Chapter 37 - Fears

"G-Greg... why she doen't cry?

Her voice was trembling. She couldn't see House's face since he was by back, and she couldn't see her daughter.

"G-Greg... why she doen't cry? She shouted " GREG! "

"LISA ...?" He called her, shaking her slightly trying to wake her up.

Cuddy opened her eyes meeting his and ran a hand over her face.

"Are you OK?" he asked still looking at her.

Cuddy nodded and sat up slightly resting her back against the pillows.

"Y-yes..." she said rubbing her hand on her face again and moving the hair from her forehead "A-are...you just come home?" She asked seeing him still dressed and looking at the clock on the nightstand. It was past midnight.

"Yes" He answered "My patient is stable now. They no longer need me at the hospital and... I don't like leaving you alone during night" he said seriously looking at her belly before returning to her eyes.

He looked at her as she bit her lip and rubbed her belly. Only one month to her due date.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a quizzical look.

"Nothing..." she replied avoiding his gaze

"Lisa... avoiding to looking at me isn't enough... I can tell by the same if something's wrong ..." he said, stroking her face "What's up?"

Cuddy looked up at him still biting her lip. And she swallowed.

"Er... it's just a bad dream ..." she whispered "... it's nothing... I'm fine..."

House looked at her for a moment.

"Ok" he said, standing up and starting to undress.

He slipped under the covers and pulled her to him, letting her to move closer to embrace him.

"What are you afraid of, Lisa?" he asked, stroking her arm.

She didn't answer but moved even closer to him trying to relax at his caress.

"Hold me" she whispered, hiding her face on his chest.

He held her in his arms in silence, just listening to her breathing and inhaling the scent of her hair.

"What if I'll love her more than Rachel?" Cuddy whispered, breaking the silence.

House didn't answer, but stopped the hand that was stroking her hair.

"It won't happen" he said, caressing her hair again.

"How do you know it?" she asked, raising her head to meet his eyes struck by the assurance in his voice.

House looked at her.

"Because... she's your daughter. You choose her and... even if you didn't give birth to her... she's your daughter. She and Grace will be different... like any sibling... you'll love different things of them but... no more or less... you'll love them both ... " he looked into her eyes " ... and I'll love them both too... I already do" he added, lowering his head to kiss her lightly on the lips still holding her in his arms.

He felt her relax in his arms and her breathing became slower and deeper.

He knew she had fears she didn't want to share with him... he knew it because those were his own fears... Not just for Grace... but also for that happiness. In recent months he had become accustomed to being happy, and yet, sometimes, a thought came back into his mind... the fear that this happiness couldn't last...

House dismissed that thought and savored the warmth of her body close to his, closing his eyes and letting go slowly to sleep in turn.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty!" House said coming out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Hey" she said, looking at the clock. It was nearly 8:30 am.

"I let you sleep. You were exhausted last night." He said looking into her eyes "Marina has already taken Rachel to the kindergarten" he added, sitting down beside her and kissing her lightly on the lips.

Cuddy nodded, smiling slightly and stroking his arm while he caressed her face.

She put a hand on his face in turn, stroking his stubble and looking into his eyes, pulling him to herself and seeking his lips and then his tongue. She moved her hands on his shoulders and back enjoying the feeling of his muscles beneath her fingers.

"If you go on like this... you'll have to explain to my boss why I was late" he whispered nibbling her lower lip and lying on his side next to her.

"You have a patient waiting for you, House" she said smiling

"You should have thought about that before doing this..." he said, laughing, moving her hand between his legs to make her touch his erection.

He saw her eyes widen and her pupils dilated as she clutched his hand and began to massage him, biting her lip.

House moved his mouth on her neck and sucked on her earlobe.

"Make love to me" he whispered as he continued to kiss her neck.

Cuddy didn't answer, but smiled, lost in the sensation of his kisses.

"I want to make love with my future wife... now..." he repeated, kissing her neck once again before lifting his head to look at her.

Cuddy's eyes met his and she kissed him passionately on the mouth. She had repeated to herself for months that she didn't care about it but... she couldn't resist the sound of that word on his lips... wife ... and... he knew it...

House met her eyes again as he kissed her on the mouth before going back to kiss her neck, moving then down on her breast, taking her bra off and brushing her nipple with his tongue.

She turned her on her side making her lean with her back against his chest and wrapped his arm around her continuing to caress her breasts before moving his hand between her legs. He spread her legs moving one of her leg backwards around his waist while her breathing became more labored.

"Oh God ..." she moaned rolling her eyes as he slipped two fingers inside her. She turned her head towards him and he trapped those moans with his mouth as their tongues stroked and he kept moving his fingers in and out of her, stimulating her with his thumb at the same time. He felt her legs begin to tremble and not slowed his pace as he looked into her eyes.

"God, Lisa" House whispered, unable to resist the look of her face while the pleasure of the orgasm overwhelmed her and she moaned, calling his name.

The desire to be inside her was unbearable. And he moved his hand, entering her while he could still feel her most intimate part pulsate.

"God, Greg... yes..." she whispered at the feeling of him inside her as they kept to look at each other. She saw him close his eyes as he came, hiding then his face in the crook of her neck. He held her tight and kissed her neck again before lifting his head to kiss her lips.

"I love you" she whispered on his lips.

"Me too" he said

"Where's Dr. Cuddy?" House asked looking at Cuddy'empty office.

"In a Board meeting" her secretary told him "on the third floor" she added as House quickly limped toward the elevator.

He flung the meeting room door open and looked at her.

"I need to talk to you" he said ignoring the eyes fixed on him.

She looked at him with an annoyed look wetting her lips.

"House... you'll have to wait until the end of the meeting" she said in her administrative tone.

"I need to talk to you, Lisa... now" he said in a serious tone still looking at her.

Lisa... he didn't call her 'Lisa' at work and the look on his face made her miss a beat.

"What happened?" she asked as her voice betrayed her concern.

House didn't answer and continued to look at her.

"Ok" she said looking at him and then at the members of the Board, meeting Wilson's gaze "Excuse me" she added before getting up.

She looked at him trying to decipher his face as she passed near him and exited the room.

House looked at Wilson, who shot him a questioning look.

"You'd better come, too!" House added, staring at him and gesturing him to go out.

Wilson hesitated, but then he saw the look on the face of his friend and stood up, exiting the room.

"Greg, what happened?" Cuddy asked him again

"Sit down" he said, pointing to the chairs in the hallway.

"Greg ...?" Her heart began to beat faster as he gestured her to sit down.

She sat down looking into his eyes as he sat beside her. Wilson stood to observe the scene.

"Rachel..." he said, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible although his voice betrayed his agitation "she... she was taken in hospital half an hour ago with a head injury... she fell from the chute ladder in the school garden... "

"Oh my God..." Cuddy whispered putting a hand over her mouth as her hands began to tremble "H-how is she?" she asked struggling to articulate the words. She hadn't missed the fact that House hadn't reassured her that she was fine.

"They're doing a CT scan" he said touching her arm "She isn't conscious..." he added

"O-oh my..." she whispered, looking away while her eyes misted with tears and her breathing became faster.

She knew her mind wasn't clear... but she still was a doctor... he could put together the information that House had given her. Unconscious ... loss of consciousness was indicative of a moderate to severe head injury. And she knew that he had deliberately omitted other parameters... She knew that the CT was looking for brain injury, intracranial hematomas, skull fractures, spinal injuries... anything which could explain why her child wasn't regaining consciousness...

"Lisa ...?" He said putting a hand on her arm.

"I-I have to see her" she whispered as she stood despite her trembling legs.

House looked at her and nodded. He knew that he couldn't keep her away from her daughter.

Cuddy knew very well the hallways of the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, but now that hallways seemed different...

"House!" The neurosurgeon called him.

"Stay with her" House said Wilson.

Cuddy stood in the doorframe of the room before entering and felt her breath stop at the sight of her little child in that bed. She walked toward her, stroking her hand and feeling as if in a trance as she watched the parameters on the monitor and then went back to watch at her little girl.

"S-She is s-so small..." she whispered as her voice cracked.

Wilson looked at House as he entered the room and Cuddy turned to face him.

"The CT scan shows no injury." He said approaching Cuddy and stroking her arm. "But she's in an induced coma ... as a precaution, he added "They'll do another CT in at least six hours..."

She looked at him reading his relief, but also his fears in his eyes. She knew that having excluded visible brain lesions didn't mean having excluded anyway any neurological damage. The loss of consciousness was a sign of neurological damage. Only time would tell if that damage would be temporary or permanent.

She bit her lip and sat down next to the bed.

"Please, sweety... wake up..." she whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks.

House sat down beside her, but said nothing.

"You should go home" House said entering the room and handing her a bottle of water. They have been sitting in that room for a few hours... but it seemed like an eternity.

"I'm not going anywhere..." she said, ignoring House's words.

"Lisa ... there's nothing you can do for her here ..." he said again, trying to dissuade her.

He watched as she rubbed her belly, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Lisa... you're more than a month away from your due date..."

"I know that" she replied dryly avoiding his eyes.

House looked at her. He knew she was beset. She knew she risked to get into labour, and that Grace would be premature ... but she didn't want to leave Rachel.

"I can't afford to have all the three of you as patients of this hospital at the same time..." he said in a worried, but at the same time firm, tone looking into her eyes "I know you want to be with her... but you're not in the condition to do so"

He saw tears filling her eyes.

"I can't choose one of them..." she answered "I can't... I love them both so much ..." she whispered as her lip began to tremble.

"I know... but... you're not making a choice between them, Lisa..."

"I..." she whispered, looking away and looking at Rachel "... last night ... I scolded her because she didn't want to go to bed without your bedstory... and this morning ... I didn't even see her... "she said as tears ran down her cheeks "... I... I can't lose her... I can't... " she said as he took her in his arms and she hid her face on his chest.

He wanted to say "It won't happen..." but those few words couldn't come out of his lips.

"'Please... lie down in your office if you don't want to go home..." he said, stroking her back and kissing her hair "...but... you need to rest. I'll stay with her... I call you as soon as I'll have the result of the second CT... "

House opened the door of Cuddy's office and she looked at him as he entered. Obviously she wasn't asleep. She was sitting on the couch with her hands resting on her knees and a handkerchief in her hand. Despite the dim light of her office he could see her red and swollen eyes.

They said nothing, but their eyes met as he sat beside her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Cuddy shook her head, letting out a bitter smile

"Have you talked to Wilson?" She asked in turn, not answering his question.

"He's just worried" he said looking at her while she sighed, closing her eyes.

"How do you think I can feel, Greg?" she said, shaking her head slightly.

"If the contractions are painful or more frequent you need to have yourself checked..." he insisted with a slightly dry tone.

"I'm not in labor... if that's what concerns you both..." she said in a harsh tone "... And Grace is not my first concern right now..." she added, looking away.

House stayed silent, rubbing his leg. He took his Ibuprofen from his jacket and dry-swallowed three tablets closing his eyes.

"You're not the only one to be worried about Rachel!" He said, standing up and raising his voice slightly "Damn! It's even my daughter!" He shouted "It's a pre-term birth what you want? ... To have even Grace as well as Rachel in the ICU? He screamed again "All right! Look at you! Are you or not a doctor? Don't worry, Cuddy... I think you're gonna be satisfied!" He screamed again, glaring at her before getting up and out of the room, slamming the door and leaving her alone.

Cuddy looked at the office door and felt a lump in her throat as tears came back rolling down her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands as she let herself go, unable to hold back her sobs.

House stopped in front of the elevator door and thumped the wall. The pain subsided his anger only slightly. He ran a hand over his face and through his hair as he stared at the elevator closed doors.

Sorry... not what you wanted to read... but I promise that the second part of this chapter will come soon! Tnx for reading