Chapter 36

When they were halfway to Lowtown, Fenris began to notice Hawke acting strangely. The mage kept stopping every couple of feet to look over his shoulder as if he expected them to be ambushed. Anders too, was acting oddly. He kept casting looks at the dark elf with a gleam in his eye that worried him. Aveline, after much prompting from Hawke, had agreed to go back and make sure Zevran was alright. Merrill seemed to notice something was wrong with Hawke as well, because it was she who stopped the group altogether.

"Hawke, what's wrong? You're acting like you have ants for pants." Merrill said. Despite the dire situation, Fenris snorted and covered his mouth to hide his grin. Anders seemed annoyed, shooting a glare at his partner. Hawke glanced at her, then looked back at Fenris. Why did Hawke have such a guilty look on his face? Then Fenris remembered why the mage may be uncomfortable in his presence. He coughed forcing himself to meet the mage's gaze.

"It's that, isn't it?" Fenris asked him. Hawke nodded, but he still had an expression on his face as if one of his limbs was being cut off.

"Part of the problem, yes. Why not see your sister later? Or invite her up to the mansion instead? I'm sure she'd love to meet your new boyfriend." Hawke interjected weakly. Fenris narrowed his eyes at the suggestion. Hawke hadn't been there when he had argued with Zevran, maybe hadn't even noticed him begging the smaller elf to stay.

"What part of 'Danarius' don't you understand?" Fenris snapped. He stopped when he noticed the mage flinch at the name his face going pale. Concerned, Fenris softened his tone, hoping to calm Hawke down. He had been a good friend to him over the years. He found the way the mage acted odd considering how fearless Hawke tended to be when pursuing their enemies. Right now he seemed almost…cowardly.

"I'm willing to forgive any misgivings between us, Hawke. I won't hold a grudge against you. And honestly, I could care less right now. I want to see Varania. Now." Fenris interjected for emphasis. Hawke's shoulders slumped as he gave the elf a haunted look.

"Okay." Hawke said weakly.

Fenris gave the mage a one last, concerned look before turning on his heel and continuing on toward the Hanged Man. Merrill asked the mage if he was okay, but Hawke shook her off. He seemed unable to look either of his companions in the eye as they walked. Fenris pushed it from his mind, deciding they could deal with the matter later.

By the time they reached the Hanged Man, all thoughts of Hawke were completely banished from his mind. Fenris didn't even wait as he shoved the door open to the tavern. When he saw her, he already knew. So eager was he to see her he had even come in a few steps into the Hanged Man. Seeing her there, however, after months and months of thinking of her. Wondering if she should recognize him from a distant time long past. When Varania turned her head to gaze at him, Fenris already knew. He was breathless as he stumbled towards her, distantly realizing with a sense of awe they had the same eyes.

She was petite, shorter than he was, with pale milky skin rather than the velvety darkness of his. She blinked and glanced at him, a look of surprise crossing her beautiful features. Fenris was shaking, raising his hand as if to calm a frightened deer not wishing to scare it. Her eyes flickered down to the metal gauntlet encasing his hands and seemed to take in his appearance. Catching his breath, he tried to push the words past his lips, the rehearsed lines he had kept on hand to say to her for the first time they met.

"Varania?" He said as if fearing she were an illusion. A sad smile spread across her face as he uttered her name. Fenris swore his heart stopped when she gave him that sign of acknowledgment as her brother.

"It really is you. I didn't think you would come." Varania said, her tone seeming to ring with a hidden warning. Fenris was too awed by her presence to care, burying his instincts to analyze the signs something was off about the reunion.

"I remember you. We used to play in our master's courtyard while mother worked. You would call me-"

"Leto, that's your name." Varania said, her gaze shifting to the ground. Fenris wondered if his appearance scared her. Mustering his scattered thoughts, he tried to ease the tension in the room. Behind him he could hear Hawke shifting nervously tapping his stave on the floor quietly as if sending a signal to someone.

"Leto? A friend of mine would think such a name is too cute to describe me." Fenris said, trying to crack a grin for her sake. Seeing her face fall at the joke, he felt his grin fall as he stepped forward reaching for her arm.

"What's wrong? Are you unhappy to see me?" Fenris asked her, concerned. He felt his stomach between to twist in knots wondering for a horrifying moment if she meant to reject him. Say this was a mistake and that they should part ways. Behind him, he heard Hawke quietly clear his throat as he raised his voice.

"How long are you planning to wait back there? He already knows something is up, he won't attack because of his sister." Hawke said, his voice calm and flat. Fenris started, turning to glance at the mage in confusion. Hawke's face was stoic, not meeting his gaze as he focused on a familiar figure coming down the stairs.

Fenris froze when he saw who came towards him. His heart began to pound, panic beginning to set in as he recognized the ice blue eyes staring at him in appraisal. Behind Danarius came a regiment of guards far, too many for him to take on alone. If he had the help of Hawke, however…

Hawke ignored Fenris, nodding to Danarius as the other mage pulled closer. Anders had a satisfied look on his face as he glanced at his partner, clearly proud of him. Hawke's face was pale as if he were sick but he managed to hold onto his lunch as the magister approached. Fenris felt as if he were about to be sick as well.

"Fenris, such a pleasure to see you again after so long. I thank you, Hawke, for taking such good care of him for me. You have no idea how much trouble I've had trying to retrieve him. I spent a small fortune alone trying to find out his whereabouts." Danarius said with a sigh, as if they were discussing this over tea.

"You led him here?" Fenris hissed at Varania. A guilty look was all the answer he needed as shifted his gaze to Hawke taking a step back from the trio. He reached up his hand, shaking as he tried to grasp the hilt of his sword in order to draw it. How could Hawke do this to him? Fenris glanced at the grim mage whom he had dared to call "friend" for so long. How could he have been so naïve?

"Now, now, Fenris, your sister did what any good Imperial citizen should. Now Hawke, as to the reward for returning my stolen property, the Tevinter Imperium is in your debt. Your partner, Anders I believe, mentioned you had something already in mind?" Danarius asked of the man as if Fenris wasn't even there. Furious, Fenris felt his markings beginning to activate shimmering as he imagined shoving his fist through Danarius' chest and ripping his heart out through his throat.

"Don't Fenris. Don't force my hand." Hawke threatened, stepping in front of the Tevinter Magister. His eyes still held that deep regret, but seemed to be those of a dying man. Begging for salvation even while knowing as he lay there he was damned. Anders shifted as well, his grip tightening on his staff as he fell into a low stance ready to cast in case his partner gave the signal. Danarius seemed relaxed at the idea that the Champion of Kirkwall had taken on the role of his bodyguard.

"You traitor!" Fenris hissed, spittle flying from his lips. His eyes blazed as he glared at the mage even as his heart felt as if it were being ripped in half.

"To think, you even dared to call me 'brother'. At one point I was willing to believe you, Magister. Not all mages are born with an evil intent and look where it got me. Handed back to the very man you swore to help me kill." Fenris growled, his grip tightening on the hilt of his sword. Hawke didn't miss a beat as his eyes narrowed as he raised his staff the tips of his fingers beginning to crackle with energy.

"Danarius promised not to hurt you this time, Fenris. He won't…use you like he did before. You'll be happier once you forget me and everyone else. Forget you ever wanted to be free. You're just not ready to be free, Fenris." Hawke said, trying to make his voice sound soothing. Danarius pouted, his lips pursing together as he cast a concerned glance towards his prized possession.

"Try not to be too rough with him, Serah Hawke. Come, Fenris, will you really throw away your life for freedom? Why, it's nothing more than an ideal! A fantasy created in people's minds to help drag them through this stinking pit we call 'life' each day." Danarius stated, sounding amused at his own explanation.

Fenris hesitated, glancing at Hawke hoping to see that familiar grin. A sharp laugh as the Champion made a biting comment to the magister and then proceeded to dismember him one limb at a time. He could see in his mind his comrade for the last nine years turning around and smashing the end of his staff in Danarius' ugly smirking face. Rarely does life mirror what one pictures in their mind though as Fenris let his hand slide from the hilt of his sword, Mercy, Hawke had given him not to long ago.

"I won't fight you, Danarius." Fenris whispered, hanging his head to hide the expression on his face. In his mind, he saw Zevran glaring at him in contempt as he left. He would not be coming back to him, to tell him he wanted to stay by his side.