A/N: The dream in this chapter could almost be another weird one-shot. I enjoyed writing it. I wrote the dream in one go, just letting it do what it wanted, and afterwards I realized part of it reminded me of a scene from the movie The Hunger...sort of. :)
This chapter might make some people hear trumpet fanfares...;)
37: Seize the Moment
Hermione was aware that she was entering a very deep sleep, as she shut her eyes. Her body felt a little strange and she knew that it must be the potion already working to heal her internally. The sensation was like she could feel every one of her veins and arteries having a hot liquid passed through them, much warmer than blood. It wasn't unpleasant, just strange. Experiencing a slightly sluggish feeling she assumed she wouldn't dream, but then remembered never to assume anything when it came to what happened after she closed her eyes...zzzzzzz
It became apparent to Hermione that she was walking along a path, with trees and hedges either side. Her footsteps were incredibly slow and heavy. It seems I'm groggy in my dream too, then? she considered as she dreamed.
For a moment she thought she was heading to Gaunt's shack again, and she really didn't want to go there. In both the waking and sleeping worlds that place had brought her nothing but trouble and misery. As she continued to walk, she realized that it wasn't the path to the shack, but was still vaguely familiar to her.
It was either dusk or dawn, going by the dullness around her, and moody lighting, and still she carried on walking. Up ahead she saw some iron gates and it was then she knew where she was, and the recognition of the place didn't make her feel any better; it looked like Malfoy Manor. Why am I here? she thought tiredly.
Expecting difficulty at the gates she was surprised when she opened them and walked straight through. Hermione's dream-self continued her heavy, almost comically slow steps, making the real Hermione feel like she was walking with diver's boots on.
The Manor looked just as dark and mysterious as the time when Harry, Ron and herself were brought there. She went to the main door and again opened it with no problem and walked in.
Hermione headed down the ominous hallway and soon found herself in the room she remembered that Bellatrix had tortured her in. Looking around, she couldn't see anyone else in there with her, despite a healthy fire crackling in the hearth. What is the point of this? she thought, wondering why she was dreaming it all.
"The mudblood's come back to play, has she?" said a familiar voice, making Hermione jump.
Bellatrix Lestrange stood up from a chair that had been facing the fire. Hermione immediately tried to reach for her wand, but her pockets were empty, as were her sleeves.
"You won't need a wand, deary!" laughed Bellatrix, as she almost skipped a couple of steps to stand in front of Hermione. "I'm the only one that needs a wand here."
Bloody marvellous! thought Hermione sarcastically. She's going to torture me and do what she likes with me. Perhaps that potion is to blame. Whatever the reason, Hermione felt angry and impatient and it seemed to filter through to her dream-self. "Fine!" she said loudly. "Just get on with it."
Bellatrix put her head on one side, looking Hermione up and down as if she were a new strange creature that needed indentification. "That's no fun, if you know what's coming," said the deranged woman, with a pout.
"Of course I know what's coming!" snapped Hermione, startling her real self, proud at her confidence in such circumstances. "You're Bellatrix. Everyone knows what you like doing...people will write books about it I don't doubt."
"Books are worthless," said the Lestrange woman who was now fiddling with the wand in her hands.
"A bit like you, then," said Hermione, knowing that she was pushing her luck.
"Oooo hark at you!" exclaimed an amused Bellatrix. "I'd say mudbloods like you are worthless."
"You would say that," replied Hermione. "You're so predictable: 'Mudbloods are yucky, pure-bloods rule'. And no doubt you intend to use one of the nastier curses on me just to prove what a higher being you are."
"I don't like this," said Bellatrix, which made Hermione look at her in disbelief.
"Then go away and leave me alone!" said the younger woman. "I mean to say, what the hell are you doing here anyway? You're obviously reluctant to use a curse on me, or you would have done so already. Just what is the point of this?" Yeah, I'd really like to know that, she thought as she dreamed.
"This isn't how it's supposed to be!" said Bellatrix, almost hissing with frustration. "You're supposed to be scared, frightened enough to shit yourself. But you're not. WHY aren't you scared?"
Why aren't I? thought Hermione. "I don't know. I've experienced you once, I suppose you lose your scary edge on a second confrontation," answered the dream-Hermione.
"Does nothing scare you, mudblood?" asked Bellatrix, tilting her head on the side again to study the younger woman.
"Losing my family and friends. If we can't save them all when we get back. I would say I'm scared of that."
"Oh so obvious," said Bellatrix, rolling her eyes almost boredly. "Aren't you a tinsy bit afraid of dying yourself?"
"Not really," said Hermione. "I've been close to that recently. There's not much you can do, except hope you live and let things happen."
"You are a brave mudblood, aren't you?" mocked the older woman.
"Bravery has nothing to do with it," dismissed Hermione. "I just do what I have to and what I can."
"So very, very brave," continued Bellatrix in her usual unhinged way. "Except you're not really are you, not on things that really, really count?"
"What are you talking about?" asked a bemused Hermione.
Bellatrix flicked her wand at the large table which was in the room and suddenly Ginny appeared, lying on the table, seemingly bound head to foot with rope and not moving at all.
"What have you done to her?" Hermione asked, feeling frantic for the first time. She tried to make her way over to the table, to Ginny, with her feet feeling as heavy as blocks of iron, slowing her progress.
"Me?" screeched Bellatrix. "What have I done to her? Nothing...which is sad to say, because she's an awful blood-traitor, but you got there first."
"ME?" said Hermione.
"Ooo you're sounding like me now, mudblood!" grinned Bellatrix.
"Tell me what you mean?" asked Hermione.
The Lestrange woman started to giggle, and put a hand to her mouth like a naughty schoolgirl, as she stood next to Hermione overlooking the apparently unconscious and bound Ginny.
"Tell me, you bitch!" shouted Hermione. In a move which shocked the real Hermione to the bone, she reached out with her right hand and wrapped it around Bellatrix's throat, and started to squeeze; she could feel the woman's pulse, feel her swallow. She'll curse you, she thought, that isn't going to work.
Bellatrix's eyes had gone wide and bizarrely she had dropped her wand and was frantically trying to move Hermione's hand from her throat, making gagging noises. "I...I'll...t...tell...you," the older woman rasped.
Hermione let go of the woman's throat. She'll trick you, she thought as she observed this peculiar dream. But Bellatrix didn't move, just stood there and coughed a couple of times.
"You let her come with you," said Bellatrix, gestruring to Ginny. "You opened her to all kinds of dangers. If something happens to her, like this, it's your fault."
"Don't be ridiculous!" said Hermione. "Ginny made her own mind up to come with me. And yes, if something happens to her I will blame myself, but I know she never would."
"You're so not fun anymore," pouted the older witch. "You know all the answers. Or do you?"
"What are you babbling about now?"
"She's falling for you," said Bellatrix. "And you're falling for her, aren't you? Except both of you refuse to tell the other."
Oh right! thought Hermione, as she dreamed, I see this is a very muddled up dream with a little curious wishful thinking thrown in.
Bellatrix made a sniffing sound as if she could detect a bad smell. "I think it's all rather disgusting. A mudblood and a blood-traitor. Ew, makes my skin crawl."
"Yeah, well you'd know all about making people's skin crawl," replied Hermione. She looked at the almost lifeless form of Ginny and reached out a hand to the redhead's cheek and with the back of her hand she could feel warmth. At least she's alive, she thought. "So again, I ask you, what have you done to her?"
"Nothing," said Bellatrix, with another silly tittering giggle.
"What's wrong with her?"
"You're what's wrong with her," said the clearly unbalanced older witch. "Maybe sleeping beauty needs to be woken up? I might decide to take her away again, if you don't hurry up about it!"
"Sleeping beauty? Do you mean woken up like Sleeping Beauty?" asked Hermione uncertainly. What would Bellatrix know about a muggle fairy tale? she thought.
"As I said, it's all rather disgusting, but yes, it seems you have to connect your dirty little lips to hers," said Bellatrix scrunching up her face. "You ought to seize the moment before it's too late."
Fine, just do it, Hermione thought and willed her dream-self to just kiss Ginny and be done with it. It's only a dream and Bellatrix is making no sense whatsoever!
Hermione leaned over Ginny, and looked down into her face, taking in how beautiful she looked as she lay there peacefully. Without much hesitation she slowly lowered herself and gently pressed her lips to Ginny's.
Ginny opened her eyes, and Hermione backed away a little. "I thought you'd never find me," said the red-haired woman. "I thought you'd never work out what was needed. What I needed. I need you."
The ropes around Ginny had disappeared now and she wrapped an arm around Hermione's neck and placed her hand on the back of her head and brought her down to kiss her again. Bollocks! thought Hermione. Sleeping Beauty pecks are one thing, but deep snogging...again?
"Urgh!" gagged Bellatrix next to them.
They ignored the Death Eater witch, as Hermione was still kissing Ginny, their tongues were exploring each other's mouths, gently questing and probing.
But things all happened and changed fast. Hermione was aware of a slight shoving sensation, and felt Ginny jerk in their embrace and then Bellatrix was cackling madly, and Ginny was coughing and suddenly Hermione tasted something odd...it tasted like...blood.
Hermione pulled back sharply from Ginny, to see that Bellatrix had stabbed the side of Ginny's neck and blood was pumping uncontrollably from the wound and from Ginny's mouth as well, and she was coughing and choking, the table dripping with blood.
"NOOOO!" shouted Hermione, as her hands went to the side of Ginny's neck, pressing at the entry wound to try and stop the bleeding, as Bellatrix watched on, amused, twizzling her dagger, with it's red-stained blade in her hands. It was the same dagger which had killed Dobby.
"No! Stay with me, Ginny. Please!" said Hermione frantically. She pressed hard to the side of Ginny's neck, but that only seemed to increase the flow of blood coming from Ginny's mouth.
The redhead looked up at Hermione, fear in her eyes, her face going whiter and whiter by the second. Then she gave a smile and it was almost as if the light had gone from her eyes. The sparkle that made her Ginny, had left.
"NOOOOO!" Hermione cried.
"I told you I hadn't done anything to her," said Bellatrix in an even voice. "I didn't say I wouldn't do something to her, though. Oh well, your fault. And just as you find her and she finds you, you lose her...well played mudblood!" she laughed loudly.
It's a dream, Hermione thought, and then tried to wake up or get through to her dream-self. It's a dream, she's next to you, she's not dead. It's a dream. She looked down at Ginny again; the blood, the white lifeless face. She experienced a feeling she had never had before, she thought she could actually feel her heart break, like it had been frozen to ice and shattered.
"NOOOO!" she cried out again; despite the attempts to wake up, the potion had made her so slow she couldn't seem to move. Then she felt something go around her waist and pull her back, she wondered if it was Bellatrix grabbing at her. "Noo!" she uttered again, her voice seemingly hoarse...zzzzzzz
"Shh," said a familiar voice. "Wake up, Hermione. You're safe."
Hermione's whole body seemed to jump, her heart was racing, she felt like she couldn't get her breath and she seemed to be crying too. As she lay on her side, it took a moment or two before she remembered where she was and looked down to see an arm around her from behind.
"Ginny?" she said in a faint voice, still not fully awake. She knew the red-haired girl was with her, but a part of her was afraid that the dream was the real world, or had been a scene that had happened in the real world. The potion had made her thought processes harder to work through.
"I'm here," replied the voice, that was unmistakably Ginny's. "You sounded like you were having a terrible nightmare?"
Hermione couldn't answer as she was still struggling to get her breathing under control, and her chest felt extremely tight and not just around the area she had one of her injuries healing. She could still see the image of the bleeding Ginny, whether her eyes were closed or open.
"Hermione? Are you all right? Do you need anything?" asked a concerned Ginny.
After a few more moments, with Ginny ready to move and get a better look at her friend, to see what was going on, Hermione finally spoke. "I was...I was at Malfoy Manor and...I saw Bellatrix," she said.
Ginny settled back again. "Did she...was she hurting you?"
"No," said Hermione. "I was winning our conversation for most of the time, saying things to her I'd never have the guts to say in real life. It was almost funny, but then..."
"Things turned bad?" asked Ginny.
"Yeah," Hermione said, then left a long pause, making Ginny wonder if her friend was going to say anything else. "Then you appeared."
"Okay," said Ginny uncertainly.
"She...you...," Hermione decided she had to move so she could see Ginny a little better, so she turned slowly and laid on her back with Ginny lying on her side, facing her still. "You were bound with ropes, unconscious...she...you...to cut a long story short," Hermione decided to say. "She...she stabbed you in the neck. The...the blood...and...you...," she tailed off again, unable to get rid of the image from her mind, of the lifeless bloodied Ginny.
"I'm not dead, though, am I?" said Ginny, realizing what must have happened.
Hermione turned herself slightly to actually face Ginny properly for the first time since she had woken up, almost finding the breath catching in her throat, to see a very alive and well Ginny looking back at her concerned.
"I don't know if it's the potion or what it is," said Hermione. "It was so real, so very real...I can still see it."
Ginny moved a hand up to Hermione's face and wiped away a stray tear that had freshly rolled down Hermione's cheek. "Our dreams have been bad for days now," the redhead said. "Every single one has felt real, hasn't it?"
Hermione nodded. "This was my worst one so far, I think. I felt things I've never felt before."
"Such as?" asked Ginny, interested.
Oh shit, Hermione thought, realizing what she was about to say. That bloody potion has made me loopy! Then her conscience chipped in:
Tell her. What better moment than now? Tell her all of it?
If that dream taught you anything, it was about taking your moment and not waiting until it's too late. No way, I can't seriously be thinking of...
Why not? You can always blame it on the potion. That's dreadful! It's like not revising for an exam then getting a bad mark and blaming it on having a cold. Everything could get very awkward and we have to...
"You don't have to tell me," said Ginny, bringing Hermione back to the present. "It just seems to have helped us before, to talk about it."
"I watched the life leave you," said Hermione, determined to try and maintain eye contact with Ginny, however much her instincts were telling her to look away. "I looked down at you and I felt...I felt a physical ache in my chest. I was...I...,"
"You were...?"
"I was heartbroken," said Hermione, catching a small flicker of surprise in Ginny's eyes. "Then Bellatrix started raving...and saying things...that I...just as I...," she took a very deep breath. "That just as I had found you and you'd found me, that I'd lost you."
Ginny's expression hadn't changed a great deal, there had been a brief flicker of surprise again, but mostly she was just looking at Hermione warmly.
Is she saying what I think she's saying? thought Ginny. She's looking at me like she...like she what? "So...err...had I gone missing?" asked Ginny, thinking of a way to get more understanding of the dream and what her friend meant.
"I didn't know you were missing, exactly," said Hermione, in a measured voice. "But Bellatrix made you appear and you were bound and unconscious. To wake you I had to...," she tailed off again. Bugger! I'm going to have to continue and tell her, she thought.
"You had to...?" asked Ginny. Is she going to tell me she had to kiss me? What else would she have to do to wake me that would make her hesitate like this? she thought, trying to keep her face neutral.
"I had to...well...kiss you," said Hermione. There I've said it! SHIT!
It was a kiss! She said it! SHIT! thought Ginny. "So...did you?" asked a very curious redhead.
"Yes," Hermione said, with a small resigned sigh. "I did."
"Oh," was all Ginny could reply with.
Now is the time, Hermione's conscience suggested. Is it?
Why not? Ginny didn't back away from you, or appear to find the dream offensive. I don't want to ruin anything...besides which, what about Ron?
What about him? I don't know...it's all odd.
You've been through all the reasoning before, and not one really good reason stands in the way. Hmm...
What do I say now? thought Ginny. If I hadn't had my own blasted kissing-Hermione-dreams I wouldn't be taking this strangely at all...bloody dreams! "Err...was it...nice?" asked Ginny. Wonderful thing to ask, just to make things even more awkward! she berated herself.
"Yes, it was actually," said Hermione. To hell with it, just say it, she thought. "It was...it was even nicer when you pulled me back down for another one." Bloody shitting hell, I've let the cat out of the bag...and it's a sodding great lion too! she thought, avoiding closing her eyes so she didn't miss Ginny's reaction.
"I did that?" Ginny laughed nervously.
"Then...then Bellatrix stabbed you in the neck," said Hermione in a quiet voice, seeing the image again. "It was then I felt the whole heartbreaking thing...but before that the kiss had been very nice."
"I seem to have been very forward in your dream?" said a still uncertain Ginny. What can I say? What the hell can I say to all that? she thought.
Maybe I should seize the moment, thought Hermione. I could blame it on the potion, or just having a laugh, or something else that comes to mind in time, if it all goes wrong. Chicken!
Hermione looked at Ginny and smiled. "Yes, you were as forward as those American soldiers," she laughed, then made a decision. "You put an arm around my neck," said Hermione, as she reached over and put an arm around Ginny's neck. "Then with your hand on the back of my head you brought us...together," she said, as she leaned in and lightly touched her lips to Ginny's.
She's going to kiss me, Ginny thought, as Hermione had put an arm around her. This is wrong...okay, not wrong...it's...oh hell, just go with it!
They were connected for several moments, before Hermione pulled back again, already looking at Ginny's face to get an idea of how the redhead had really felt about being kissed by her best friend.
For the brief seconds when Hermione had pulled away, she could have laughed, as Ginny's eyes were still closed as though she was still in the kiss. It made Hermione feel relieved, for the moment.
Ginny opened her eyes and immediately looked at Hermione. "That...was...it was...," Ginny couldn't seem to find the right words for her sentence.
"Nice?" suggested Hermione.
"Ye...yeah," said Ginny, blushing and wanting to look away, but unable to, her lips tingling from that very basic and tame kiss. What do I say? I can't speak! Shit, I've forgotten how to form sentences, she thought, flustered.
I've done it! thought Hermione. Hardly! said her conscience. All right, so I haven't done it, but I kissed Ginny! What do I do now?
Give her another one! Blimey...could I do that? Maybe that would be too much?
"I hope I haven't embarrassed you or made you uncomfortable?" said Hermione, trying to gauge the situation she might or might not have created.
"No...," said Ginny, trying to get her mouth and tongue to work in synchroncity with her brain. "A little surprised...although...,"
"Although?" asked an uncertain Hermione.
"I...I've dreamed of kissing you recently," said Ginny. I've told her! What did I do that for? Ginny thought, shocked. "I...er...I think it was when I was looking for you. You were on my mind the whole time." Why did I tell her that? I might as well tell her every sordid detail of my dreams with her!
"Did you like those dreams?" asked Hermione, before she quickly added, "I mean, you didn't think they were nightmares...the kissing bits?"
"No, the kissing was...nice," said Ginny, blushing a deep red now. Nice? Is that all we can say? 'It was nice'! she thought. "It was the other things around the dreams that were the nightmares."
"Hmm," said Hermione, taking in what Ginny had told her. Can I? she thought. Seize the moment! "Would you like me to kiss you again?"
She's asking me if I want her to kiss me again? I'm dreaming...this is some bizarre dream, thought a confused and flabbergasted Ginny. A few moments had passed and Ginny hadn't changed her expression despite her brain feeling in turmoil.
"It's all right if you don't want me to," said Hermione. "It's all a little strange, especially with everything going on around us at the moment."
She might not ask again, Ginny thought, feeling a little numb now. Answer her...ANSWER HER! "All right," said Ginny, looking at Hermione and hoping she was smiling and not frowning or looking scared.
She wants another kiss! thought Hermione. I'm sure it's completely wrong and could potentially be playing with fire...oh bugger it, we're in ridiculously complex circumstances, what's wrong with a bit of kissing and affection?
Hermione looked into Ginny's eyes, and still with her arm around her friend she leaned in slowly and pressed her lips to the redhead's. It was velvet against velvet, and none of the sandpaper stubble Hermione had felt when kissing Ron. After a few moments, Hermione moved her lips a little more, just tiny nibbling movements and was happy to feel Ginny respond to her and could feel the redhead relax, which in turn made her feel relaxed too.
The kiss deepened slightly and after pulling back a little to nibble on a lower lip before resuming the gentle kiss, Hermione felt Ginny's arm make its way around her, and felt her hand go into her hair. It made the brunette smile as she carried on with the kiss...but she decided not to add any tongue. The tongue might be too much for now, thought Hermione, almost wanting to giggle for thinking about it.
A few more moments and Hermione slowly broke the kiss. She had begun to feel very tired again, and almost a little dizzy. Blasted potion! she thought. Perhaps it's not a bad thing to stop at that for now, though.
Ginny opened her eyes, as before, and looked at Hermione. Both young women could see the other's eyes had darkened somewhat, and both knew the reason for that.
"I need to get some more sleep," said Hermione with a weary sigh, glad of having something she could say and not being tongue-tied, or left to stare gormlessly at Ginny. "The potion is making me a bit woozy again."
"That was...," Ginny started. Don't say 'nice'! she thought. I must be able to say something better than that! "I've dreamed of doing that for days," she said. Great! Blurt out my secrets instead!
"So have I," said Hermione. She's admitted it, so I might as well too! she thought. "You liked it? The real thing?" she asked, wondering what answer she might get.
Ginny gave a small sigh, like she had made up her mind about something after an arduous internal debate. "You're a good kisser, Hermione," she said, but wanted to curl up and disappear after she said it. Stupid, stupid, stupid! she thought, That's as lukewarm as saying she has good shoes!
"So are you," said Hermione, smiling. "I would have given you a little longer if not for needing more sleep."
"Hmm," was all Ginny could utter. Was it just the potion made her kiss me? Well, made her kind of drunk to do it? Did she really want to kiss me for longer?
"Just so you know," said Hermione, aware of a confused vibe from her friend. "I didn't kiss you because the potion has made me doolally. I wanted to do it. I don't want to make things awkward between us, and I know how complicated things are for both of us. I just...I don't know...I wanted to kiss you, so I have. I've felt so close to you these past few days, and well, it just seemed natural."
She definitely wanted to kiss me! thought Ginny, feeling a warmth spreading throughout her body. Is this all really happening?
"We can talk in the morning," said Hermione, yawning. "If you want to?" Please say I haven't frightened her? she thought, a little concerned that Ginny hadn't said much.
"Yes," said Ginny with a smile, wishing she had answered with more. "Would you...would you like me to...sleep up close to you, in case you have anymore bad dreams?" I hope I don't frighten her off by saying that.
"Yeah, it might help to ward off anything else," said Hermione. My god that was pathetic! I want her close to me just to feel her there, bugger whether it wards anything off!
The small clock on the dressing table stated it was just gone one o'clock, when Hermione laid on her back and Ginny shifted herself so she was still lying on her side, but up against Hermione, with her head close to Hermione's on the pillows and an arm laid lightly across her waist. The brunette couldn't stop a contented smile from reaching her lips, as both women drifted off to sleep.
Ginny felt contented too, and was almost replaying recent events in her head, to believe what had happened. As of yet, she hadn't taken a visit to any dream, but wondered now what form it would take if she did dream that night. If I dream about kissing Hermione, at least I'll know why I'm dreaming it now, she thought with a lot of beguilement, as her breathing slowed and sleep came to her.