Authors Note: Hello my lovely readers, I am updating a lot earlier than I had intended following quite a bit of backlash from the previous chapter in terms of the reviews left to me.

(If you have love for this story I apologise for the rant and feel free to skip over it)

As with Doing It The Blonde Way I have found writing shall I say different OC has not come without its critics. But with Erin people have really seemed to got the bit between their teeth with her which I think is a bit of a shame.

This started out quite clearly as a story about a girl with anxiety, something that effects a huge amount of the population on varying levels of severity. Now I have tried to keep Erin as true to herself as I could while writing her, and I think you need to picture the huge amount of mental and emotional strain she is under.

The idea that people will be all hunky-dory with the idea of Wolf's and Vampires is something a little to unrealistic for me, and for someone like Erin it's a minefield. In the back of her head she knows they exists, (as we will find out in later chapters) but she is suppressing this knowledge.

I love writing about Erin, and about how she has to tackle the world. Yes some of it is based on personal experience and from others I know, but the other large part of this is fictional, hence why it is called a fiction based story. I always try my hardest to take every negative review on board, and consider the time it has taken someone to leave me these thoughts but when it becomes a quite rude and personal attack I find that very unnecessary and it really makes me question whether or not I want to continue posting stories on this site.

When people have clearly spent the time reading up to chapter 34 to then leave such a unpleasant review I really do question why you have bothered reading the story is you clearly dislike it so much?

I wrote Erin like is did with Imogene in my other fiction because I was bored of not being able to read about a character with issues. Issues that did reflect to some extent part of the population that did exist and were hidden behind a invisible condition.

tiamaria89

I understand that Erin's experience may not personal reflect your own experience with anxiety but I must stress that I have based her experience and her character on a anxiety disorder so she may hold some similar traits even if her condition is profoundly different. Well I don't think Erin's is much of a case we'd experience. Her condition is amplified by the scenarios which she is placed within during this fictional story. I also have to stress that this is a fiction, perhaps in real life she would be seeking further medical treatment, but in real life she wouldn't be a imprint and their wouldn't be Wolves roaming around a reservation. I appreciate your suggestions on Erin's condition but I am not in the habit of completely branding her as I feel she will fluctuate in the severity of her condition throughout the story and that will reflect the experiences she is having.

Guest

Well I've pretty much explained it all up about but I will leave you a more specific response. Erin may be a 'raving Looney' in your eyes, but she does actually display the symptoms of an anxiety disorder. Believe it or not my fiction has actually involved research and is not something I have plucked from thin air.

Generalized anxiety disorder is defined as an uncontrollable disposition to worry about

one's welfare and that of onc's immediate kin. Associated manifestations include arousal,

vigilance, tension, irrita- bility, unrestful sleep and gastrointestinal distress amoung others symptoms.

There's your definition, I hope this helps you to understand Erin's little better, and what she is going through. As for me. I never said she is the shadow of myself as I don't' like in La Push, have an Imprint or live around Wolves. So there you go. I said Erin was inspired by personal experiences and people I know. No one is Erin, because she is her own fictional person. I have Fibromyalgia and as part of this condition experience levels of anxiety and depression. What I personally input to Erin in terms of my own experiences is when I learnt to drive. Which was when I was going through my initial stages of diagnosis, on no medications and dealing with a great strain of family's stress which resulted in much of the difficulties Erin to is facing with her learning to drive.

Erin hasn't lost the plot, she's just a girl, struggling.

So I'll get down to it. If you don't like Erin, think she's a freak-show and need's locking up, whatever, go and find another JacobxOC story to read. There are plenty out there all with pretty much the nice, normal character that you clearly desire and will find much more enjoyable than this. I'll carry on doing what I do, and you can do what you do.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Jacob Black

Erin slid the bike helmet up and over her head and a quick shake freed her auburn waves to there wild curling around her face. She was gradually getting used to the motorbike but I think it would be to early to say if she'd ever actually enjoy the experience. I think she feared it, and feared the proximity it brought with me.

The porch that stretched around the Uley property was already full and I knew are arrival had been watched intently. I reached into the saddle bags pulling out the two separate birthday presents we'd brought for Claire.

Her original party had been rained of, but now even in the cold I could smell the barbecue and longed for a chilled beer to even out my own tension.

I struggled to keep my eyes of Erin as she bent down to shake the dust which had picked up on her dress. It was a velvet red, stretching down her arms, dipping down the back and falling to her knee is a loose skirt it seemed to make her hair seem even more alight.

"What did you buy her?" I asked nervously looking down at her immaculate rapping. "Not hand sanitiser?" I questioned and she looked for a moment like she was torn between punching me and bursting into tears.

"No" she quipped snatching the box from me and moving up the driveway. "I brought her a book by her favourite authors. First-edition, signed" she announced triumphantly as I strode to fall back into line with her.

"Oh" I muttered feeling rather sheepish with the backpack I'd made Rachel pick out for me.

"Yours must be bad then" she snubbed bluntly and I smiled at her understanding.

"I got her a backpack" I shrugged. "I feel pretty shitty, I didn't even pick it out myself" I admitted with a pang of guilt.

"Well I'll be damned if your going to share mine" she snapped and I faltered in my step before smirking at her fiery attitude.

We walked the short distance towards the porch where the birthday girl began screeching in delight at are arrival, or perhaps it was just Erin's arrival. Either way her cries seemed to drown out the hushed whispers that surrounded her entrance.

She caught Claire up in a warm embrace but I still noticed the stiffness in her as she held her as if she was uncertain of herself, or how she should be doing this. Erin's warmth did not seem to come naturally to her.

"Happy Birthday" she congratulated and I gave Claire a pat on the back and reluctantly handed over my half-hearted present. Quil was eyeballing me from the steps and I could already tell he knew how suckish my gift was.

We were carried forwards into the house and Erin for once seemed glue to my side, and I was uncertain with how I felt about having her following after me. When people tried to engage her in conversation she'd blush and look for me to answer. When anyone brushed against her she flinched moving into my side, and when finally she made eye contact with Sam Uley she excused herself to take some air.

I looked to Quil who was always more tactile in these situations but he stared back at me, demanding I take the lead with this one.

Erin hadn't moved far, but had set herself away from the women that grouped on the steps idly gossiping. The conversation ceased as I passed Emily and Kim who glared at me with a sense of caution.

Leah was stood by them and flipped me the finger and she stuck out her tongue but I was at least relieved she hadn't approached Erin. Surely her presence alone would be enough to send her into a panic attack.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked kicking at the dirt.

"I just wanted to get some space. I need time to rationalize, being outdoors helps to put things into perspective" she shrugged.

"What's going through your mind right now?" I asked my hands itching to reach out and touch her.

"Right now" she laughed shaking her head. "Right now Jacob, do you really want to know?" She demanded and I nodded eagerly.

"I was thinking about the bodies crammed into such a small place, the risk of infection and all the germs that were being spread, I was panicking about how I was going to have to make some lame excuse when the food was served and how I couldn't stand watching all those people eating around me. About how awkward conversation was, and about what a awful burden I was on Claire, how I was ruining her party. I was grappling with my mind, forcing myself to stay by your side because I was terrified that people recognized me from the Bonfire. I felt like people were whispering about me, I felt like I was being scrutinized for even breathing.

But now, right now Jacob I'm thinking about you. About how much I want to touch you, about how I want to jump your bones" she deduced knotting her hands together. "And that right there is far, far more scary then anything I had to encounter inside that house" she shrugged turning away from me and I could hear her heart rate increase.

"Hey Jake, Purser. They're doing the party games!" Embry called from the porch and I shot my head over to where he was stood.

I flinched as I saw Rachel beside him, Paul surrounding her in a tight embrace. She was glaring at me like I was something toxic and she was whispering, I caught Erin falling from her lips but Paul cut her off abruptly noticing my gaze.

I clenched my hands at my sisters actions. Erin wasn't something on exhibit. She was a person, not some idle piece of gossip.

"We need to talk about this" I decided tugging on her arm but Erin jerked it back forcefully and continued on her walk back up to the house and I was unable to do anything other than follow her.

We'd come to sit through an hour of seemingly endless party games and the sun was beginning to set which had most of the older generations making excuses to head home. It still left a full house as soon the lights where being dipped and the music was beginning to pound from the old speakers that Quil had found in the garage.

Erin's body was tense against the music and she stood away from the shifting body's unwilling to engage in such activity her bare feet tapping against the floor. But Claire was insistent and hyper on Cherry Coke she was trying to move her body against Erin and force her into some sort of movement.

She relented and soon she was being propelled into the crowded makeshift dance floor, and I followed only a small stride behind her. Erin danced childishly with Claire until the girl got bored enough to leave her alone and Erin turned to escape but walked right into me.

Her small hands clutched at my shirt as she tried to steady herself and I felt my throat tighten as her hands slid down my chest her nails raking.

I felt momentarily speechless and it allowed her to make a sharp reply as she straightened herself up ready to make a escape.

"Your supposed to ask me to dance" she quipped her tongue sharp and eyes wounding as she crossed her arms accusingly.

"I don't dance" I shrugged trying to come off unfazed but the situation was anything but. People were bumping up against us and Erin seemed ready to cry.

"Dam" she shrugged trying to step past me but I pulled her back again my face full of a smirk that she seemed ready to wipe off.

"Doesn't mean I wouldn't for you" I reworded and she tensed for a moment her eyes flashing with apprehension before she gave me a nervous smile, her hands clenching and unclenching in a self-soothing gesture.

I allowed the bodies to push us together as we moved to the beat, a uncoordinated, jumbled tangle of limbs which knocked against one another and tried desperately to make coy contact with one another. It was like are relationship. We danced around each other, skirting around the reality of it.

Erin seemed to relax her body becoming freer as she became lost in the music I didn't recognise. It was folky with a Indie twist and she seemed to love it mouthing the lyrics to me as she through her head back and it seemed to release something different in her. Something I think most teenagers girls harboured themselves within. Music.

The circle between us was broken only by the occasional stare, or rude comment made by someone as they brushed past us and I tried to ignore the directed hate. It wasn't towards Erin. It was towards me. To my mistakes, to my relations with the Cullen's, to the wrongs I'd yet to right.

"Nice ass Purser. You need to smack that Black" Paul leered over Erin's shoulder and the Wolf in me roared up to rip him a new ass all of his own.

But she was running and I was trying to catch her, but she didn't want to be caught, she wanted to be free and I loved her enough to let her go.

I shifted in the room full of people. I'd always been a natural shapeshifter but this transition seemed instant. The Wolf took over and I homed in on Paul, allowing Jacob Black to be lost to the creature which I suppressed for a moment.

Authors Note: Hello back on a positive note. I hope you enjoyed Jacob's POV, can't wait to update you all with the next chapter when Jake finds Erin and things get a little romantic between them! Hope you like the update, apologies to those not involved with the note above, I am so appreciative to those who continue to support and understand the reasons behind this story.

tirbute74 thank you very much for the follow and favourite on the story, and for favourite on my profile!

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