The wedding reception at Lady Edith's and Sir Anthony's wedding had been a dreary event. Everyone had smiled and toasted and congratulated them and tried to pretend they were happy for them, but Edith knew they were all thinking about Sir Anthony's inconstancy.
There was at least one person present who seemed to be genuinely happy for both of them, Mrs Emilia Cheetwood, Anthony's elder sister. Edith liked her very much. She knew that Emilia had been of great help to Anthony many times, both when his wife and newborn son died, and also when he had first returned from the war. Emilia had done her utmost to help her brother, though she had her own devastating problems to deal with.
Now Emilia told Edith that she had married the most sweet-tempered man in the world - which Edith already knew, of course. Anthony just looked embarrassed over his sister's praise, but then Emilia said she knew for certain that Anthony had been very lucky too, in marrying Edith. Which made Anthony smile proudly at his sister, the first genuine smile Edith had seen on his face during the whole reception.
Edith's own family and friends had managed to be friendly to her, but she could feel their coldness towards Anthony, even though they didn't say anything bad. Except for Granny, who had been horrible. Edith loved her Granny, but there was no more polite way to put it, she had been horrible. Edith knew that Granny loved to say those pointed things, to shake people up a bit. But how could she be so cruel to Anthony, who was already so exhausted and vulnerable?
The bad mood prevailing at the party did nothing to diminish Edith's happiness, though. She loved him, she had made him marry her and she was sure he loved her too. She would have her wedding night, she would have her honeymoon and with any luck she would also in due time have Anthony's children.
She was glad that they would go away tomorrow, that they were going to Italy. That would give the scandal a chance to die down before they were back at Locksley again.
She didn't think Anthony had treated her at all well. In fact he had really humiliated her, but she was never going to reproach him for that. Why destroy the future by thoughts and nagging about the past? She sensed that he was still not feeling very well, that he had nothing of her exhilarating happiness. He was only keeping that stiff upper lip he had talked to her about.
But she would make him happy, she was sure of that. To be married to her would make him happy. She was going to start making him happy tonight. They just had to get through this day.
...
Thinking back on it Edith realised that most of this day had been wonderful.
She had been so happy preparing for the wedding in the morning. She had been so happy dressing as a bride, with her sisters around her and her mother telling her that she was beautiful. She had been so happy walking up the aisle with Papa. She had been so happy seeing Anthony waiting there for her. She had been so happy she could only whisper when they had greeted each other as she came up to him, and he had called her his sweet one.
Then, suddenly, unexpectantly, she had been thrown into the darkest despair.
But after she had managed to persuade him to go through with the wedding, she had felt her happiness starting to return. And when they were pronounced husband and wife, and it finally was too late for him to change his mind, her happiness was almost as strong as it had been in the morning.
She just couldn't stop smiling. He was hers now, hers to have and to hold! He really was! From this day forward. Hers to love and to cherish. And to obey - well, they would see about that. He had obeyed her when she asked him not to abandon her, so perhaps it was upon time for her to obey him a bit.
...
"The poor girl wont have much of a wedding night, I'm afraid!" Lady Violet had said to Cora when Edith and Anthony had left Downton for Locksley.
Edith hadn't heard her grandmother's remark, but had she heard it a couple of hours later she might have agreed. Because by that time she was all alone in the bridal chamber, waiting for her new husband to come back to her. Waiting in vain, since more than an hour, getting more and more sad and worried.
...
When they came to Locksley it had all started out very well. The servants were out welcoming their newly married master and his young bride. She knew who they all were already, she had been introduced to them during their engagement. She was glad to see that they all seemed to be genuinely happy for their master and also for their new mistress.
Anthony had even managed to carry her over the threshold. He only had use of one arm, but that arm was strong and she was so much smaller than him. He had put his arm around her, under her buttocks, and lifted her straight up. It was more like you carry a child than a new wife. But still, it was better than nothing and very much more than she had expected.
...
They had started their evening with some tea in the library. They were talking and laughing, and also kissing. But there was still a restraint between them. She could sense that he was feeling awkward and also a little ashamed about what had happened during the day.
She had tried to reassure him, tried to show him that she bore no grudge. That she was happy and thankful that he had gone through with the wedding. That the only thing that mattered to her was that they were now husband and wife. That she was looking forward to their wedding night and their honeymoon, really looking forward to it.
...
When they finally entered the bridal chamber everything was perfect. There were candles and flowers, and the bed looked soft and inviting. Edith was surprised that she didn't feel more nervous than she did. After all, she was going to do things she had never done before. She was going to share her body with Anthony, let him see and touch everything that she normally kept hidden away under her clothes. Let him - well, that part of him - enter into her body. She felt giddy when she thought about that, but she was much more happy than nervous about it all.
After a few wonderful kisses he left her alone, telling her that he was going to have his man help him undress. Edith had offered to help him, but he simply wouldn't hear about it. He didn't want to be a nuisance to her, he said, and he wouldn't believe her when she said she would enjoy doing it.
"I'll just let my man help me into my pyjamas", he had said. "After that I'll be right back to you. You can change into your night-things too, if you like."
She hadn't known what to say. She didn't want him to leave her like that, not on their wedding night, but he insisted.
"I'm not going to abandon you again, my dearest darling. I promise!" he said. Then he gave her a very soft kiss, and left her alone in the bridal chamber, once again repeating that he didn't intend to be a nuisance to her.
So she slipped into the nightdress and nightgown she had ordered for her wedding night. She was feeling sweet and beautiful, and happy and only a little bit nervous. All the awkwardness of the day was gone, she was full of love and happy anticipation.
But he didn't return. She waited for more than an hour, but he still didn't come.
Didn't he want her? Had she pushed him too hard?
...
She finally decided to go and look for him, even if she was sure it wasn't the done thing for a new wife on her wedding night. But she got so worried, what if he had got a heart attack or something? So she went through the dressing room, to his old bedchamber.
There she found him, sleeping on top of the bed.
He was on his back, looking wonderful, wearing a new blue and white striped pyjamas. He had no sling, both his arms were stretched out beside him, it was impossible to see which one was hurt. Or that any one of them was, for that matter.
She smiled at the sight, feeling some of her confidence returning. He had bought himself a new pyjamas, he had wanted to look good for her on their wedding night. He hadn't planned to abandon her there in front of the altar. It had only been some strange spur of the moment.
And he was sleeping on top of the bed. If he had planned not to come to her, surely he would be lying beneath the covers?
In that wonderful striped pyjamas she thought he looked like a gift, wrapped in striped paper. She wondered if she should wake him up and ask him if she could open her present, like an impatient child on Christmas Day. But she decided not to. She had pushed him enough for one day. And even though she was inexperienced and didn't know all the details, she sensed that the whole wedding-night thing would be much better and more enjoyable both for him and for her, if he was less tired. She had better let him sleep until he woke up by himself.
But she so wanted to see what was beneath that nice pyjamas.
Then she noticed something she had never seen before. Something sticking out of her parcel. Something very big and strangely enticing. A part of his body she had never seen before.
His big, naked feet.
...
AN: I have just watched the first season of Cold Feet with Robert Bathurst for the first time, so I just couldn't stop myself from putting my foot in it.
Or rather Sir Anthony's feet!
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I think you have got the pattern by now, three chapters of Jonathan/Elizabeth fluff, one chapter of could-have-been-worse Edith/Anthony wedding-and-after. It is the proportions I can manage. The Jonathan/Elizabeth chapters I usually write with a big smile on my face, the Edith/Anthony ones are a bit more depressing to write. They will get a little happier now, but not every chapter. Of course there is and will be quite a bit of seriousness in the Jonathan/Elizabeth parts also.
Maybe you think I could have made a story with only the Edith/Anthony parts. But I am actually not at all sure that I could have done that. And I happen to think that the Jonathan/Elizabeth parts tell a lot about Anthony too.
...
Thank you for reading! Thank you so very much for your reviews!
And thank you so much for putting up with my rather peculiar Edith/Anthony-story for so long!