CHAPTER 37
Two hours later Tony woke up on the couch. The movie was long over. Jackson was asleep in the chair next to him. Tony looked to him and grinned. It was comforting to have him near.
Gibbs was watching from the doorway but hadn't made his presence known. "Is it weird that I am comforted by him being here? I know I don't really know him but…it's like…he makes me feel safe. Kind of like you do." Tony finally turned to look at Gibbs when he was sure Jackson stayed asleep.
"Not weird at all. He's my dad. You trust me, so I guess you realize you can trust him as well." Gibbs was shocked Tony had even realized he was in the room. He always wondered how much Tony played up being snuck up upon. Now he had some proof.
"I could smell the coffee and I could hear you breathing. It didn't set me on edge, I knew it had to be you." Tony smiled.
Gibbs chuckled slightly. "No more of that either. You can let me sneak up on other people but not you. I want to see the real you at all times. The smart, inquisitive, observant, caring you. Got it?!"
Tony ducked his head. "It was kind of fun to see you try to sneak up on me. I don't think the others ever really knew. I also liked to make the little jabs when I knew you were there. It was funny. But I get it. I'll stop and try to be more me. But I would like to keep this," he gestured between the three of them, "between us. I don't want the office to know how close we are. I don't trust others to not use it against us."
"We'll take it however you want. I look forward to seeing the office reaction to you when you start blowing them all away. But I have a favor to ask as well," Gibbs smiled knowing he was going to get a good laugh from Tony. "Pull me to the side every once in a while and tell me what in the hell you are talking about."
Jackson came awake at the sound of riotous laughter.
After dinner they continued their talk. Tony wanted to deal with something a little less heavy, as he put it. They sat at the kitchen table again. It allowed them to be comfortable and give them a way to look at each other as they spoke.
"Can we talk about Ducky next? I know you are curious."
"I know you are still seeing him. I just didn't know you had changed primary doctors." Gibbs was truly curious.
"I know I have lost a lot of weight. I know I need to work on getting back in shape. But Ducky takes it too far sometimes."
Tony wasn't sure how to tell Gibbs. He didn't want to say too much since Ducky was Gibbs' oldest friend at NCIS. "Tony, son, it's ok. Just tell me and we will deal with it."
Tony shook his head. "We work long hours. I can't always get a decent meal. We had a case, it's been a while but it's one example. Anyway, I hadn't eaten all day. Hell, I don't remember if I ate the night before. Ducky came into the bull pen took the pizza out of my hand and threw it in the trash can. Then proceeded to lecture me about my eating habits as he gave my brand new box of hot pizza to Tim. What is that?"
A look of embarrassment crossed his face and his voice lowered, "I didn't have any more money on me. I couldn't even get something else. He had no right to do that and then just walked away like it was nothing. And of course Timmy loved standing in front of my desk eating my pizza while I sat their starving. He shouldn't have done it. He shouldn't have said anything as my physician about his concerns for my health, cholesterol or whatever. I was hungry, had a headache and needed food."
Tony took a deep breath, "I vowed as an adult I wouldn't go hungry. I may not have always had the opportunity to eat as a kid. I don't know how many times I went without lunch or dinner. And of course when I was allowed to eat with my parent is was always rich foods, elaborate business dinners. I never had pizza or cereal until I was in college and then it was only on occasion since I had to pay for school. Maybe I over do it now and again. But I'm an adult and I'll eat what I want. He just made me…it reminded me…" Tony was embarrassed by his past and his feelings about Ducky. He liked Ducky but didn't want him using personal information to chastise him in front of other team members.
"It's okay Tony, I agree with you. He never should have put you in that position. He should never have taken the food from you. Tim shouldn't have teased you about it. So, let's break this down. Is there anything else we need to work through with Ducky?" Gibbs felt he needed to get a handle on things. He knew one instance wouldn't be all it took to have Tony want to switch after fours years of seeing Ducky as his primary physician.
"No, it was just a lot of little things. When I had the plague, he consulted with Brad. Brad…he said a few things. I…Ducky had no right to share things I told him in private with anyone else. He…told Brad his theories I why I act the way I do. He had no right to do that…If I wanted everyone to know about my cruddy childhood I would tell them. I don't want their pity. I don't want them to know. It's in the past and I only told him to get him off my back. I didn't tell him everything. God help me if I had. I just don't get why he feels the need to parade my weaknesses in front of everyone. I have enough problems with getting my team mates to respect me without him undermining me."
Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug. He didn't realize Ducky had done these things. He figured Tony was only touching the surface but he wasn't going to push. "He was wrong. I don't blame you for not wanting to go to him with anything else. I will talk to him about it. I will inform him that he is no longer your personal physician and explain to him why you have chosen to move to another Doctor. He needs to know if for no other reason than to make sure all of your records are with Brad. But in the future if you are short of money and need food, tell me. I don't want you getting sick over something we can prevent. Okay?"
Tony nodded. He never before enjoyed having someone hold him. Abby was a hugger but it had taken him 2 years before he didn't flinch when she hugged him. "Thanks. I didn't know how to tell him. I didn't want to make working with him any more awkward than what it is now. If only he hadn't shared his opinions, he used his physical and stuff I said too…Never mind. Thanks."
"No problem Tony. I will talk about it with him and make sure he understands. Enough of that for tonight. Fornell will be here tomorrow at 10, Rob will be here at 9 to go over everything. Hopefully Fornell has his head out of his…"
"I know I need to do this so it doesn't happen to anyone else but I despise having to talk to Fornell." The anger was boiling just under the surface.
"We will be there right next to you. From what Brad told me, it looks like you gave Fornell a lot to think last time he was here." Gibbs still had to chuckle a little at the look on Fornell's face when Tony stood up to him. It was priceless.
After Tony went to his room Gibbs sat down to talk to Jack. The rocking chairs he had made all those years ago for he and Shannon were now being put to good use. The night was clear and not too cool. Gibbs enjoyed being just far enough out of the city to avoid the hustle and bustle but still being in an old established sub-division tended to cause enough light pollution to block the stars from view.
"That's a fine young man you have in there. I can't imagine all he has been through. He's a lot stronger than he gives himself credit." Jack saw a lot of traits of both Leroy and Shannon in Tony.
"I know dad. I couldn't be prouder of him if he were my own. I just need to keep reinforcing my belief in him. He's the best young agent I have ever worked with, hell, he's the best agent period. Mike was great and taught me the ropes. He was there during a lot of bitter years. But Tony…he came in already knowing how to investigate crimes and having a good track record. But he was young, fresh and had an ability to put together a lot of little facts to add up to a solution for our cases. I've watched as he's continue to grow and face more adversity than any other agent in the agency. He's had to deal with the jealousy of other agents because I hired him for my team over all of them. Then the whole dad's got money, frat boy image… He's had a tough road but when the shit hit's the fan there isn't one person in this agency now or in the past that I would want to have my six." The look of pride was unmistakable.
Jack smiled at his son. The pride he saw in Leroy's eyes were reflected in his own when he thought about his son.