The Showdown Chapter 37
Thanks again everyone for reading and reviewing….this story will be coming to an end soon…
Santana follows Brittany through the halls and to her locker. The blonde opens it taking out a book as she turns and smiles at her girlfriend. "Hey, why do you look sad? I thought we had a great weekend."
"We did Britt. You know I love being with you," Santana speaks shyly.
Brittany steps closer whispering, "and you know I love being with you." She kisses Santana's cheek. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not sure I just feel weird," Santana answers honestly.
Brittany puts her books down engulfing the brunette, "Its' okay. It's probably just your medication. You don't feel sick or anything?" Santana shakes her head. "Give it some time your body will adjust."
"I know. I just don't like feeling like this. I would rather be sad," Santana responds.
Brittany releases her, "I don't want you to be sad either."
Santana gives her a small smile, "I don't know why you love me."
The blonde quirks her eyebrows, "yes you do, don't you? Do I not tell you enough? San I love you for so many reasons…."
"Britt, I know I was just…nevermind. Come on, I will walk you to class," Santana says reaching her hand out to her girlfriend.
Brittany walks into the cafeteria seeing her friends sitting together, "hey guys, where's San?"
"She was here and then she got all weird and left," Puck answers.
Quinn glares at him, "she was here Britt. She looked really out of it. Then she just got up and left. I called to her but she just kept walking."
"Which way did she go?" Brittany asks.
Quinn points to the door behind her, "is she okay Britt? Did something happen?"
"I'll explain later. I need to find her," Brittany states turning and heading out the door. She walked to the choir room, checked the auditorium and even looked in Ms. Corcoran's office. As she was walking down the hall she passes Ms. Pillsbury's office, glancing in she sees Ms. Corcoran standing behind Santana with her hand on her shoulder.
Ms. Pillsbury looks up noticing the blonde standing outside. Ms. Corcoran turns around motioning for Brittany to come in. She slowly opens the door smiling nervously at them as she enters. "Um…I was just looking for San."
Ms. Corcoran returns the smile, "you found her."
"Everything okay?" Brittany questions noticing Santana still hasn't looked at her.
"Actually Brittany everything is good," Ms. Pillsbury starts. "Santana wasn't feeling herself so she found Ms. Corcoran and she brought her in to talk."
Brittany looks back to Ms. Corcoran and mouths "her pills?" Her teacher nods her head. "San? You want me to call my mom and have her come pick you up?"
Santana finally turns to look at her girlfriend, "no, I'm good."
The blonde walks over kneeling in front of her, "baby, you look really tired. You should go home and rest."
"No Britt. I'll get used to them. I just had to prove to Ms. Pillsbury I wasn't high," Santana replies with a grin.
"I'm sorry again Santana, I didn't know," Ms. Pillsbury responds. "But I am glad you talked to me about it."
"I'm sorry too Santana, I should have known better," Ms. Corcoran adds.
"Wait, you thought she was using drugs?" Brittany questions looking at her teacher.
Ms. Corcoran sighs, "I didn't know, she didn't look right and I know she has been pulling away from people again."
"You know her, and you know what she has been through. How could you…"Brittany replies angrily before she is interrupted.
"Britt it's okay. I have been keeping my distance and she didn't know I started taking my meds again," Santana says defending her teacher. "It's my own fault. These pills are stronger and they do make me feel high."
"They might be too strong Santana," Ms. Pillsbury adds.
"I know, but she said it may take a couple tries to get the dosage right," Santana agrees.
"Do you need me to call your therapist and let her know?" Ms. Corcoran inquires.
Santana shakes her head, "no, I actually called earlier. Just waiting to hear back."
"Can we set up another time for you to come back and talk some more?" Ms. Pillsbury asks carefully.
"Um….yeah I guess," Santana answers standing up. "I can come next week during my free period, if that's okay?"
"Yeah, yes," Ms. Pillsbury responds quickly surprised that she agreed so easily. "That will be fine."
"I'm proud of you Santana," Ms. Corcoran announces with a smile. "You're going to beat this."
Santana tilts her head down, "don't be yet, there is still time for me to screw everything up."
Brittany takes her hand, "you won't screw anything up. And I will always be proud of you, I love you so much."
"Santana you are doing everything right. You are taking the medication and you are letting people help you. You will beat this, I promise it will get better," Ms. Corcoran insures her. "Not to mention the support system you have. There are a lot of people who want to see you get better."
"I just wish it would happen faster. It's not fair to those people and especially Brittany," Santana speaks sadly.
"Don't worry about me or anyone else, I am not going anywhere," Brittany replies.
Santana nods her head, "I don't deserve any of you."
"You do and so much more. Stop thinking you are not good enough. You are absolutely perfect to me," Brittany says squeezing her hand slightly.
"I can't believe I am saying this but you need to build up that self-esteem again Santana," Ms. Corcoran says with a sly grin. "We need to get you back on that stage where you belong."
"I don't know, I….." Santana stutters.
"Come on San, please? I miss hearing you sing," Brittany pleads.
"What about Mr. Schue? He may not want me back," Santana says searching for an excuse.
Ms. Corcoran scowls, "good then that's settled, see you this afternoon."
Brittany leads Santana down the hall towards the choir room, "Britt, stop please. I don't know if I am ready for this," Santana states pulling her hand out of the blonde's grasp.
Brittany stops, turning to face her girlfriend, "what are you afraid of? They are your friends and you see them every day anyway."
"I know, it's just…." Santana leans her back up against a locker.
"Is it Finn?" Brittany asks stepping in front of the brunette. She places her hands on Santana's hips. "I won't let him near you."
"I…" Santana sighs, "okay let's just go." She leans forward placing a quick kiss on the blonde's lips.
Brittany smiles as she takes Santana's hand and walks to the choir room. She opens the door squeezing the brunette's hand slightly and leads her in. They walk to the back of the room as they take their seats. Quinn and Puck both give them a smile as Mercedes shouts, "it's about time, this room has been way too quiet."
"Welcome back Santana!" Mr. Schuester announces walking in followed by Ms. Corcoran. "You've got some catching up to do but I know Brittany and Mike can teach you the choreography."
"Thanks Mr. Schue," Santana replies softly.
Finn turns facing the girls "glad you're back."
"Don't!" Santana responds sharply.
Brittany reaches over taking her hand in hers. Santana knows that's the blonde's way of telling her to play nice. She tried to warn her she was not ready to face Finn like this. Everything that happened started when he opened his mouth. Santana stands abruptly startling Brittany, "I'm sorry Britt, I just can't." She walks towards the door.
"San!" Brittany calls out.
"Santana?" Ms. Corcoran stands quickly catching her arm before she leaves, "talk to me."
Santana nods pulling her arm away and walking into the hallway. Ms. Corcoran follows "what happened?"
"I can't be near him, I get so angry. I tried to tell Britt before we came in, I'm not ready," Santana responds quickly as Ms. Corcoran steps closer. "I'm sorry."
"Okay, calm down," her teacher states.
"I want to come back, I do, but he makes me so mad," Santana starts.
Ms. Corcoran interrupts, "have you talked to your therapist about it?"
Santana nods her head, "yes she's been trying to help, but I blame him for causing all of this. I mean, it all started because of him, but I know it was my fault."
"It was not your fault. Yes you probably should have been able to talk to your parents about yours and Brittany's relationship before it got to this point. Other than that you did nothing wrong, you need to stop putting blame where it doesn't belong. Finn should not have opened his mouth, but he didn't force Josh on you or Brittany and he isn't the one making you depressed," Ms. Corcoran states. "Do you trust me?"
"What?" Santana asks surprised. "Um…yeah."
"Okay then come with me," her teacher takes her hand leading her back into the choir room. "Sorry to interrupt but this glee club is always talking about being there for one another. Well Santana would like to talk to you."
Santana angrily turns towards her teacher, "what…I don't….no!"
"This is your chance Santana, tell Finn how angry he makes you, tell your friends how much you need them and appreciate them," Ms. Corcoran instructs her.
"I can't," Santana answers nervously.
"You can, you said you trust me. Then trust me when I tell you, you can," her teacher speaks softly.
"I don't know what to say," Santana mumbles lowering her head to avoid eye contact with any of them.
"San, look at me," Brittany says causing the brunette to raise her head, "pretend it's just us talking, just you and me."
Santana gives her a small smile, "I…I guess I should apologize for being such a bitch lately. Most of you have tried to be there for me and Britt and I kind of pushed you away. My therapist, yes I am seeing a therapist, I am depressed and taking medication, that's why I sometimes seem out of it. But she has been trying to help me with the anger and with accepting who I am. I am trying Finn, please just give me some time," she says looking over at the boy.
"I never meant for any of this to happen," Finn responds.
"I know and if it wouldn't have hurt anyone else I could have dealt with it, but it did. It hurt Brittany and her family, it hurt my family. It hurt the people I love and I don't know how to deal with that. Brittany doesn't deserve to ever be hurt. I know you all think I am heartless and deserve everything I got but…" Santana quickly wipes a tear.
"That's not true," Quinn speaks up. "I have seen you with Brittany and I know how much you love her. I know you don't want to hurt anyone. You would do anything for your friends." Quinn stands walking up to the brunette, "you didn't deserve any of this either."
"Thanks," Santana whispers trying not to cry.
"Yeah you know Lopez, if people took the time to get to know the real you they would see how awesome you really are. You've always been there for me," Puck states winking at her.
Santana laughs, "um…thanks Noah."
"And you know, you and Britt are my girls, I love you both," Mercedes adds.
Rachel stands stepping closer to Santana, "I know you and I haven't always gotten along but no one deserves what you have been through or to feel sad all the time. You are a good person Santana."
Brittany sees the tears start to stream down her girlfriend's cheek. She quickly stands walking by Quinn and Rachel to stand next to her Santana. She takes her hand in hers, feeling the brunette's body start to tremble she leans in closer whispering to her as she wraps her arm around her waist. Santana quickly turns wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck.
"Santana?" Finn speaks softly. "I'm so sorry."
Brittany still holding her girlfriend turns to look at him, "lets' get something straight." He nods. "I love Santana more than I could ever imagine loving anyone."
"I know, I'm sorry for saying you didn't love her," Finn responds. "I'm sorry for saying a lot of things."
"I am sorry, to all of you, especially you Britt. I know I say a lot of things and put you guys down. But I honestly do not know if I could do any of this without you guys," Santana speaks. "I…I guess….I need you."
Brittany pulls her tighter against her, "and we are here for you."
Quinn and Rachel both wrap their arms around the girls, "you got us Santana," Quinn says softly.