I've managed to get my reaction under control, and I smile at her as she comes over.

She approaches me slowly, obviously nervous. "Hi, Bella. Thank you so much for coming to pick me up. How is Edward?" she asks as she puts her arms around me.

I wasn't expecting the hug, but I put my arms around her and squeeze gently. When I hear her wince, I let go quickly. Oh, shit. Again, I have to control my reaction because it's blatantly obvious that bastard has beaten her, thoroughly and recently. But now isn't the time. Whatever happened, she's here for Edward now, so I keep the focus on that.

"He's no worse than yesterday. He's still in the ICU with a high fever, but his breathing is stable on the ventilator. We just have to wait and see."

A tear slips down her cheek, and despite everything she did in the past, I feel for her. She's trapped in a bad situation, and she made some poor choices, but she seems like a good and caring person. I can see Edward in her.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. He's young and strong, and he's fighting to come back to us. We'll all get through this."

Elizabeth sniffles and wipes her eyes, doing her best to keep her left cheek turned away from me. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just got him back, and I'm not ready to lose him again. Maybe after I see him, I'll feel better."

I just nod and help her gather her bags. On the way back to the hospital, I fill her in on everything that's happened in the last week since she talked to Edward. The last time they spoke was last Monday, right before everything started going south.

She gasps when I tell her about the DNR and how we almost lost him yesterday. She covers her face in her hands as I pull into the parking lot, struggling not to break down.

"Oh my boy; I had no idea how bad things had gotten for him! That he would just decide to give up and die alone? I'm a horrible mother!"

"No, you're not," I soothe. "You just made some bad choices, but now you're unmaking them. He's going to be so glad you're here. It means so much to him!"

"But I could have done so much more. I should have!" she cries, tears streaming down her face.

"But you didn't know. How could you have known?"

"I should have never let his father tear us apart, and even after that, I should have looked for him. I j-just thought there was so much time for us to make things right! He's so young!" I pull her into my arms, and she sobs on my shoulder as I rub her back, trying to hold myself together.

"Holding on to regret only hurts you," I tell her, fighting to keep my voice steady and to keep my thoughts from going where I no longer allow them to go. A few tears escape down my cheeks despite my best efforts to contain them. That's all I'll allow myself.

"You're here now, and he knows how much you love him, Elizabeth. You're doing all you can now, and that's the best thing you can do."

Elizabeth huffs out a breath and puts her head in her hand, but at least, she's not tearing herself down. She's quiet for a moment, but once she's regained some composure, she looks over at me.

"I need to see him."

To be honest, after this conversation, I feel the need to see him too, so by silent agreement, we both get out of the car and head for the sixth floor. When we get to Edward's door, I put my hand on Elizabeth's arm. "He looks bad, but patients in the ICU always look bad. He's going to fight his way out of this."

She nods nervously, and I push the door open.

Elizabeth's hands fly to her mouth the minute she sees him, and she stands frozen, just as I did yesterday. I glance over at Edward, and although the familiar stab pierces my heart, I'm not shocked anymore. He looks no worse than when I left, so I breathe a small sigh of relief. Unfortunately, he looks no better either.

As I shepherd Elizabeth into the room, Jasper turns toward us, and several things happen at once. Jasper glances at Elizabeth and does a double take then stands abruptly. "That bastard!" he bellows, and Elizabeth turns to him, her eyes wide. Edward's eyes also snap open at the sound, and that's what galvanizes me into motion.

I cross the room and grab Jasper's arms, shaking my head violently. "Jasper, not now! And not here! Look at Edward! Is this the way you want him to hear this?"

Jasper's eyes snap to Edward. Edward has rolled his head a little to the side, and his eyes are partially open and staring.

Jasper breathes in sharply, trying to contain his temper; I need to get him out of the room. I turn to Elizabeth. "Jasper and I will give you a few moments. We'll be right back."

I pull Jasper out of the room, past a confused-looking Elizabeth, and shut the door firmly behind us. Not looking at Jasper, I head down the hall to one of the waiting rooms, and he keeps pace with me, seething. The minute I enter the room, he blows.

"That bastard beats her too! I want to kill the son of a bitch! Neither one of them belong in Edward's life anymore!"

"That's not for us to decide," I say evenly.

"No, it's for him to decide, but since he can't do that right now, we have to protect him!"

"I don't think we need to protect him from Elizabeth. She isn't a bad person. Edward's father is an asshole, and I think he's controlled them both. Edward got out, but Elizabeth didn't."

"But she chose to stay there!" Jasper yells, still trying to work off his temper.

"Now you know it's not as simple as that, especially if she was being emotionally and physically abused. Look, I'm not defending her—she made a horrible choice to walk away from Edward, but she's trying to fix that now. Edward's given her a second chance; it's not our place to take it away."

"Are you sure about that?" Jasper asks, calming down a bit.

"Yes, I'm sure. On both counts."

Jasper sighs in frustration. "I don't even know what to say to her. I'm still so angry over what she did to him. If you could have seen him during those two months, Bella. And after, when he didn't want to live anymore—she doesn't deserve this."

"I'm not going to make excuses for her because there is no excuse for what she did. She didn't know what he went through, but she didn't bother to find out, either. But right now, it doesn't matter. All that matters is Edward wants her here, so she's here. You don't have to talk to her if you don't want to, but for Edward's sake, I think you should avoid getting into it with her. We all need to be strong to help him get through this, and if you tear her down, you're going to hurt him too."

Jasper scowls at me. "You know you're really good at convincing people to do things."

I smirk at him. "Yes, it's part of my job. Therapy is all about getting people to realize things. Sometimes, the persuasion is subtle, and sometimes not."

His scowl turns up a little at the corners. "I promise I won't lay into her about Edward."

"Thank you. And I'm going to talk to her about whatever happened, I just wanted her to get to see Edward first. Would you be willing to come back around six or seven tonight? She's staying at my place, and I wanted to drive her there and get her settled."

"Sure, Bella. I can come back this evening. I'll be calm by then, but right now, I think I'm going to go home, change, and go for a run. I could use some stress relief."

"That's an excellent idea. Elizabeth and I will sit with Edward for the afternoon. Was there any change while I was gone?"

Jasper shakes his head, looking downward. "I talked to him almost the whole time, but he was slipping in and out of consciousness, and even when his eyes were open, they weren't focused. And his fever's still just as high. Rosalie said to tell you Dr. Evans would be by this afternoon."

I swallow uncomfortably. I want to know what's going on, but I don't think I can handle any more bad news. But knowing is always better than not knowing, right? I shake my head. "Okay, I'll call you if anything important happens."

"Thanks, Bella," he says, giving me a small smile. "And I'm sorry for my temper. I just—"

"I know. Me too," I finish for him, and he reaches up and squeezes my arm before he walks away.

When I get back to Edward's room, I find Elizabeth in my usual chair, holding Edward's hand and talking to him. His eyes are slightly open again, and it looks like he's at least listening to the sound of her voice if not the words themselves. She's telling him a story from when he was a little boy, and I smile. I can just see him running around—a red-headed, rambunctious little momma's boy.

I cross the room and stand beside her, and she glances up as I approach.

"And now Bella's back with us," she tells him.

"Hi, sweetheart," I say, running my hand gently up and down his arm. His arm tenses under my hand, but I keep rubbing and it relaxes again. His eyes drift, and it looks like he's looking at me, but there's no expression in his gaze, it's dull and vacant. "I'm sorry I was gone so long. I'm going to stay for a while now," I tell him, pulling the other chair away from the wall and setting it down beside Elizabeth.

After I get settled, Elizabeth eyes me warily. "Is Jasper all right?"

Shit. Well, I could tell she knew something was up, and I'm pretty sure she knows exactly what it was based on what Jasper said, but again, I'm not going to bring that up here. Not in front of Edward. "He's fine. He just … has his eyes on the past instead of the future."

"He's angry with me," Elizabeth observes. "And he has every right to be. I'm angry with me, so why shouldn't he get to be? I hope he can someday find it in his heart to forgive me. I don't know that Edward has, but he's trying."

"I think Edward will. I think Jasper will too, but it's even harder for him. Jasper has no tie to you, and he bore the brunt of the fallout after you and Edward stopped talking. He was there when Edward was at his lowest point, and he still has a hard time with that." I can't help but glance at Edward's wrist as I'm speaking, and I run my finger softly over the scar there.

Elizabeth looks away, reaching up to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I just need time," she murmurs. "God, please, give me time."

We sit quietly, each lost in our own thoughts as we watch over Edward. His forehead is sweaty again, so I make him another compress, and Elizabeth watches as I tenderly clean his face and do what I can to cool him down. I'm almost finished when the door squeaks a little, announcing the arrival of Dr. Evans.

He smiles at both Elizabeth and me and then addresses Edward. "Hello, Edward. How are we doing today?" he asks, pulling what looks like a mini iPad out of his pocket as he checks Edward's IV and the readout on the ventilator. Then he puts a hand on Edward's forehead and reaches across the bed and gently takes Edward's hand from Elizabeth, putting two fingers over Edward's pulse point and watching the clock for a few minutes. He puts Edward's hand down and makes a few more notes on his device, and then he turns to face us.

"Hello, Bella."

"Hi, Dr. Evans. This is Elizabeth, Edward's mother."

Dr. Evans' eyes widen. "I've very pleased to meet you, Elizabeth. Surprised, but pleased."

The silence is uncomfortable for a moment, but Dr. Evans doesn't let it grow. "I'm here to talk to you about Edward's condition," he begins, his eyes shifting between us.

"Should I leave?" I ask, assuming with the privacy laws he'll want to speak to Elizabeth alone, and then she'll tell me what's going on. It's frustrating, but I'm not Edward's family, so I don't have any rights here.

"Actually, I'm here to talk to you, Bella. Yesterday morning, Edward gave you medical power of attorney for his healthcare decisions."

I gasp as all the air leaves my lungs in a sudden whoosh. "H-he … he did what?"

"He granted you the right to make decisions for him in the event that he couldn't, which is a very good thing because, at the moment, he's not capable of deciding anything," Dr. Evans says matter-of-factly.

Edward put me in charge of his medical decisions. He put his life in my hands, and he's trusting me to do what he would want with it. He trusts me. I mean, I always knew he did on some level, but this? This is the ultimate. The tears well up and spill over—I'm so … touched by what this says I am to him, but at the same time, I'm horrified that it's necessary.

"Are you willing to take on this responsibility?"

I'm still … stunned, but the question pulls me out of my stupor. "Of … of course. I just didn't know he'd done that. He was pretty busy yesterday morning before his lung collapsed, wasn't he?"

Dr. Evans nods. "Yes, he was, and it's a good thing, too. I didn't want to see him die that way. Not when he has other options."

Right away, I think of what Alice told me about Edward's treatment options, but I don't ask about it. Until he recovers from the pneumonia, it doesn't matter anyway. One thing at a time.

"I'm glad too."

"But let's focus on the present. Edward's lung has re-inflated with the help of the chest tube, and his breathing is stable right now, and that's good. Yesterday, we drained the abdominal fluid and the air and fluid from his chest, and we left the chest tube in place to continue to drain the infection as the pneumonia runs its course. My concern right now is his fever. His temperature has been hovering around one-oh-four for almost forty-eight hours now, and that's dangerously high, especially given his weakened condition. We're doing what we can to lower it, but if we can't get it down, it may be only a matter of time until his body systems begin to fail. We'll be keeping a close eye on him, but I think the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours will be critical."

I feel … disjointed as I listen to his words. As if they're meant for someone else, or like I'm watching a TV show. Oh, God, he can't lose the battle now! Not after all he's gone through, and after he's told me he loves me and decided he wants to live! No!

I look over at Elizabeth, and the terror I feel is reflected in her eyes. She slowly covers her mouth with her hand.

"Now calm down," Dr. Evans says soothingly. "This is just what I'm concerned about. It doesn't mean it's going to happen. I just wanted you to be aware of what could happen, and I want to ask you to help us watch for signs of worsening since you'll be sitting with him. If you notice anything different about him—appearance, behavior, anything—it's important you tell the nurses right away. Can you do that?"

"Of course," Elizabeth and I both stammer, still in shock.

"I have faith in him, though. Edward has been fighting this disease for more than two years now, and he's tough. You should have faith in him too."

My eyes meet Dr. Evans' reassuring smile, but then they turn to Edward. To me, he's as handsome as he ever was, and my mind goes back through all the weeks I've known him, cataloguing his strength, his sweetness, and his incredible talent. And then I think back over all the things he's been through, and come out okay on the other side. Yes, I have faith in him.

I reach over and take Edward's hand as I look back at Dr. Evans. "Yes, I have faith in him. He's going to be fine."

"That's the spirit!" Dr. Evans praises me, giving me another warm smile. "I'll come by to see him every day about this time, unless something happens that I need to come sooner. Hopefully, within a day or two, he'll turn the corner and be on his way to recovery. Please don't hesitate to contact me through the nurses if you have any questions. It was nice meeting you, Elizabeth," he says, and Elizabeth nods at him.

Dr. Evans turns to Edward and puts a hand on his arm. "I'll see you tomorrow, Edward. Be strong."

"Thank you, Dr. Evans," I tell him, and he smiles over his shoulder as he leaves the room.

Elizabeth and I spend the afternoon mostly in silence, allowing Edward to get the rest he surely needs. Elizabeth is lost in thought—whether about Edward or about whatever happened to her before she left, I can't tell. After a while, I pull out my Kindle, and the hours slip by.

I startle when a hand drops onto my shoulder, and look up into Jasper's warm brown eyes.

"Hiya, Bella. How was your afternoon?"

"Fine. Edward's been sleeping. No change. Dr. Evans came by a few hours ago. Everything's fine, for now. He said Edward's fever needs to break, and he asked us to watch for any changes in him, and to let the nurses know if we notice anything."

Jasper nods. "I'll keep an eye out while you're gone."

Elizabeth is staring at us, looking a little out of place. I can tell she's apprehensive about talking to Jasper, and she doesn't want to upset anyone. "Elizabeth, if it's okay with you, I thought you and I could go get something for dinner, and then I'll get you settled at my apartment. I'm going to come back here and stay with Edward tonight, but I can come get you in the morning."

"I could pick her up on my way over tomorrow," Jasper volunteers, and we both turn to stare at him in shock.

"Th-thank you, Jasper, that would be wonderful," Elizabeth stammers, nodding gratefully. "It's good to see you again."

"It's no trouble, and Bella has enough to worry about," Jasper replies.

He makes no reciprocal comment about it being good to see her, but at least, he's being civil and even offering to help. "Thank you, Jasper. I really appreciate it."

Jasper just smiles and nods. Whatever he did this afternoon to calm himself down, he needs to teach me how to do it because I could use a little of his emotional stability right now. I'll have to ask him about it tomorrow.

"Shall we go, Elizabeth?" I ask, turning toward her. "You must be tired after traveling today."

Elizabeth agrees, and we both say our goodbyes to Edward. His eyelids flutter when we talk to him and touch him, but he's less aware than he was this afternoon.

I take Elizabeth to my favorite pizza place uptown, and we talk casually, getting to know each other a little better. I can see Edward's open-ness in her, and his willingness to put others before himself. It's a shame they lost so much time together.

We head to my place, and I show her around, finally leading her to the guest bedroom.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here. I know it's inconvenient …"

"It's fine," I reassure her. "I'm glad you're here for Edward, and I would do anything I could to make that happen. I'm sorry you'll be here alone, though. But I just can't leave him after what happened yesterday morning, and I don't want him to be alone—"

"I don't want him to be alone either. If you weren't staying there, I would ask to," Elizabeth tells me, putting her hand on my arm. "So don't you worry about that at all. I'm so happy he has you, Bella. I could tell when I came up the first time that he was in love with you. A mother knows these things, and it was written all over his face. Please tell me he's admitted it to himself, and to you?"

I nod, instantly transported back to that awful night when he told me he loved me, followed directly by him telling me he couldn't bear to see me again. A shiver rolls down my back.

"And does he know that you love him?"

I inhale sharply at the question, too startled to give anything but an honest answer.

"No. H-he only told me right before all this happened, the night before his lung collapsed. And then he asked me not to come back because he couldn't bear for me to watch him die. He told me he loves me and I didn't get to say it back, and it's killing me. I don't know how aware he is right now, but maybe he's thinking about how he said it to me and I didn't say it back—"

"Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry!" Elizabeth exclaims, pulling me to sit on the bed and putting her arms around me. "Honey, I'm sure he knows. You're there with him. When he opens his eyes, it's you he sees. It's your hand he feels holding his. He knows. And when he's better, you'll be able to tell him properly."

"I'm telling him now. I don't know if he can understand me, but I'm telling him every chance I get, in case—" I can't finish the sentence, and my tears are flowing freely. I've been strong today, but I'm tired and it's late, and all I want to do is go back to Edward, hold his hand for a while, and talk to him. Tell him that I love him again.

I try to pull myself together quickly. I promised myself that if Edward could make it through the day without dying, I could make it through without breaking down, and I'm dangerously close to breaking that promise. Sniffling a bit, I wipe my eyes and force myself into the unpleasant part of the evening. Elizabeth is in trouble, and for her sake and for Edward's, I need to try to help her.

"Elizabeth, I need to ask you something," I begin, and I feel her tense, although she doesn't pull away. Her green eyes meet mine, and they remind me so much of Edward's that I almost look away. They're too close to the eyes I love, and I miss them so much right now.

"What happened to you?" I ask, reaching a hand toward her face. She flinches back, but I had no intention of actually touching her. I just didn't want there to be any ambiguity about what I meant.

She stares at me, as if she's trying to decide which direction to go. I don't give her the chance to deflect.

"He hit you, didn't he?"

She puts her head in her hand, closing her eyes.

"Elizabeth, I can help you, if you'll let me. You have a choice. You can get away from this."

Elizabeth snorts. "I have no choices. He's too strong. I can't just leave him."

"You do, and you can. But we'll get back to that. Did this just start recently?"

She shakes her head, raising her eyes to me. Again, I'm overwhelmed by how much they look like Edward's, and my resolve to help her grows.

"No, it's been … going on for a while now. Since not long after Edward left, actually."

"That makes sense."

"What do you mean 'that makes sense?'" she asks, her brow furrowing.

Shit. I didn't really mean to say that out loud. I had been debating whether to tell her about Edward's abuse, knowing it's a break of confidence with him. Technically. But I can't help but think that Edward would tell her himself if he knew that she, too, was being abused, and she needs the extra push to get away from her husband now. And Edward won't be in any shape to discuss this with her for some time, even if he turns the corner toward recovery. I take a deep breath, hoping I'm making the right decision.

"I don't know if what I'm about to do is the right thing, but I think if Edward were here, he would do it. I said it makes sense because after Edward was gone, your husband needed someone new to take his frustrations out on."

Elizabeth's hand flies to her mouth. "No …"

I nod slowly. "You're not the only one, Elizabeth. Your husband has a problem, and you need to get away from him."

Suddenly, she's furious. "What did he do to Edward? When? How did I not know about this? It couldn't have been more than once …"

I bite into my lip, meeting her eyes steadily. "It was more than once, Elizabeth. He told me it started when he was thirteen."

A choked sob escapes her, and she stands up and begins to pace. "That just can't be! How could it happen without me knowing? And how could he not tell me!"

"He was protecting you. He tries to protect the people he loves from pain, and he protected you from this. But he got himself out of the situation, and you can too."

"I—I can't believe it! Oh, my God, my son! How could that bastard do that to my son! I'm—I'm done! I don't care how strong he is, or what he does to me. He can't get away with this! Oh, God, he did get away with this, but no more! I'm going to leave him. I've had enough, and I'm going to get out."

She collapses onto the bed, and I hold her as she cries. This was a lot for her to deal with in one day, but it was necessary. She needed to see she has more than one reason to leave.

"I can help you, Elizabeth. Edward and I will both help you with whatever you need."

"No," she says, slowly sitting up. "Edward has enough to deal with. He needs to focus on getting better, and I won't have him upset over this. I'll tell him about my decision when he's better, and I won't let on about what you told me tonight. Not until he's stronger and able to handle it. I've made some decisions that have hurt him in the past, and I refuse to make any more. I need to do right by him—by both of us."

"Well, I can still help you if you need anything. And … I think your decision not to tell Edward about this right away might be a good one. He's had so much stress over the past few weeks that it nearly broke him, and—" Oh shit, I haven't told her about his options for treatment! In the same vein as Jasper, I think she should know. After all of this, she needs some hope. "—he still has some tough decisions ahead.

"I found out something else since yesterday morning after he went on the ventilator. Edward actually does have options left for treatment, but he refused them since chemo had already failed for him twice before. My friend, Alice, was his nurse on the oncology floor, and she's pretty sure he intends to go into treatment again when he recovers from the pneumonia, and there's a chance he could be cured."

"Oh, my God!" Elizabeth exclaims. "Really? He—he doesn't have to die from this? There's … hope he could be cured? Oh, Bella! That's fantastic! He deserves another chance. A chance to have a life with you. That's what changed his mind, isn't it? He wants to be with you."

"I—I don't know," I stammer. "We won't know for sure until he can communicate again. Alice said she thinks so …"

"I know so," Elizabeth says confidently. "And if he goes into treatment again, I'm going to move up here and help him—help you both. I wasn't here the first two times, but I'll do anything I can to support him now. He's the one I should have chosen in the first place."

My heart warms at her words, and I think I've made the right choices tonight. It won't be easy for her, and she has a long road ahead, but I think she's headed down the right path.

"Speaking of Edward, you need to get back to him. It's getting late."

I glance at the clock on the nightstand. It's almost ten—she's right. "Are you sure you're all right? It's been quite a day for you."

"No, I'm not all right. But I will be. I have a lot of thinking to do and some big decisions to make. But I think I've made the biggest and most important ones already. Choosing my son over my husband is a decision I should have made long ago. Thank you, for everything you've shared with me tonight. Edward is very lucky to have you, and by extension, so am I."

I hug her tightly, suddenly feeling drained. "I'm happy to have you, too, Elizabeth. I know it means the world to Edward that he was able to reconcile with you, and that you're here now. He loves you very much, and I can see you feel the same."

"I do, and I won't fail him again," she pledges. "Now, go be with my son and tell him he has to get better."

"I will. I'll see you in the morning, Elizabeth," I tell her as I gather my things to head back to the hospital. It feels like forever since I've been alone with Edward, and today feels almost as long as yesterday. Damn, I'm tired.

I drive back to the hospital and relieve Jasper. He tells me there's been no change in Edward, but that he had his eyes open earlier so Jasper talked to him for a while. Edward didn't respond in any way, but Jasper said he could tell Edward was listening.

The minute the door closes behind Jasper, I'm perched on the edge of Edward's bed, one hand in his hair and the other holding his. He's radiating heat, just like he has been since Tuesday, and it's scaring the hell out of me. Oh, God, I hope the fever gives out before his body does.

"Hi, sweetheart. I've missed you. Today has been a long and tiring day, but I know mine hasn't been as bad as yours has. Your fever is still so high. You have to beat this, okay? You have to come back to me because we have so much to talk about. There are so many things I want to share with you."

As I'm talking, his eyes open, and my heart stutters as I see my favorite green. Even fever-bright and vacant, it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. He's watching me, but it's taking him a lot of effort. So I waste no time.

"I love you. I love you so much, and I miss talking to you. I miss your voice and your touch on my skin. I miss you teasing me, and I miss your smile, and I miss your kisses. Oh, God, you kiss better than anyone I've ever known, and I can't get enough of you. So I need you to get better so we can do all those things again. I need you more than I've ever needed anyone. We need each other. I love you, Edward."

His brow wrinkles a little, and suddenly, I feel his fingers squeezing mine. He's responding. He can understand me! I smile and laugh as tears flow down my face.

"There you are! I feel you squeezing my hand. I love you, and I'm going to be right here until you're better. Jasper and your mom and I, we're all going to be right here. Everything's going to be fine. I promise."

The pressure on my hand slowly releases, and his eyes fall closed as he surrenders to sleep. But he responded. I know he did. He's in there, and he's fighting because he wants to be with me. It's been a long and trying day, but the end has given me hope that tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow has to be better.

I fold out my bed with a smile on my face, and my dreams are of Edward and me at the lake near my dad's house in Forks. For this night, my mind is at peace.

A/N: Not a lot of Edward in this one, but some important stuff happening. And it ended on a good note. :) I'm going to need one more week of Thursday posting because my brother is getting married on Saturday and I'm going to be offline completely for a few days. After next week we'll be going back to Mondays. So, teaser in Shadow Fics on Tuesday and Chapter 38 will post on Thursday. Have a good week, all!

Music for Chapter 38: Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel, featuring Kate Bush. The link can be found in the Come Back Tomorrow playlist on YouTube and in Shadow Fics.