ZAFT of the radiance: Road trip

A legendary martial arts master... Renowned by all for his feats of sheer badassery... So awesome that he can beat Butterfly Aizen with using a pair of chopsticks. He heroically fell in battle in the defense of Sega... Long forgotten by the world he now lives in the planet Gamindustri... He is... Segata Sanshiro!

Segata Sanshiro returns

We come to find Segata Sanshiro wondering around the ports of Leanbox wondering what to do next. "Now what? I suppose I should find this Papa Smurf guy and ask him where is Sat being hidden." At that time he notices two young girls walking around the docks. One with a purple sailor uniform and long purple hair, and one in black with drill hair of sorts carrying a large gun on her back. Segata thought "Its the CPU candidates. The purple one is Nepgear, Lady Purple heart's sister. And the black one is Uni, Lady Black heart's sister as well. What are they doing here?" As Segata goes to investigate he gets ambushed by

Brave the hard who jumps from the rooftops sword in hand only to be blocked by Segata using a bare handed blade block. Annoyed Segata throws Brave into a pile of craters and asks. "What is your problem fucktard?" Brave stands up holding his sword forward with his bladed aimed at Segata's chest yelling out "Because you are my eternal nemesis, Segata Sanshiro! It, is, DESTINY!" And charges forward with his blade held upwards diagonally readying a massive swing. Segata calmly braces himself and says "Segata Sanshiro, SNK rape mode activate! Code, Geese Howard!" And with those words the area is flooded by a grand battle aura which blinds Brave for a moment before swinging it away with his sword and smirking... somehow since he has no mouth... "Nice job my worthy adversary. But do not be complacent, for I also have such powers. Brave the Hard. SNK Rape mode activated! Code, Regal Brunsteid!" And another explosive aura floods the area with Brave now obtaining a black and red color scheme. "I am power made flesh... er... steel... Ugh, dammit! Lets just go."

Season 2 Chapter 11: The girl globetrotters

Written by Aliastheabnormal

Before we go to our main story we quickly head to the site where Castlevania was temporarily located in what is now an eerie forest, at night obviously. Let's watch as (massive explosion nearby behind some trees) The fuck?! As flames consume the nearby area as several shadows appear behind a woman with short red hair, a black gi with giant beads around her chest who gets up and opens a pair of black eyes with golden irises. "When there's no more room in hell... Lumanaria Hawke will walk the earth..."

We find ourselves in the Italian diner The cement shoes. Where Lalah Sune, and Stellar Loussier are eating breakfast in a window seat. Lalah spaces out for a second when Stellar tries to get her attention. "Onee-san! Onee-san! Are you alright?" Stellar asked repeatedly until Lalah snapped out of it mentioning "I feel a disturbance in the force. Like millions of guys just shit their pants in fear simultaneously." "Hey, Lalah onee-chan, there is a freaky llama thing over there. The large bipedal llama thing heads to the two girls and comments "I am not a freaky llama thing! I am Tsukishimaalpaca!" Stellar retorts by petting Tsukishimaalpaca and mentioning "So very soft..." And starts hugging him while rubbing her face on his fur with great happiness. "HAU! OMOCHIKAERII!" At that time small angel and devil like versions of Rika Furude and Rena Ryugu appear metaphysically with Rena commenting "Damn! She stole MY catchphrase Rika! Oyashiro-sama, please murder this bitch!" And begins stomping her feet while Rika ignores her and looks at Tsukishimaalpaca quietly muttering "I want some gyozo..." with some drool in her mouth.

As the duo and an annoyed Tsukishimaalpaca exit Stellar comments to Lalah. "So we finally found Shinn-kun and the others?" "Yes, they are heading to the Chrysler building in 42nd street." Tsukishimaalpaca intersects with "You girls are going to the Chrysler building paca? Maybe I can help you girls paca ! And could you get this girl off me paca? (Points to Stellar still hugging alpaca) I'm starting to get a cramp alpaca..." At that time Char Aznable appears alongside Quess and Gyunei holding a map. Quess annoyed complains to Gyunei "Gyunei! Are we there yet?!" Gyunei sighs dejectedly and answers "No Quess, we still have to go around three more streets." "This isn't fair Gyunei! Why do we have to do this?" "Like it or not Quess we have little choice. I don't know the details. But, Lacus Clyne has changed." "Isn't the story that she got dumped

and went nuts?" "No, something else is up." "The Captain is being very quiet Gyunei." As the duo check for Char they find his worried and scared, facing off against Lalah Sune who is rather angry and wielding a large meat cleaver at Char, Alpaca trying to break up the fight, and Stellar still rubbing her face in Alpaca's fur. Char tells Lalah "Ummm... Err... I don't suppose you're still mad about that, are you?"

Alpaca asks "What is "that?"

"I can't believe we are explaining a plot point from around two years ago." Kyubey mentioned to Alias and GlaDOS. "Indeed, it is hard to believe how much the story has changed since those early days."

Alias answers back while clasping his hands.

Anyway, we flashback to the aftermath of the Char games. Char and Lalah are hiding alongside the rubble with Char not taking the nuclear explosion well him burnt considerably and his Angora cat Little Char glowing green due to the radiation somehow ranting angrily "How dare they do this to me!" Pulling out an iPad Char checks his assets only to find out that he is broke and has obtained several creditor alerts and even more death threats. "Oh well, It doesn't matter! For soon I will have a new plan in place to... Well crap, what do I do now? Lalah, I don't suppose you have any ideas? Lalah? Where did she go?"

Back in the current time Lalah finishes her flashback with "And after that I took off and opened a bookstore to stalk Kir-eer... (worried) Crime! That's it crime! Yeah! I am the goddamn Batman!" Stellar mentions to Lalah "Char ran away." And Lalah begins chasing after Char." Quess worriedly tugs on Gyunei and asks "What do we do Gyunei?" "For now you should go complete the mission after all you are the techie of the group. I'll see if I can get the captain out of this mess." As the duo go their own ways Stellar is left alone with Tsukishimalpaca commenting "I wonder what happened to the cat?"

At that time in pink castle we find Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanami, Asuka Lahgley Soryu, and Kaworu Nagisa eating Little Char in the form of Mongolian kebabs. Asuka after eating another kebab comments with her mouth full "I hate to admit it Shinji but your cat dishes are out of this world." Shinji responds with a shy chuckle and saying "Yeah, and since we are involved in organized crime we can even drink all the cokes and nobody can do anything about it!" Kaworu chuckles and adds "Yeah, fuck Bloomberg!"

Back at the plot Stellar is still following Tsukishimaalpaca trying to hug him again. "Can I hug alpaca-san?" "No" "Can I hug alpaca-san?" "No!" "Can I hug alpaca-san?" "NO!" "Can I hug alpaca-san?" Five minutes of exasperated screaming later... "Alpaca-san..." We find Stellar glomping Tsukishimaalpaca and not letting go, much to the oddness of the people watching, and the embarrassment of said alpaca monster. "Why do I have go thru this? By now I should have gotten to the meeting spot. Oh there it is!" Alpaca heads to the drownball tournament in Yankee Stadium, which is now in its semi finals with J.R and Jerry "The king" Lawyer doing commentary. Still zombified by the way, even if the Edo Tensei was lifted in the Naruto manga. "Well King it looks like this match is over and done with! And the newcomer Graham Aker sweeps beautifully once more!" "Braaaaaiiiinsss..." "You're right Jerry! From out of nowhere Graham Aker has managed to take drownball by storm! Rising triumphantly over many legends, to the point that he is the favorite to face the drownball champion Fighter at the finales tomorrow." "Brrraiiiiinsss..." "Jerry stop chewing on my zombie arm! Leggo dammit!" Back at the stands Tsukishimalpaca is meeting with his associates, Full Frontal,

Angelo Sauper and Kergenko, Also known as the Cassidy and Butch to Neo Zeon's Jessie and James, Pre-Best Wishes/Pokemon Chronicles airings. Alpaca meets the trio with Angelo commenting

"Yeah check it out boss! Just look at that fine ass! And the girl is pretty hot too!" Full Frontal smiles and shakes Alpaca's hand while Nerenko chides angrily at Angelo's comments which Stellar notices. "Ah, Tsukishimalpaca! You are here at last. So, is everything ready on your end?" "Yes paca it is all done. According to 4kids intelligence a large delegation of fansubbers are meeting in the Chrysler building. We got info that Lacus Clyne is sending people to the expo that is also being hosted on the lower floors and has sent a third party to obtain it paca." Full Frontal asks Alpaca "The EVA pilots?" "Less competent, alpaca"

The Sirocco people?" "More competent, paca."

Meanwhile in another abandoned warehouse next to the one where Madoka led Homura. We find Paptimus Scirocco sneezing. Sarah Zabiranov puts down her can of beans and with concern asks Paptimus

"Master are you sick?" Reccoa walks in and comments "I guess somebody is talking about Scirocco." "Nobody asked you bitch!" yelled Sarah in defense of her master.

Meanwhile we go back to Lalah who is still in pursuit of Char and Gyunei. Char and Gyunei manage to give her the slip for the moment and annoyed Gyunei mutters "We cannot keep this up! We have to kill her,

and now!" Char "Good idea Gyunei! Here is the plan! First we..." "Hell no Captain! This time we are keeping it simple!" Gyunei then pulls out a Beretta with a look of sadistic glee that unnerves even the Red comet for a few good moments while Gyunei giggles and whispers to the gun "Hello dear, I missed you. Did you miss me? Let's go Vera, daddy needs you to kill some bitches." And thus Gyunei goes off on his quest for blood. As for Char Aznable? Well... "I'm so fucked right now..."

And so we begin Gyunei's futile attempts at murder "Hey Alias, watch your mouth!" "Sorry dude, I'm just saying it like it is." "SHUT UP FART KNOCKER!" And Gyunei shoots, kills someone completely unrelated about a mile away and falls off his porch and flat on his ass into a dumpster. "Why does this smell like masturbating lesbian?"

About an hour later Char finds Gyunei still in the dumpster and pulls him out by the legs. "Hey Gyunei, so there you were." Gyunei looks at a hideously maimed Char and happily yells "Captain!" And immediately sours up and says. "What happened to you? You look horrible." "Basically I've been running from Lalah for an hour now." "She did this to YOU captain?!" "Actually, I fell down a ditch and smacked face first into the ground below. At least it helped me get away from her though." Suddenly an explosion burst thru behind the duo as a purple and brown flash fly past the alley way. Several other blasts are seen and heard all around, sirens klaxon and the people start screaming as mobile suits, monsters and army corps start pouring out into the streets while the panicked masses push each other into the ground. Char and Gyunei then freak out as a giant centaur like tentacled spider monster towers above the streets. Pale yellow in coloring with black stripes lashing its limbs into walls, and firing hardened webbing with such speed and force that they might as well be bullets across the street.

The purple flash is a tall girl with purple hair in a hime cut and a sailor's uniform carrying a scythe with her right arm, rather droopy listless eyes and a visible bleeding wound on her waist covered by her hand. Annoyed, she clutched her scythe and muttered "This is not what I signed on for when that pink haired Madoka girl came along." Lalah shocked commented "When you say pink hair, do you mean, that Kaname girl?" "Yeah, did she set you up for this shit as well?" "Wait, what?" As the duo dodge the attacks the girl pulls out a large silver scythe with a blue blade and kong blue chain at the bottom and muttering softly. "Go... Sougaiden... And upon those words the scythe begins to howls and with one swing, wastes the hell out of that thing, to a dumbfounded Char and Gyunei whom commented "Is that Bankai?" With Char responding "I believe that is more of a Shikai but besides the point. Did you see that?! With that kind of power we wouldn't need to fear Lacus, Lalah,or anyone else. C'mon, we gotta get back to Quess and tell her about this." As Char sneaks off with a smile Gyunei contemplates "I wonder if the reason Char is into little girls is because he is intimidated by women?"

Back at the fight, where things have calmed down somewhat in another back street Lalah and the girl are talking about their situation with the girl introducing herself as "The name is Rika Furude." Lalah surprised at the name comments "How can that be? I mean..." "I guess I should explain." At that time another girl yelled out "Wait! Rika! Don't start the exposition without me-wa!" And runs towards the duo somewhat exhausted and unsteady. The girl a short haired blond about the same age as Rika although taller and with a black headband. Her green fuku seems to be rather sooty with gunpowder and dust and she seems to have some grime in her face. "I am Satoko Hojo-wa!" "Rena Ryugu is here!" At that time to the shock of everyone a third oddly cheerful girl this one in a white fuku and purple bow, a white cap and short orange hair with blue eyes suddenly pops up behind everyone with a cleaver behind her back. "Its called a nata!" Rena comments with a quickly angering look in her face. Lalah confused asked what is going on? And you look a bit older

than in the anime." Rika answers in a very annoyed tone "Well if there are no more interruptions I can explain everything."

"It all started around six years ago in Massachusetts. Some kid opened a portal to a demon realm and sent demons to attack a prom. But someone else used the demons power to seal them away, this caused a distortion in the multiversal ether. Normally the whole thing would have been corrected by the author. But everyone got wasted, passed out and forgot all about it. Anyways, this whole thing kept building up until the time when Aliastheabnormal took over from the previous author around two years ago or so back in season 1 were there was a moment of weakness where the distortions energy erupted. This caused several problems that have spilled out thought the dimensional space, especially thru the lanes in-between causing an important place to vanish. Namely, the sea of discarded concepts, where discarded concepts lie and the barrier between the former continuities lie."

Lalah rather amazed at Rika's explanation comments. "I heard of that stuff, but I can't believe it could actually be erased like that." Rena adds "That's why we look slightly older than in Higurashi but still much younger than we should really be. These forms are created by the instabilities caused by the lack of the sea to stabilize the void." Satoko suddenly blurted out at that moment "Yup! Shinn Asuka sure screwed the pooch

on that one-wa!" "SHINN!" "You known him coffee lady-wa?" Rena smacks Satoko in the head in annoyance and reprimands her with. "Her name is Lalah Sune. You sound like a racist when you make those comments. What are you doing Rena?" "I think Coffee lady just went catatonic." And the trio look at Lalah frozen and unresponsive in shock with Rika in a deadpan tone commenting

"Screw this, I'm gonna go get wasted. I think I saw a sushi bar that serves sake a few blocks back, see ya."

Back at Tsukishimalpaca and Stellar we find the duo around the Chrysler's crowds with Stellar and Kergenko apparently lighting a barrel on fire and doing a weird ass dance with alpaca looking on in confusion.

"What the hell are you doing now?" Kergenko answers with "We are praying for success to Firo the fire god of the fire. I'm surprised that someone else actually is familiar with my faith's customs." Stellar comments eagerly "Shinn-kun is the one who does this seriously, he always did this back at the orphanage." "Shinn-kun?" Kergenko asks oddly and curiously to which Stellar smiles and cheerfully replies "Shinn Asuka-kun!

He is like my Onii-chan! We met years ago and he has always been there for me! Watashi wa daisuki Shinn-kun!" "Shinn Asuka?! The apocalypse bringer?!" Stellar rather shocked and offended defends Shinn.

Bluntly yelling out "Shinn may be insane, but he is a good guy at heart!" Kergenko shocked stutters and quickly blurts out an apology "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it that way! What I am saying is that according to a

forum buddies of mine that he is some kind of anomaly that made a botched pact with Firo which is causing some cataclysm." Stellar looks at Kergenko and then asks "Where did everyone else go?"

When the two search around to find themselves abandoned by the rest of their group when explosions rock nearby buildings causing Kergenko to comment "Crap! The fighting has gotten to here already!"

At that time people start rushing outside and panicking when the duo are found by Fran Nara who yells at them. "What are you doing? Don't you know we are being attacked here?

Even if this is New York you people should get to safety!" Kergenko comments to Stellar "She's right, we'll meet up with everyone later." And grabs Stellar in order to leave but she doesn't move and sadly looks at the floor mentioning "Kergenko chan... I can't... I have to find Shinn-kun. He is in this city somewhere, and I know he is in trouble." Kergenko smiles and says "Fine, let's go look for him." And run off into the direction of the Chrysler building.

Back with Fran she is wandering around the perimeter looking for Zeheart Galette with a concerned and annoyed look. "Where are you Zeheart? (sigh) Its been this way since the academy days." When she hears a window break nearby and a massive thud. She rushes to find a splattered pile of orange goop and Zeheart looking at it while wearing a fish skeleton on top of his head. Fran angrily reprimanded Zeheart with

"Where were you?! Everything is going to fuck and you are poking at... What is this anyway?" After putting his finger in the half melted pile of orange crap, twiddling it around and finally tasting it. Much to the squick of Fran, Zeheart comments "This is LCL, and it really does taste like Tang." "That's disgusting Zeheart." And then Fran kneels down and tastes the goop "This really does taste like Tang!" And starts licking more.

"Be careful Fran, I hear consuming LCL drives people nuts and..." "What are you talking about fuckwad?! And what's with that fish anyway?" "Oh! I found this fish skeleton in the trash! I call him Boney!"

Zeheart replied with closed eyes only to see a rather aggressive looking Fran with a psycho smile and the LCL all gone. "Fran... Did you drink it all?" "Oh yes Master Zeheart, it was amazing.

You know, it may be the LCL talking, but you look pretty cute." Zeheart rather worried stumbles and falls flat on his back muttering worriedly "Now... Now... Fran stop this right now." "Fran only follows three orders.

Sit, stay, and rape!" And as she tries to grab Zeheart is smashed unconscious by an also unconscious Erio Mondal, breaking his fall. "Thank you Deus ex Machina! Oh wait... shit! Ambulance!"

As for Full Frontal and company? Eventually Kergenko and Stellar catch up with Full Frontal and his group who have knocked out the nearby guards. Kergenko leaves Stellar in the nearby hallways commenting "Okay Stellar, you better stay back in the hallway. Once were done here well go looking for Shinn." Stellar nods with a smile as Kergenko goes with the others. At that time Stellar stumbles into five tall men with long red hair and identical faces in ESF uniforms. They were likely Innovades since they all also had golden eyes with a slight glow to them, with an air of mysticism surrounding their presence. Stellar looked on curiously when they all in monotonous unison said out loud. "Ignore us we are merely security guards. There is nothing strange about us." Stellar after some curious doubts shrugged it off and went back to waiting by sitting on a bench and falling asleep while the guards moved in to ambush

At that time Angelo kicks down the door where the representatives were meeting. Among them Fezarl Ezelcant the leader of Vegan, Euphemia Britannia the 100th Empress of the Britannian empire,

and Carim Garcia a high ranking knight in the Saint Kaiser church and admiral in the TSAB. And several MP readying their blasters to which Angelo smiles as his shadows grows and rises from the floor.

"I'm gonna leave you limp and worn with my hand jobs, come... Rozen Zulu!" And purple flames erupt from the shadow revealing a heeled purple mobile suit with large clawed arms, a large shield, much bulk and the classic Zeon glowing mono-eye. "Terrorists! Terrorists!" The guards yell out as they empty their machine guns on the eight foot tall Rozen Zulu guardian which slowly and unflinchingly walks towards the guards grabs the nearest one grabs him by the head which it then proceeds to crush like a grape, tossing the bloodied corpse into the air and blasting it into ashes with the beam cannons in its hands. And with an eerie eye flash launches its INCOM arms while flash stepping and firing its beams killing all the guards in mere moments in a very gory fashion. "Yeah you like the taste of my beat stick?

Cuz I just blew my hot loads all inside you bitches! Euphemia groans in annoyance and snarks out. "Are you done?" Before headshotting Angelo with a revolver landing him on the floor and causing the Rozen Zulu to vanish. "Going down after getting blown once... Typical man." Meanwhile Carim just looks on asking Euphiemia "Was all that sexual innuendo?" Euphemia after a moment of silence comments "You church people really are innocent aren't you?" Suddenly Angelo gets up and shrugs off the entire incident commenting "Well that was a quick shot." Euphemia in shock yelled out "What the fuck?! W-w-what gives?!

I shot you in between the fucking eyes!" And then Full Frontal makes his debut telling Angelo "As much as I hate showing up without an introduction, I'm afraid you are all coming with me." As more security surrounds the outside of the door Full Frontal smiles and then Ezelcant calmly gets up and looks Full Frontal in the eyes saying. "I don't know who you are, BOY. But I do not take kindly to your bullshit you good for nothing whippersnapper. So leave before I rip your head off from your spine, tear off its skin and meat, carve it hollow, and use it to drink martinis, GOT IT?" Full Frontal smiles, gets in Ezelcant's face and boasts "Or what?" Kergenko then tries to intervene and diffuse the situation with "You know, this is starting to go too far, why don't we all calm down and..." Only to get side kicked in the chest Into the ground by Angelo who yells out

"Who are you to tell my master what to do! He is the dominant one in the relationship!" And then Ezelcant punches Angelo in the face making his head spin 360 degrees five times only to stagger a bit and laugh.

"Ha! You ain't got shit! I am a powerful robot after all! Balls of steel and everything, ya' know? And YOU are an brittle impotent prick." Ezelcant smiles and says "Thanks for the info,

but you forgot a cardinal rule of Shonen fighting anime. Explaining your powers leads to getting your ass kicked if you are a villain." And with a worried look Angelo gets decked in the chin

for his lack of genre savviness and flung backwards only for Ezelcant to flash step in the way and catch Angelo with one hand, slam him into the ground so hard the room shook,and tossed him upwards only to give him a straight kick on the way down catapulting him straight off past Euphemia and Carim and fly off the windows into the street below. Tsukishimaalpaca is visibly scared while Full frontal smugly shrugs it off commenting "Well, good riddance." Kergenko shocked says "What are you talking about sir?! Angelo was your loyal subordinate, your friend." Frontal harrumphs and answers with a cruel and mocking tone.

"So what? He is a failure if he can't beat this old geezer!" "You're horrible sir..." Kergenko comments while barely holding back her tears and collapsing on her knees. "Unforgivable!" Ezelcant yells out in outrage.

Full Frontal snickers and mockingly jokes "You do know that doesn't work as well in the English translations" And proceeds to get his ass owned and thrown off the window.

Meanwhile in the ground floor where most of the panic has passed we find Nina Einstein who "survived" her mauling. Shuffling outside and leaning on a wall. "Alive! I am alive!" Nina yells out in an increasingly manic tone and increasingly scary face. "I am ALIVE! Do you hear me God! This is the proof of my love of Euphemia-sama! (insane laugh) Yes, that's right! I am here God! And I will not die! I will not die! I am Shiva! Destroyer of worlds! I AM GOD!" And then her face turns to fear as she seas Full Frontal land on top her. Somehow she survives dizzily muttering. "I am god... Euphemia-sama... Behold... God..."

And falls unconscious.

Meanwhile back at the building. Carim and Euphie look at the carnage below with Euphiemia rubbing her chin. "Wow, are they alright?" Carim asked with concern to which Euphie answer in a deadpan tone "Unfortunately, yes. Especially if this dreadful feeling pans out." Carim gestures curiously towards Euphemia whom responds "That creepy Nina girl... (shudders)" Carim asks "What's so creepy about her?"

"She masturbated with a table." After hearing Euphemia's response Carim basically is silenced in shock for a good while and sits down while leaning her head in the desk face down.

And covering her arms on top of her head.

During that Kergenko escapes distraught to the elevators trying to avoid only to see a strewn pile of bodies chopped into pieces among them the ones with the ESF uniforms, and sees a girl with long blue hair, a gothic lolita dress, and a cat tail with a blue bow. Holding a long black schyte with a blood red blade and long chain at the bottom commenting "These fools really cause a mess. And they delayed me as well after all, since you are here, it must mean, Full Frontal got his ass handed to him by the old man already. Must have been... (evil chuckle) amusing..." An angry Kergenko yells out "YOU BITCH!" And rushes at her with murder on her mind. Only to be caught in a loop. Constantly running, but not moving anywhere. And then the girl chuckles and says "The name is Bernkastel. Go... Shuurajou... And then the scythe begins to scream in a blood curdling manner,terrifying Kergenko and with one slash splits apart Kergenko but then the body is frozen, and somehow Kergenko is alive. While Berkanstel reveals her face, a copy of Rika Fuurude's only with soulless blue eyes without a glim of emotion or soul behind them. "If you ever see a girl named Rika Fuurude, let me know." And with those words she disappears into thin air, leaving Kergenko standing intact

with all the blood and bodies gone without a trace. Kergenko is left stunned and scared stiff wondering what the hell has she gotten into.

To be continued...