The Waiting Game.

Number 36, this one is sad…

Thank you so much for the reviews, it means so much, I am so happy you're enjoying this! I know a few of you have hinted that you would like me to carry on a few one shots. I can't carry them on, I am so sorry, but I don't think I would know how, but thank you anyway, I am so grateful, for all the reviews and favourites and follows, it means a lot.

– Olivia waits to hear about Alex.
(After Alex was shot.)

A/N – Alex and Olivia have been dating for about 2-3 years.

Please, read and review. I hope you have a lovely day!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Surgery can take up to 10 hours. That's 600 minutes and 36000 seconds.

You spend your time waiting in a room with white walls, uncomfortable chairs and year old magazines. Sometimes if you're lucky you can make conversation, but normally you fight with yourself to remain quiet, to not laugh at someone's text, to not make a sound, you fight with your mind to not look at everyone else, you try to play all the games on your phone, you try to make your coffee last as long as you can without it going cold. You don't move in fear of someone taking your seat, you do your best not to go anywhere in case the doctors come back with information. All the confidence you once had, suddenly disappear, you speak with no one, you try your best not to look at them, you try to think positively, you smile at the small children playing in the corner. In a hospital waiting room, you remember every good thing, every bad thing, the name of your first year English teacher, and the name of that exchange student in your final year of high school, your favourite song age 5, you remember everything in hope that you can take your mind off what is actually happening.

You try and count down the minutes, but you swear time is going backwards every time you look at the clock. You think of that loved one lying on an operating table, you remember every kiss, every touch, every fight, every single time you said 'I love you' you try to remember it all, you sit and lose yourself in your own thought, in hope it will kill time. As you sit and play with your jewellery or tug on your clothing you try not to get your hopes up every time a doctor or nurse walk in. Your mind reminds you of everything that could happen whilst your son or daughter, husband or wife, best friend or cousin lie on a cold table with doctors surrounding them, trying to fix the problem.

You know that some people in that room have mentally prepared themselves for the worst, and you find yourself doing it as well, you play out every single scenario in your head, trying to think of ways you can make that person feel better when you next see them. If you see them.

You begin to drink your hot beverage even though its gone cold, you think about all the things you could have done differently that day, to avoid the situation you're in now. You take a deep breath and hope no one notices, you turn the volume down on your phone in hope it won't make a sound, because however much you want to, you can't break the silence of the room. You see people come and go, some of them friends, some of them complete strangers, but you never talk to any of them, you sit in silence, waiting.

You wonder what you could be doing right now if this wasn't happening. Would you be up with your new born daughter, caring for your son who had a 24 hour bug, sat with your boyfriend watching films, holding your wife close in bed as you sleep, or where you sat in a hospital waiting room watching the sky change colour, watching new people come and go, waiting to hear the fate of that someone you care for?

Sitting there, you debate if you should get up, pick up a magazine, get another drink, but you decide against it, because by now, the silence of the room, the avoiding eye contact, the trying so hard not to make a sound has become comforting. You try not to laugh as you think of the time when you were happy, when you think of your first kiss, you think lying next to your loved ones, kissing your children, taking to your mother, because something inside of you reminds you that it may never happen again, and that's why you're here. You can tell who's waiting for people to have major surgery and who's not, just by their faces, by the way they sit, by the way they check there watch, but you know that surgery has its risks, no matter how big or small, weather doctors are fixing your daughters broken arm, or replacing your father heart, you still think of the worse, you think about something going wrong, you think about what if they never wake up again. You can't help it.

You think about the last kiss, that time you said I love you, you curse yourself for not saying everything you wanted to, you try your hardest to believe they're coming back, and they will wake up, but still sitting in that waiting room there is still part of you that knows, things go wrong, people mess up, a mother loses her daughter, a boy loses his father.

Surgery can take up to 10 hours. That's 600 minutes and 36000 seconds.

That's 10 hours of waiting, 10 hours of praying, 10 hours leading up to the moment of truth, 10 hours to know what god chose, 10 hours to wait, to find out if it's life, or death.

"Thank you…" Olivia said giving a small smile to the doctor, who needed before walking off. From what Olivia could make out, telling a nurse to keep an eye on her. Sitting back in the waiting room she'd spent most of the night in, she took a deep breath, and she turned towards the door walking outside. She smiled at how cold it was, she hadn't realised it, but the heat could pass as living on the equator in that hospital. She located her car, sitting in it, she wanted to still be waiting in that white room, in silence, avoid eye contact, trying to make as little noise as possible, she wanted to pray some more, she wanted to drink more cold coffee, she wanted to tell the team not to leave, she wanted to be sat in that chair surrounded by the team, she wanted more time, but when she thought about, she wanted more time before that, she wanted more time 2 weeks ago. More time to say 'I love you' more time to shower her lover with kisses, more time to make up excuse as to why she was late to work, more time to spend with her, more time to fight, more time to make up, more time to plan for the future. All Olivia wanted was time. More time today, more time last week, more time.

She had been so lost in her own thought, she never realised she drove herself to the 1-6, waiting a moment she tried to remember is she got there safely, but her mind was still lost in the past few hours.

Walking up into the squad room she could feel all eyes on her, she stopped and just waited, she wasn't too sure what she was waiting for, but she couldn't speak.

"I take it visiting hours are over?" Elliot said, he needed some form of hope.

Olivia tried not to glare at him, so she kept her eyes trained on the floor, it was almost like a different person had taken over her body as she spoke.

"Alexandra Cabot died at 12:25 this morning, due to extensive blood loss, there was nothing anyone could have done." She said, just like the doctor had told her. Walking over to her desk she expected someone to say something but they didn't.

Silence. The same silence she'd experience in the waiting room.

Alex was gone. Olivia was broken. All they could hear was silence.

Surgery can take up to 10 hours. That's 600 minutes and 36000 seconds.

That's 10 hours of waiting, 10 hours of praying, 10 hours leading up to the moment of truth, 10 hours to know what god chose, 10 hours to wait, to find out if it's life, or death.

Surgery can take up to 10 hours, but it the months and the years after that, you actually begin to realise, 10 hours, was no time at all.

Finished! I know, it's a little, out of character and in some ways strange.

However, I hope you like it! Thank you so much for reading!
Please review, let me know what you thought!
Until next time!
Bethanyy!