AN: When I started this, I had no idea of it going beyond Neverland. Now we're on the cusp of Season 4. (Not to worry, there's another chapter or five left in season 3. Maybe more.) I hope this helps tide you over until March. As always, I own nothing, bold words are from the show, italics are thoughts, and...review maybe? Enjoy!

Are We Devils or Black Sheep or Really Bad Eggs?

Chapter 37

Brooding the whole time, Killian made his way to the Jolly Roger. Stepping on board for the first time in months lifted his spirits somewhat and he managed to stop Smee from killing a rat. Fate is a funny thing, indeed.

"Captain. I wasn't expecting you back from the tavern so early." Smee said. "Vermin. I'll get the bugger, sir."

Again, Killian stopped the man. "Let it be. You'll understand someday, Smee."

"Is that a new vest?" Smee asked.

"Of course not." Killian bit back, trying to get the Captain Hook persona back in place. Of course Smee would notice my vest. And now the bloody observant little man is asking me if I feel fine. Come on, Jones, think like Hook.

"Maybe, that's because I'm used to my first mate asking me what his captain needs when he's on deck." Killian said, evenly but dangerously.

The first mate snapped to attention. "Of course. Sorry. Is there anything I can do for you, sir?"

Killian explained what he needed and, like the loyal man he was, Smee set about doing it immediately. Now that he had other things on his mind besides revenge, Killian finally realized the value of the man. Smee was observant, loyal, and helpful, though not always the brightest person. He headed down to the cabin, secure in the knowledge that Smee would get Snow on board.

Hello old friend. He thought as he made he way through the ship. It's good to see you again.

Killian knew he'd done the right thing in trading her, but this was the ship that housed Bae for a time. It's where Liam had drawn his last breath. Where Milah had died. It'd been home for two hundred years. Right choice or not, his decision didn't make the sacrifice hurt any less.

"If I never see you again, darling, you were wonderful." He whispered to the ship and then got into place. It was vital that Snow White not see his face. The hook, if she caught a glimpse of it, was fine. He was known, yes, but a pampered princess and runaway was not likely to know her pirates, especially given her stance both in the tavern and at the docks. They betrayed her lack of comfort in those locations. Thief, yes, but Snow White wasn't truly a criminal in the strictest sense of the word, so it seemed right that she was very naive about the seedy underworld of the realm.

Killian's musings were interrupted by the woman herself climbing down. Show time. He thought, and started in on his speech.

The whole thing went smoothly. Snow White took the job and was out of there with very little fuss. Killian put the cabin back in order, knowing himself, he would notice if things were suddenly in the wrong places and might not think it was the rum. He turned after straightening the last thing to see Emma climbing down.

Her eyes went wide when she saw him. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you." Killian retorted. "I thought I told you to keep him occupied."

"I am." Emma answered.

"By taking him back to my ship?" He demanded.

She immediately corrected him. "His ship."

"You know what I mean."

"I stalled as long as I could. I thought you'd be gone by now." Emma explained. "I'll try to keep him above deck so you can get out of here."

But that was not in the cards. Killian heard the door opened and dove for cover. Emma turned to greet his past self.

"Where may you be going?" Hook asked, and Killian could tell his past self was very drunk. "I do hope you're not having second thoughts."

"No. I just got tired of waiting." Emma grabbed his lapels and kissed him, letting out a little giggle as she turned them around.

Only the fact that Emma was clearly playing a part and not totally into the kiss kept Killian moving towards the door.

"Apologies." Hook rubbed her shoulder. "A woman as beautiful as you deserves my full and prompt attention."

Killian watched as his past self moved Emma towards the table. That's it. I'm stopping this nonsense. Killian grabbed his past self's shoulder and turned him around, slugging him and knocking him out.

"Are you kidding me? How's that not gonna have consequences?" Emma demanded.

"He was asking for it. And like I said he'll blame the rum. Let's get out of here." Killian kept his voice even, trying to calm the fury he was feeling towards himself. Like Regina, he hadn't thought about how much he'd changed until he saw his past self in action. He was still angry as they climbed out of the cabin. hating that Emma had seen him like that.

"You know, you were right." Emma said after a while of walking in silence. They were making their way to Midas's castle, which was fortunately quite close to the harbor.

"About what?" Killian asked, finally having gained control of his tumultuous emotions.

"That man wasn't really you." She shrugged. "It was, you know, all the eyebrow raising and innuendoes. But it didn't feel like I was talking to you."

"Well, that's who I was." He shrugged. "I hope it is no longer who I am."

"Yeah. I still don't think you needed to hit him that hard."

"Oh, I did. Trust me, Swan, he deserved that. Remember, I was him, I know what he was thinking." Killian smiled. "This is by far one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me."

"Which is saying a lot because, aren't you like, ancient?"

"Two centuries does not make one ancient, Swan." He shook his head, glad they were back to teasing one another. Killian wanted to bring up a lot of things right now, like her moving to New York or this…thing they had between them, but he hesitated. Killian refused to believe it was one-sided. Not after the way Swan had acted this whole trip and even before, in Storybrooke. The past or not, whether she liked him or not, this was still Emma and that required patience and time and knowing when to push and when not to. Now was not the time to push.

"I can't blame you. Punching yourself in the face…that has got to be weird." Emma shook her head, and bit her lip to keep in her laughter.

"Go ahead and laugh, Swan." Killian chuckled. "It is pretty amusing."

Emma let out a giggle and soon they were both laughing. The whole situation was frankly, ludicrous, so the only solution was to have a good laugh.

"Well, I'll finally have a story to top Robin." Killian said after they'd calmed down.

"Oh?"

"Swan, part of the whole men-in-a-tavern scene is one-upping each other with stories. Particularly exaggerated examples of our prowess or power or the strange things that happen to us. In Storybrooke, we have no shortage of strange, but I do believe knocking out my past self in order to repair a mistake in the timeline has got to take the cake. I mean, the men turned into monkeys can't even beat that one." He explained.

"You and Robin are, what, mates?" She imitated his accent terribly.

Killian rolled his eyes. "You've got to stop trying to copy me accent Swan, you're terrible at it. And are you really surprised that the pirate and the thief are friends?"

"No, I guess not." Emma shook her head as they made their way through the forest.

Killian realized they had reached their destination. "Ah, here we go." He sat down on a log in front of the lake and patted it. "We should be able to see some of what's happening from right here."

Emma sat down next to him and put her head in her hands, looking across the water to Midas's castle. "Can we get a closer look?"

"Perhaps a bit closer." He said, remembering the spyglass in his coat. He pulled it out and looked through it. "A predictable access of pomp and grandeur. Snow should have no trouble sneaking inside."

"What about us? We're supposed to just sit here and hope that she pulls it off?" Emma asked. "I don't like leaving things to chance."

"You know, I feel exactly the same way, which is why I never do." A voice to the left of them startled them both and had them both standing and looking over to see Rumplestiltskin. He produced a piece of paper magically. "See? An invitation to the ball."

"So, you'll be inside to watch out for her?" Emma asked.

"No. No. I'll be far too busy sorting out how to get you home." The Dark One replied.

Bloody unhelpful imp. Killian thought. "Well, who's the invitation for?"

"Well, isn't it obvious?" Rumplestiltskin asked.

Clearly not if we can't figure it out. Surely you don't mean…but then the Dark One pointed at them. "The two of you." He said.

Let's make sure you can get us home, Crocodile. "So, when we're done inside, you can open our portal?" Killian asked.

Rumplestiltskin explained his plan with a wand that he "came to posses" which Killian knew meant stole or forced or murdered for. But whatever he'd done to get it was already done, and it would get them home. With that settled, Rumplestiltskin handed the invitation to Killian.

"Please do it quickly. We'll be in and out before you know it. I want to get the hell out of here." Emma said, and Killian heartily agreed. Having lived through the past once, he really would rather not be stuck in it.

"Uh, confidence. I like it." The Dark One said, but stopped them when they turned to leave. "Wait. Not like that."

Then he did that damned annoying giggle again and Killian felt himself enveloped in red smoke. When it dissipated, Killian noticed he was wearing a very nice coat and his hook was gone, replaced with a fake hand.

"The savior can't come this far and not play princess for a day." The imp giggled again.

Killian looked over at Emma, who looked stunning. Red was certainly her color, and that dress…he tried to remain focused on the problem at hand but he gave her a good look and decided that the Enchanted Forest style suited her very well.

"But, I'm not supposed to stick out. What if someone remembers me in the future?" Emma asked, concerned.

Rumplestiltskin gave her a look. "Because what you had before was such an intricate disguise? Now, speaking of which I've returned those stole rags. Luckily, before they were missed." He continued, "I mean, it's a miracle the timeline hasn't imploded already. Amateurs. Allow me."

The Dark One magically produced a mirror and showed the two that more than their clothes had been changed. It was like looking at two strangers wearing the same clothes as them.

"A glamour spell. This is how you shall appear to one and all." Rumplestiltskin explained. "Now, run along and do everything you can to make sure Snow White gets that ring. Once they're back on track, everything else will be, too."

With that, the Dark One vanished.

"Shall we, Swan?" Killian held out his arm and she laced her hand through it.