CH 37 Risk Prone Strategy
Smug at the blatant sexual tension and sparks that were flying between the other two doctors present in the room, confirming that she had indeed met Derek's Meredith, it was Helen who broke the silence first.
She smirked. Judging by the rumours on Derek's mood before her arrival, she was prepared to bet her life that Meredith had been the cause behind it. This was bound to be fun.
"Derek! Dr. Grey here was just getting me settled in."
Meredith's bewilderment turned to face Helen "Derek?" she asked, confusion etched on her features.
"Oh, yes!" Helen laughed, choosing to ignore the paralysed awkwardness of both her companions, "Derek and I go way back…I taught him everything he knows!"
Meredith turned to glance at Derek at this piece of information, consternation turning to avid interest, and while he had graced his friend's comment with a snort, his blushing expression validated her words.
"Helen, stop distracting the hospital staff with ridiculous stories! I'm sure Dr. Grey here has better things to do then to listen to your tall tales."
His obvious embarrassment seemed to increase Helen's amusement considerably, while Meredith was met with a pleading gaze from him that she drop the matter.
But encompassing a sly grin of her own, and genuinely intrigued by the past of a man she so much admired, loathed and however much she denied it, loved, she let herself join in the game.
Ignoring Derek's despaired puppy look and turning to Helen she said "He's really pushy, huh?"
Helen laughed" Oh yes, always has been."
Derek looked from one woman to the other dumbstruck. They were teaming up on him. "Evil." he stated dryly, and both giggled. As always when he heard it, Meredith's giggle produced chills down his back. That didn't improve matters.
"So you've known the great from the start, then?" Meredith asked more seriously, with the smallest edge of sarcasm, yet still visibly intrigued.
Helen smiled widely at her while Derek shook his head slowly in defeat. It was no use. And really, he was partly flattered that Meredith was so obviously interested in his past.
"Oh yes." Helen started, "well..." she amended "not quite the beginning, he had just finished his fellowship when we met. I was promoted head of neurosurgery at the same hospital that gave him his first full job." She chuckled "he despised me at first. Professional jealousy." she sent a cocky provocative gaze at Derek who was just as playfully glaring back at her.
"Right. Of course."
Helen looked back at Meredith. "And then he butted heads with me until he outranked me. It was only after that," she said in a sly tone, "that his pride suffered the inconvenience of becoming my friend." the tone was sarcastic and slightly mocking so that Derek was glowering at the two now, as they looked on him with wide smiles.
"I can very well imagine that" put in Meredith, "he's always had a massive superiority complex...goes hand in hand with the ego." she smirked evilly at Derek as he was left flabbergasted. "I do NOT have that bad an ego!" he protested weakly.
Helen and Meredith both snorted.
Again addressing Meredith, as though he was not there, Helen suddenly sighed, and half serious once more, stated simply, "and knowing his ego, it has probably had him find an impossible solution to my problem I don't want fixed; which is why he's gracing us with his presence"
Here she faced Derek again.
"I know you Derek, I know you're going to offer me some miraculous, spectacular plan to save me but I'm not having it. My decision has been made, and its final."
She was adamant and indisputable. He wasn't going to let him butt heads with her THIS time.
Meredith was once again at a loss at the sudden shift in both the tone and subject of the two former colleague's address to one another, and her eyes shifted between the two, trying to decipher what was going on.
Derek sighed "Helen, just hear me out."
Helen rolled her eyes before fixing them on Derek again. Meredith meanwhile, still at a loss to understand what was happening, kept quiet, focused on the scene unfolding before her.
"I had a look at the scans you took two days ago in New York, and it seems the menangioma hasn't progressed too much in the last weeks. Like I said when you arrived, we'll need to do a follow-up scan, but I was wondering what you thought of a sagittal sinus bypass." Derek started.
Meredith fought not to gasp at the multiple implications of the information that was suddenly being dumped on her. None of them were good.
1)Helen Crawford, one of the foremost brain surgeons internationally, had a menangioma in her brain, a potentially deadly tumour
2)Considering the operation Derek was envisaging, it was probably in or near her superior sagittal sinus, one of the most risk-prone regions of the brain to operate on
3)the operation which Derek was proposing was one of the most risk prone procedures out there, and was only undertaken by the very best of surgeons, in the very best of circumstances, which unfortunately for Helen, rarely included middle aged women however prestigious their medical skill was.
Crap. This sucked.
She was snapped out of her thoughts by Helen's tired sigh and question. "Have you ever scrubbed in on a sagittal sinus bypass surgery, Dr; Grey?"
Meredith breathed in deeply. "No, I can't say I have"
That sort of thing didn't come around everyday on the afghan or irakee fronts...
"But you know about it."
"Of course" Meredith said slightly defensively "I AM a neurosurgeon"
Helen nodded, smiling slightly "then, I'm sure you'll know, as indeed all neurosuregeons do, that its a procedure known as..."
"Big balls surgery" Meredith finished for her. Eyes once again flickering from Derek to Helen.
"Exactly." The gleam in her eyes was seemingly playful yet pointed asshe continued. "Now it seems I have a surgeon who has incredibly big b..."
But she didn't even have time to finish her statement before Derek interrupted hurriedly, once again flushed.
"Its ballsy...yes." he said gratifyingly, "But I CAN do it." he emphasized, looking straight at her, "and its been very successful with this kind of tumour."
"When the patient doesn't stroke out." she said bluntly, still holding his gaze.
Derek shook his head, somewhat exasperated, his earlier annoyance with her returning.
"If it works, the tumour's all gone and you get what you never have to go back in again. This way its win win." he explained.
"If it doesn't work, I'm dead." Helen countered, still unphased by his arguments. Clearly, she was used to confronting him. Meredith couldn't help but think she could do with a few pointers.
Derek looked at her in impatience, his tone a little sterner. "If you refuse to come back in two years for me to operate, you're dead anyway."
Helen smiled weakly at him, squeezing his arm. "I chose it, Derek. So that's a decision I can live with."
A cool threat and ominousness lay behind his tone as he cut back "It's not a decision I can live with." And turning away from her, grabbing his pager he said firmly. "I'm getting a resident now to get your labs."
Meredith looked at Derek dumbstruck as Helen crossed her arms at his audacity. he was blatantly disregarding her wishes. And as such, Meredith mused, her privileges as a patient.
He was crossing the line.
Meredith could tell there was more than a doctor patient relationship going on here but Derek was blatantly crossing the line. As a doctor he had to respect his patient's wishes, whatever the cost for him personally.
"Dr Shepherd..."she started hesitantly, but was cut off by the hushed aggressive tone of Derek yet again addressing Helen.
"So what do you think, hmmm?" he asked sarcastically, his bitter tone cutting the atmosphere "two years on a beach? And then what? Once you piss away all your savings. Once your memory goes,"
His eyes were blaring by now, and Meredith was almost petrified in fear at the rage behind them. She didn't think she had ever seen Derek like this. "once your motor skills deteriorate and you're dying a very slow, miserable, painful death, what then?"
His voice was deathly quiet now, slow, every word spoken singly out for effect, Helen's eyes visibly glassy and blurred with tears as he had the desired effect of fear on her, but Derek continued heedless of her discomfort "your gonna call me up, and your gonna ask why we didn't do something when we had the chance. Now, that. That is NOT a decision I can live with." he paused, breathing slightly accelerated as he looked down on her. "Not," he paused again for effect, his tone slightly softer now, " when we can do something right now, to prevent it." his last sentence was less agressive, offering some comfort back to Helen, but for Meredith it only made things worse.
She had had it, she was furious. He had blatantly taken advantage of his friendship to pressure her into something she didn't want.
Once again Derek Shepherd was only focused on what he wanted, without consideration of what he did to others to get it. Just looking at Helen was enough. The previously cheerful woman was now bent over in cowering fear, eyes blurry and terrified. Derek had no right. She was a patient, and he had backed her into a corner.
He had no right.
She shook in rage, the similarities between how he had treated her that morning coming back.
"It's not your decision to live with" she cut in suddenly, the determination and severity in her voice surprising even her.
The two others were startled into looking at her again, as if they had forgotten her presence there.
"I'm sorry?" Derek asked, but his tone belied his words, and his gaze was cold.
"I said it's not your decision to live with. Its hers. You can't bully a patient into a surgery just because you have a personal relationship with her." her words sliced through Derek like glass, but she continued.
"It doesn't work that way. You can't force people to accept things the way you want them just because it's more convenient for you."
The double entente was blatant in her words, making it clear this was also about them.
And just like that, the same blaring eyes Meredith had been shocked to see in Derek as he adressed Helen were suddenly on her, his criel flaming gaze of disdain staring back into her own with nothing but contempt and fury.