A/N: Sorry it's been a while. My computer died and then I was out of the country for a while. Now I'm in the process of moving but have this almost finished. This is the first of the final three chapters. Hope you enjoy.
Chapter 37 – Truth Is I Am Done Pretending
First the new interns came. He felt about a million years older than them. Then, Abby left for Boston with Luka. Ray watched his support system reduced by one half while voices whispered that he could take her place in the winter if he so desired. Neela accepted Dubenko's offer for the trauma fellowship. That meant he saw her nearly every day now, her and Brenner, who always seemed to pop up like a bad penny.
He wasn't quite sure how he made it to Halloween, but the calendar and Tracy Martin's mermaid costume told him that he had. That gave him a good chuckle, watching her waddle around in that getup while Pratt fumed. Ray didn't know how the other man kept a straight face. Luckily he wasn't working with her today, Grady was. That guy couldn't seem to catch a break. Ray smiled as he saw his name on the schedule beside Kaya Montoya's. She was sharp and would be sure to keep him on his toes throughout the shift. Daria practically swooned, trailing behind Gates as they walked past the desk on their way to Curtain Area 2. Ray looked around for Kaya and found that she was already seeing patients, so he walked up to help Archie run the board. Before he could make it, though, Frank informed him there was someone waiting for him at the triage desk.
He wasn't expecting anyone, but four years at County told him it was impossible to tell who would be there when he arrived. As he approached the window, he glanced into the waiting room, scanning for a familiar face. A hand brushed his shoulder and he jumped. He turned too quickly to see who had touched him and felt his upper body beginning to list as a result. His hand groped for the counter to support his shifting body weight as she walked into his line of sight. Somehow, he managed words.
"What are you doing here? How did you get in? God, I'm so glad to see you." They tumbled out of his mouth as she put an arm around his waist to help steady him. He paused for a second as he finished righting himself before motioning toward the lounge. "Let's go in there." Her hand slipped down to his side and into his hand as they crossed the room. When they arrived at the door, he pushed it open. She slid in front of him into the empty room. They stood facing one another in front of the couch for a moment, just staring, before he noticed her hair. The wavy curls flowed loosely onto her shoulders – just the way he loved it. His fingers, acting independently, reached out to touch them.
"I've been wearing it like this for a while," she explained as she took his fingers and let them tangle in hers. "It reminds me of you."
"What are you doing in Chicago?" he asked again. He'd been here for almost a year, yet she'd never had a reason to come before.
"I've been in town this week for the national conference. It seemed like the perfect excuse to see you and what you do here," she explained. "I did a little community ER rotation for about a month in 4th year but never anything like this. Would it be okay if I followed you around for a while?" she asked, still not breaking her hold on his eyes.
"Sure," he beamed. "You can finally see me in action." Realizing he still had his hand in hers, he lifted it to his lips and brushed them lightly against her palm. She didn't pull away or seem embarrassed. He resisted the urge to do more and led her back into the main area. "Do you want some coffee or anything? We can go across to Jumbo Mart. It's less lethal than the tar in the lounge."
"Yeah, that's fine," she nodded. "Coffee would be good."
"Frank," Ray addressed the man at the desk, "If anyone's looking for me, I'm at Jumbo Mart." He ignored Frank's odd stare as he placed his hand on the small of Alyssa's back and walked beside her out the door and into the ambulance bay.
A second later, Archie Morris materialized beside Frank. "Where'd Ray go? I thought he was going to help me run the board."
"I think you're on your own with that, Morris. He just headed off to Jumbo Mart with a lady."
"A lady or a groupie," Gates asked as he walked up and joined the conversation.
"That's unnecessary, Gates," Greg interjected as he arrived on the scene.
"Whatever you say, Boss. I'm just using history as my reference," Gates mumbled as he left the desk, Daria right at his heels.
"Like that guy has any room to talk about groupies," Archie chuckled. "You planning on doing something about that, Greg?"
"What am I supposed to do? Ask him to be less dreamy?" Pratt batted his eyes sarcastically.
"I wanna get back to Ray and this woman he just left with," Frank said, forcing them back on subject.
"I don't know about anyone, do you?" Archie asked Greg.
"No one but the doctor from Baton Rouge, but the last I knew she was seeing someone else," shrugged Greg. "Did you get a name, Frank?"
"Nope, just said he was going and she went with him." Then a thought hit him. "Ask Chuny," Frank said, pointing toward the doors, "She buzzed the woman in, whoever she is."
Pratt and Archie immediately descended upon Chuny at the triage desk. "Who is the woman with Ray?" Archie practically yelled before Pratt had a chance to open his mouth.
"Chill, Morris," Chuny admonished. "You're rousing the patients." She stuck her thumb out toward the window where perspective patients immediately began crowding around the site of two white coats. "She said her name was Dr. Bradford and she was a friend of Ray's. I let her in. Is there a problem?"
"No, no, nothing like that," assured Pratt. "We just wanted to know who she was. He shot out of here with her before any of us had a chance to meet her."
"Well, he took her in the lounge first, and she had a bag with her when they went in there. I'm sure they're coming back if you want to talk with her," Chuny revealed.
"Yeah, we'll just wait for them to get back," Archie decided. "Thanks, Chuny. You're doing a great job here." She rolled her eyes as they turned back to the admit desk and she resumed taking patients' paperwork.
"I'll work on clearing the board while you keep an eye on the kids, if that's okay with you," Archie asked Greg.
"Yeah, that's fine. Just let me know when Ray gets back," Greg waved over his shoulder as he headed off to make sure Gates was handling whatever he and Daria had gotten themselves into earlier.
By the time Ray and Alyssa returned, word had buzzed through the department that the "other woman" was in the building. Andrew, who heard from Daria who'd overheard Gates and Pratt talking, mentioned to Neela that Dr. Barnett's friend from Louisiana was visiting. She checked the trauma pager about 15 times before she finally tagged along with him on a rule-out appy.
Grady was taken aback when he saw her. "Dr. Rasgotra, did I call the wrong number? I was just looking for general surgery, not trauma," he apologized as she whisked into the room in front of Andrew.
"I thought I'd follow Andrew, just to see if I've actually taught him anything," she explained as she took a place in the back of the room, staring intermittently out the window while Andrew completed his assessment. She didn't see anyone out of place, though. "Andrew, I'll be at the desk when you're done. I'll sign your note before you go back upstairs," she mumbled as she walked out from behind the curtain.
Frank was waiting for her. "Can I help you, Dr. Rasgotra?" he asked even though he had a pretty good idea why she was there.
"I, uh, was just looking for Ray," she attempted playing cool, but she knew they hadn't spoken to one another outside of patient care for months now, and she also knew that everyone in the ER knew.
"He's in the lounge with Dr. Bradford from Louisiana," he said, preparing her for what she was going to find.
"Thanks, Frank. I'd heard something like that." She walked over to the door. Wonder if I should knock first, she thought as she placed her hand on the blind-covered window, briefly recalling risqué photos Abby had helped her take for Michael behind just such a door in what seemed like another lifetime. She took a deep breath and pushed through. Ray and Alyssa were seated on the couch laughing about something. Her stomach lurched. She didn't think she could do this. She started to back out the door when Ray spotted her and stood.
"Neela, I, uh, I didn't see you there." He stepped toward her. "Come in. I want you to meet Alyssa Bradford." He turned to Alyssa, "Alyssa, this is Neela Rasgotra."
"Dr. Bradford," Neela smiled as she extended her hand to the other woman. "I've heard so many wonderful things about you. It's so nice to meet you."
"Thank you, Dr. Rasgotra, but please, call me Alyssa."
"And I'm Neela."
Alyssa smiled. "It's great to finally meet you. I'd hoped to see you the last time Ray was in Louisiana." Neela nodded but kept silent.
"Alyssa's in town for a conference but she wanted to check out what we do here," Ray interjected quickly.
"Ah, well, you're bound to see some action if you stick around very long. I have to get back upstairs though." She turned to Ray, "You know where to find me if you need me," and then back to Alyssa. "It was so nice to meet you, Alyssa."
"And you too, Neela." They shook hands again. Neela walked assuredly to the door, fighting the urge to look back as she did so. Alyssa stood beside Ray in the middle of the floor, watching her go.
When she had disappeared, Ray spoke. "Sorry about that."
Alyssa brushed him off. "It's fine," she said, forcing a smile. "You never mentioned how beautiful she is, though."
Ray shrugged his shoulders in a perplexed gesture. "Yeah, she is," he finally conceded. "I didn't think I'd ever have to explain her to another woman."
She smiled more genuinely now. "I guess not."
He decided to move things along. "We should go check on my intern. She's good, but I haven't talked to her all shift." Ray headed to the door and opened it for Alyssa. As they passed the desk, Ray glanced at the board to find where Kaya was working. He led Alyssa to Exam 1 where they found Kaya conversing with an adolescent girl complaining of flu-like symptoms. She had already finished her history and physical exam and had put in orders for preliminary labs. She handed Ray three additional charts to review before she found Morris to co-sign. They moved from bed to bed, checked labs and x-rays and spoke with patients as Ray and Kaya discharged her patients and he picked up several charts of his own. Alyssa watched him sew the next patient's multiple lacerations obtained when the windowpane he had been installing shattered in his hands. When it came to the cut on the man's forehead, Ray pulled out a tube of Derma bond and repaired the break in the skin. Alyssa found herself grinning as Ray quickly gave the patient his aftercare instructions. He turned back to her.
"I can probably get out of here if this is completely boring you."
"It's fine, Ray. I'm not bored," she assured him. "I've been sitting in meetings all week. Anything is better than a power point presentation."
"Damn," he joked, "Because I was just going to have Morris give you ours on prioritizing trauma patients. It's riveting."
"I have no doubt, but if I'm slowing you down, I can go."
"No. God, no. I just don't want to spend your time here, well, here," he explained as Gates and Daria followed a gurney into one of the trauma rooms.
Alyssa craned her head in that direction, attempting to see what was going on inside. Ray came up behind her and motioned to the door.
"Wanna watch?"
She nodded. "If it's okay."
He shrugged and started toward the room. "Here," he said, tossing her a yellow paper gown and some goggles. "We can go in."
Ray pushed through the door. "Need anything, Gates," he asked as he walked up to the table.
"Nah, we're actually on our way to the cath lab. I think Pickman's bringing in a guy in status eplilepticus, though, if you want to check that out."
"Yeah, okay," Ray said as he scooted out of the way as Gates and crew exited the room. He and Alyssa were left alone in the trauma room. "You want to hang around for the incoming or do you want to see if I can get away?"
"I don't want to get you into any trouble," she grinned. "Shouldn't you finish your shift? I mean, isn't that what 4th year ER residents do, anyway? Just wait for traumas and let their interns see patients?"
"Let me see what I can do," Ray grinned back at her as he pulled off the PPE. "Wait for me in the lounge, okay?"
Five minutes later he breezed through the door and past her toward his locker. He deposited the stethoscope and retrieved his jacket. Alyssa watched him, her eyes sparkling even in the lounge's dim light as she did so.
"We're free," he finally enlightened. "Pratt said he can cover for me." He clipped a pager to his belt. "I felt bad, though, and told them that they could page me if they really get in a bind."
"Well, isn't that chivalrous of you," Alyssa grinned. "Where to now?" she asked, rising from the couch and grabbing the arm he offered to her.
"Anywhere you want," he pulled her into his chest and deeply inhaled the scent of her hair. "Anything you want."
He felt her sigh as she whispered something so softly he had to ask her to repeat it. She looked up into his face and licked her lips, which had suddenly dried out. Alyssa hesitated a second or so more before she was actually able to verbalize it for him. Finally, she said it. "All I want is you."
He pulled her closer to him, if that was even possible and kissed her. The irony of his similar meeting with Neela taking place just a few months earlier in the exact same location was not lost on him, but he couldn't say that he cared. He wanted her in his arms right now, and for as long as she would stay. He almost dared to hope it would be forever. But first, they had so much to discuss. He needed to know why she was able to come to him now.
Ray's mind was turning furiously. He wanted to take her to just the right place at just the right time. She was only wearing a thin jacket, so taking her down by the lake probably wouldn't work out too well. She was likely to freeze on him if they did that. There was the possibility that he had an extra jacket in his car, though. He'd check when they got there. Right now, though, he was leading her out of the lounge and into the bustle of the ER. As he expected, the bulk of the staff was waiting for them at the admit desk. Ray sighed as he directed her over to the group, thinking he might as well get it over as quickly as possible.
Pratt was the first to look up and notice them. He jabbed Morris in the ribs and Frank, hearing the commotion of those two, also turned. Ray scratched his hand through his buzzed hair and gave the men a curt nod.
"Um, hey, Pratt, Morris, Frank. This is Dr. Alyssa Bradford from Baton Rouge. She's in town for a conference this week."
Alyssa stepped forward and stuck her hand out to each of them, starting with Pratt. "You must be Greg Pratt," she grinned. "I've heard so much about you." Then she turned to Morris. "You're obviously Archie Morris. It's nice to meet you." Finally, she turned to Frank. "And last but certainly not least, Frank. I know you've kept an eye on Ray, and as his former physician I have to thank you for that."
Frank tried to maintain his gruff exterior. He'd already declared himself a staunch supporter of Team Neela, but he could understand what Ray saw in this woman. She was quietly charming and quite engaging. Plus, she seemed to fit the "new" Ray. In truth, they'd all kept a close eye on Ray since he'd gotten back, but Alyssa had been correct in her assessment – Frank had spent plenty of time just observing the changes in Ray since his accident. He watched Ray and Neela try to make a go at their relationship, and he watched it fail miserably. Now they were barely even talking. He had been at County and in his own marriage long enough to realize that people changed over time. The problem was, Ray and Neela were changing in opposite directions. And the vector of Ray's changes was pointing right in the direction of this other woman. Frank was glad he was getting the chance to meet her now. It was like the last piece of the puzzle falling into place. Frank's job was to be the hub of the ER, and he'd heard all the news and rumors. Most of them were saying that Ray was leaning toward the attending position vacated by Abby, but Frank hadn't ever felt that was going to happen. Now he knew it wasn't. Ray's destiny lay in Baton Rouge and with Dr. Alyssa Bradford. Frank would bet his left thumb on it.