AN: Now and future TW: Elements/portrayal of anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and depression. More details below.

So, my reasoning. Miku very much sees things in black and white, although she was slowly realising people do the wrong things for the right reasons, and vice versa. However, I think she's a character who has to see things to believe them, since she's not as introspective as Luka is. All of Luka's changes were made clear to Miku through her actions, and even then Miku had a firm belief that Luka could be a good person. This time, she needed a push.

About the trigger warnings, I know some don't like them, but I honestly think that they should be there for the people who do and will use them to keep themselves safe. I've always wanted to portray mental illness in my writing, especially since I've gone through anxiety/panic attacks and depression (along with other things) myself. I've done my research, and hopefully I can pull this off respectfully and sensitively.

Chapter Thirty-Seven (Luka's POV)

The jail cell was cold, damp, and barely fit for life. With Miku under Ezra's care, I doubted it was going to be sooner rather than later when I got out of here.

If, that was, I was going to get out of here at all.

My initial panic had subsided, undignified as it was, but it had settled into the pit of my stomach as an ever-present fear. What were they going to do with her? I had a feeling that Ezra had known about our presence in Nuriel for quite some time, which I cursed myself for overlooking the possibility, and that meant he had already known how close we were, hence the separation. I very much doubted that Miku's profession of love had been cause for him to come up with a plan on the spot. Ezra simply was not that kind of man, that was not how his brain worked. At least, that was only if I had the correct sources back when I was queen.

But Miku… I had to know what they were going to do with her. Which was why, I knew, they would leave me down here to rot without knowing what was going on. Yet Ezra himself had said he was not going to kill her. The possibilities churned through my mind, unwanted, causing the clenching feeling in my stomach to grip harder.

And here I was, stuck completely, unable to help, unable to do anything.

Useless.

I stopped pacing, and the cell grew quiet after my footsteps stopped echoing off the stone walls and floor. Sitting down on the wooden bed with no mattress to speak of did not help matters much, but I could concentrate.

I would not sit here and stew in my feelings. But it did not feel like there was anything else I could do.

Was this a test from my parents? Was this why they had arranged the letter to come through Ezra? I knew he probably had eyes everywhere, and it was another oversight on my part to not realise that my parents were most likely the same. I would not even have been surprised to know if they had watched me all the while I was in Mirren.

Stupid.

If I had my powers, none of this would have happened. If I had not been such a fool, then I would not have been in this situation. I would have been queen, and Miku would have been safe and happy at home in Willow Vale with her father.

But I had not, and this was the situation I was in.

Besides, I would not have experienced all of this, would not have grown to love and care for a group of people that in their own small ways mattered to the world. Mattered to me.

The door to the dungeon opened – I heard the heavy bolts being slid back and the door grating across the floor, and quiet footsteps made their way to my cell.

'Illaria,' I said, raising an eyebrow. 'I would not have expected you to come here.'

'I cannot stay long,' she said, smoothing down her flowing dress. 'This room is unguarded, but-'

'I assume you stayed quiet for a reason, back in the throne room?' I interrupted, my voice turning hard. Illaria looked away.

'I do not have any idea of what they plan for the girl-'

'Miku.'

'Miku. But I do have information in regards to your parents.'

'And you have a price for it, yes?' I asked.

'I believe that price will have already been paid.'

That was ominous, to say the least. But I pushed my feelings aside. 'Now, if you could tell me of my parents?'

'Of course. I am afraid it is not much. And you cannot let anyone know you have heard this. Do not even let anyone else know I have been down here.' She stared at me, hard, unflinching, and I nodded. 'Good, then I shall tell you. We were contacted by letter, an informant who knew you were coming and had been instructed to pass on this information. I do not know his name, but there was a way to trace the letter.'

'How?'

Illaria was still looking away from me. 'Ezra… found a way to uncover the courier's secret. He was from Veronis, but that is all that we know.'

Veronis… my home town. Why did everything seem to converge there? No matter, it helped us greatly.

If Miku was alive.

'Thank you, Illaria. This… it means a great deal. I shall find some way to repay you, though we do not have much.'

Illaria closed her eyes for a split second. Was that hope? I did not want to push her, however, since she was still Ezra's wife, and potentially very dangerous. This could all be a lie.

'I thank you for the offer,' she said. 'I will keep it in mind.'

With that, she turned away, and quickly left the room. The door ground shut again, leaving me alone.

Hours passed. There was a window, small enough to give hope to someone residing in the cell, but not enough to climb out through. The moon was high up in the sky now.

While I did not know Illaria's reasons for helping me, or hindering me if she had lied, she had given me an opening. If I was to somehow get out of this alive… if Miku was alive, then the group's goals had become one and the same – getting to Veronis.

But I could not think Miku as dead. I would not believe it. Illaria or Ezra could have come down and told me that Miku was dead, even if it was just to taunt me. But they had not, and so I would not assume the worst. Even though there was that annoyingly persistent feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach.

I just wished I knew what was happening. Then there was the option to create a plan, to help somehow. I did not understand Illaria's actions, but then again, I had not done very extensive research on her. From my knowledge, she was just Ezra's wife, a marriage of convenience and strong bloodlines. Though I knew she had magic, its effects were a mystery.

The door opened once more, and I stood up, stopping just shy of the bars that kept me trapped.

The footsteps were heavier this time, and there was more than one set of boots stomping on the ground. Two guards came to a halt in front of my cell, and one of them jingled his keys.

'We've been instructed to bring you to the throne room,' the one with the keys said. 'Don't try to run.'

I huffed. 'Do not think me so stupid.'

He unlocked the cell, and the other guard grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly outside. I did not comment, not wanting to appear weak in front of such brutes. The other guard caught my other arm, and they strode quickly to the entrance. I considered myself lucky that I was tall, so I was easily able to keep up with them, much to their annoyance.

Whatever they had done to her, they would pay. If it was not now, then it would be very soon indeed.

I was not naive enough to think that they had done nothing. I was already surprised I was not being tortured by Ezra himself, and that realisation made me feel worse. If I had not been harmed, then that only meant Miku would have been harmed more.

Unless, of course, this was false hope that I would see her. Maybe I was being led to some public display of torture after all. I had assumed that Ezra would keep that sort of business away from his carefully crafted public image, but I could not rule out the possibility.

I already had one scar. I would gain another, if it was able to help Miku.

The throne room was only a few steps away, and my stomach roiled, the panic I had felt when I was taken away from her reaching up and grasping my throat.

I was led inside through a side door.

The room was silent. I could not see her, and fear flooded my body. Was she dead? Had they brought me here with hope just to snatch it from me? I looked to my left, and saw Ezra lounging on his throne. Illaria was nowhere to be seen.

'Come in, come in,' Ezra drawled. 'She's not quite arrived yet.'

Then… she was alive? The guards yanked me forwards, and I struggled to keep my footing. But where had she been? Where had they taken her?

'My daughter has been taking care of your little human lover. They should be here any moment.'

That vile man had a daughter? I suppressed a shiver. I could only hope she was not like her father.

Unless, of course, she was worse.

The main doors opened, and there she was.

'Miku!' I called, but she did not appear to hear me. Her helmet was held in one hand, and the other was being held by who I assumed was Ezra's daughter. A chill ran down my spine. Her sword was gone.

'Galaco, dearest, you're back!' Ezra said, not bothering to stand on ceremony. 'Were you successful?'

Galaco dropped Miku's hand and ruffled her hair in a sickening gesture of possession.

But Miku did not react.

I tried to struggle out of the vice like grip of the guards, but they would not let go.

'Miku!' I tried again. 'Miku, can you hear me? Miku!'

Miku squeezed her eyes shut, and I heard Ezra laugh.

'Well done, daughter. Guards, let Luka go. She needs to be with her little pet.'

I barely heard him, and the second the guards released me I was there, gripping her shoulders. I wanted to hug her, to comfort her, but I did not, as her eyes were still squeezed shut, like she was blocking out the world around her. Her helmet dropped to the floor.

'What did they do to you?' I whispered. Tears began to leak past her closed eyes, and her mouth was pressed into a thin line. She was shaking uncontrollably. 'Oh, Miku, what did they do?'

I did not want to let her go, but I had to, so I could turn around and face Ezra and Galaco, who was stood by her father.

'What did you do?' I growled. The guards stepped forwards, but Ezra called them off.

'There's nothing they can do,' he assured them. 'But, yes, Luka, your question. Miku helped us, you see. She thought she'd save the town of Nevair, and in turn, save you.'

'You...' I said, stricken. 'You did not torture her?' I looked back at Miku, then back at Ezra. 'Then what did you do?'

'Regular torture is effective, yes,' Ezra said, with a wave of his hand. 'I much prefer breaking someone's mind. Pain can do that, of course, but taking away everything that a person believes in, well… that's interesting now, isn't it? I'm sure you would say the same, Luka.'

I looked away. I was thankful that none of my past dealings had involved Ezra or his family. If anything, that was the one thing he cared about in his life, or so I had been told. I was sure his daughter would be much the same as him. But that was not important. What was important was the fact he'd done something to Miku. And Nevair… that name rang a bell.

'How long have you been watching us?' I asked. Ezra smirked.

'A long while,' he said, vaguely. 'I had to make sure that you weren't going to try and get your powers back, now didn't I? And I learned about your little friend, too. I was glad to see your… bond, was true.'

So, he had been watching me in Mirren then. I did not know how long for, but it had been long enough. And now he knew about Miku. No doubt her personality, her weaknesses, along with my own.

'What. Did. You. Do?'

Ezra laughed. 'Can't you guess? You know her better than I do, after all. But I'll let Galaco explain.'

'Nevair was a blight,' Galaco said. 'So, we got rid of it. Or, should I say, she got rid of it. Poor thing thought we were eradicating a demon infestation. Mind you, the fire took out the summoning circle as well, so I don't have to clean up that mess, thankfully.'

'You… you-' I started, but stopped, rage consuming every part of my body as I realised the reasons behind it. My hands were clenched into fists, my body coiled and ready to spring, to lash out and not stop until Galaco and Ezra were dead and bleeding.

Yet I could do nothing.

'It's true.' The voice, small, quiet, and hoarse, came from behind. 'I killed them. I killed them all.'

I turned around. Miku had opened her eyes, and they were glazed, far away. None of the brightness I knew was left.

'Take them away. I'm bored of this.'

Hands grabbed my arms, and I was pulled away.

No! I would not let this happen again! I struggled until I saw the guards take Miku and began to bring her over to where I had come from earlier.

That was it, then. We would stay here and rot.

But I would make sure Miku got that brightness back.

We were brought to the jail, pushed into the same cell I had been taken to. Apparently, we were not considered enough of a threat to be put in separate confinement, so the guards dumped us unceremoniously together, closing the bars behind them with a squeak that echoed across the room.

I was just glad that we were together at last. Now, there was a possibility that I could bring Miku's mood back, maybe not to how it normally was, but I could make her feel better. There was that possibility, was there not?

Miku had huddled on the floor, her back to the wall. Her head was resting against her knees.

'Miku?' I said, quietly. She shivered. 'It's okay now, you are with me. You can talk to me.'

'I killed them,' she repeated. 'Isaia, the little boy… he's gone, they're all gone.'

So, she had known their names. But Miku did not start crying, did not appear to react to her own words. I thought back to the time when I was just a child, when I had killed that person, when I was so hungry nothing seemed to make sense anymore. I had not felt much of anything after the deed had been completed, and now I recognised my own feelings as the ones Miku was feeling now.

Shock.

But it was not the time or place for remembering. Miku needed care now, and I trusted my new instincts and sat beside her, putting my arm around my shoulders.

'It is okay now,' I said again. 'It is okay, you are safe.'

For now. My thoughts came to me, unbidden and unhelpful. They were true, but saying them now would not help matters.

She did not say anything, but leaned ever so slightly into my touch. That was enough, for now. If I could help her, even just a little, then maybe we would come out the other side. We were going to come out of this, no matter what.

It felt like an age, sat there on the stone floor. The cold had numbed my body, and Miku had not moved at all. I would have thought her asleep, but every now and again her breath hitched, or she shivered, and I held her just a little tighter.

The door ground open once more, and I wondered whether it was to be our end.

It was Illaria.

'It is true, then?'

I did not need to ask. 'Yes. They – they-' I could not find the words.

'I did not think they would go this far,' Illaria said quietly. I stared at her. 'I suppose that was too optimistic an outlook, but recently things have been quiet… to my knowledge, anyway. I am not informed of much.' She was a little breathless, and I noticed she was holding her stomach.

'How am I supposed to believe you? That you are not in league with your own husband? Your own daughter?'

'Do you think anyone could agree with Ezra but himself or his spawn?' Illaria said, but the carefully constructed mask over her words was fading. The bitterness was showing through. But that could have been a lie, too.

'You married him. It is not hard to separate, even in a royal marriage.'

'Leave?' Illaria sneered. 'You are not stupid, Luka. Think of the consequences. And I would not survive on my own.'

Ah.

She carried on. 'So, I am calling in that favour.'

'What do you mean? I cannot help you from inside a jail cell, waiting to die.' I said, then regretted my words as I remembered Miku. She did not react, however.

'Which is why,' Illaria said, pulling keys from her pocket, 'I am going to help you escape.'

'Out of here?' I almost laughed. 'With what army? And what do you get out of this?'

'I am coming with you, of course,' Illaria said. 'I know my way around and out of this castle like the back of my hand. I will explain my reasoning, but for now, we must go.' She put the key in the lock and opened the cell door. 'Come, quickly.'

Sooner or later, we were going to die. I would have preferred it to be later, but this was a chance we could not pass up.

'Miku,' I said, gently. 'We have to move.' She nodded, and stood up, slowly, as if underwater. 'Just follow my lead. Take my hand.'

She did so, but her grip was weak. I felt a cold certainty take hold of my mind and body. They would die, all of them, for what they had made happen. One way or another, I would get revenge for Miku. No matter what she said, these people, they deserved what was coming to them.

'The guards,' I said, as we followed Illaria into uncertainty. 'What will we do if they see us?'

'Then I suppose my magic will have to suffice. It is safe to say there is a reason I have not used it much, and I would prefer not to revisit my past demons, but alas, if the time calls for it then I shall deliver.'

'You had better,' I warned. 'And know this. I do not trust you, but I am willing to take this chance.'

'Then understand that this is not something I take lightly. It is for more futures than my own that I do this.'

I nodded, and we continued out into the corridor beyond.

If I had had any of my old resources, I could have gotten us both out of here without Illaria's help. But the state Miku was in… maybe I could not have done it easily. Illaria seemed practised in her quiet, sure footsteps, and I was in a similar position. I knew what to do, and my old habits came back to me fresh as ever. There was little point, as Miku in her armour was loud enough for all three of us, and was sure to attract the attention of the guards.

Soon enough, though the path Illaria was leading us down seemed labyrinthine, we came upon a guard down at the end of a corridor. He saw Illaria and bowed, but we caught his eye while he began to stand straight, and he tensed.

'Those are the prisoners, your Majesty,' he said, walking towards us. 'What are they doing with you? Has his Majesty ordered to see them?'

'He has,' Illaria said, moving closer to him.

'Then where are the other-'

Illaria gripped either side of his head. The guard froze, seemingly unable to move, and his eyes widened in terror.

'I am sorry,' she said, softly, and the guard's eyes rolled back in his head. I waited, and the guard's body began to shake. When Illaria let go, he collapsed to the ground, immediately assuming the fetal position.

Illaria carried on walking, though her steps were more shaky.

'What did you do?' I asked, following with Miku in tow.

'I will explain later,' she said, her voice uneven, a little breathless. 'We do not have time to get into specifics. The passage is not too far ahead, and it shall lead us out of the castle. We will not have much time before Ezra realises we have gone.'

I frowned, but carried on walking. She had much to explain, but I was willing to let it pass if it got Miku and I where we needed to be. Especially if it would free Miku. I so desperately needed to get her back to the group, back to her friends. I was sure Kaito would know what needed to be done.

Illaria warned us when we got to the requisite corridor. It was like all the others, stone, and this one had no windows. She went along, looking at the tapestries hanging on the walls, and stopped between two wholly unremarkable ones after taking a torch off one of the brackets on the walls.

'A secret passage,' I said, under my breath. Illaria nodded. She tapped the wall, and it began to grind open. Once it was fully open, I led Miku inside, and Illaria passed me the torch.

Footsteps.

'Go,' Illaria said. 'I shall deal with these guards, just go before they see you. There is a door at the bottom, and a tunnel that leads out into the wilds beyond Limuria. Head to the stables and wait for me there. If I do not arrive in due time, then go. Leave without me.'

I did not need to be told twice, and I guided Miku down the steps. She followed dutifully, and I wondered if she was just letting her body take over while she stewed away in her subconscious. The wall closed up behind us, and all sound was gone by the time we reached the bottom of the stairs.

Having to let go of Miku's hand to open the door felt like something inside me was breaking, as her arm dropped back to her side almost uselessly.

'I am going to fix this,' I assured her, as well as assuring myself. 'And they are going to pay.'

I led her out into the tunnel beyond, and we began to find our way forwards.

Even though I had a fear of Ezra waiting at the other side, when we came out of the tunnel, all I could see ahead was the landscape of Azer. Illaria had told us the truth, then. I had some idea of her reasons for helping us, but I would not confirm it unless she said it herself.

The stables were not a far walk, and the lights were off. Morning was coming, and I realised that it had not been so long since this had all transpired. But I could not joke with Miku, I could not say that I had been wrong about the time of our stay. I had a feeling she would break out of her shock, but not in the way that I wanted her to.

We sat, and I watched as she curled up once more, much in the same way Lapis did. I put my arm around her, and waited until Illaria arrived.

After what seemed like forever, and just as I was about to give up, she arrived, flowing dress stained with dust and debris from the tunnel.

'I am sure no one will mind if I take a horse,' she said. 'These are desperate times, after all. There are more of you, yes?'

'There are,' I said, rising to my feet, and helping Miku up. 'We should collect them and make our way forwards. You can explain yourself then.'

Illaria nodded.

'Miku,' I said, trying to alert her. She looked at me, finally, but her gaze was still distant. 'I need you to help us get back to Lapis. Back to Kaito, and Sonika. They can help you.'

Finally, she shook her head. 'Nobody. Nobody can help me after what I've done.' She looked at Illaria. 'But I can get us back, if that's what you want.'

I felt my heart break, but I smiled at her. 'It is. I promise, Miku, we will get through this. No matter what.'

She didn't say anything as she climbed on the horse, and not even as she helped me up.

I could not cry, not yet.

AN: Illaria and Ezra are gaining more screen time than I originally thought. I should have made them Vocaloids! No matter.