A/N: After trying different ways of prioritizing my WIPs, I finally got a new system that has worked so well I have managed to upload 4 stories, including this one, in less than a week. Enjoy!

Chapter 33- Not Knowing Is Scary

She heard voices beckoning to her, felt someone squeeze her hand.

Paige opened her eyes and saw that Don was the one holding her hand. He looked worried. Hawkes and Lindsay were also nearby and looked concerned. Paige then realized she was lying on the floor of the Waldorf-Astoria.

"W – what happened?" said Paige.

"You collapsed," said Don.

CSINY

Paige decided to try getting up on her own, despite offers of help from Don and Lindsay. To say she was embarrassed was an understatement. She sat in a chair and Don sat next to her as Hawkes asked her questions about how she had been feeling.

"I'm embarrassed," said Paige. "I fainted in front of god knows how many people."

"I meant, how you felt prior," said Hawkes.

"I know, still doesn't take away the fact that it's embarrassing," said Paige. "Lightheaded and dizzy. I don't even remember it happening. I was clapping, then everything went dark. Next thing I knew I was lying on the floor."

"You should go to the hospital and get checked out," said Hawkes.

"I'll take her," said Don.

CSINY

The couple sat in the waiting room, waiting for Paige's name to be called. Don knew it'd be about an hour. He noticed her shivering so he took off his dress jacket and draped it over her shoulders. Paige rested her head on Don's chest and he put his arm around her.

"You feeling better?" said Don.

"Yeah. Can't we just go back to your place?" said Paige.

"You hit your head when you passed out, humor me," said Don.

"Okay," said Paige.

The two of them craned their heads to watch the TV located in a top corner of the wall. It was showing something Don neither recognized nor cared to watch, his attention was on Paige and making sure she was okay.

"I'm glad you came with me," said Paige.

"I wouldn't make you go through this alone," said Don.

The waiting room was packed. Don saw a few people acting crazy and pulled Paige closer to him.

CSINY

It was almost two hours before Paige was able to get looked at by one of the doctors. During that time several people lit up cigarettes and a man trying to buy a snack from the vending machine had decided that the best way to handle the machine eating their money was to grab it and tip it over. If the man hadn't looked like he was from WWE, Don would've thought he was high on PCP. The man had punched through the glass and grabbed the Twinkies he'd attempted to purchase, making Paige laugh.

"I'll be fine, go get something to eat," said Paige.

"I'm not hungry," said Don.

"I lost count of the amount of times your stomach growled in the waiting room," said Paige. "I'll be right here."

CSINY

After the exam, the doctor turned to Paige with a serious look on his face.

"I don't like what I'm seeing here," said the doctor. "I'd like to have you admitted for tests."

"What kind of tests?" said Paige.

"Not sure yet, I'll be turning your case over to someone else and he'll be doing those," said the doctor.

Paige rolled her eyes. It always figured from her journalism assignments in class, and now current experience, that when someone wanted a straight answer for health care, trying to get one was like pulling teeth.

CSINY

Paige sat in the triage area and observed the action going on until Don got back.

"There was a line, I'm sorry it took so long," said Don.

"It's okay," said Paige. "Sit with me?"

Don sat next to Paige on the hospital bed and put an arm around her.

"They want to admit me, Don," said Paige. "A couple lymph nodes on my neck are swollen and it was a cause for concern."

"I'm a detective, how could I not notice?" said Don.

"You were busy trying to get back on your feet, Donnie," said Paige. "Don't beat yourself up over this, okay? They'll do some tests, find out what's wrong, and hopefully it won't be serious."

Don held her in his arms until Paige's new doctor arrived.

CSINY

It was almost an hour later. Paige was in a room on the medical floor and her new doctor, Dr. Sloane, was an immunologist who apparently wore converse with his lab coat. He left soon after introductions and said he'd be back the next day.

"I'll be here tomorrow," said Don.

"They'll probably want to do tests on me tomorrow," said Paige.

"They're not doing anything tonight?" said Don.

"They already drew blood in the ER and took my temp," said Paige. "I have a low fever. Don't worry, as far as they know it's not contagious."

"How are you feeling now?" said Don.

"I have tattoos, what's a needle stick gonna do?" said Paige. "I do feel better though."

"I'm staying the night," said Don.

"You should go home and get some real sleep, that chair won't be comfortable for you," said Paige.

Don realized she was right, but he wanted to be there for her more than anything else.

"How about I at least stay until you're asleep," said Don.

"I'd like that," said Paige.

The two of them talked, kissed, and cuddled until Paige fell asleep. Don then left, knowing he had work the next day but still felt bad about leaving her even though she had said she was okay with it.

CSINY

Don found the team and his family waiting at Sullivan's. He told them what was going on.

"I know she said I should sleep at my apartment, but I still feel like a jerk for leavin' her alone," said Don.

"You love her and you want to help her, that's why you feel that way," said Stella. "She's lucky to have you."

"Stella I think it's the other way around," said Lindsay.

"Doesn't matter what way it is, we gotta sneak in some grub," said Danny. "That hospital food is nasty."

A laugh rippled throughout the crowd. Don later went to Gavin's apartment and talked to him. Gavin and Andrea promised they'd help in any way that was needed.

"Hopefully it's nothing," said Gavin.

CSINY

Don went to the precinct the next morning to find his paperwork being put into a box by Scagnetti.

"What are you doing?" said Don.

"I heard about Paige," said Scagnetti. "Last I checked it didn't matter where the paperwork was done so long as it got done."

"Thanks," said Don. "You've been a great friend, man. She told me you were around a lot when I was in the hospital. Thank you for that."

"Anytime, but I'd rather you not wind up there again so soon after getting out," said Scagnetti.

The two detectives shared a laugh before Don left.

CSINY

Scagnetti walked to Kaile's desk with a cup of coffee for her.

"Is it true?" said Kaile.

"What?" said Scagnetti.

"Is Paige really in the hospital?" Kaile.

"Where'd you hear that?" said Scagnetti.

"It's all over the department," said Kaile. "Along with Jessica Angell and Dean Truby making out in the locker room but anything having to do with Flack always trumps a squad-room romance."

"Can't everyone just leave them alone? That couple has been through hell," said Scagnetti. "He's our friend and she's a good kid who doesn't deserve this."

"I agree with you, I really do," said Kaile.

"I know," said Scagnetti.

They kissed, and a couple rookies nearby whistled. After the kiss Scagnetti saw them and responded to their juvenile antics with one of his own by giving them the finger.

CSINY

Paige was woken up by a nurse who injected her with something.

"Dr. Sloane scheduled a CT and PET scan for you this morning," said the nurse. "This is supposed to help things show up."

Paige was annoyed as she got out of bed and sat in the wheelchair provided for her. The nurse was overly perky, and the hospital gown did nothing to help how cold she felt. Paige was also worried she would miss the start of classes. She was glad she'd had the forethought to pick up her books towards the end of July, but she wanted to have a good attendance so she wouldn't be dropped from anything.

As she lay in the CT machine, she was alone in a confined space with her thoughts. It wasn't the small space that was a problem for her, but she did remember a girl she had known in middle school, Sylvia, who had had severe claustrophobia and had had to get tested for a brain tumor, which had involved getting an MRI, which had involved lying in a narrow confined space similar to this. Paige remembered Sylvia had been more upset about the tests than the fact that she could have a terminal illness, which luckily she hadn't had.

No, it was being alone with her thoughts running through her head that bothered Paige.

I can't believe I got woken up at nine in the morning for this… someone oughtta make nurse perky take a drug test… I wonder where Don is… this goes on much longer Rhonda will need to help me do damage control at NYU… she's good at that but hates politics, just like Mac… I hope Don comes today… I know he's busy but I really want to see him… I'm scared… cripes what's wrong with me I never get scared… I'm supposed to be strong for my man like Lady Liberty is strong for her city what's wrong with me… oh no… I'm losing it aren't I… what if I have cancer… oh no this can't be happening to me… I – I'm only 20… I – I don't wanna die… I don't wanna die… I don't wanna be here I wanna be with Don… I – I need him right now… no, that would be clingy I can't distract him just because I'm upset… don't cry, crying won't solve anything…

CSINY

Paige felt worse after she was back in her hospital room when Dr. Sloane came by and dropped a bombshell on her.

She would need a biopsy on two of the lymph nodes in her neck tomorrow, and it would require surgery.

CSINY

Paige sat in bed watching a random movie and crying. She couldn't help it, the news she had gotten bothered her. She heard a knock on the door and hastily wiped the tears from her face.

"Come in," said Paige.

The door opened to reveal Don walking in with what appeared to be a bag of food. Paige smiled and turned off the TV.

"Danny and I got you some stuff," said Don. "He's on a case right now but he said he'll try making it here when he can."

"Thanks, and tell him I said that," said Paige.

"They find out anything yet?" said Don.

"No, and that's what's bothering me," said Paige. "Please sit with me?"

Don sat on the edge of the bed. Paige made some more room for him so they could be as comfortable as their circumstances allowed while eating the pizza Don had snuck in.

"I know I shouldn't be scared until there's a reason to be, but it's hard not to feel that way," said Paige. "It's easier for me when I know what I'm facing. If it's something mundane or terrible, if I know what it is I can deal. Not knowing is killing me right now."

"I'm not going anywhere, Aingeal," said Don.

"I know," said Paige.

For the first time that day, Paige smiled.

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