Angel
Ariana Elizabeth Rhee came kicking and screaming into this fucked up world a little after four o'clock in the morning. Daryl and I heard her cries through the open window as we sat on the front steps of Barrington House. I cried when I hear her making herself known to the world. They were happy tears and I was so ecstatic for Maggie, but a little sad for her too. Glenn was not here to share the joy with her.
All night Daryl and I sat outside waiting for word. I got him to talk about Glenn. He opened up to me the best under the cover of darkness. This was the first time since we came to The Hillside that we had one of our all-night talks. That had happened quite often back when we lived alone in the house since there wasn't anything else to do, but here it was different. And I had missed it. Now that I could put most of the faces with his stories, they meant even more.
Tonight was definitely a Glenn night.
I had Daryl start at the beginning. And that was Atlanta. I already knew the story how Merle had been left there because he was acting like a jackass. Daryl said that initially he blamed them all, especially Rick, but it didn't take him long to realize that it was Merle's fault. He knew what an obnoxious prick his brother could be.
Glenn was young, but he was the one that came up with the strategy on how to grab the abandoned bag of guns Rick had dropped. It impressed Daryl and Glenn continued to do that the entire time he was alive. He put Maggie and his family of survivors ahead of himself all the time. She was his number one priority right from the start. And as much as Daryl admired him, his description of how Glenn treated others sounded just like Daryl to me. Two very different men weren't all that different after all.
We let a little bit of time go by before heading up the stairs to see the baby. Even though it was the middle of the night, everyone was there. We hung towards the back waiting out turn. I could see that even though Maggie looked exhausted, she also was radiant as the baby was passed amongst us. Motherhood was agreeing with her already.
Carol handed the baby to Rick who held her for a while before giving her to Michonne. Then Michonne handed Ariana off to Rosita. Jesus and Aaron simply watched as did Carl. Finally, Rosita turned to me. I eagerly held out my arms for this little bundle of love.
Ariana had jet black hair that covered her little head. Her eyes were slightly open but I could tell she wasn't able to focus on much of anything as is typical of newborns. The slight almond shape spoke of her Korean lineage thanks to Glenn.
"Maggie, she is so beautiful," I told her. "So incredibly beautiful." She started to fuss in my arms and I was surprised that Daryl asked for her.
"You sure?"
"Hand her over, Angel." The smile he had didn't have me questioning him at all. I gave him the baby and she instantly quieted down. "See...kids like me."
"Judith always reacted the same way when Daryl held her," Carl added. "Always thought that was weird."
Carol walked in with a bottle of formula that she had gone to heat up since Maggie's milk hadn't come in yet. Daryl took it out of her hand and started to feed the baby. Who was this man? I had no idea that Daryl was this comfortable with babies. I stood there with my mouth open in surprise.
"Yeah, it's odd isn't it how they take to him?" Carol laughed.
"It sure is," I agreed. I would have rated him last in this room full of people as being the most uncomfortable with babies. I was wrong. It was the exact opposite. He seemed right at home.
"Daryl, can I try feeding my baby?" Maggie asked from the bed. The poor new mother had barely a chance to hold her own child with all of us here. Reluctantly, he handed her over.
"Got a name? If not, I'm sure I can come up with one for ya like I did for Judith?" he teased Maggie.
"Not another Lil' Asskicker," Carl said before Maggie could answer. The room burst out laughing.
Daryl tried to look insulted but he was smiling too much to pull it off. "Hey, that was a good name."
"It was certainly different, but yes she does have a name, Daryl. Ariana Elizabeth Rhee."
"And on that note, Maggie needs some rest, everyone. Why don't you come back in the morning so she can get some sleep?" Doctor Carson suggested.
Everyone said goodnight to the new mom and we all shuffled out of the room. The sky was starting to lighten since the sun was starting to rise. Daryl and I were both exhausted, so we undressed and immediately fell asleep as soon as we laid our heads down.
It was going on noon by the time I emerged from the trailer. Daryl had gotten up only after a few hours of sleep. I need more so I took advantage of the extra room in our small bed and immediately went back to sleep.
Even after almost two years of this apocalyptic mess, I still thought of coffee first thing when I got up each day. I was thinking of the caffeine rush I missed as I made my way up to the front steps and into the foyer of the mansion. The kitchen was empty except for a pot of oatmeal still staying warm on the stove. Usually, that was cleaned up by now but I took advantage of it and scooped myself out a generous portion.
I sat outside in the hot afternoon sun, enjoying what had become a breakfast staple for us. Daryl was around somewhere, but I had gotten used to him doing his own thing during the day. We occasionally made runs together, but not often. I was leaning back on the steps with my eyes closed when I heard footsteps approaching. I opened my eyes to see John who lived on one of the trailers heading toward me. He was one of the original people that had lived here before the Savior attack. He and a few others were able to escape and eventually make their way back.
"Hey, Jessie. Is Maggie around?" he asked.
"She's taking it easy today and maybe the next few. She had the baby last night. What do you need?" If I could help, I certainly would.
"Well, Maggie has Sarah, Reggie, and me going on a run. But she never said where she wanted us to go. Do you have any idea?"
"Does she have you looking for anything specific?" I asked him.
John shook his head. "No, just to add whatever we can to our supplies. You know food, medicine, batteries, candles…stuff like that."
"Alright, are there areas that you haven't scavenged in yet? Or that could use another go through?"
"I have a map that we've been marking locations off on. Do you want to see it?" That was a smart move by him.
"Yes, then we can figure out where you should go next. We can figure this out without bothering Maggie. Where's the map?" I could easily handle this without getting the new mother involved. Piece of cake.
"In my trailer. I'll go get."
"John, meet me at the picnic table. We can spread it out there."
And this was how the next few days went. I hung out on the steps of the mansion and took care of the little stuff, so not to bother Maggie. Nothing major came up or I would have asked her. I hoped she didn't feel I was stepping on her toes. I just wanted to make these early days with the baby easy for her.
The morning of day four I was relaxing on the steps after enjoying another bowl of oatmeal when Maggie strolled outside carrying Ariana. I had made sure I visited her each day, but I never stayed long.
"So I hear I have you to thank for the quiet days since Ariana arrived," Maggie said joining me on the steps. The sleeping baby was cradled in her arms.
Her smile told me that she wasn't mad. "There was no need for you to be bothered with little stuff. Ariana was more important for you to be taking care of. It gave me something to do while Rick and Daryl do whatever they do. How is the little angel?"
"She's easy so far. All she does is eat and sleep. I can stare at her for hours just watching. I see so much of Glenn in her already." There was a tiny note of sadness in her voice. I couldn't imagine how painful it was losing Glenn, especially in the brutal way he died. I know losing Daryl would destroy me and we haven't been together nearly as long as Maggie and Glenn were. I envied her strength. The more I got to know her the more she impressed me.
"I had Aaron put one of the cribs in the office. It's time I got back to running this place. Please do not think that I didn't appreciate you helping me out this past couple of days because I really did," she told me with a gentle smile.
"Maggie, it was no problem at all. But I do have a question. Do you have anyone in charge of runs?"
She shook her head no. "Not really."
"Then I'm offering to do that job for you if you want. It takes a lot to run this place and you shouldn't have to worry about scheduling runs and where to go. If there's something special you want me to have them look for, just let me know. I don't want to step on your toes, but it would be good to have something to do."
I meant it. If she let me do this, I would have a job…something to keep me busy. I sure wasn't used to having so much free time. I was bored and it was starting to drive me crazy.
"You sure? I would love that."
"Oh my God, yes. Before I met Daryl I spent all my time just trying to survive and make it to the next day. With Daryl, we had each other and always found ways to keep busy."
"So I heard," Maggie laughed.
I burst out laughing too. "Not just sex. We're not only about the sex…well maybe a lot about sex, but we did other non-sex stuff too. Maybe not a lot, but we did find other things to do. I think."
Okay, Maggie was giving me the same smirk that Carol and Michonne. "Alright, I know what you are thinking. Same as the other girls…Daryl? Right. You don't see him that way. Am I right?"
"Yes. In all the time we've been a group…a family, he never showed any interest in anyone. And he shows up with you and you guys…"
"Cover the baby's ears." Maggie laughed but did it anyway. "Fuck like sex-crazed maniacs."
"That is certainly one way of putting it."
"If I can hold the baby, I will tell you about me and Daryl. I know everyone is curious and if I get to the 'too much information' phase. Feel free to cut me off." Maggie handed Ariana over to me faster than I thought she would. My poor Daryl. All the girls wanted to know what he had that drives me crazy and I'm about to spill the beans.
"Well, first of all, we have incredible chemistry. Neither of us admitted it in the beginning, but I wanted him from the second I saw him bleeding on that old dirty wood floor of the shack I found him in. He was unconscious, but when he first woke up he thought he was dead and I was an angel. It had something to do with the light coming in and my hair, that's why he calls me Angel. But when he knew I was real and he wasn't dead, he said that he was attracted to me like he never was to another woman. But it took us a couple of weeks for things to happen. I didn't know if he liked me and he didn't know if I liked him, until I kissed him. I had done a run on my own, he was still healing. I barely made it back and I was exhausted and a mess. I was so happy to see him, I just kissed him and he kissed me back. That was the beginning of us. Then we found out that we both like sex the same way - hard, rough and off the wall. And yeah, I know I get loud, but I can't help it. Mags, he's just that good."
Ariana started to squirm in her sleep so I bounced her a little in my arms to quiet her down. "Really?" Maggie asked me.
"Part is the chemistry we have, but the other part is that…damn he'll kill me for telling you this. He can't know I told you this. Part of it is that he's hung like a goddamn stallion and he knows how to use it."
Before Maggie could respond, Rick and Daryl both came from around the side of the building over to us. "What are the smiles for?" Daryl asked.
I looked at Maggie and she looked at me, and we both just burst out laughing. There was no way he was going to know that I had been talking about the size of his dick with her. That was confidential girlfriend information.
"What did I say?" he asked us looking confused.
"Nothing Babe. We're just being silly." Time to steer him to another topic. "Maggie and I were talking and she's agreed to put me in charge of the runs we make. Locations, sending out the teams… that sort of stuff. It'll take this off her plate and give me something to do."
"We don't have to report to you when we go out, do we?" Rick asked. I would love to tell him, yes but I knew that would never happen.
I gave them both a big smile. "No, you boys just keep doing whatever you do all day or go wherever you go. I'll take care of the real workers."
Could have sworn that Rick's cough sounded more like the words "bull shit" than an actual cough. Daryl just gave me his evil look that turned me on more than it did scare me. He should know that by now.
And that's how I finally started to contribute here at Hillside. The runs were coming back more successful than before and I felt like I was making a difference. I went on a lot more runs than before and had us looking for stuff in places they didn't consider before.
It was a few weeks later and the temperature was starting to change. Days were warm, but no longer hot. The cold weather would be coming and we needed to prepare for that. Finding warm clothing was now top on my list along with food and medicine.
There was a sporting goods place in a nearby town that we had been through briefly. Anything that was a weapon or camping gear or anything like that was long gone, but they still had clothes there. Now it was time to go grab what they had. I set up a run for myself, John and two other residents to go on. We took a smaller box truck that they had found since we could fit more supplies in it than a car.
We made it to the store without any problems. Inside they still had a decent selection of clothes, boots, hats, and gloves. "We take everything," I told my team. "This way we have stuff for new people. Don't worry about sizes because everything goes with us."
We parked the truck out back so that if anyone drove down the street they wouldn't see it. Then we carried load after load of clothes outside. I had Amy in the truck moving everything back. There was no reason to sort anything, we just needed to do this as quickly as possible. Boxes of boots came next. We concentrated on the adult sizes, since the only children we had there were Judith and Ariana. I knew what size Judith wore, but this store didn't carry anything her size. However, there was a children's store a few storefronts down.
The four of us stood outside the back of the truck. "Okay, John you and Benny finish up with the hats, gloves, and socks. Then take one more sweep to see if we missed anything that we could use. I'll take Amy with me. I want to check in that kids shop a few doors down for stuff for Judith. It shouldn't take us long."
"Gotcha, Jessie. This is a good haul. We'll finish up and meet back here at the truck."
"And if you guys see a problem coming up, honk and we'll drop everything and run. Okay?" Our safety had to come first before anything else. Losing people on runs due to careless mistakes was all too common, but I had yet had that happen to me.
I grabbed my pack with me and used the crowbar I had brought along to pry open the back door of the kid's shop. We lucked out that it was empty of walkers. "What are we looking for?" asked Amy.
"Anything for Judith. Look for 2T or 3T sizes. Shoes in 7 or 8."
We scoured the store as fast as possible throwing whatever we found into shopping bags we found behind the counter. I was filling one last bag with stuffed animals and toys when we heard a car engine approaching. We both ducked down as an SUV slowly passed by through the parking lot. Silently I prayed that John and Benny had heard it too.
I moved toward the front of the store but staying low. I wanted to get a look at the vehicle and the people inside. If they stopped and attacked us, I wanted to know as much about them as possible. The car stopped nearly right outside of the children's store. I could see the three occupants talking amongst themselves.
Then the guy in the front passenger seat turned his head toward the window and my heart stopped. It was Jason. The asshole that was responsible for me being gang-raped. It was the worst night of my life. He was alive and right outside the store I was hiding in.
I wasn't afraid of him, I was angry. I was no longer the same girl I was before or immediately after the rape. I was stronger, smarter, and I was prepared to kill him. Knowing that he was still alive made my decision easy…he had to die. And I was ready to do it.
A man like Jason wasn't a one-time rapist. He got off abusing women, so I knew he hadn't stopped with me. There was no way I could let a man like him live. It didn't look like he was with the same guys. I didn't recognize the one in the backseat, but I was sure he'd travel with the same type of guy he was. They got off hurting women and watching the abuse. Nope, there was no way I could let them live.
Nor could I let them get away.
"What do you see?" asked Amy.
Somehow I found the ability to speak. "White SUV with three guys in it. Listen, Amy. Let's just take these bags and head back to the truck. I think we got enough."
I was trying to come up with a plan. There was no way I could go back to the Hillside and get Daryl. I would lose Jason. Even though I would be on foot and they have a car, I was going to follow them. I had to.
Amy and I slipped out the back door and tossed our bags into the back of the truck. John and Benny were already there. "Did you see that car?" Benny asked.
"Yes, those guys are nothing but trouble. John, drive the truck out that back entrance. Stay off the road that runs in front of this strip mall. Just get all this back without running into trouble."
"Why does it sound like you aren't coming with us?" he asked.
"I'm not. I have something need to take care of. I'll make my way back on my own."
"I don't like that, Jessie. You should come back with us." I appreciated John's concern, but I had to do
this.
"I'll be fine. You guys just go. Okay?"
"What are we going to tell Daryl? He's going to want to know why you didn't come back with us and he's not going to be happy. He's a guy I don't want to get on his bad side, so please change your mind, Jessie." John like many of the others at Hillside was afraid of Daryl. I didn't think he'd take this out on them, he knew I was strong-willed. There's no way I'm going to let them stop me.
Yeah, Daryl was going to be mad. Furious was more like it, but I would lose their trail if I waited for him. I needed this revenge as the final part of my healing. He would have to understand. "Tell him I'm settling up an old score. He'll know what that means. Just get this load back safely."
I didn't give them a chance to argue. I threw my backpack on and took off through the back lot and around the building. They didn't stop me, I never gave them a chance to. Now I was off to follow that SUV. There was a man I had to kill.