Chapter Thirty Seven

Bella

Becoming a vampire was the strangest feeling I ever experienced and nothing like I expected. I'd heard all the horror stories from Edward and the other Cullens. How newborns were savage and blood-crazed unable to control themselves and slaughtering every living thing within reach. I felt the thirst as a scorching sensation in my throat which could have become unbearable if I had allowed it, while the rage could possibly be the irritating itch in my brain but why was I so different? Why wasn't I behaving like a normal newborn?

It occurred to me that I might be getting some help.

"Are you taking away my rage, Jasper?"

He shook his head, "Nope. There's been no need. You seem to have it under control all by yourself."

"How?"

"I have no idea, just be thankful."

"Oh, I am, but I think if I don't get something to drink soon I might go crazy, the thirst is killing me."

He smiled ruefully and nodded.

"That's the worst thing about becoming a vampire. Learning to live with the thirst without allowing it to control you. Now, let's see what we can find for you. There isn't going to be much choice on the island. I'm afraid it'll be small mammals or amphibians. Not the best first experience tasting blood."

I wrinkled my nose and he laughed.

"How about porpoise?"

I glanced at the sea which was still pretty rough and shook my head

"Then rat it will be."

"Rat? No way. I refuse to drink rat blood."

"Then we have no choice but to swim to the main island, you'll find a better choice there."

I was scared, I'd never been a strong swimmer but, of course, I'd forgotten I was now a vampire with their speed and strength, plus the fact I no longer needed to breathe.

"What about our clothes? They'll be soaking wet."

Now his grin was broader.

"Well, you could strip off of course."

I narrowed my eyes, he was enjoying my discomfort just a little too much. Then it occurred to me that if I was going to strip off then so was he! It was tempting but I was too much of a coward to dare him and I was only wearing one of Peter's tee shirts that someone had dressed me in when they had removed my blood-soaked clothing. So, I waded in fully dressed and began to swim.

Luckily when we arrived at Deer Harbor it was dark and raining heavily so our wet clothing wouldn't have looked so out of place if we had been seen. As it was we made it to the wooded area outside town without being spotted by any humans.

All I could think about right now was blood, especially after the exertions of swimming and with Jasper's help I successfully hunted and brought down a small deer and although I had been scared that I might not know what to do, it came naturally and my thirst diminished a little enabling me to think more clearly. I still needed more too and it took some time to hunt down another and by the time I had drained this carcass the sun was coming up and we needed to get inside.

"We have to go to the cottage, Bella."

I shook my head feeling uneasy. "I don't want to go back there."

He put an arm around me holding me close.

"I know darlin' but it's the best place to wait and we can't go back to the island yet."

"Why not? I'm fine and Ellie is there. I want to see my daughter, Jasper."

"Not yet, Bella. It's not safe until we know you are really in control, besides Ellie thinks you're sick in the hospital. You can call her later but until I'm convinced you are really no danger to her we are staying away. Peter and Charlotte will take care of her."

I knew he was right, that I should stay away from Ellie until I was sure I could control myself but I wanted to see her so badly. It was cruel that after just getting her back I now found myself unable to be with her once more. Had I been such a wicked person that I didn't deserve some happiness with my little girl?

We made our way back to the cottage but as we neared the front door I felt my unease grow until it suddenly appeared more manageable and I knew that was Jasper's doing. I turned and smiled my thanks as he unlocked the door and we stepped inside.

It hadn't changed, it didn't look as if a brutal and bloody attack had taken place here just days ago. Of course, any evidence would be in the kitchen but it occurred to me that there was no smell of blood only that of bleach and disinfectant. Charlotte had been through, but how awful it must have been for her to come into a place reeking of human blood and clean it up. Surely her thirst would have driven her crazy.

I asked Jasper about it.

"Charlotte has been a vampire for over a century and she was in Mexico with Peter and me. We learned to control our thirst and resist the scent of freshly spilled blood. If we hadn't then Maria would never have been able to build and replenish her newborn army."

"I don't think I could resist right now. You're right of course, I couldn't be close to Ellie not until I know in my heart that I'm no threat to her. Talking of freshly spilled blood, how do you think Darius coped, walking in on me after Jedidiah's attack? It must have been horrendous."

"Darius is a one of a kind. He's been a vampire for centuries and I don't think there is anything he can't resist. He's also very clever and extremely self-possessed. But, I think there might be another reason, the one no one is prepared to talk about yet everyone understands."

I studied him, unsure if I wanted to utter my suspicions out loud but then I nodded.

"You mean Ellie don't you? It was clear to me that she meant something to him right from the start. After all, he was a vampire with no connection to me or her yet he took her under his wing as if he had always known us. How does it work Jasper? I mean I know he has no inappropriate feelings towards her, yet I also know that eventually, the two will become inseparable. Tell me about him so I can understand what kind of a man he is."

We lit a fire to make the place cozier and sat together on the rug before it, me leaning back against Jasper's chest while he wrapped his arms around me. I listened as he told me what he knew of Darius' sad and tragic story.

"And he's still waiting to get his hands on Caius? That takes determination and patience, a lot of both."

"It's all he had to keep him going, Bella. Usually, if a vampire loses their mate they pine away or find a way to kill themselves, unable to stand the torture of being separated, but Darius has been sustained all these years by his lust for vengeance and now it seems his time has come."

I turned to peer into his face.

"What? Tell me."

"I had a text message earlier from Charlotte to tell me that Darius is flying to Italy tonight. He's had word that Caius intends to use his absence over here for a short excursion. He's waited so long for this, I hope it goes as he wants."

"Shouldn't you go with him? Or Peter? It doesn't seem right him going alone after all he's done for us."

"Peter offered but Darius turned him down. I wouldn't worry, a few years ago it would have made little difference to Darius if he survived or went down with Caius as long as Caius did go down. Now he has a reason to live."

We sat quietly for a few minutes lost in our thoughts until Jasper broke the silence with a question.

"You haven't said how you feel about everything. I know you never wanted to become a vampire and I'm guessing you're not exactly thrilled about finding your daughter is destined to become one too. Will you talk to me, Bella?"

I almost shook my head but then I decided it might help to talk about it with someone, and who better than Jasper?

"I guess becoming a vampire doesn't bother me so much and there's nothing I can do about it. It's certainly better than dying even if I do still have to learn how to live undetected among humans like you and the Cullens. I'll survive, so long as it doesn't stop me being with my little girl. I can't lose her again. I won't."

I felt his arms tighten around me and felt his cool breath on my neck which made me shiver. I guess I'd known from the first time I saw Jasper that I was attracted to him but at that time he was beyond my reach. And now? Well now he was free and I knew he was attracted to me. How could I possibly have struck it so lucky?

"Jasper. I know my emotions are all over the place because I feel like laughing and crying at the same time but does it mean I can't trust any of my feelings right now?"

"No, all your senses are heightened and the confusion is natural. You're trying to work out why you feel so much more strongly about things. Becoming a vampire means that anger becomes rage, wanting becomes a desperate yearning, and love becomes passion, you'll learn to control them soon enough. Why?"

I turned until we were face to face and blurted my reason out.

"Because right now what I feel for you could get me arrested."

He burst out laughing but I could see it in his eyes. He felt the same way about me and I leaned closer to kiss him. A sweet kiss that deepened into hunger and desire and before long we were rolling around on the floor in front of the fire feeding the hunger and taking pleasure in each other. I didn't know where this was going to lead and right now I didn't really care. I was living for the moment, something I had never done until now. I even forgot Ellie temporarily.

Darius

The flight was long and tedious and was not helped by the fact that I was leaving the one person who meant more to me than life itself behind. Sure she would be safe and well looked after but I couldn't help thinking about the last time I had left my most precious possession alone and unguarded. It was the reason I was on my way to Italy now and this time I wasn't leaving without my pound of flesh. My thirst for revenge had never cooled although it had become something I learned to control. I had waited so long for this day and I was going to make sure Caius Volturi begged and screamed for mercy before he died. There would be no easy way out for the bastard. He would relive Sara's pain and fear and more before I finally removed him from this world.

To keep my emotions under control during the flight I continued to work on Jed's whereabouts. Once this was over I was willing to go to London with Bella and the Major and I wanted to know where to put my hands on the cowardly shit who had attempted to murder Bella. When I thought about how close Ellie had been to danger it made me feel sick. I was sure had she been with Bella the other day Jed would have killed her too without a moment's hesitation, it didn't bear contemplating.

The connection was slow through the aircraft wifi but it was sufficient to allow me to check hotels, motels, and hostels in London for any sign of him along with all forms of transport that needed booking and therefore entailed giving personal details. I would work on the assumption that Jed now had money, he wasn't the type to do a good deed for a friend without payment and his favor to Edward had been a really well-paying one I was sure. So, he might be tempted to splash the cash when he first arrived home. Before he realized just how easily traceable it would make him.

He wasn't entirely stupid, he was aware of the dangers of being traced but he just couldn't help himself spending a little of his hard earned cash on luxuries. He hadn't been too obvious, hadn't used a hotel or anything easily traced but I found him all the same. He had rented himself a luxury apartment in a part of London he was familiar with, Spitalfields. His old hunting grounds. It was expensive but he'd rented it for two weeks. I guess he thought he might have at least that amount of time before he needed to go into hiding. He hadn't bought a car either but then I guessed with the tube train he hardly needed one so I couldn't trace his movements by gas receipts but I was sure he was busy working out his best bolt hole. Poor Jedidiah, if he'd run to Satan for a hiding place in hell it wouldn't be safe from the Major, didn't he know that? It was always best to know your enemy, preferably before they became that enemy.

He might have remained undiscovered had he not continued his habit of using famous characters from the seventeenth century as his aliases. William Sancroft who had rented the apartment had been Archbishop of Canterbury from 1678 to 1690. Jed was just too predictable, it was getting boringly easy to track him. At least that's how I felt when I sent the last email to Charlotte with the maps of the underground tunnels, tube trains routes, old sewers, river courses, and anything else I thought might come in useful.

Only when we came into land did I shut my computer and put all thoughts of Jedidiah Stone, Bella, the Major and Ellie from my mind. None of the last three deserved to be in the same thoughts as Caius Volturi. Now, at last, I would finally get my hands on the bastard who had raped my wife and then lied, watching as the woman I loved more than anything in this world, unable to face a future with such memories in it committed suicide. I could still smell the smoke, see the pathetic pile of ashes that was all that remained of the most wonderful, kind and thoughtful woman the world had ever seen.

I didn't rush to disembark, I had plenty of time and now I was here I found myself cool and determined. I knew precisely what I was going to do. I didn't want trouble with the Volturi guard, I could take them if necessary but I didn't want to. Neither did I want to harm Athenadora, she was innocent, at least according to Aro and I had no reason to disbelieve him.

So, I would wait until the opera was over, when Caius was relaxed, probably having enjoyed his first night of freedom and then, just when he was at his most mellow, I would show him just how wrong he had been to think I would ever, ever, allow him to live and enjoy life when he was within my reach.