Disclaimer 1: If only they were mine, alas, they belong to Mr Wolf.
Disclaimer 2: I'm doing my best with the medical stuff, please don't take my interpretation as best or only way to treat NHL. While I'm trying to make it as close as I can, some of it is done for the sake of the story. Also, there may be misinformation but that is intentional and will be revealed throughout the story. I've Googled all medical information and consulted reputatable sites, so, having said all that... here it is...
Dedicated to my beautiful state of Victoria, devastated by the horror of February 7th, the souls lost and the tragic destruction.
Didn't quite get to the magic figure but I finished the chapter this morning and it's been a week...so here we go...
The next time Olivia woke she was in bed in a private room in the obstetrics ward, not that she knew that's where she was, all the rooms looking remarkably similar. Turning her head she saw Elliot asleep in the chair beside her bed and a frown creased her brow. There was something wrong with this picture. Trying to think through the events scrambled in her brain, Olivia was drawing blanks.
With no clock visible and the blinds drawn, Olivia couldn't work out the time of day but she knew she had things to be doing. Pulling back the blankets, she swung her legs around and propped herself on the side of the bed as her head told her to stop a moment.
"Where are you going?" Elliot asked, quickly coming to stand in front of her.
"I shouldn't be sleeping in your bed, you should. And Dickie, if I've been sleeping then no one has been with him. And if Kathy's coming home tonight then I want to see him before she gets there. And..." She stopped when Elliot's finger pressed against her lips.
"Firstly, it's Sunday and it's about 11:00 AM, so Kathy came home last night and is with Dickie; his sisters are there too. Munch sat with him all day yesterday so he wasn't alone...not sure if Dickie appreciated it though – said Munch had some strange ideas. Secondly, this is not my bed, it's yours. You collapsed yesterday morning through exhaustion and although you've been awake briefly on and off you have basically slept the whole time," he explained quietly.
"Am I alright?" she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his waist. She knew she had been feeling bad but to have slept for so long, in hospital; that just wasn't right.
"You are doing well, now," he said, kissing her nose. "There were lots of factors – your lack of sleep for the best part of the week, low blood sugar, high blood pressure and, of course, the baby."
"Oh, okay," she said nodding but then her brain started computing the information and there was something wrong...very wrong. "Whose baby?" she finally asked.
For a few moments, Elliot stared at her and Olivia couldn't work out the reason.
"El, whose baby?" she repeated, glancing around the room for evidence of said baby.
"Our baby, Livia," he answered, draping his hands over her shoulders.
"Our baby?" she echoed. "We didn't have a baby, did we?" she asked with a shake of the head.
"No, not yet," he replied smiling. "Junior is still safe and sound, right in here," he said, taking her hand and resting it on her belly.
Olivia's eyes widened as she looked at her tummy before forcing herself to look into her husband's eyes. "I'm pregnant?" she whispered.
"Yes, you are. Doc says about 14 weeks along," he confirmed, resting a hand over hers on her belly, as he leant in and kissed her nose.
"Really?" she asked.
"Really," he confirmed.
"Truly?" she asked.
"Truly," he confirmed.
"But how?" she asked, looking back at her belly.
"Well, I'm sure you know about the birds and the bees, Livia," he said with a chuckle.
"Yeah...but 14 weeks...I got my period and the doctor said no," she said, shaking her head again. "And you'd think I'd have realised it...I mean I know I've put on weight...but you'd think I'd have still realised..."
For the next few minutes Elliot explained the situation and the details of the conversations he'd had with Connie and later with the doctor and reassured his confused wife that this time there was no doubt.
"But how can you be so sure?" she finally asked, not wanting to believe, only to be left shattered again.
"I saw the evidence," he said simply and watched as her brow furrowed. "I was there when the doctor did the ultrasound, I saw junior for myself."
Really?" she asked.
"Really," he confirmed.
"Truly?" she asked.
"Truly," he confirmed. "And you saw junior too."
"I did?" she questioned, having no memory of it at all.
"You did," he confirmed. "Connie gave me this print out just in case you didn't remember."
Grabbing the paper from the side table, Elliot sat alongside his wife, one arm wrapped around her, holding her snugly, as she studied the picture. Saying nothing, Olivia tenderly traced the baby's form with her finger. Just as Elliot was about to speak he saw a big tear drop plop onto the page.
"Hey," he soothed, kissing her head. "You okay?"
"I dreamt it..." she said tearfully. "I dreamt I was pregnant and there was this ultrasound and ..."
"No dream, Livia. It was real," he said, kissing her head again.
As the words began to sink in, Olivia burst into tears and buried herself into Elliot. For a couple of minutes he held her tight, kissed her head and just let her cry. When her sobbing had eased, he pulled back slightly and wiped her face.
"What are you thinking right now?" he asked, not wanting to even hazard a guess as to the emotions coursing through her.
"Don't know," she said, trying to catch her breath.
"Okay," he said slowly. "Do you know what the tears are about?"
"No," she replied with a shake of the head. "I just want to cry," she added before breaking down sobbing once more.
For a long while, Elliot held her as Olivia tried to work through the gamut of emotions she was battling in her still fatigued state. It had only been four months since she'd collected him from the cab on a bitterly cold February night, and, since then, her whole life had been an intense and continuous rollercoaster – from Elliot's official diagnosis to surgery to treatments, to the stress of work and not getting leave and their replacements being killed, to Kathy's manipulation and straight out wickedness, to the kids and their issues. Then there was the pregnancy - or non pregnancy as they thought – and wedding and honeymoon and then Dickie's injury and a thousand and one other events that made up the details of life...all the while not knowing if the man she loved would be there at the end with her.
Nestled in his arms, there were a couple of things she knew for certain. One, was her deep and endless love for the man beside her. Two, was her pure joy at the growing life within her. Everything else would have to be processed when she was rested and capable of separating the emotion from everything else.
Pulling back, Olivia wiped her face.
"When can you take me home?" she asked, taking the Kleenex Elliot offered her.
"I'm ready to be discharged," he said and Olivia's eyes widened.
"Oh god, El, I forgot about your treatment...did you have the treatment yesterday?" she asked and he nodded. "How did it go?"
"Really well," he said. "They made me have it in my room and stay there an extra hour, just to be sure, but the side effects were minimal and then they let me come and sit with you."
"You didn't sit here all night, did you?" she asked. "Because that's not good for you."
"I didn't sit here all night, they wouldn't let me," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "They made me go at eleven, and I did, but I woke up at one and snuck back down and they didn't find me until nearly four, but I feigned sleep and they let me be. But just after six, they made me go back for the early morning obs and breakfast and I got back down after Bainbridge had been, sometime about nine."
"So, to answer my question, you have been sitting here most of the night," she said with a smirk.
"Well, no," he corrected. "For parts of it I was in bed with you."
"You're impossible," she said laughing as she hugged him.
Much to the relief of both of them, their individual doctors discharged them in the early afternoon and although they were both ordered to rest, Dickie was first on their priority list.
It wasn't until they got to the car, Elliot realised what Olivia had been up to before her collapse.
"When did you pack our stuff?" he asked, taking the keys from her.
"After I left Dickie and before I came to you?" she answered, smiling as he opened her door for her and settled her in the car.
"Why didn't you leave it until next week, like I said?" he asked when he'd climbed in the driver's side.
"Because that's her house and she was coming home, besides, I was hanging out to take my husband to our home and sleeping with him in our bed," she replied with a sigh. "Gotta problem with that?"
"Nope," he replied with a grin, he couldn't argue with her reason.
Pulling into the carpark at Elmhurst, Olivia could feel the tension build in Elliot. She knew he was anxious to see his son, and she also knew he felt bad not being there for him. When he opened her door for her and helped her out, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him briefly.
"You okay?" she asked, pulling her to him.
"Yeah," he replied. "Just want to see him..."
"Does he know about my little drama?" she asked.
"No, I just said you were exhausted and needed to rest and he agreed," Elliot said.
"Good," she replied.
"And I haven't told anyone about the pregnancy ... I thought it was only fair you knew about it first," he said grinning.
"Good," she repeated, she'd like a little extra time to get used to the news before telling the world.
.
Walking hand in hand down the corridor, Olivia stopped when she heard voices coming from Dickie's room.
"She does know we're married, doesn't she?" Olivia asked quietly, tugging on Elliot's arm.
"Yeah, I told her before the girls went to see her. Didn't want them to tell her – wasn't too sure how she'd react," he whispered in reply.
"How did she react?" she asked, wondering what she was about to walk in to.
"Didn't say a lot ... don't think she knew what to say...got the feeling she was surprised by the speed of it ... you know, something like a shotgun wedding..." he related.
"She actually said that?" Olivia asked.
"Not to me, but one of the girls' did when I spoke to them the other night," he said.
Before their conversation could continue, Dickie's door opened and Kathleen walked out.
"Dad! Liv!" she exclaimed. "How are you both? Are you okay dad?" she questioned, hugging him tightly, before doing the same to Olivia. "Liv, Dickie said you were exhausted – you look so tired, are you getting enough sleep?"
By the time she took a breath, and they could answer, Kathleen was dragging them into the room where the same questions were asked in a range of ways by the remaining children. In the end, Elliot answered for them both.
"We're both okay, just need to rest and follow doctor's orders. Now, more importantly, how are you son?" he asked, moving to the bed to hug and kiss his boy.
"I'm doing okay," he replied, pulling back the covers and revealing the injured leg. "Saw the physio today and they reckon it all looks good – and it has a mad scar, so that's a bonus."
"Good, sorry I couldn't be here," he apologised, sitting on the edge of the bed, holding Dickie's hand.
"That's alright," he said. "I know you couldn't help it, and Liv was here – so it's cool."
After a few minutes of chatter and light-hearted banter the mood shifted dramatically when Kathy returned and stilted conversations ensued. It was clear to all that Olivia was being polite to Kathy for the sake of the children but she was struggling with it.
"Elliot told me about your marriage, congratulations, Olivia," Kathy said, with no real warmth in her wishes.
"Thank you," she replied, barely glancing at the woman.
"And Dickie said you weren't well, are you feeling better?" she asked and Olivia cringed.
What she wanted to say was 'what the fuck do you care?" but in the end she just nodded.
"Yes, thank you," she replied. "Just need to rest."
"Did they say what's wrong?" she asked and Olivia was sure she was smirking.
"Olivia was exhausted and it all caught up with her," Elliot interjected. "She's had a lot to contend with over recent months." He slipped his hand into hers and squeezed it.
"Did they do any tests to be sure?" asked Lizzie, coming over to Olivia and hugging her.
"Yes, they did," Olivia replied, hugging her. "And everything's good."
"Are they sure? Not all results are right...mom's friend Amanda works at PathLab and was talking about the number of wrong results," she informed them.
In that instant Olivia knew something was wrong as Elliot reacted to his daughter's words. While no one else had noticed it, she was an expert at reading his body language and had seen this particular response too many times to count while on the job.
"Well, I'm sure my results are fine," she said kissing Lizzie's head.
Despite Elliot's attempts to move away from his wife, Olivia held his hand tightly while trying to figure out his mood shift. In the end, he asked his ex-wife and daughters if they'd mind giving him a few minutes alone with his son and they departed. As Olivia went to head out too he stopped her.
"You don't have to go," he whispered as he caught her hand by the door.
"Thought you wanted some privacy," she said, and while he did, he didn't want her out there to face Kathy alone.
"Well, I do ...but..." he started but stopped when he couldn't explain it.
"Why don't you talk to Dickie and I'll just use his bathroom," she offered.
"Yeah, okay."
.
Elliot came back to sit on Dickie's bed, taking his son's hand in his.
"How are you really doing, son?" he asked now they were alone.
"Pretty good, dad," he replied, determined to be just as stoic as his dad. "There's no real pain just a bit uncomfortable."
"Sorry, I couldn't be here," he apologised again.
"It's okay, dad, it was just bad timing," Dickie reassured him. "Sorry for taking Olivia away from you."
"That's okay," he said with a smile.
"Is Liv really okay, dad?" he asked in a whisper. "'Cause she looked so tired and sick leaving here yesterday morning."
"Yeah, she's okay now...just needs plenty of rest," Elliot informed him.
"Was she upset with me?" Dickie asked, glancing towards the closed bathroom door.
"No, why would she be?" he asked.
"Because I wanted Liv here and she couldn't go to you and then I wanted mom here – despite everything – and now mom's back we won't see as much of you guys and I didn't want her to think I was just using her... I mean I love her and everything and I didn't want her to think I didn't," he confessed, finding it hard to even look at his father.
"Liv loves you very much, and believe me, she understands about needing your mom despite what they do," he reassured his boy. "We may not see you every day at the moment but we'll see you as much as we can and you can phone us any time of the day or night."
"Can you tell Liv for me?" he asked quietly as the bathroom door slid open.
"I'll tell her the rest but I think the part about you loving her should come from you," he whispered, as Olivia's hand came to rest on his shoulder.
Smiling at both her boys, Olivia went to speak but it was taken by a yawn.
"Oh, sorry, " she apologised, "I guess I still need to sleep some more."
"In that case, I'll take you home," Elliot said, getting up from the bed. "Love you, son," he added, kissing the teen's head.
"Love you too, dad," he said, squeezing his hand.
Olivia moved around Elliot and kissed Dickie's head as well.
"Thank you for everything, Liv," Dickie said quietly.
"You're welcome," she replied, kissing him a second time.
"I love you, Liv," he said, in barely a whisper.
"I love you too, Dickie," she replied, caressing his face. "Now, we may not see you every day at the moment but we'll see you as much as we can and you can phone us any time of the day or night," she said and Dickie laughed. "What?"
"That's exactly what dad said," Dickie said with a chuckle. "Word for word."
"Well, then you know it's true," Elliot replied, wrapping his arm around Olivia. "Get some rest, son."
"Yeah, you two too," he replied and Elliot and Olivia departed.
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