Enjoy

Sins of The Father
Chapter 37

Stranger Danger

Christians POV

"Ana, I know that you hate my friendship with Elena."

"My God, Christian. You make it seem like she's just one of your annoying childhood buddies I need to accept because he's part of the package deal."

"Is that what it was? You thought Elena is part of the deal in being with me?"

"You demonstrated it time and time again. And you still do."

"When? How?"

"You chose her over me."

"When? How?

"Are you really sitting there acting like she hasn't been smack in the middle of us since we met?"

"Ana, I knew her before you. The same way you knew your friends. Remember Kate and that grabby fucker Jose?"

"What do they have to do with anything?"

"They had opinions about me the same as Elena had about you and I can't stand tolerating either of them. Have they left your life because I don't want them in it?"

"Kate nor Jose has never Dominated me. They have never been slightly inappropriate with me."

"Kate? Kate Kavanaugh. Miss Inquisition herself has never Dominated you? This is the same Kate that had you drive to another damn state to an interview with me because she had the sniffles? The same Kate that wanted my balls in a grinder every time you ran back to her place? The same Kate that was the main factor in cocktail gate? And let's not forget Jose-"

"This is not about Kate or Jose."

"No, you never want to talk about them. Because I have to accept your friends without question, right? I have to make nice with Jose and invite him to spend the weekend in our place, even though the asshole got drunk and nearly forced himself on you, right?"

"You are still over exaggerating that-"

"Because he's YOUR friend, so fuck what I think. Meanwhile, I can't even accidentally run into Elena at the damn Mile High without you sleeping in a separate bedroom when I came home."

"Stop twisting things around. You can't compare my friendships with Kate and Jose to yours with Elena. She is a despicable human being, but you refuse to see her for who she is- for what she is. She seduced a 15-year-old boy that she knew was troubled."

"She is not a pedophile, Ana."

"Okay, fine. But she is a predator. You being friends with her condones her behavior. I was trying to make you see that. She manipulates you, Christian."

"She manipulates me?"

"Yes."

"You were pushing me to see things your way, on your terms, and on your time line. And when I didn't fall in line exactly when and how you wanted me to, you would punish me by leaving. You knew how much I hated that shit. I was in hell for five fucking days the first time you left. I would have done anything to avoid that pain. You knew what it would do to me every time you said we were over and you walked out that door but you did it anyway. And each time I would have to agree to whatever the hell it was that you wanted to get you back. Elena wasn't the one manipulating me, Ana. You were."

"I didn't break up with you to manipulate you. I did it because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't deal with Elena."

"You didn't have to. You asked me to put her in her place and I did. I put her in her place. I let her know that our relationship was off limits to her. I let her know that you were off limits to her. But you kept dragging her in the middle of us every single time we fought. I couldn't even have an opinion without you thinking it was of Elena's making. You know what really pissed me off? Its that you saw me as being that weak."

"I didn't think you were weak, Christian. I don't think you're weak, but I do think that you've been manipulated by her."

"When are you going to let that shit go, Ana. I wasn't the same 15-year-old kid when you and I were together. And contrary to what you believe, I didn't go running to Elena whenever you and I had a disagreement. I respected the fact that you didn't like her. Why the hell would you think I would tell her shit about us?"

"You're not letting me talk," she says, getting up from the table. I move to follow her.

"Fine, talk. Just don't leave."

"I'm not leaving," she says, going over to the counter to pour a cup of hot water. She looks around for the tea.

"The cabinet to the left," I tell her, pointing to it. She takes out her tea bag and pours me a cup of coffee before going into the fridge. She comes out with sandwich fixings and busies herself making subs. "That's the first meal you ever made me."

"I remember," she laughs. "Seems like a life time ago."

"Talk to me," I tell her, after she settles back down in her chair.

She takes a bite of her sandwich with a deep breath.

"All those times when we fought and you got so angry that you left, are you saying you didn't run to her?"

"No. I never left you to go to her. I would go to my office, take a walk around the docks, drink. Anything that would clear my head."

"But when you came back, you were so different. You would DOM up and punish fuck me like someone had…like she had influenced you."
I shake my head at her.

"You influenced me. You pissed me off like no one else. You were so goddamn stubborn. It was the only way I could control you."

"By fucking me into submission?"

"Yes."

"Elena didn't tell you to do that? She didn't tell you is what you needed?"

"No. Why would you say that?"

"The text messages I saw the night you came in drunk. And the phone calls. The stupid letter she gave me."

"I'm still pissed at her for all of that, but none of this explains why you came all the way here."

"I ran into her the day before I left. I was in that boutique Mia loved so much. I'd stopped by after work to register for our wedding. She had been on me for days about it."

"I remember."

"There I was, picking out kitchen appliances and fretting over the different styles in silverware when Elena walked in. I hadn't seen her since your birthday disaster. She had both barrels locked and loaded and she let me have it."

"What the fuck did she say?"

"Same as that night. How I was making you miserable. That I couldn't give you what you needed to be happy because I couldn't stand you dominating me. But this time she used what happened that night. She accused me of using what I knew to tear your family apart. She said I had broken your mother's heart because of my jealousy towards her. That because of me, you were losing Grace. Because of me you were having to give up too much of yourself. That all I did was take from you and I had absolutely nothing worthwhile to give. That eventually, if I kept pushing you to conform to what I needed, you would grow to hate me."

"Ana, you know damn well that's not true."

"I didn't know it. Back then I didn't know it. We were hanging on by a thread. You and your parents were barely able to all stay in the same room together. Grace was devastated. She was always near tears. You were furious with me. You thought what I'd done was unforgivable. Things were different between us. Even as I stood there picking things out for our registry and even before Elena gave it life, things were different."

"You should have told Elena to go fuck herself."

"I did," she laughs. "My only regret at the time was that I didn't accept the complimentary glass of champagne the boutique offered so I could throw it in her face."

"Always accept the champagne."

"Lesson learned," she smiles.

"Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell me? I would have taken care of it."

"When I walked out of that place, I was livid. I was going straight home to you. I was going to tell you that I'd had it. That I wanted her out of our lives. That I didn't want to hear the mention of her name. I was already with my list of demands. With my list of ultimatums."
She whispers the last part.

"You never showed," I tell her.

"I realized that as much as I hated her, she was right."

"So, you left?"

"I left because I wasn't sure of us. I wasn't sure you'd choose me. That night when I threw the drink in her face and told her off, you came to her defense and not mine."

"That was a mistake. I was furious at her for provoking you and yes, I was furious at you for falling for it and even more so after you told Grace what you did. But you still should have come to me."

"I didn't have the courage to stay and face it."

"Face what?"

"You," she whispers. "The fallout after what I'd done. The way you looked at me because of it."

"I was pissed at you, but fuck, Ana. I still loved you."

"You loved me, but I know you didn't like me very much."

"No," I breathe the word. "I didn't like you."

"I didn't like me very much either."

"Because of me?"

"Because of us," she admits.

"Were we really that bad?"

She quickly shakes her head.

"We were both too inexperienced, I think. It was all so new and so all consuming. Every mood...every whim, was so over dramatized and intense. We didn't have a clue what we were doing. I don't think we would have lasted. I realize that, now that I'm with-"

"Hunter? He gave you this realization, did he? He seems boring as hell, Ana. Is that what you want?"

"Not boring. Just calm-"

"I'M NOT CALM?"
She raises and eyebrow at my outburst.

"I'm not just talking about him, Christian. I'm trying to explain the different relationship dynamics. You and I were like a race car going full speed around the track. We kept trying to ignore all the bald tires and the check engine light being on, but we knew it was only a matter of time before it all fell apart and we went careening into the rails. We were always holding our breaths waiting for something to go wrong."

"With Hunter you don't feel that way?"

"I just mean that, I've learned how draining it was. How unhealthy."

"I get that," I tell her, thinking of how it is with Jade. How compatible we are in all aspects of our lives. It is easier with Jade, but there is only one problem and I have to voice it to Ana. "I agree, its easier. Its calmer. It may even be healthier, but Ana, is it love? Do you love him? And I'm not talking about the safe love...the I can spend the rest of my life and be content kind of love. I'm talking about the same heartbeat kind of love. I'm talking about the unable to pull away because its too strong type of love. The world can go straight to hell when you're together type of love. The in your own bubble type of love. Do you love him like that? Because if you did, you sure as hell wouldn't have just been so in sync with me. And whatever the reason you used to come here, it sure as hell isn't what made you stay."

"I know," she whispers.

"You know? What does that mean?"

….

Carrick's POV

I get off the elevator at Christians, smiling at the text from Natalie letting me know that the transfer for HB to Seattle is underway. I look up to find Grace waiting in the foyer.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now," I tell her, kissing her cheek.

"Who was on the phone?"

"Just business," I tell her. She just stares at me. "Grace?"

"I don't want to wake Teddy," she says, brushing past me. I know she wants me to follow.

"Just business," she repeats when we're alone in Christian's office. "Personal business I'm sure, because there is no case you are working on, is there? All this time you've been spending away from home has nothing to do with a case."

"No, it hasn't been due to a case. Believe me when I say, I'm not cheating on you, Grace."

"Forgive me if I find your word to not mean as much as it once did since I can't recall the last time you've been true to it."

"Grace, please. You can't truly believe I would cheat on you. No one can hold a candle to you. Everything I do is with you in mind"

"We both know that's not true?"

"Grace-"

"I know what you've done and it certainly wasn't for me. I know everything."
She takes a file and flings it at me. It lands on the desk. The contents spill out. Pictures of me and the meetings I've held with Henry Barrington since Teddy has come to us scatter on the desk. Copies of documents from when we first adopted Christian, his birth certificate, DNA test with his true lineage are all laid out before us.

"You've known Ella all these years. How could you have done this?"

I offer her a seat in one of Christian's office chairs and she accepts it. I take the seat opposite her.

"Ella and I belong to a different lifetime, Grace. And believe me, what you have in those files does not begin to scratch the surface."

"Perhaps not, but they tell me enough. I take your lack of surprise to mean you knew all along I was investigating you?"

"No. But I suspected you would."

"You knew I thought you were being unfaithful to me all these weeks."

"Of course. You are a smart woman, Grace. Nothing gets passed you."

"My whole life has gotten past me, starting with my son and my so called best friend. At least that's what I thought was the start. And that has been devastating enough, but now to find out you've been lying to me all these years, aside from all of that."

"I was protecting you by keeping the truth from you."

"You sound like Christian. At least now I know where he gets it from."

"Grace that's not fair."

"Fair? You have the nerve to talk about fair. Whats not fair is you allowing me to live a lie our entire marriage. What's not fair is that you never ONCE said you knew Ella personally. You knew I was researching her for Christian and you sat not saying a single word. In fact, you were dead set against me finding anything out about her. I couldn't figure out why. I bought the excuse of you not wanting him to be stuck in his past, but now I know better."

"What I said was true. It does no good dredging up the past."

She shuffles through the pile and takes out a picture of Ella. The very one that hangs in Christian's old room. Ever since he pinned it to his cork-board I've all but avoided going into his room. It's like she's haunting me there. Those gray eyes are the only ones that's ever seen the real me and the truth stares back at me in that picture like a mirror held up to my face.

"Ella Brant," she reads the name written on the back with an exasperated laugh. "I always thought it was a coincidence that she had your mother's maiden name. Was that you're doing?"
I nod. Staring at Ella's picture as she stares back at me has me dropping all pretenses.

"When she came to me and asked me to help her run away from home, my father agreed to create a fake passport for her. We used that name. Ella was very close to my mother."

"Its hard to believe your parents facilitated her running away at her age."

"Ella was distraught and desperate. The Barringtons were a mean breed of boys, with the exception of her. She had such a gentle spirit back then. She was tortured in that house. My mother wanted better for her, so she sent her to live with my aunt Rose in Lexington."

"And you followed her to the states?"

"A year later. When I was done with college, yes, I followed her."

"Barrington," she says more to herself than to me. "Christian mentioned the name to me when Teddy first came to us."
At the mention of Teddy, she leaves to go and check on him.

I take the reprieve to catch my breath and look over the contents of the file. Its all very thoroughly investigated, to her credit. That son of a bitch Henry was true to his word about unblocking information. My only respite is that she doesn't truly know what she's looking at. Not that it matters much now that the source of it all is in the states. I'm sure by now he's talked to Christian. I have no idea what he's told him and the feeling of being so out of control is much too foreign for me. I should have taken care of that bastard years ago, but I enjoyed watching him suffer too much. I pick up the picture of Ella. She stares back at me, so sweet and innocent. So trusting. How I loved her. How I wanted her. I would have done anything to make her mine, but she rejected me. I can hear our last conversation in my mind like it was yesterday. The feelings come to the surface as well as the memory.

"Carrick, please don't."

"Don't plan for our future together? Impossible. I have it all worked out. In another year, I'll be partner at one of my old professor's law firm. We can get married. I'll be able to give you everything that you could possibly ever want."

"I can't. I would only be using you and I care about you too much to do that."

"You can learn to love me. People do it all the time. Lots of people are happy with less than what we have right now. We'll have a good life together. I'll buy you that ranch on the countryside you've fallen in love with. We can have babies, lots of them, so they can run wild all over the place. And you'll have your horses-"

"Carrick, stop. How can you say this when you know I don't love you?"

"You care for me. That's enough. I'll make it enough. Let me take care of you, Ella. Let me love you."

"You deserve more. You deserve a woman's heart. I can't give you mine because…"

"Because of HIM. Because you love him and not me. He is your brother, Ella. It's sick. People will know. They will shun you."

"I know."

"He's brainwashed you. I know he has."

"If only that were true. But it doesn't change things between you and me. I've tried but, Carrick, I don't love you. I never have. I never will."

The anger I felt at her words still courses through my veins after all these years. It takes everything in me not to rip her picture to pieces. I look up to see Grace standing before me once again. The anger showing on my face for a split second before I pull it down again.

"Christian knew the name Barrington," she says, sitting down in the chair before me once again. "Elliot remembered it. I thought they were mistaken."

"Elliot overheard a phone conversation that I should have had in private."

"So, you convinced our son to hide the truth too. He was a little boy-"

"Grace, I did no such thing and I am insulted by the accusation."

"You're insulted. I have been starring at your pack of lies for the last three hours and you're insulted."

"I was going to tell you."

"When? When were you going to tell me? You knew that first night that Christian was a Barrington. That he had a family that may have wanted him- a family that we were obligated by law to inform."

"I informed them. It was the conversation Elliot overheard. I informed that bastard the he had a son. That his sister was found dead on her living room floor and then I went about the business of making sure he handed over all claims to his son... MY SON."

"He is not your son. Not by blood. He had a family that you kept from him. You stole him from his family and every day you woke up without saying a word about it, you made the choice to steal him all over again."

"Do you not want Christian, Grace?"

"Of course, I want him. I'm the one who convinced you to take him in the beginning…"

"What is it," I ask her when she stops talking. She looks down at the pile of documents.

"You didn't seem surprised back then either," she says, looking up at me. "When I called you, you didn't seem surprised by what I was saying. Did you already know he was there?"

"I arranged for you to give him care. I figured you would want him."

"You arranged for it? How did you know? The only way you could have known is if..."

"Grace," I warn her. "Be careful. You are going down a road that you can't turn off of and I am in no mood to coddle you through it."

"I don't need you to coddle me. I want to know the truth."

"You told me you wanted another son for Elliot to play with. I knew Ella had one. I wasn't sure if he was the one you wanted, so I arranged for you to see him. To try him out, so to speak."

"You make it sound like I was shopping for a new dress."

"I wasn't even sure if I wanted him, but he was the better part of Ella. The part I fell in love with."

"You put the whole thing in motion?"

"It took a quite a bit of effort. I had to pull strings. I even had to wrap strings around a few necks. But in the end, it was worth watching HB suffer with his choices the way Ella had to suffer for hers. Claiming their son as my own has been icing on the cake and now, claiming his is the pretty blue candles on top."

"Cary, what are you talking about?"

"The sweet taste of revenge, my Dear," I tell her, getting up to pour a glass of bourbon from Christian's private stock. It's top shelf. My son always has to have the best. I take pride in instilling that in him. "It's true what they say. Revenge is best served cold. I've been enjoying watching him grow up for years. But try as I did, I still couldn't eradicate all of the Barrington stench from him."

"You wanted Christian for revenge? No, I refuse to believe that."

"Oh, my poor Grace. I know this must be a shock to you. But remember, you asked to know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. None of this is making any sense to me now."

"Well, my Dear, it really is quite simple," I tell her, twirling my drink before I put it up to my lips. "It's a classic tale of boy meets girl. Only this time the boy falls in love with the girl next door. Then the boy finds out the girl is in love with her very own brother."

"You're the boy and Ella is the girl," she says and I nod, even though it wasn't a question. "You lost her to her brother?"

"I don't lose," I spit at her. "Ella laid in the bed she created, I made sure of it. And I plan on doing the same to her brother when he arrives."

"Ella was a young girl. A sick girl, clearly. And she was Christian's mother."

"Ella got what she deserved."

"What did you do to her?"

"Let it go, Grace."

"I will not let it go. I want you to tell me. You said you arranged for me to be Christian's doctor. Did you know that he was severely abused? Did you know that Ella was dead and that he had been left alone with her?"

"Grace-"

"Cary? Did you…Did you hurt her?"

"Be careful the things you ask to know Grace. As it stands, you already know too much," I tell her, taking the picture of Ella and turning it face down. I swear she is possessing me to talk. No other living soul knows my secrets, but now Grace knows and she has to be dealt with.

"Please tell me that you didn't hurt that poor girl."

"She was poor," I laugh, using her picture as a coaster for my drink. "I made sure of it. I had her selling herself. She was so fucked up in the head."

"No," she pants out.

"You look faint," I tell her. She's lost all color. "Drink this."

I offer her my drink but she pushes it away, spilling it on her paperwork. She gets up from her chair and stumbles back away from me.
Shes looking at me like she's never seen me before. Her look is almost frightened. She eyes the phone on Christian's desk and lunges for it in an effort to call security in, I'm sure.

"Ryan," she whispers.

"You best leave them out of this," I tell her, grabbing the phone from her and placing it back in its cradle before anyone can answer her call. "What are you going to tell them, anyway? That your husband just offered you a drink and you panicked. They'd think you've lost your mind. Now, we wouldn't want that, would we? Imagine our beloved Grace going stark raving mad."

"Cary, whats happening? This isn't you. It's like I'm here with some stranger. Something is wrong with you. Maybe it's a form of stroke you've had. You need help."
She goes for the door but I stop her.

"Listen to me very carefully. Think about your next move. It needs to include keeping your mouth shut."

"You can't possibility expect me to do that."

"There are consequences in betraying me. Ella had to learn that the hard way. Don't make the same mistake."

"I'm not some little girl. You can't just dispose of me-"

"You are smarter than that. You always have been. You know what I can do. Up until now, you've benefited from it."

"No."

"You have always been good at pretending. You not messing up the order of things is why we get along so well. But you know the man you married, Grace."

"I thought I married a man who loves me."

"I do love you," I assure her. "But I won't make the mistake of letting love ruin me again. Let's not turn it ugly. Please, don't make me have to turn what we have into something ugly."

"Like Ella?"

"Enough about Ella."

"What do you expect me to do, forget? Go back to how it was before I knew?"

"That is exactly what you will do."

"And if I don't?"

"Grace," I sigh in frustration. It's imperative that she understands. "Think of your beautiful life. The life I gave you. Think of your Children. Elliot is about to start his new life. Mia's hasn't even begun-"

"What are you saying? Are you threatening me? Are you threatening them? I'm your wife. They are your children."

"What I do or don't do is entirely up to you now."

"Christian…Teddy," she thinks out loud. "No, you can't hurt him. He's just a little boy."

"Grace," I ground out her name when she races out of the room.

She disappears in Teddy's fort and reemerges with him still asleep in her arms. She runs upstairs with him. I stand with one foot on the bottom step, ready to ascend.

"I won't say anything," she calls down to me from the top landing. I can hear the fear in her voice.
I make it to the top landing in time to see her enter Teddy's room and lock them both in.

"Grace-"

"Just stay away." Her voice is close to breaking down.

Satisfied that she is where I need her to be tonight, I go downstairs and pour myself another drink.
I take out my phone and punch the 2 key and wait an answer.

"Natalie, get in touch with Flynn. I may need help with my wife after all."

Author's note:

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Thank you for reading and reviewing.