A/N Hello, friends! I hope this finds you happy, healthy, and warm! I know much of the US has been colder than Tanya's heart this week! I hope those of you in the thick of it were able to stay inside for the most part. Not fun! Warmer weather is coming though! And warmer chapters (Sunday!)

Yeah, this is not THE chapter, it's the chapter before the chapter! But I think it's a fun one and hope you do as well. That reminds me, Melanie, I couldn't reply to your review, but I wrote last chapter well before I published the "high" chapter, so I didn't alter it to appeal to the audience. That's not how I roll. I write to make me laugh and forget about the real world for a while, and hope I do the same for you all of you! I liked the continuity of Bella losing control of her mouth when she's under the influence. And I got to use the word "deflowering" Pure win in my book :)

Anyway, I'll let you get to reading and see you on Super Bowl Sunday. I can promise that E&B will be scoring that day :) Love you all and see you then!

To All the Boys Chapter 30

Now I knew what death felt like. It felt like a herd of elephants running over my head. It felt like I'd licked sandpaper for the past twelve hours. It felt like an hour at sea, as my stomach rolled and rumbled. It felt like hell.

"Take some more aspirin."

I moaned as I opened my eyes and stared into the very clear, very amused gorgeous green eyes of my boyfriend. My chivalrous boyfriend who had refused to take advantage of my drunkenness last night and left me fully flowered.

I took the aspirin and water from him and struggled to sit up. I was tangled in the sheets, and not for any good reason like tearing up the sheets with my super-hot boyfriend, who was entirely too hot this morning.

"Why do you look perfectly fine?" I demanded before taking the pills and chugging the water. Sweet, wonderful water. I would never drink anything else ever again.

"Because I am?" Edward asked, his smile dimming a little as I glared at him. "I only had two beers. It was clear pretty early on that you were going overboard, so I stayed sober to take care of you."

Damn it. Even with a hangover from hell, I couldn't be mad the boy. He was just too smooth.

I sighed as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "Thank you for taking care of me. I didn't deserve it after I got drunk and ruined our night."

He put his fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so I was looking at him instead of his chest. "Hey. You didn't ruin anything. We have another night to go, and I wanted you to have a good time this weekend. You had a good time last night."

It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. "Yeah. I've never let loose like that."

"No. You've spent most of your teen years taking care of your family. You deserved a night like last night. I only wish it didn't make you feel so awful this morning." He stroked his fingers through my hair, which felt like heaven mixed with the hell inside me.

"I'll be okay. I probably need to sleep more."

"After you eat something. I wasn't sure what kind of person you'd be the morning after getting drunk, so I ordered a few different things from room service."

"You are all that is right and good in my world," I muttered. He laughed, and I felt it vibrate through my head, which wasn't good. I groaned and rolled away from him, burying my head in the pillow.

Edward was still laughing at me when some evil being knocked on the door. "Make them go away," I begged as I felt the bed move. I heard voices ,and then I felt his presence in front of me.

"Breakfast is here."

Right. I should have something. I sat up and eyed the covered dishes in front of me. I couldn't tell if the stomach roll I had in reaction to the smell of food was a good or bad thing.

"Now, when I'm hungover, I always like something greasy the next day." Edward lifted the lid, and I gagged at the sight of my normal favorite bacon, cheese, and mushroom omelet. Edward quickly whisked that away and opened the next one.

"Toast. I can do toast I think. Bless you," I told him. I took a slice and nibbled.

Edward grinned. "Good. And there's some fruit here, too. Eat if you can. I'm going to take the omelet over there and eat so I don't set you off."

Probably a good plan. He was so smart, along with being sweet and understanding and just plain awesome.

"I love you," I told him.

"I love you, too."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. Well, he ate while I took tiny bites of toast. My stomach tightened but didn't revolt, so I was counting that as a win. If I had to puke, I planned on doing it when he was gone, which…wait.

"What time is it?" I asked, because the room was filled with light despite the curtains being closed.

"It's ten."

"When are you supposed to go skiing?" I asked as Edward put the lid over his plate and left it on the little table he'd eaten at.

"In about half an hour, but I don't need to go. I'm going to stay here and make sure you're okay."

Like hell. I'd already ruined his night, no matter what he said. I wasn't taking his skiing away from him.

"You should go. I'm going to go back to sleep for a few hours, and then I'm going to find Angela and kill her."

Edward laughed as he sat back down next to me. "You'd feel bad if you murdered her."

"Not today, I wouldn't."

"Okay, but if you killed her, Ben would be sad and clingy. We wouldn't get any alone time, and I wouldn't be able to deflower you."

What? What? "What did you just say?" I asked, because Edward had just mentioned deflowering me. What on earth made him think of that word?

Edward grinned at me. "Last night, you tried to get me to deflower you. And you used that word. I had to ask you not to because, well, it's just wrong." He wrinkled up his nose in what would have been an adorable way had I not been horrified that I'd apparently used the word deflowered when I tried to get him to have sex with me.

"And you still think I don't need to kill Angela? I asked you to deflower me!"

Edward snickered as he pulled me back into his arms. "It was funny and cute, and yeah, a little frustrating because I couldn't do what you wanted. Thankfully you fell asleep while you were waiting for me to give you more tingles."

God. I wanted to die, but not without having sex with Edward, even though he was telling me things that made me want to die. It was all very confusing.

"Must you tell me every terrible thing I said?" I asked, burying my face in his neck. God. He still smelled good, even when I felt like crap. It wasn't fair.

"Yes, because those things were not terrible. They were adorable and totally Bella, the girl I love."

I sighed as he rubbed my back. He was too good to me. And I needed to be good to him.

"I love you, too. So you need to go skiing." I removed my head from his comfy neck and looked up at him. "Please, I want you to have some fun while I'm recovering. I promise I'll be back to normal when you get back, and I'll make last night up to you."

He frowned. "Are you sure? Because I'd rather stay here and make sure you're okay."

"And watch me sleep like a creeper? How is that going to help anyone?" I poked his side. "Seriously. Go and have some fun. I'll sleep, hopefully eat something more substantial when I feel better, and then find Angela and yell at her. I won't kill her." Only because getting arrested would delay sex with Edward even more. That was just unacceptable.

"You promise me you'll sleep and eat?"

And shower and shave and make myself presentable for him tonight. "Yes. I swear. I'm going to be crappy company for most of the day, Edward. Please, go and have a good time. I need you to do that so I feel better about last night."

He shook his head before kissing me on the forehead. "You have nothing to make up to me. I had a good time last night, and I know I'm going to have a good time tonight and tomorrow and every other day with you. I'm only going because I want you to rest and I doubt you will if I stay."

He was right about that. I'd harass him until he left. "Good."

"Okay. I'm not taking my phone with me because I'd have nowhere good to put it. But if you need anything at all, call the front desk and ask for it, okay?"

"I will." I kissed his cheek because I had a feeling my breath smelled like I felt. No need to turn the boy off before I had him tonight.

"Okay. Sleep well, baby."

"I will." I closed my eyes as he pulled the covers back over me. I knew I needed to get up to pee soon but I didn't want to move. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

I heard him rustle around for a few minutes getting his ski stuff, and then the door closed quietly. Good. Hopefully he had some fun now, and then we'd have fun together later. I was determined not to ruin it tonight. Edward Cullen was going to be mine in every way.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

It was after one when I woke up again, and I did feel marginally better. A shower made me feel almost human. I wasn't ready to attempt eating much, so I ate a little more of my dry toast, figuring it was toast so sitting out for a few hours probably didn't hurt anything.

While I was eating, I sent Angela a text.

I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns. We are no longer friends.

The fact that my text actually made me laugh showed me that I was on the mend a little bit.

Bitch, please. You couldn't hate me if you tried. Get your drunk ass to my room. Eric's here and we have ginger ale.

Oh, that sounded wonderful.

I'm not drunk anymore, NO THANKS TO YOU. I'll be there in a few.

I headed down to Ang's room a few minutes later, and Eric answered her door looking energetic and happy and not at all like I felt.

"Beautiful Bella!" He hugged me gently. "Please tell me that gorgeous man of yours took good care of you last night."

I groaned at the memory. "If you mean gave me drugs and water and put me to bed, then yes. If you mean sexed me up all night long, no, he did not, because Angela is evil."

"I am not!" she protested.

I felt some satisfaction when I saw that she had a washcloth across her forehead and eyes. At least I wasn't the only one who felt like crap today.

"Yes, you are." I flopped down on the bed next to her, laughing lightly when she groaned. Good. It was only right.

"Sounds like I missed some party," Eric said, sitting next to me.

"It was fun, until it wasn't," Angela muttered. She lifted her washcloth and glared at me. "I puked in front of Ben. I was that girl that I hate."

At least I hadn't thrown up. I'd just word vomited all over Edward instead. Which was worse?

"I tried to get Edward to deflower me. And I used the word deflower to do it."

That set Eric off. He laughed so hard that I was afraid he was going to fall off the bed. I grabbed his arm just in case. Angela laughed and winced when she did. Good. She deserved a little pain.

"Oh my God, what did I do with myself before you girls came into my life? It was so dull and colorless without you. Deflowering!" And he was off again.

I let go of his arm and pushed him instead, but that only succeeded in making the bed bounce and Angela groan again.

"Shut up," I told Eric but without any heat because I was glad he'd gotten my letter and become my friend. Two of the five letters had struck pure gold for me.

"I can't help it, beauty. You're too cute, all hungover and angry because you didn't get Cullen's cock." He patted my knee. "Not that I blame you, because if I had a shot at that and couldn't perform due to drunkenness, I'd be pissed as hell, too."

Damn it. I was pissed at myself. Why had I drunk anything at all? One beer should have sufficed.

"It was that stupid punch."

"The punch," Angela moaned. "I hate that fucking punch. We need to find whoever made it and do awful things to them. It was probably Mike Newton, right? It was his party, after all. I'll write 'I have a small penis' on his forehead, and I'll draw said small penis. And then Bella can knee him in that small penis, because she's good at that. If you can find it, that is?" Angela giggled and then grabbed her head. "Damn it, laughing hurts."

"Drink more ale, beauty," Eric told her, handing her some ginger ale. He gave me a glass as well.

"Thanks." I took a sip, and the bubbles felt heavenly in my throat. "Okay, hurting Newton could be fun, but you guys, I need to feel better ASAP. I'm not waiting another night to be with Edward. He was awesome and understanding as always last night and this morning, but damn it. I want him. I need to be one hundred percent by the time he gets back from his trip."

Eric clapped his hands. "That's my girl! You are going to get that boy, and I'm going to get a full report on it tomorrow."

I raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged. "A photo? Video wouldn't hurt…"

Like hell. Nobody was going to see Edward and me having sexy times but the two of us.

"Fine. No video. And you've come to the right man. I have the cure for what ails you. I'll be right back!" And Eric was off.

"I love him," Angela said. "But I kind of hate him right now, too."

I had to laugh. "I pretty much said the same thing about you."

She sighed and looked up at me from her prone position on her bed. "I really am sorry. I had no idea the punch was that strong. I just wanted us to have a little fun and for you to relax a little before you went for it with Edward. You should hate me."

Damn it. As if that was possible. I lay next to Ang and rested my head against hers. "You were right. I can't hate you. And I didn't exactly say no when you gave me the drink. Or when we decided to play quarters." Quarters. I hated quarters.

"Quarters sucks," Angela said, showing as usual that we were on the same wavelength. "After we draw on Mike Newton and you knee him, we should shove his stupid quarters up his ass."

Ew. "No thank you. I don't want to go near Mike Newton's ass." Now, Edward's on the other hand…

"Good point. Where in the hell did Eric go?"

I had no idea. But sleep was seeming like a good idea again. Man, drinking made me useless the next day. Good to know. It was good thing I wasn't at home, or Dad would figure out pretty quickly that something was wrong with me.

"Get up, my girls. Eric has the cure for what ails you."

I sat up, interested to see what he was wheeling in on a room service tray. "What is that?"

"Hangover foods. We've got your bananas, your oatmeal, your watermelon, Greek yogurt… There are other things, but these were the most appetizing. Get eating, sweets. I also have Gatorade to help give you back some electrolytes. We're going to have you in tip-top shape in no time."

I was kind of hungry, so I took a banana. "Thanks, Eric."

"No problem. I want my girls to enjoy this weekend. It's supposed to be full of debauchery and drunkenness. You've already had one of those, but you need the good stuff now."

He was so great. "What about your debauchery?"

Eric laughed. "Why, Bella Swan, are you asking about my sex life?"

Shit. Was that bad? "Well…"

"I love it. And I love you for it." He gave me a smacking kiss on my cheek. "I get my fair share of debauchery, my dear. Forks may not be a gay mecca, but there quite a few closeted young men in our school. Luckily for them, I don't mind being a dirty little secret."

Oh! But that was kind of sad. "You shouldn't be anyone's secret, Eric."

Eric hugged me to him. "You're a sweetheart, Bella. Not everyone is as open about who they are as I am, and it's not my place to out anyone or make them come out to be with me. High school is hard enough without that. I'm comfortable in who I am, and in a year and a half I'll be out of this little town and I'll date then."

"You deserve better," I told him, and I meant it. Eric was truly an amazing person.

"I got better. I got you two and your gorgeous boys, and none of you mind me ogling them and living vicariously through you." He kissed my cheek and squeezed the hand that Angela threw over me to give him.

"We love you," Ang told him, and I echoed her sentiment.

"And I love you girls, too. Now eat up and drink up and get yourselves together. I can't be the only one of us to get good dick this weekend."

I choked on the sip of Gatorade I'd just taken. "Jesus, Eric!"

He laughed as he patted my back. "Well, it's true! And you need it too, girl."

I sighed. I did need it. I needed Edward so badly. These past few months had been incredible foreplay on both my body and my heart. I wanted more. "Give me that oatmeal."

Eric hooted. "That's my girl! Let's do this!"

And several hours later, when Edward texted that he was back, I was ready. It was finally time.

A/N I love Eric. And Angela. And Bella. And of course Edward (goes without saying really) Hope you enjoyed a little hangover bonding/combatting. Had to get Bella into shape for her guy! She's ready to go :)