A.N

Thirty five chapters later and we're finally getting somewhere.

I know I said this would be up on the tenth but I was stupid which lead to Bea being confiscated D:

However this gave me more time to plan this and I have a feeling Mello's more IC than he has been.

It also gave me time to play a tonne of xbox.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note

Matt

Mello stayed on the couch that night. I think he understood to some extent what I was thinking but at least he knew well enough not to push the invisible boundaries that were already at breaking point for our friendship.

I don't think he slept though. I was in no better shape. I could hear the relentless tossing and turning from Mello, the rustling of the duvet echoing through the front room and through the adjacent door, into my room. I turned to face the alarm clock, the vibrant red of the numbers indicating how early it was. 03:14. I let out an exhausted groan, slipping out of bed. Tugging on a baggy t-shirt, I pulled back the curtains casting a glance outside. The moon was still visible, edges of the sky a sickly orange colour thanks to light pollution.

Groping around in the dark, I found the light switch, quickly flicking it on. I winced in the sudden light, closing my eyes as I waited to adjust, fingers running through my hair. I shouldn't of said that I understood why Mello came back when I didn't. Sure he kissed me (State the obvious Matt, well fucking done) but if I understood I wouldn't be up at three in the Goddamn morning, unable to sleep because I had so many questions in my head.

Venturing from my room I made my way to the kitchen, flicking on the coffee pot, waiting for it to boil. I rested my head in my arms with a quiet sigh. I ignored the quiet sound of footsteps against lino, choosing to stay in my current position.

"Can't sleep either?" Mello asked quietly.

"Hn." I grunted in reply, stretching my arms out in front of me with a yawn, I moved to grab a couple of mugs from inside the white cabinet. Taking the pot of coffee I poured it into two mugs, turning to give one to Mello only to find that he had seated himself on the countertop, sweatpants dangerously low on his hips. I rolled my eyes at his almost nakedness which he seemed completely oblivious to and pressed the china mug into his hand. Mello took a quiet sip, eyes half lidded in bliss as the warm liquid slipped down his throat. "…Why did you come back?" I asked quietly. "I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't."

Mello put the coffee down on the side, fiddling for a moment with the angle of the cup, ensuring that the handle was sticking out at a ninety degree angle before flickering his eyes to my face. "I promised didn't I? I'm a lot of things Matt, but I'm not a liar. Besides I had to make sure you didn't get bedsores from sitting on your butt for too long or get fat from eating nothing but junk food for three years."

"You didn't promise. You didn't say anything to me." I told him bluntly.

"Just because I didn't say it out loud didn't mean I didn't promise." He argued. "I may have been a giant dick to you, but you're my best friend Matt and that actually means something. It's not like either of us have a family to fall back on is it?" Mello shrugged, picking his coffee back up, rubbing at the water ring he made on the work surface. "Essentially, you're all I have."

Mello took a gulp of the coffee, hand gripping the china tightly. "That still doesn't explain anything Mells. I know you have a better reason to come and find me instead of wondering if I'm surviving." I pointed out.

Mello shook his head, blonde tresses cascading in front of his face. "That's it." He murmured, heels tapping on the cabinets.

"Fine." I shrugged. "If you won't say I won't bother asking." Finishing my coffee, I slid the cup into the sink, ignoring the mounting pile of dirty dishes already congregating there. Shifting myself over to the T.V., I switched on my Xbox, picking up the control, ready to game away the rest of the night.

I awoke later in the day, control still in my hand, game play paused with a gentle melody trickling from the speakers in the screen. A blanket was draped around my shoulders with a note in front of my feet. With a yawn, I picked it up and opened it.

Matt -

First off this place is disgusting. I cleaned. And it better fucking stay that way lest your games find their way to the pavement from the window. Secondly, you have no chocolate. I'm picking some up whenever I get off work. This is a one off. From now on you keep the chocolate supply up. Need I mention what will happen to your games?

And I guess what I wanted to, and failed to say last night was that I like you. A lot. And if you dare call me a pussy for not saying it your face and having to write it instead I will rip your fucking balls off, got it? Good.

I'll be back later.

- Mello.

I gaped at the note for a moment before folding it shut, tucking it under the television. Well at least some things made sense now. I mean I had done…some things with him. I just brushed it off as 'stupid kids experimenting thanks to hormones and also being barricaded off from the rest of normal society'. I never thought he would take it a different way and actually develop feelings for me. I guess on some level I did like him…I did kiss him back yesterday. I didn't even try to pull away and straight people do pull away when someone from the same sex kisses them seriously. Right?

I let out a sigh, clenching my fists. I was so confused. Maybe I did love him or maybe he was just my best friend. Either way, I did love him, whether platonically or otherwise and I didn't want to hurt him. Pulling the blanket off my shoulders, I folded it up, placing it back on the couch. I could only hope Mello would come home soon.