"Just get out of here" Jack said walking back up to Mike, Mike quickly hurried into his car "your mother should have aborted you, we would all have been better off if you had never been born". Natasha eyes filled with tears as she ran inside past Glenda and up the stairs.
...Wild One...
...Chapter Thirtyseven...
Natasha ran up into the livingroom, she stood flat against the wall, she felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest, she wished Ronnie was around, to pick up the pieces but she wasn't. Things were a terrible mess and she felt like it was all her fault, maybe her father was right, maybe people would be better off without her around.
Natasha felt like she was going to explode, she needed something to take the pain away, she started to scan the room with her eyes, she began to breath fast has her heart started pumping hard inside her chest. her vision was impaired due to the tears that were filling her eyes. She walked over to the kitchen area of the room shaking with anxiety and stress, she had a look around trying to find something that would end this unberable feeling her chest tightened has adrenaline rushed through her body, she picked up the cheese grater, noticing how sharp the grater was, she held the it in her hand dug the sharp edges into her skin on the outside part of her forearm and qucky pulled the grater downwards, Natasha winced as the edges riped her skin, the stinging pain was almost unbearable but also helped the emotional torment she was feeling. tears ran down Natsha's cheeks but she was unable to stop herself it was like the fix she desperately needed and rightly or wrongly this was her drug of choice.
Natasha lifted the grater to repeat the action but thankfully Roxy walked into the room,
"No Natasha" she shouted pulling the grater out of her hand and throwing it across the room, "look what you have done" Roxy shouted looking down at the grazed bloody mess that was Natasha's lower arm, Roxy frustrated took hold of Natasha's upper arms and started to shake her "you stupid little idiot, look what you have done to your self, do you want me to slap you eh, will that have the same affect"
"Stop it Roxy, stop it" Glenda screamed as she walked into the room, Roxy let go of Natasha but immediately grabbed her again by the top of her injured arm "look what she as done to herself"
"Ok, I 'll clean it up" Glenda said calmly and going in the kitchen cabinet to get the first aid kit.
Natasha started to wipe her eyes and looked down at her arm and then back at her Mum, "It was an accident".
Glenda looked towards Roxy "She didn't get much sleep last night, shes tired thats all" Glenda said leading Natasha out of the room and into the bedroom.
"This isn't the first time, mum just look at her arms" Roxy said following the pair "she has got marks all over them.
"Roxy, give us a minute darling will you" Glenda said giving Roxy a weak smile.
Glenda closed the bedroom door, "right lets get you cleaned up and sorted out" Glenda said sittig on the bed next to Natasha.
Natasha looked at Glenda wondering what the sorting out bit was going to be about, she wasn't sure what Glenda's reaction to the self harming was going to be, and Natasha wasn't feeling very strong, she just hoped that her mum would believe her and not Roxy.
"You know darling you have beautiful skin" Glenda said breaking the girls stare, "this will take along time to heal its such a shame" Glenda said wiping Natasha's new wound and dressing it "you have a few other marks on here did they happen the same way"
"Roxy is an idiot, It was an accident" Natasha said but at the same time looking down in shame.
"now... you know when I was a girl, I sometimes used to scratch my legs with a math compass, when I was worried or in trouble or when I felt left out"
"That was crazy thing to do" Natasha said looking at her mother "your crazy if you believe that candyfloss head over me"
Glenda smiled "you know I guess you and me are more alike then either of us would care to admit"
"No we are not" Natasha said in a stroppy voice "like I said you must be crazy"
"your going to have to get proper help you know" Glenda said in a caring voice ignoring the young girls insullts.
"Help for what" Natasha said starting to lose her temper "being clumsy, I am not discussing this anymore, its stupid"
"Why didn't you tell me that your dad was violent towards you" Glenda asked taking hold of Natasha's face in her hands "you won't have to see him ever again" Glenda said "your better off with out him"
"Well Poxy just threatened to hit me" Natasha said pulling her face away from her mother and budging herself backwards leaning her back against the headbroard. "Mum will you buy me a new mobile, Jack as mine, and I really need one, incase Dad or Shelly turn up" Natasha said trying turn the situation around to benifit her own means "I wouldn't mind a new laptop as well"
Glenda looked at her Daughter "the only thing you need at the moment is a little sleep" Glenda said standing up "all these tears are what happens when children don't get enough sleep"
"yes but I am fourteen" Natasha sighed "And you didn't think of me as a kid last night when you were giving me wine, besides that I am not tired"
"well just lay on your bed for a while" Glenda said "i'll make some dinner later"
"God that thats all we need" Natasha said rolling her eyes "your cooking"
Glenda sighed "What was that about boys behind the bike sheds" Glenda said looking back at her daughter "What your Dad was on about"
"Ummm... It was alright they were just paying me a pound for a feel, nothing to rude just a quick sqeeze" Natasha said laying down on her bed trying to wind Glenda up. "So maybe me and you are alike after all, mum"
"Right you can stay in your room until your in a better mood, me and Roxy have enough to worry about without you acting like this" Glenda said in a cold voice walking out of the room and shutting the bedroom door.
"Arrgghh!" Glenda said coming into the livingroom " you have put her in a dreadful mood darling"
"Me" Roxy said amazed "she was already in a mood, happy people don't try and grate their own skin do they"
Glenda sighed "Any word from Ronnie?"
"No!" Roxy said looking worried. "How long as that monster been beating her" Roxy said looking at her mother, "did you know"
"Of cause not" Glenda said "And I don't know maybe its just a recent thing, he won't be seeing again so lets just drop it and try to move on"
"yeah well he made it perfectly clear, that he wasn't bothered about seeing her" Roxy said still shocked by Natasha's father curel words."God, mum he must have been still in short thousers when you were with him! Roxy said looking disapprovingly at her mother.
"Oh he wasn't he was twenty and he I was fourty" Glenda said "Its not about the age, Its about what they can do, and if you must know every detail he migh be a smarmy git but he was always great in the sack"
"spare me the details" Roxy said just as her phone began to rang and she looked at the display screen "God its aunt Sal thats all I need"
Roxy went on to the landing to answer her phone call, Glenda sat down on the sofa took a deep breath and put her head in her hands.
"Its alright," Roxy said coming back into the room" She is at aunt Sals"
"Why on earth would she go to Sals" Glenda said standing up "there not even close.
"I don't know...I'll go and tell Jack" Roxy said running out of the room and down the stairs, Glenda walked across the landing and into the bedroom to tell Natasha the good news, Natasha was laid on the bed and had dropped of to sleep, Glenda smiled as she closed the door quietly and went back into the livingroom.
Glenda went down stares and asked Jack about when he was going to collect Ronnie,
Jack seemed vague and didn't make eye contact with his mother in law "Later, when the baby wakes up"
"Jack, about Natasha's phone" Glenda said "I know she caused a lot of trouble, but she really does need her phone, in case her father turns up" Jack reluctantly agreed and to get rid of Glenda handed her Natasha's phone back.
After about an hour Glenda went back and woke Natasha and told her that Ronnie was safe and had spent the night with a relative, Glenda made omelets for an early dinner, which were always Natasha's favourites from when she was little, Natasha was also very pleased to receive her beloved mobile phone back.
After she had eaten Natasha was feeling more optimistic, she had her phone back and most importantly she knew where Ronnie was, even if she wasn't around Natasha felt happy knowing her sister was safe and would be soon coming home.
"Can I use your laptop please Rox?" Natasha asked.
"Yeah but don't go deleting anything or I'll have to kill you" Roxy joked "I can I have a sister hug I need one with Ronnie being away" Roxy said holding or arms out to the usually unaffectionate teenager. Natasha hesitated but after a few second embraced her older sister, "I am sorry for shouting at you, you just freaked me out that all"
Natasha nodded and smiled "you freak me out all of the time" Natasha joked as she opened the laptop and sat at the table to use it.
Natasha in her wisdom had decided to delete her facebook page about Abi and Lauren, she was hoping to make a fresh start at school, and getting into trouble for cyber bullying wasn't a good idea. She logged on to her facebook account and clicked on to the group she created, she was amazed that the group already 44 members some from walford high and some from her old school who were just being malicious, Natasha couldn't help but read the nasty comments people were leaving about the Branning sisters most of which were being encouraged by Natasha two new best friends Amber and Brook.
A familiar paturn of behavior came over Natasha and instead of deleting the group Natasha added to it, comparing Abi to a pig and a crab and Lauren to a snake. Natasha decided to leave the page on for just a little longer, she knew she was doing wrong, but the unpleasent side of Natasha the spoilt selfish and spitful side to her took over and Natasha started to smile thinking of pain she would cause the Branning sisters if they came across it.