Herbs 37

"This is hopeless!"

Somewhere in a dark forest, with no sunlight, a brown pelted tom angrily clawed the ground. This was not what he expected. He thought he'd have had Thornclaw under his control by now. All those hours practicing to be nice, wasted! He promised Dark Forest that Thornclaw would have been a valuable asset to them. Helped create chaos within the clans.

But no! He had to play the loyal and stubborn warrior!

Brokentail growled softly. "I'll get him," he snarled. "I'll make sure he knows that no one, NO ONE, gets away from Brokentail..."

"What about Jayfeather?" Darkstripe asked, padding next to him.

Brokentail cuffed him over the head.

***LinE***

"I'm telling you, Spottedleaf was the cause of Firestar's condition!" Yellowfang argued.

Bluestar shook her head. The gray she-cat looked tired and exasperative, her tail flicking from side to side behind her. "Yellowfang, I'm sorry, but I can't see how she could have done this. Why would Firestar give up and accept death? And why would Spottdleaf do this now, during ThunderClan's crucial moment?"

Yellowfang hesitated. She turned her head away.

Bluestar sighed. She looked as if she was trying to calm herself. "Yellowfang, if you have something to say, say it. I can't guarantee if it'll help, but it's obvious to me you're keeping something important."

Jayfeather watched quietly over a bush, making well sure they couldn't see him. The medicine cat had decided that for the sake of relieving his trouble mind, he would visit StarClan for some answers. Making sure everyone was tended to, and shaking off Thornclaw by the medicine cats den, Jayfeather had curled up in his moss nest and fell asleep. Awake in StarClan, he walked around for sometime until he spotted Yellowfang and Bluestar talking, alone. And so far his suspicions were right as he watched them converse.

"Yellowfang," Bluestar repeated testily.

"I... overheard Spottedleaf talking to Thornclaw," the gray she-cat muttered quietly.

"Thornclaw?" The blue-gray she-cat's eyes widened. "Of ThunderClan?"

Yellowfang nodded.

"Are you sure?"

Another nod. "Forgive me Bluestar. I know you trust Spottedleaf. I did too. But ever since Jayfeather let slip about... something important... to her, I saw something in her eyes. I had my suspicions and kept a closer watch on her ever since."

"Of course you have," muttered a voice next to Jayfeather. He turned, confused. And leaped back in shock to find a beautiful tortoise-shell she-cat. She was glaring over the bush as Yellowfang and Bluestar continued to chat quietly.

"Spottedleaf!" Jayfeather gasped. How long had she been standing there? And without his notice?

Spottedleaf ignored him. She crouched, tail wrapped around her paws. Her sights were set on Yellowfang and Bluestar with narrowed eyes as she listened to them converse. The two cats finally turned and left, leaving Jayfeather alone with the StarClan she-cat.

Spottedleaf finally turned her amber eyes to the gray tabby. "Yes?"

Jayfeather furrowed his eyebrows and concentrated. What was she hiding?

He found with some surprise that he couldn't dive into her mind. No inner thoughts, visual dreams, emotions, nothing. Just gray fog. Was she holding up a wall to block him off?

He blinked. "I know what you tried to do."

She angled her ears forward, still crouched. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb!" Jayfeather snapped. "You heard Yellowfang. I know you tried to get Firestar killed!"

Spottedleaf didn't move a muscle. But her eyes took on a glint.

"You tried to convince Firestar to drown himself, didn't you?"

"What makes you say that?"

"I have my ways. What I want to know is why?" Jayfeather demanded. "Why now?"

Spottedleaf blinked placidly, staring at him wordlessly. It was really beginning to irritate the gray tabby.

"I don't know how you did it, but ever since his near death experience, he's been distant around everyone lately. And he always mutters your name in his sleep."

"He does?" Spottedleaf stood upright. She looked happy, her eyes wild with excitement. "What has he said about me?"

Jayfeather blinked in surprise. "What has he said about...? Listen!" he snarled. "Have you forgotten that we are at war with Dark Forest? You shouldn't be trying to convince Firsetar to kill himself while ThunderClan needs him most!"

But Spottedleaf was a step ahead of him with a readied answer. "But StarClan needs all the moral support they can muster," she replied smoothly. "They are the ones Dark Forest will gain revenge upon. If Firestar were to die, he'd help fight back. A repeat of Tigerstar attempting to take over the Forest."

She drew a tongue over her paw, grooming her face. Jayfeather couldn't believe she would act this casual after nearly killing a cat. "You heard the stories: it was because of Firestar the Clans were given the courage to fight back. That was what led to Tigerstar and BloodClan's defeat."

She paused in mid-lick. "And it'll be Firestar in StarClan who will provide the confidence and courage StarClan needs to fight back."

"But ThunderClan-"

"Can do well without him," Spottedleaf interrupted with a shrug. "They've lived this long. Have confidence in your Clan; they will prove very well in strength when times are dark."

"Times are already dark now," Jayfeather reminded her. "You're blinded by love!" And with that he turned and marched away, intent to find Yellowfang. Maybe she could help straighten this out. True, he was still angry that he found out she had a son even though she was a medicine cat. But he felt she was better to converse with than Spottedleaf at the moment.

"Jayfeather."

He turned. Spottedleaf was sitting up, her eyes boring into his own. "Remember this: when times are tough, love conquers all hate and malice."

"..." Jayfeather turned and wordlessly left the she-cat.

***LinE***

"Look, Thornclaw, look what I can do!" Smokekit squeaked. He grabbed a piece of feather in his jaws and tossed it in he air. It fluttered back down softly. He made to grab it, but Icekit beat him to it.

The featherless tortoiseshell kit landed on paws. "Hey, that's mine!"

Icekit turned her nose away. "Too bad!"

Smokekit tackled his sister. "I saw it first!"

The kits scuffled, messing up the nest. Thornclaw sighed, separating them with a paw. "That's enough, you two. Daisy's trying to sleep. And you'll wake Pricklekit." He was currently laying on the same nest next to Daisy and the kits, as there was no other way to spend time with them in the Leaf-bare weather except in the nursery.

Ferncloud had answered Thornclaw's knock and, despite his small outrage with Jayfeather, agreed to let him see the kits. Though the sacrifice was the gray speckled she-cat was watching the golden tom like a hawk, hardly taking her eyes off them.

The kits, meanwhile, were more than happy to see Thornclaw again. And he was relieved to see Daisy began eating again, if only for Pricklekit's sake after she learned form Jayfeather that starving herself was only making the kit even more worse off. She mostly ignored Thornclaw when he came in, except sniff him warily and, like Ferncloud, watch him intently as he spent time with the kits.

But then she began to relax, and silently allowed him to even lay next to her as he played with them. It was too cold to take them out, so the nursery would have to do.

Pricklekit, Thornclaw learned, was not doing well at all. He hardly left his mother's side. He'd cough every now and then, his small body shaking with each rack. Daisy never left his side. She'd nuzzle him every now and then whenever he fidgeted, and whispered soothing words to quiet his mews of distress.

Her whole time was devoted to keeping Pricklekit comfortable that it was left up to Thornclaw to spend time with Icekit and Smokekit. Which they didn't have a problem with. And Daisy didn't mind that he was laying next to her. She even fell asleep with Pricklekit at some point.

Thornclaw looked over at the golden kit. His small flank was rising and falling quickly next to Daisy's slow and steady breathes. He was too distracted to have noticed Icekit climbing on top of him. With unsheathed claws.

"Ow!"

"Sshh!" Ferncloud hissed.

Thornclaw gingerly pulled Icekit off his back. "What did I tell you about claws sheathed?" he scolded.

"Sorry!" That seemed to be her word of the day.

Thornclaw looked over at Pricklekit again. And noticed Daisy awake.

Her head was laying on one of her paws, eyes watching Icekit and Smokekit as they played with Thornclaw's paw. She shifted her gaze to the golden tom. They looked dull and uninterested as he stared into them. As quickly as it came she broke contact, tucking her head in her paw and slept again.

She really needed to do more than sleep all day, Thornclaw thought with a shake of his head. Just sitting around camp eating and sleeping all day was not the way to go. But he didn't say anything as he lay his head on his paw, watching the kits as they climbed on his back.

((_endpage_))

He felt someone prod him on the side. Thornclaw mumbled, turning his head away.

The prod came again, more insistent, digging into his ribs. He pushed it away. Couldn't they see he was sleeping?

"Thornclaw," he head someone whisper.

The golden tom opened one eye sleepily, muttering under his breathe about the rudeness of waking another cat. It was dark in the nursery, with only the half moon glowing down to give him any sort of visual. Someone was standing over him, prodding his side with a paw. Thornclaw focused his gaze.

"Daisy?" he muttered, squinting. "What do you want?"

Daisy put a tail to his mouth to quiet him. She pointed her nose at his side. The kits were sleeping next to him, snuggling on his fur. This was the longest time he ever saw them sit still. And it only took sleep for that to happen.

Thornclaw blinked down at them, his mind sluggishly moving forward. When did they fall asleep so fast? He had only closed his eyes for a second.

He looked up at the she-cat. "Was I sleeping?" he asked stupidly.

Daisy didn't answer. "Can I talk to you?" she asked quietly.

"Now?" Thornclaw rubbed his eyes with his tail. It was late, and he was still tired. Why was it now she wanted to talk? "Can this wait until morning Daisy?" he yawned.

Daisy lowered her head quietly. " I suppose," she muttered to the ground. She looked almost apprehensive to the tom.

Thornclaw sighed in defeat. He murmured something intangibly as he stood, careful not to wake any of the kits. "Alright, what is it?"

But Daisy was shaking her head. "Outside."

Thornclaw raised his eyebrows. "What about Pricklekit?" She pointed her tail on the other side of the nursery. Thornclaw could make out the dark speckled cat of Ferncloud. She had her head low, nuzzling something small beside her: Pricklekit. She nodded to Daisy, easing the creamy she-cat.

Thornclaw didn't miss the look Ferncloud wore. But she didn't say nothing as she began to soothe the now waking Pricklekit.

He shrugged in defeat. The sooner they got this done, the closer he came to going to sleep.

He jerked his head and led the quietly following Daisy outside the nursery. It was dark outside, with the three quarters moon shining down to provide some form of light. Thornclaw flinched as a snowflake landed on his nose. It was cold!

It's white flakes fell from the sky in the hundreds, like feathers streaming around camp. Some last minute cats were sharing tongues, hiding under the large branches of the tree for cover, or for Cinderheart's case bidding Ivypaw good-night as they left to their respective dens. Thankfully, she didn't spot the tom.

Cloudtail and Blossomfall could be seen leaving ThunderClan, the white tom almost camouflaged in the stark whiteness of snow around them: night guards for tonight. Brambleclaw spoke with a few cats next to the High Ledge. Probably giving them duties for tomorrow, Thornclaw figured

Brambleclaw's whiskers twitched and he looked over at Thornclaw as he passed with Daisy, suspicion in his gaze. Thornclaw glared, not allowing the tom to keep him down. Brambleclaw turned his back to the golden tom to address a question one of the cats asked.

Besides that, there was no problem as Thornclaw made his way straight to the fresh-kill pile and dug out a shrew for a late snack. Daisy sat tentatively beside him, watching quietly as he ate. She shook her head when he asked if he wanted some. She instead grabbed a twig next to her, twiddling it back and forth on the snow. Watching as it made shapes on the thin sheet of snow.

An uneasy silence settled over the two. Thornclaw ate mechanically as he waited. Daisy continued to play with her twig as she attempted to summon up the courage to say what she wanted to say. She took a deep breathe.

"Thornclaw..." Daisy looked up. "I'm so sorry."

Thornclaw tipped his head to one side. "About what?" asked the tom suspiciously. He continued to devour his shrew. But the action was just to give him to do something to do with his paws and jaws while he listened.

The snow fell softly on their shoulders. But Daisy hardly noticed. "Please. Whatever you may think of me, don't judge the kits in this."

Thornclaw didn't answer, but he was now staring at Daisy, his meal forgotten. Daisy's mood was really beginning to make him feel uncomfortable. She was trying to tell him something, something that had to be very important for her to be acting this way. He didn't think he wanted to know, so he didn't encourage her.

Daisy looked around. Icekit and Smokekit padded outside the nursery, mewing for their mother. They found her and began to trek through the snow to her. Ferncloud appeared not a second later to usher them back inside. She nodded to Daisy, reassuring the creamy she-cat she had things under control. Daisy nodded gratefully before sitting back down.

"... let's talk outside," Thornclaw sighed. He finally came to the conclusion that whatever she wanted to tell him was for his ears only, and no one else. Daisy squeaked a bit at the thought of leaving ThunderClan while out in the snow. But she kept her jaw shut and merely nodded. Thornclaw was now more curious than ever what Daisy wanted to tell him, yet dreaded it all the same.

They padded out in the snow, past Cloudtail and Blossomfall, the soft white flakes falling on their pelts. There was a small incline on one side of their path, where thick tree roots grew out of the sides. Thornclaw remembered teaching Poppyfrost―Poppypaw then―how to use the roots as advantages to hide in if she was ever cornered by a fox or badger. The roots where thick enough that predators couldn't get through, and the entrances small enough for only a cat to squeeze inside.

Thornclaw now padded down the small incline and ducked under the thick tree roots. They were also helpful as shelter to avoid the weather. He moved aside for Daisy to make her way inside as well. Though it was still cold, escaping the falling snow was better than nothing. And roots prevented the cold draft from invading their small shelter.

Thornclaw exhaled a plume of frigid air and suppressed a shiver. He waited, looking expectantly at the she-cat before him.

Daisy fidgeted, still avoiding Thornclaw's eyes. "I'm so sorry―"

"You already said that," he interrupted. "It doesn't make sense to apologize unless I know what it is."

He immediately took back what he said. A cat was supposed to be patient when someone is trying to tell them something important, right?

Daisy didn't appear to be fazed. "I just wasn't thinking clearly when I did it―"

"Did what?"

"—and I never thought it'd go this far. I mean, I have been thinking about it, so I should have known―"

"Known what?"

"—and now I've made everything worse! And...and I'm just so scared," she mewed softly. "I don't know what to do, but I feel so guilty and I've been having nightmares about it constantly ever since."

Thornclaw bit back the retort that almost escaped his tongue. He instead reluctantly touched pelts with Daisy to calm the she-cat. She shuddered from his touch, but didn't pull away. For a while the two Clan cats just stood that way, Thornclaw supporting Daisy as she had her head buried in his shoulder, sharing their warmth against the cold.

Suddenly she pushed away from him, though reluctance shown in her blue eyes. "... tell everyone I'm sorry."

Thornclaw frowned, his heart beating rather painfully on his ribs. Something was wrong, he could feel it like a tick on his ear. "Sorry for what?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Daisy didn't answer right away. Finally, ever since they arrived by the tree roots, she looked up into his eyes. The creamy she-cat just sat there, absorbing every detail in front of her. Thornclaw was suddenly reminded heavily of the same stare Hazeltail gave him. And it didn't help that this was the mother with the same build.

Except with the snow covering most of the sun, her pelt looked much darker than normal.

He blinked

Daisy's blue eyes twitched. She looked away and took a deep breathe. "Tell them I'm sorry," she muttered quietly. "For killing Icecloud.

Be honest, who knew 100% that it was Daisy? There were doubts among you, but who knew COMPLETELY with the clues I've sneaked in throughout the story that it was Daisy the entire time? If you knew, congratulations! If you didn't, now you do =3