Chapter Thirty Six
James paused as they entered the entrance hall. The double doors of the Great Hall were open but for the moment they were out of view from everyone in there. A loud buzz of chatter and general party gathering noises filled their ears. He knew that as soon as they walked in, an uncomfortable silence would wash over everyone. He looked down at Lily, who looked incredibly nervous, and placed his hands on her forearms, his thumb gently rubbing them.
"If we go in there, Lily, there is no turning back," said James, gazing at her with a sad longing as he grabbed her left her hand and held it by her ring finger. "I have wanted to put a ring on your finger ever since I was thirteen years old but if you have any doubts at all you have to take it off. This has to be a definite thing if we walk in there."
"I don't know whether I should be angry or not about the fact you doubt me but this ring is staying on my finger," said Lily with a smile, her hand reaching up entwine into his raven tresses. "I may not have liked you or loved you for as long as you have me but I know how you've made me feel this past year and I know how you're making me feel right now."
James grinned, placing his hand over hers and taking it out of his hair so he could clasp it warmly in his own. "I don't think my thirteen year old self would have quite believed this."
"I don't think my thirteen year old self would believe this either," laughed Lily, giving his hand a squeeze.
"We're going to do this," said James, a large smile spreading across his face. "I'll go in first, they'll be too determined to find out what happened to notice you sneak in."
"I'm not ashamed of the fact I've been sleeping with you all year," admitted Lily hotly.
"I know you're not, flower, and neither am I," soothed James. "But like you said there are a lot of respectable people in there not to mention all the students. I don't want you subject to the stares and silence until they know."
"I understand," smiled Lily. "I'll weave my way to Alice and Rory."
"I sort of feel like I did before my first professional Quidditch match," claimed James. "Scared and nervous but filled with such an excitement."
"And you'll do just as brilliant now as you did then," said Lily, placing a soft kiss on his lips.
"I will do now," smiled James. "Right here I go, if I run out screaming make sure you follow my lead."
James inhaled deeply before walking into view of the Great Hall and calmly strode into the Hall with determination splashed across his face. Unnervingly, everybody hushed and the huge hall was cloaked in near silence. The only sounds were that of his shoes thudding along the floor. He walked briskly up to the head table where he and Gwen were supposed to feed each other wedding cake and act sickly in love. He stood still bravely as everyone's eyes were on him. Luckily James was used to crowds and public speaking but this was still nerve wracking for him.
"Hello everyone," said James loudly, capturing everyone's attention. Nobody even noticed Lily slipping in quietly. "I suppose you're all wondering what an earth happened here today and I owe those who don't know the details an explanation."
"An explanation would be appreciated," said Dumbledore in an uneasily even tone.
James nodded with enough respect to look ashamed with himself. "I never wanted to marry Gwen, and I'm sorry all of you had to be involved in today's activities. Wow... standing here is like being in that dream where you are walking around school naked."
"Well you should know," laughed Remus. "You did it sixth year." James grinned, remembering the memory fondly as the hall erupted in chuckles.
"It's probably how you got Lily to fall for you in the first place," smirked Sirius, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. James flushed red and waiting for the mutterings to cease. He glanced at Lily who was slinking behind Rory, she peaked out and sent an encouraging smile at him.
"Thanks for that, Sirius," grinned James, laughing when Sirius shouted out, 'Anytime." "I'd actually forgotten I'd done that, it was against my will as a dare may I add but I apologise for anyone who was mentally scarred by that." He grew more confident as the crowd laughed. Although he was slightly disturbed as some of the female students had dreamlike expressions across their faces.
"Anyways, I'm here to explain what happened today," said James, back to point. "I only proposed to Gwen because she was pregnant but she was never with child and it was all a ploy. A lie. A lie to stop me from breaking up with her so I could be with the one person I have always loved. I love Lily Evans, I always have and I certainly always will." Gasps ensued among the students, but the adults (especially the ones who were acquainted with James in his youth) had already been filling in the blanks.
James turned slightly, to look at Dumbledore. "I have apologised for the upset caused today but I will not apologise for loving Lily. I am fully aware that it's against the rules so before you can say anything, I will be handing in my resignation at some point today."
"No!" shouted out Lily, moving to stand in full view of James. "Don't you dare! Don't you give this up for me."
"Lily, I'm only here temporarily anyways," explained James, with a sigh. "After this summer, Professor McGonagall will be back. It's a matter of months before I leave Hogwarts so it doesn't really matter if I cut my short time here even shorter."
"But you love it here."
"I love you more though."
"If you leave Hogwarts you have nothing apart from me. If I leave then I can have you but I also have my career in Healing."
"We talked about this before and I don't care," declared James. "The only thing that matters to me is that I have finally gotten an engagement ring on your finger and it will soon be joined by a wedding ring."
"You finally proposed to the right girl, Prongsie," smirked Sirius, with thumbs up. James grinned warmly at his best friend, yes, he had finally proposed to the right girl.
"Now that you've explained to everybody exactly what happened today, I'm sure you won't mind accompanying me in the antechamber to talk about this matter in private," suggested Dumbledore, in a tone that suggested the fact it was merely suggestion quite out of the question. "Miss Evans too, will be required."
"If you don't mind, Albus, Louise and I will join you too," said his father, with his arm around Lily in a comforting embrace. James' mother was also stood with them; all three of them had walked towards James and Dumbledore. "I feel as though I should be in there to offer my support to my son and his intended bride."
"As you wish," said Dumbledore, as the five of them fled the stares and whispers of the people in the Great Hall to the small room that was behind the door to the side of the staff table.
James glanced at Lily as they entered the portrait filled room. Her face was solemn and nervous and he felt so guilty for causing this. He couldn't even comfort her because no doubt that would make things worse between him and Dumbledore. His parents, though, could do what they want; his mother was holding her hand and his father had placed his hand on her back, guiding her into the room.
Lily must have felt his hazel eyes on her because she looked up at him with a large radiant smile and he suddenly remembered that nothing else mattered. He would do anything if it meant he could see her dazzle him with her smile for the rest of his days.
"Oi! Potter! You finally got a ring on Evans' finger then?" asked a loud, high pitched voice. James whirled round, as did the others, trying to locate who had spoken. "I thought you were smart, Potter. It's me, Vi."
James grinned as he walked over towards the portrait of Violet, a pale wizened old witch who often had a little bit too much to drink with the Fat Lady. "I'm sorry, Vi, I didn't realise you're portrait was down here."
"We thought it might encourage her to behave a little more appropriately if she was down here," explained Dumbledore. "But alas, she still manages to get into mischief."
"Everybody likes a drink when the occasion arises for one, Dumbleydore," giggled Violet. "Besides this is a great occasion because I have won a bet! The Fat Lady owes me some booze for this."
"You betted that I would propose to Lily?" asked James with a smile.
"Of course not," scoffed Violet. "You asked her out about five times a day, of course we knew you'd propose. We gambled on her answer. You see, that's a little bit more unpredictable than your questions."
James heard his father laugh, and low chuckle resided in his own throat. "Well congratulations, Vi, luckily for me and for you she said yes."
"Yes well, I'll be getting off now, but make sure you come visit me again someday," said Violet, as she started walking through other people's portraits and eventually disappearing from the room altogether.
"You can't say this wasn't completely unexpected, Albus," remarked Harry, with a small smile on his face. James was glad his father had decided to break the ice first, as he himself had been wracking his brains for something to say and he had drawn a blank.
"I can't," said Dumbledore in agreement before turning to James, his blue eyes dimmed by the serious expression on his face. "Were you telling the truth?"
"Telling the truth?" asked James, perplexed. "I'm sorry, sir, I don't quite understand what you're asking."
"At the beginning of the year when I told you professors were not allowed to be intimately involved and you said you wouldn't dream of it, were you being truthful?"
"Yes sir, of course," replied James.
"And when I asked you once more on Valentine's day? And you assured me that you weren't so I told you, you were either a great liar or you had truly grown up. Which one was it?" asked Dumbledore, his blue eyes making steely contact with James' own hazel ones. James could do nothing but look Dumbledore directly in the eye and tell the truth.
"I was being a brilliant liar," admitted James, with a sigh. "By that time, I had fallen hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Lily by that point. I'm sorry I had to lie to you but at that point I was lying to everyone. I got caught up in my own and Gwen's lie and I could do nothing but damage control. If Gwen had been telling the truth about the baby, I would have gone through with the wedding and I would have stayed away from Lily for the rest of my life. I don't have to do that now though; the only thing standing in the way of me having a happy life with Lily is my job."
"James, throughout your years at Hogwarts, I was always hoping you would finally grow up and be mature," said Dumbledore with a small smile. "Because I knew that would be the only way for you to get Lily to finally say yes to you. I'm also going to let you know that when you departed ways the first time all those years ago, I was disappointed that it didn't last. Love is very important, especially in the bad times like this; I hope this time you don't let it go."
"You- you're not- you're not angry we're together?" asked Lily timidly, confusion apparent in her eyes. James raised an eyebrow in bemusement, but stayed silent. After all, he didn't want Dumbledore to change his mind.
"I'm disappointed that it happened this way," concluded Dumbledore, his blue eyes twinkling behind the half moon glasses once more. "I, like everybody else, was under the impression that Miss Barker was pregnant, which is why tried to make sure you two weren't together. At the start of the year, she may not have been 'pregnant' but you still had a responsibility towards her and I didn't want you to forget that, James, in your rush to be with your heart's desire. I know you have been deceived and tricked; if you hadn't you may not have acted this way, but you did. It was the wrong way to behave."
"I know that, and I'm sorry," apologised James. "I left little thought to Gwen, and if she had been telling the truth and news of Lily and I had come out, you would have had every right to be angry, disappointed... ashamed even."
"Ohhh let the poor lad be," said a booming voice in the corner to the right of James. He looked round to see a portrait of a wizard with a big handlebar moustache. James couldn't help but laugh a little.
"Erm, thanks for the support," said James with a weak smile.
"James, whilst you did act wrong, happiness in these dark times is rare so I'm glad you have found it," smiled Dumbledore. "Miss Barker, acted horribly towards you and I'm glad you are better off without her, it just would have been better if you had discovered that before you came to teach at Hogwarts. I sincerely hope the two of you will be staying on for the rest of the year."
A hand touched his shoulder making him jump slightly at the unexpected touch. He looked down to see Lily by his side with a huge smile on her glowing face. He grabbed her hand off from his shoulder and held it in his larger, rougher one. Whilst his thumb caressed her soft skin, his lips formed a large grin.
"I believe the Hall has erupted into an impromptu engagement party," chuckled Dumbledore. "Congratulations."
James never did see the look of pride and love on his parents' faces or the smile and twinkle that Dumbledore possessed. Nor did he hear the congratulations from the portraits that lived in the dimly lit antechamber.
Only the feel of Lily's lips on his, the warmth and love radiating from her, and rush of happiness coursing through him as her lips curled into a smile under his had his attention. It seemed they would hold his attention far better than anything else ever would from now on.
A/N: Well that is the last official chapter of Strictly Forbidden so I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed and read it Also let me know in your review if you would like to see an epilogue for this story! I have an idea for one but it depends whether you want it.