"The army?!" Charlie and Dorothy said in unison.

Sam shook his head, trying to pay attention to the conversation. His mind was wrapped up in other things like if he could move his pieces around the board without his sleeves pulling up and revealing his bruises.

It was a Tuesday. It was family game night. It was doing no favors for Sam trying to keep everything under wraps from his family. As a result, he had missed the entire conversation.

"Wait, what?" Sam asked.

Dean sighed, looking at the Risk board. "Yeah," he said, "Cassie joined the damn army."

"But we're at war," Charlie said.

"That's what I said," Dean said, "But she says she isn't cut out for college and she doesn't have anything keeping her here. Sam, it's your turn."

Sam didn't even bother looking at his cards. There weren't any matches. He grabbed two infantry pieces and put them with his forces on Australia.

"But she might actually see action," Charlie said to Dean.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I know. She thinks it might be fun. I think she's lost her freaking mind," he said.

Sam moved all but two of his forces to Siam, quickly pulling his arms back and pulling his sleeves down.

Charlie looked at Sam and said, "Speaking of losing their freaking minds. Sam, what do you think you're doing attacking my continent like that?"

"Asia's not yours yet," Sam said with a small grin.

Charlie tossed the dice at Sam. "Let's do this," she said.

After Sam triumphantly took over Siam and drew a card, Charlie sighed and said, "Dean, you've got to talk to her. She's got things keeping her here. She's got you."

"I've been talking to her," Dean said, "She's already joined. Her mind's made up. And honestly, I don't think I'm enough of a reason for her not to go."

Sam moved some of his troops back to Indonesia to fortify and passed the turn to Dorothy. He leaned back in his chair and tried not to wince. His back was just as banged up as his arms.

It was just another phase. Just like the leather and the boots and the John Wayne obsession, this was just another exercise in masculinity for Luci. It would pass. But there was no way his family would see it that way. Sam tugged his sleeves down past his wrists. If Dean was so upset that Cassie might get hurt by being in the army, he'd definitely kill Luci for the pain Sam was enduring. But it was worth it. Hiding it from his family was worth it. Luci was worth it.

Sam knew it was really messed up, but he knew that by taking the hits, he was helping to support Luci while he figured out his masculinity. It was just another phase.

Dorothy moved her troops in to attack norther Asia.

"Et tu, Dorothy?" Charlie said.

Dorothy grinned.

An hour later, Dean got up. "I forfeit. I'm gonna go call Cassie," he said.

Charlie nodded and said, "Yeah, fuck this game. These dice are rigged."

Dorothy laughed as she picked up another card for conquering yet another territory.

Sam sighed. All he controlled anymore was Australia. Dorothy had taken over basically everything else. Even if Dean, Charlie, and Sam all joined forces against her, Dorothy still had the advantage.

Charlie left for the bathroom, and Dean headed off to his room with his phone in hand.

Sam gave Dorothy a smile and said, "Good game."

Dorothy grinned but her expression dimmed. "Sam, are you okay?" she asked softly.

Sam nodded and lied like he'd been doing it his whole life. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said.

"Okay, good. You've just seemed kinda quiet lately, so I wanted to make sure," she said.

Sam tried to give a reassuring smile, but he knew it fell flat. "Thanks," he said, "I've been kind of stressed from school, but otherwise, I'm good."

Dorothy chuckled and said, "Yeah, school sucks that way. Well, if anything does come up, you know you can talk to me, right?"

Sam nodded.

"Good," Dorothy said, getting up. She quickly started putting her enormous army back in the Risk box. Sam stood up and grabbed a few pieces to help but slow enough that the bruises near his wrists would stay covered.

Luci had grabbed him too hard when he'd tried to leave the night before. If this wasn't a temporary thing, Sam would've invested in some hoodies with longer sleeves. But Sam was well aware of Luci's phases after all this time. There was no point preparing for something that wouldn't last longer than a couple of weeks.

Once they got the game put away, Dorothy said, "I'm going to make sure Charlie didn't fall in the toilet or something. Goodnight, Sam."

"Goodnight," Sam replied.

Dorothy and Charlie made their way to their room, Charlie loudly defending her habit of playing Tetris on her phone while using the bathroom. "It gives me something to do, okay?" she said.

Dean walked out of his room, still on the phone with Cassie. "No, I'm not just going to drop it. What if something happens to you?" he said, "Why does it matter what I'm doing? I'm trying to talk to you and...I'm going to take a piss, are you happy? Don't hang up, we aren't done talking." Dean paced over to the bathroom before saying, "No, we are not done talking. You want me to hold my bladder while arguing with your stubborn ass? I don't think so." He walked into the bathroom.

Sam shook his head at his family. He plopped down on the couch while he waited for everyone to fall asleep. He needed to take a shower, and because of all the bruising he had going on, he really needed everyone to be sleeping or in the their rooms at the very least. He certainly needed Dean to get out of the bathroom.

Just as Sam was starting to get comfortable on the couch, the bathroom door opened.

"Fine, but you have to promise me that you'll stay safe, that you'll come back in one piece, and that you'll keep in touch," Dean said into his phone, walking back to his room, "And something concrete, too. If I ever get married, you have to be there."

Sam's ears perked up at that. Dean actually thought about marriage? He wondered if things with Lisa were getting more serious.

Dean opened his bedroom door and said, "Nice, Cassie. That's real mature. If you promise you'll be at my hypothetical wedding, even though you say it would take a miracle, I'll try to be supportive of this whole army thing."

Dean looked over at Sam, and Sam gave him a quizzical look.

"Shut up, Sam," Dean said, going back into his room.

Sam sighed. He accepted the fact that he'd never understand his brother years ago, but it made Dean's antics no less confusing.

Dean closed his door, and Sam was alone. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore how stiff his back was. He stretched, regretting the movement, and headed for the shower.

Sam stripped off his clothes. They landed haphazardly near the toilet. He turned and caught his reflection in the mirror above the sink. What he saw there made him freeze.

Several bruises had bloomed on his shoulder from where Luci had disagreed with him over what movie to watch. Sam had said, "Hey, that hurts." Luci's only reply was "That's how you know I'm serious" before hitting Sam again.

His chest had a red blotch from this afternoon when Luci had greeted him with a punch. Sam knew Luci had been aiming for a light, playful punch. He'd just put a bit too much force behind it.

Sam refused to look at his back. It had been the victim of so many slaps lately, he knew it was either red or bruised or both.

Seeing all of this in addition to the finger shaped bruises along his forearms nearly pushed Sam over the edge. He knew he was being a good boyfriend by taking the hits. He knew he was being supportive during this round of masculine experimenting. But he also felt like shit for it. What did that say about him that his boyfriend didn't mind hitting him, and he didn't do anything to stop him? He knew Luci loved him, and honestly, that made it worse. Luci loved him and was completely fine with hurting him.

Sam's face crumpled for a moment as he struggled not to cry. Taking the punches was breaking his heart. How could Luci hurt him if he still loved him?

He got in the shower and turned on the hot water. The warm water helped soothe his aches but not his mind. What kind of person was he that he'd put up with this kind of behavior from his boyfriend? Maybe he deserved the pain if he was so willing to take it.

Tears mixed with the shower water on his face as he dropped to his knees.

Waking up took effort these days. But he had to stay strong for Luci. Once this painful phase passed, everything would go back to normal. They'd be fine.

Sam slowly washed up, taking care to stifle his sobs as much as possible as he washed the soap from his body.

After his shower, Sam grabbed two towels. He wrapped one around his waist, draped the other around his shoulders like a cloak. That way his family wouldn't see the damage. They wouldn't understand. Sam barely understood, but if Luci needed Sam to be a punching bag for a bit to figure himself out, then so be it. Sam knew it was worth it. Luci was worth it.

Sam gathered up his clothes, making sure the cover the bruises on his arms with the fabric, and headed to his room. This was only temporary; everything would be fine soon enough. It was only a matter of time.

Even though he knew it was just a phase Luci was going through, Sam still cried himself to sleep.