Jedi Kasumi
By Jim Robert Bader
(Featuring characters and situations created by George Lucas and Rumiko Takahashi. This is purely a work of fiction and is not intended to compromise the copyrights of any other creative persons. I have nothing worth suing me for, so please be gentle...)
Episode Thirty-Six.
Twisted
As the match resumes between Jedi/Sith and Golden Pair Ukyo and Shampoo prepare to trump Mikado Senzenen and Shiratori Azusa at the sport at which the pair excel, unaware that the true danger lays elswhere within the sporting arena...
Darth Purge has positioned himself in the rafters overlooking the audience bleachers where Trieste and the Tendo clan sit watching the match and rooting for the young Force Masters, unaware that death may soon await them...
Only the young apprenticed Force Wizard, Hikaru Gosunkuji,
has any sense of the foreboding danger and is rushing to the aid of his new Sensei with the in the company of Ryonami, a friend of recent acquaintance...
Meanwhile Akane and her unwilling fianc e,
Kodachi, are guiding a drugged and somewhat addled Ryoga to the floor of the skating arena in hopes of lending their support to Ukyo, and out of the very real fear that Pantyhose Taro intends black mischief for the former Sith apprentice...
"You heard me, Jackass," Ukyo declared in cold fury, "You try and lay a hand on Shampoo and I'll mess you up real bad."
Taro heard this declaration and paused in the act of positioning himself underneath the bleachers, turning his head in the general direction where he sensed his fellow Sith adept's presence and giving her the sort of askance look that as much as said that she had confirmed long-held suspicions.
"Figures," he remarked, "Always thought you bent that way, Kuonji, but...I guess if you're gonna turn Lezzie it might as well be for that hot little number you got there. Wouldn't mind a poke or two at her ass myself...right before I tear her pretty head off and mount it on my wall for a trophy."
He had long resented Ukyo's position as the senior apprentice to their mutual master, Darth Purge, the more so as Kuonji had never passed up an opportunity to rub his nose in it and make him feel small in one sense or the other. Taro had long fought to maintain an image of himself as a rather cool player, and he was confident that his manly charms could woo the ladies to his side...were it not for his embarrassing name problem. And yet Ukyo had a way of making him feel somehow less manly (for all that she was more of a man than, say, a clueless dweeb like Ryoga).
"Frail oughta know her place," he grumbled to himself, cracking his knuckles as he anticipated his long-awaited payback for the continuous insults and slights that he had recieved by that cross-dressing rug muncher. He had only to wait for Purge to relay his signal and then Taro would go into action seeing to it that Kuonji was put in her place once and forever.
Of course the thought of getting two birds for the price of one diversion was certainly exciting enough, and this Shampoo character had a lot to recommend her for the role of joint victim. A Force Adept with ties to the Jedi, she would probably make for an interesting challenge in a straight fight, but once he had her down and at his mercy...then the fun would really get started. He bared his teeth in an eager grin as he considered the things he might do with her before she was wasted, right after he got even with Kuonji...assuming there was anything left of her when this other character, Senzenen Mikado, really got going...
He listened in as Mikado said, "How absurd...you think to deny me the lips of your fair companion? I think you suffer too much from delusions of grandeur."
"Look who's talking," Ukyo made her own knuckle-cracking gesture as she refused to let herself be psyched by such a self-centered fop, "Let's do this now before you bore me to death, Creep. Sham-chan and me are ready for anything you've got up your sleeve, right Sugar?"
"Aiyaa?" Shampoo replied with her eyes fully upon Ukyo and not Senzenen, "Ah...hai...this one is prepared to do her part...Ucchan."
"Then let's start cracking heads and taking numbers," Ukyo declared while spurring herself on, using her skates to generate speed for a charge directly at the pair of golden antagonists before them, Shampoo somewhat reluctantly falling into step behind her.
"About time you took things serious," Senzenen remarked as he prepared to meet Ukyo part-way, "Azusa...time for you to play your part."
"Right, Miki-chan," the curly brown haired skater beside him grinned, then without further need for communication with her partner she leaped up onto his shoulder and positioned herself with her knees braced for leverage, even as Senzenen began to skate forward towards the wrathful Kuonji.
Ukyo thought she knew what the pair were about to try and called out, "Sham-
honey, you're up!"
"Aiyaa!" Shampoo acknowledged, and then she sped up and caught up with Ukyo, who reached out an arm and swung the purple haired Force Mistress up to her own shoulder with one knee resting just above the Sith adept's collar bone, Ukyo bracing to launch her friend into the air so that she might counter the aerial attack that Azusa was certain to unleash.
Much to her dismay, however, the pair immediately changed tactics as Senzenen bent down and launched Azusa at a nearly horizontal angle. The brown haired kleptomaniac shot forward as though she had been propelled out of a cannon and got under Ukyo's guard, tripping her up and causing the Sith adept to tumble face-forward into the ice. This had the unfortunate effect of dumping Shampoo into a tumble, which resulted in her being snatched out of the air by an all-
too-expectant Senzenen, who again moved to render her incapable of resisting his advances.
"I have you now, my sweet!" the handsome boy crowed in triumph.
Despite being taken off-guard for the second time in the match, Shampoo recovered enough to smile and say, "No, this one have you!" and immediately bent backward, moving with impossible flexibility to wiggle out of his grasp while freeing her arms so that she might grip him by the lapel even as she felt back towards the ice and could bring her knee up into play.
It was a fortunate thing for Mikado that he wore a cup down there or else the blow might have unmanned him, but as it was he went tumbling forward into a graceless landing that sent him skidding into the nearest wall, which momentarily took him out of commission.
"Ugh...where is that little twerp?" Ukyo growled in angry wrath as she forced herself back up off the ice and into a crouching position, "If I get my hands on her I'll...hey! Sham-chan, what happened to Mikado?"
"Him have bad fall," Shampoo replied with a slightly smug expression, "Obviously he no listen to you and think this one easy prey, but he make mistake when try to kiss me."
"He...what?" Ukyo glared at the fallen Senzenen then growled, "That's it...he's going down permanently this time, and it's no more miss Nice Girl where it comes to his lunatic partner!"
"Miki, are you all right?" Azusa was asking of her semi-comatose partner, "You want take nap before getting up again, leave all the fun to little Azusa?"
"Ah...I'm not beaten yet...just...slightly winded is all," Senzenen declared while forcing himself into an upright sitting position, "She just surprised me is all...must be an even more shy flower than I'd taken her to be."
"Either that or you make her sick," Azusa declared with a smile, then deliberately poked Senzenen in the side and said, "Does that hurt, Miki-chan?"
"Ow!" Senzenen felt as if a knife had stabbed him, "Yes, what are you-OW! Stop that, you little idiot!"
Azusa had jabbed him several more times before recoiling at his angry tone, at once falling back on her "hurt and innocent" look before asking, "Why are you being so mean to little Azusa? She only wanted to know if you were all right, Miki-chan."
"Hiyaa," Shampoo murmured as she witnessed this exchange, "You think maybe him have worst punishment if maybe he stuck with stupid ribbon girl for partner?"
"Somehow I can't feel too much pity for the rat, Sugar," Ukyo scowled, "But let's be careful, these two are treacherous and tricky, and they obviously care nothing about playing fair either."
"And is different for you?" Shampoo asked coyly, "No too long ago you might also think nothing about taking advantage of opponent's trusting nature."
"Yeah, but I was never that much of a heel, Sugar," Ukyo insisted, "And if it's a dirty fight he wants, well...he's about to learn that Sith can play dirtier than any stupid fop and his packrat partner."
"We see on that," Shampoo observed while turning to regard their prospective opponents.
"Oh my," Nodoka Saotome observed as she and her husband eased their way along the benches to link up with the Tendos, "Are we late for the actual march? I'm terribly sorry, but my husband and I had some important business to discuss...and hello, Ranma, my son...are you and your fianc es enjoying the battle?"
"Ah...Mom?" Ranma tore his eyes away from said match to see the beaming expression of his mother as she took in his close proximity between Kasumi and Nabiki.
"Hello, Auntie Nodoka," Nabiki replied with a cool and sardonic expression, adding slyly, "Or should I be calling you mother?"
"Oh my," Kasumi blinked, having to mentally rethink her pending relationship to the Saotome matriarch, and wondering what effect that would have upon her relationship with her real mother, though what she sensed from Kimiko was more amusement than resentment at the notion.
"Are you thinking of adopting my girls for yourself, Nodoka-chan?" Kimiko asked in a light and casual tone as she regarded the other woman.
"Well, I must admit that the prospect is very tempting for me," Nodoka admitted as she and Genma took their place in the seats that had been reserved for them by Soun and the others, "After all, I always wanted a daughter who could share so many interests with me, not that I have any complaint about having such a manly son that your eldest daughters want to marry him together. Oh, and look...aren't those two his other fianc es? What are they doing going up against that nice couple as a skate team?"
"It's a rather...complicated affair," Trieste replied as she gave Genma a sage look that only he could interpret as accusatory, "We would have told you all about it but...there were so many other things that were happening of late it quite escaped our minds, which is why we left it to your husband to make his own explanations."
Genma fairly wilted under the scrutiny of the Jedi Knight Matron, recalling vividly her instructions to run interference and keep Nodoka busy until the match was long concluded. But though he was acknowledged by many as a practiced and accomplished liar, the truth was that he was too much afraid-uh-in awe of Nodoka to dissemble, especially when she was looking him directly in the eye and had her trademark katana within easy reach. Even now she carried it close to hand as a reminder of his many promises towards her, especially the ones he felt compelled to obey for fear of the consequences.
For his part Ranma was the one who was visibly sweating, especially in light of his mother's casual remark about wanting a daughter. As yet he had not come fully clean with her on the subject of Jusenkyo, and the fact that a casual jostle against anyone with a cup full of ice water would be all that it would take to expose his little secret before a woman who still regarded him as "Manly."
Nabiki and Kasumi were far too sensitive to his moods to miss this concern in their mutual boyfriend, and with only a slight glance in which they made brief eye contact they managed to convey a mutual assent that they would work to protect the integrity (not to mention the life) of their intended future husband.
Meanwhile Darth Purge had finally worked himself into the position he was after, poised directly above the heads of the Tendo and Saotome party, and smiling with an open display of teeth as he maintained his "stealth" aura and waited for the right moment in which to strike, which his senses assured him was shortly forthcoming.
Being a patient sort of lizard by nature, he continued to take stock of the match between his former ward and her comely paramour against the upstart Golden Pair, hoping to see a recurrence where Ukyo would again revert to her Dark side training. So far it was looking to be a quite interesting display, and he had high hopes that the impending mayhem would be more than worthy of his expectations.
Also unseen by others an unlikely trio had at last made it to the arena and were now looking on at the match with no little concern, Akane in the lead saying aloud, "Oboy...looks like things started and Ucchan is taking a real beating."
"It's amazing that she is still standing at all," Kodachi remarked, "By reputation I have heard that Senzenen is a quite formidable opponent."
"He'd better not hurt Ucchan...or...or..." Ryoga balled his fists and started to glow with anger.
"Hey, knock it off!" Akane hastily warned, sensing the flaring of the Force within the former Sith adept, "You cut loose like that in this place and somebody could get hurt, meaning us and Ucchan."
"Oh..." Ryoga deliberately made the effort at releasing his grip over his anger, "I...I didn't think of that...I..."
"Why not wait and see where matters progress before we jump to any conclusions?" Kodachi advised, then the three of them looked on in anxious silence as the match renewed and the opponents began taking their measure in genuine earnest.
"It was a mistake for you to wait for me to regain from my inconvenience," Senzenen haughtily declared as he and Azusa prepared to renew their intended onslaught, "Now you will taste the fully fury of the Golden Pair..."
"Don't you ever get tired of talking about yourself, Creep?" Ukyo snarled as she built up momentum and prepared to renew her attack, "I just wanted you in condition when I beat the crap out of you, and unlike you I don't need to take advantage of a weaker opponent."
"That mistake will cost you dearly," Senzenen assured her, then at once Azusa shot past him and moved around behind Ukyo before the Sith apprentice knew it, and like that attacked from the rear, going under and between her legs before Kuonji even knew what she was up to.
All at once Ukyo felt her legs being grabbed and she started to topple forward, prompting Shampoo to rush forward in order to catch her partner, yet once this contact had been established then Senzenen moved in for the kill and grasped Azusa by her own legs, whipping them all off of the ground with a tremendous display of physical prowess.
"HEY!" Ukyo cried without releasing her clasp of Shampoo's arms, which she needed to keep from landing on her face once again, "Leggo of me down there!"
"And now...the Goodbye Whirl!" Senzenen cried before he started to spin around where he stood while whipping the girl-to-girl chain around and around in an increasingly rapid circle.
"Oh my," Kasumi said.
"What the heck...how can he be doing that?" Ranma asked, totally baffled.
"He must know something about the Force himself if he can muster that much energy," Nabiki reasoned.
"Not necessarily," Trieste cautioned, "I sense that he is strong with the Force, but I do not perceive that he has formal training in its proper usage."
"Just the same, I'd say good-bye to your poor buddies," Ursula cautioned, "The Couple Cleaver move is a patented Golden Pair trademark, guaranteed to separate even the most loyal of partnerings since the idea is to make you let go and betray the trust of a commitment."
"How horrible," Kimiko surmised, "It's almost as if that boy delights in breaking up couples."
"Incredible," Soun exclaimed, "They're going even faster...how much longer can Kuonji and Shampoo last under that pressure?"
"I don't know, Tendo-kun," Genma freely admitted, "The centrifugal force alone must be something awful..."
Indeed Ukyo was hard pressed to maintain her hold on Shampoo, and she could even feel the pressure of their grip gradually slipping, but rather than give into the pain and the pressure she grit her teeth hard and held on as tightly as she could manage.
"What you doing?" Shampoo gasped, the rush of wind making speech difficult and breathing a real effort, "Let this one go before you hurt you self, Ucchan!"
"NO!" Ukyo snarled as she summoned up the will to prevail, "I ain't gonna let go...you'd be hurt if I let it happen!"
"This one can manage," Shampoo tried to reassure the former Sith, "She can use the Force to cushion landing..."
"Ain't gonna happen," Ukyo declared, showing off more of her feral nature, "This creep ain't got me licked yet..." and then she summoned up her power from within and began to channel the Force, willing it to flow through her and into Shampoo, thus canceling out the immanent danger of further slippage.
"You try valiantly to resist," Senzenen remarked, "Yet the longer you delay the inevitable the worse will be the sense of betrayal when you release her."
Ukyo knew that she could not hold up to the pressure indefinitely, but a plan began to hatch in her mind and she started to draw more upon the force not to slow down their speed but rather to further increase it.
As expected this caused Azusa no end of alarm and frustration, for her own slender form was far less up to the strain than either the Chef or their respective partners. With a queasy gulp of, "Azusa...does not...feel so...good..." she all at once let go of Ukyo's legs and sent the chef flying with her Amazon partner.
So far her plan had worked as intended, but Ukyo instantly detected the flaw in the ointment, sensing that the momentum at which she and Shampoo had been released was such that they were flying at the distant wall with greater force than previously expected. With no time left to plan another tactic, she at once drew the purple haired Amazon into her arms and then flipped herself around even as she summoned up the Force and projected a Force-bubble. She barely got this erected in time when she and Shampoo slammed into the wall with the same force that a hurricane might apply to leaf, and so great was the kinetic impact that even her protective forcefield could do little more than diminish the bone-
jarring effect that this created.
"Ucchan!" Ranma was on his feet and ready to leap into the arena when Nabiki and Kasumi simultaneously acted to restrain him.
"Hold your horses, Wild Horse!" Nabiki cried, making a play upon his name in order to reach him through the focus of his concern for his wounded childhood companion.
"You're not equipped to go out there, Ranma-kun," Kasumi reassured him, "You wouldn't be able to stand upright without skates..."
"I don't care, I've gotta go help Ucchan!" Ranma insisted, even though he knew perfectly well that his iinazuke were only speaking reason.
"Calm yourself and do not be ensnared by your own emotions," Trieste's voice reached his mind even as he felt something like a "stroking" of his nerves put a damper on his fear and anger, "I sense that Kuonji was hurt badly by the crash, yet she still lives, and so does Shampoo. They are not yet completely out of the fight as Senzenen has badly underestimated his rival."
Despite himself Taro looked on with surprising concern at where Kuonji had landed (which-ironically enough-was very close to the point beneath the bleachers where he was in concealment. It was not-however-the sort of feeling that one might have at the fall of a former teammate, rather he whispered the true source of his dismay, "Don't die yet, Kuonji-san...I wanted to be the one who offed you."
"Ucchan!" Akane cried from where she and Kodachi were positioned near the entry gate to the arena.
"Ukyo...no..." Ryoga murmured in horror, falling to his knees while gripping the edge of the door archway.
"She took that blow to protect the other one from injury," Kodachi softly marveled, "Truly there must be more to Kuonji-san than I have previously expected...such a noble deed is worthy of a samurai. I think we should all respect her better for her sacrifice..."
"She's not dead yet," Akane insisted, hoping that those feeble life readings she made out were valid, "She and Sham-chan have to be all right...if not, then I'm gonna make that Senzenen guy hurt where it really matters."
Kodachi hesitated a moment then said, "You mean that...truly?"
"Huh?" Akane looked at her in confusion.
"About wishing to avenge the injury your friends have just suffered," Kodachi mused as she considered the point carefully, glancing at Senzenen, then at Ryoga, and slowly smiling in a way that was calculated and crafty, "Perhaps...yes, there might be a way at that. After all, if the technique could work for Kuonji-san, then surely another might put it to just as good a usage."
"What are you talking about, Kodachi?" Akane asked, then blinked as her senses perceived the image that was in her iinazuke's mind and she responded, "You've gotta be kidding!"
"I am quite serious," Kodachi assured the other girl, "And three years of drama class should prove sufficient for me to effect the role quite handsomely...or didn't you know that at an all girl schools we had to improvise, and I happen to have won the role of an excellent Hamlet. Come, let us make haste, there is little time for us to get ourselves ready..."
Heedless of the fact that his two lady companions were heading back in the direction of the school lockers, Ryoga remained where he was kneeling while balling his fists in growing rage, snarling to himself, "Senzenen...you are a dead man!"
Unaware of these threats posed towards his future health and safety, Senzenen was only just then recovering from the dizziness that he had unaccountably suffered when his famous technique had gone awry and nearly caused him to screw himself into the ice, his blades having gouged out a bowl-sized crater. With one hand to his head to keep it from wobbling upon his neck he turned and found the his foes still sprawled out flat upon the ice. It took a moment for him to put it all together, but then he spoke in a slightly stunned voice, "He never let go? The fool actually clung to her all of the way?"
"Ooohhh...little Azusa feels funny," his partner stammered, looking quite unsteady herself upon her skates, "Why you spin little Azusa so fast, Miki? Were you trying to hurt both of them while making little Azusa feel sick?"
"Believe me, I never intended to use quite that much force in my spin," Senzenen replied as he righted himself and gazed at their fallen opponents, "It was my intention to force Kuonji to release his companion, after which I would dispose of him in the usual way while rushing immediately to her rescue. This is the first time anyone has actually held on without letting go, and I fear it may have cost them both quite dearly, for if he had not proven to be so stubborn he would not have dragged his fair companion with him when he crashed into the wall. As it is I fear they both are now badly injured..."
A faint groan escaped from Shampoo's lips and she lifted a hand to feel her own head, which was pounding like a gong from shock and reverberation. Being from a rather hard-headed clan, however, she was used to taking a pounding, and by steadying her breathing and taking in deep lungfulls of icy air she was able to calm the rhythms of her pulse while marshaling her resources to speed her recovery as the Force flowed to her rescue.
"Aiyaa..." she softly murmured, "Never again will this one complain of great-
grandmother teaching her Exploding Point technique..."
"Is that a fact?" came the barest whisper at her side, "Think you might...share it with me...sometime...Sugar?"
"Ucchan?" Shampoo suddenly recalled herself and remembered where they were and what had happened. Ignoring the way it caused her temples to renew their throbbing she forced herself to sit up and kneel over her companion, feeling the force of Ukyo's spirit with the lines flowing through her at somewhat diminished levels.
"Ucchan...you is okay?" she gasped, then drew her hand back as she could feel the pain that was wracking the length of the other girl's body, "Aiyaa..."
"Just barely," Ukyo whispered, "Don't know if anything's broken yet...it hurts too much...to check..."
"You...you take blow for this one?" Shampoo looked up and had her worst fears confirmed as she saw the definite imprint created in the wall by the impact of not one but two human bodies, and all at once she said, "Aiyaa...you fool! You no have to do this for Shampoo..."
"Now she tells me," Ukyo breathed, "Sorry...forgot for a moment there...that you have better padding..."
The jest hardly lightened the Amazon's mood, and with a heavy heart Shampoo bent her head and suppressed a sob that threatened to escape her. She had to remain calm, to control the rush of emotions that were flooding through her, but still she could not prevent herself from saying, "You is great idiot...know you not what it means to save life of warrior...and be injured in her place?"
"What?" Ukyo asked, "Don't tell me you've got to marry me or something like that?"
"This is serious, Ucchan," Shampoo insisted, then sighed, "Sometimes this one forgets you outsider girl, know nothing of our customs. Now Shampoo must do what is right...make better what has been broken."
"Huh?" Ukyo murmured, "You're not making sense here...and anyway I need to get some rest...so I can get my strength back..."
"I grieve for your loss."
"Hiyaa?" Shampoo turned in surprise, finding Senzenen standing a short distance from her.
"Kuonji had more spirit than I took him for," the handsome boy replied, "Although it was my intent to deal with him harshly, I never intended for it to go this far. Truly I am sorry and offer what condolences I am able..."
"You stop stupid talk right now," Shampoo scowled, "Is too soon to dance on grave of Ukyo, and Shampoo need to concentrate if she is to do what is needed."
"Eh?" Senzenen clearly was confused at the girl's reaction. Though he had been prepared to hear her rage or react in denial of the obvious, it was quite another thing to see the fierce look of cool determination within the crimson eyes of the purple haired beauty, so rather than press his luck he held his ground and watched as Shampoo proceeded to ignore him altogether.
Instead she spread her hands and held them over Ukyo's body, then closed her eyes and raised her head up towards the heavens, summoning her power as she grew calm and tranquil inside of her innermost being, lowering the resistance of both the mind and ego while allowing her emotions to tap into deep wells of infinite compassion. As her breath became deep and steady she seemed to go into a trance while remaining perfectly motionless, but then her body began to radiate a warmth that caused her aura to glow slightly, and her hands became focal points through which she could channel her energies, reaching out and merging with Ukyo's spirit while allowing the Force to flow easily between them.
"What she doing, Miki?" Azusa asked as she and her partner looked on in speechless wonder.
"I don't really know," Senzenen replied, "Perhaps she is praying to her gods to conduct Kuonji's spirit into the next world..."
Back in the bleacher stands, however, Trieste looked on in amazement, murmuring softly, "Incredible...I had no idea that she was this advanced in her training."
"What's going on?" Soun asked in wonder, "Why is she glowing like that?"
"It feels so warm and comforting," Kimiko observed, "Like it's reflecting her inner beauty..."
"Shampoo," Kasumi said with a gentle smile, "You are worthy of your mother's teaching...she would be proud to see you so, just as I am, my dearest sister."
"You know what she's up to?" Ranma asked.
"I think I know too, Ranma-kun," Nabiki replied, "And unless I miss my mark I'd say our Amazon friend is sharing her own life energies with Kuonji."
"What, you mean like Psychic healing?" Ursula asked, "I've seen it done before, but mostly by fakirs who palm wet cotton balls and pretend they're removing cancer..."
"This is not the same thing...not by any measure," Trieste replied, "What Shampoo is attempting would be difficult for someone well versed in Jedi healing techniques, but I've rarely heard of anyone that young practicing it this boldly."
"How bad is it with Kuonji?" Kimiko inquired.
"Bad enough that without Shampoo's intervention she might well never walk again," Trieste replied, "I only hope her sacrifice is ultimately worth the effort..."
"Sacrifice?" Ranma turned his head so fast that he nearly gave himself a case of whiplash.
"Healing methods of this sort are often double-edged scalpels, Ranma-kun," Kasumi explained, "To heal Ukyo's injuries, Shampoo must first open herself psychically to sharing her pain in order to establish an empathic rapport...and from there the pain will only intensify until they reach a parity between them."
"Yeesh!" Nabiki recoiled, "You aren't kidding about that, Oniichan...I can feel their agony from here, and whatever Kuonji's suffering from is being conveyed directly into Shampoo, whose taking it in like a sponge, including a sympathetic reaction."
Overhead Darth Purge narrowed his eyes into mere slits and studied the activities of the young Force Mistress, sensing the energy flow that connected her with his fallen former pupil. It was much to his own silent amazement that he felt their pain levels climax to a plateau of unimaginable turmoil, only to level off and diminish once again until the two achieved a gestalt, at which point their agony began to diminish altogether.
"Fascinating," he softly hissed, "I had no idea the sow was this talented...I wonder what other surprises she keeps in store for emergencies such as this..."
Taro was even more confused, as puzzled at the notion that Ukyo had deliberately taken the hit for another as he was at the notion that the purple haired "frail" could actually be sucking in the pain of the fallen Kuonji and discharging it within her own already bruised body.
"Man, are those two nuts or something?" he murmured to himself, finding it difficult to grasp the concept of mutual altruism, especially involving someone as moody and obsessive as Kuonji. Try as he might he could not conceive of undergoing such an ordeal to spare the life of someone else, especially one who had been an enemy until very recent.
One minute stretched on into two, and then three, and still the crowd in the arena held their collective breath and waited for something to happen. Then at last Shampoo allowed her shoulders to slump and she started to sag forward, only catching herself before she could sprawl on top of Kuonji, using what was left of her strength of maintain an upright posture as he sighed and said, "This one has done all that she can...now...can you move, Ucchan?"
"Uh...huh?" Ukyo opened her eyes, then-much to her surprise-she pushed up off of the ice and found it much easier to move into an upright sitting posture. She turned to stare at Shampoo with open amazement, then hesitantly asked, "You...did you...?"
Despite the overwhelming fatigue that she was feeling the purple haired Force Mistress still managed a weak smile and replied, "You think someone else heal you? Is special technique learn from mother, much enhanced by Jedi training..."
All at once the Amazon found her strength deserting her, and her eyes refused to remain open, so she began to pitch forward, landing face-down on the partially melted ice before a stunned Ukyo could think to catch her.
"Sugar?" Ukyo gasped, then with greater urgency, "Shampoo! Hey, don't pass out on me now, Sugar..."
"Incredible," Senzenen remarked, "If I had not witnessed it with my own eyes..."
"Azusa is confused, Miki," his partner remarked beside him, "What just happened?"
"Unless I am gravely mistaken," the handsome body remarked, "The fair Shampoo has somehow brought Kuonji-san back from the brink of death by her prayers and the sharing of her own spirit. There must be more to him than I had first surmised or else such a beauteous maiden would never have made such a noble and compassionate effort."
"Sugar...don't go to sleep on me," Ukyo all but pleaded of her partner, lifting Shampoo into her lap and saying, "This is no time to be all noble and heroic...damn you! Don't do this to me! I...I can't...I don't want to..."
All at once a massive roar was heard and all at once Ryoga appeared, bearing down on a surprised Senzenen like a charging Rhino, crying out, "SENZENEN!"
Of course his ill-coordinated attack-greatly enabled by a pair of extra skates that the lost boy had acquired in a hurry-was easily avoided since the only thing keeping Ryoga upright on the ice was his own grim determination to avenge himself upon the object of a perceived injustice. Said object had little difficulty moving to the side as Ryoga blithely sailed on right past Senzenen and went crashing into the nearby wall, ricocheting like a pinball with arms windmilling as the Sith adept fought against the pull of gravity in an effort to remain upright.
"Ouch," Ranma winced from where he was sitting, "That stupid baka..."
"Guess maybe that Ryoga guy doesn't like the idea of Senzenen making a play for his girl," Nabiki fathomed.
"Indeed," Kasumi agreed, "But it was a poorly thought out attack and he now has no back up plan to fall upon, which means that he has little hope of achieving his objectives."
"Shows how much you guys know about love," Ursula grinned in anticipation, "Give a guy enough cause and he'll even ignore the laws of physics to win the girl to his side, so don't count him out just yet...that boy's genes are itching to procreate, even if his girl has her own girlfriend."
The ice was cold under Ryoga's hands as he tried to push himself back to his feet in order to renew his intended onslaught. It was fortunate for him indeed that Senzenen was just then regarding him more with pity than serious interest, but it was Azusa who seemed the more curious of the two of them, and she bent down to carefully study Ryoga's features as if trying to place his somewhat familiar visage.
"That odd...Azusa think she know boy from somewhere..."
"Get out of my face!" Ryoga snarled, memories flooding back of how he had captured by the diminutive skater.
"There's no reason to be mean to little Azusa-hey!" the curly haired girl remarked with open surprise, pointing at Ryoga and saying, "Azusa knows you! You are Jean Paul, Azusa's friend! But what are you doing outside of the home Azusa gave you?"
Despite himself Ryoga reacted with dismay at the revelation, but still he heatedly denied the charge, saying, "Wh-what do you mean? My name isn't Jean Paul, it's Hibiki Ryoga!"
"Jean Paul, Jean Paul!" Azusa did a little dance upon the ice and whooped it up in celebration, "Azusa knows you, you're still wearing her collar!"
Ryoga's hand reflexively went up to feel along the edge of his neckline, discovering that there was indeed a collar around his neck, complete with silver engravings and a name tag. He was only just starting to come to grips with this revelation when yet another pair of players chose that moment to announce themselves, appearing upon the ice as suddenly as if by magic.
"Never mind about Ryoga-san...you have something else to concern both you and your arrogant partner," said the somewhat taller of two dark haired figures wearing fancy skating outfits, "Namely myself and my comely partner, who have come to challenge you to avenge the wrong that you have wrought upon our friend, Kuonji."
"Say what?" Ukyo blinked, then saw who one of the new arrivals ways and said, "Sugar?"
"Uh...hey, Ucchan," Akane smiled back a bit nervously, "Glad to see you're all right...and is Shampoo feeling okay? She seems a little...drained from what I can tell from here..."
Ukyo could only blink at this, seeing Akane in a short-skirted mini-dress that was laced with sequins while the figure at her side could be none other than the aristocratic Kuno Kodachi, also garbed in fancy attire, yet in an outfit that squashed her breasts tightly to her chest and padded out her waist to give the illusion of a masculine profile. Kodachi wore dark pants that were similarly adorned with embroidered silver roses and was wearing a patently false mustache that looked as though a manga artist had hastily penciled it in. Her pony tail was swept backwards to add to the illusion of a Bishonen skater, and her smile was as cocky as it was daring as she held Akane by the hand and effected an air of superior condescension.
"Who are you?" Senzenen demanded, only mildly ruffled at yet another interruption.
"Who am I?" Kodachi asked in a deliberately roughened and deeper-than-usual voice, "Why, I am none other than the suave and debonair Kuno Akuma, rising star of the Martial Arts figure skating world, at your humble service. And this is my charming and beautiful partner of the evening, Tendo Akane, a close friend and personal trainer to the pair whom you have been dealing with so rudely."
"Omigawd..." Nabiki murmured from where she was sitting.
"Hey...ain't that Kuno's sister, the one Akane's been hanging around with?" Ranma asked.
"Oh my," Kasumi softly averred, "Who could have imagined that Akane was seeing yet another crossdresser..."
"That has to be the worst masculine disguise that I have ever beheld," Kimiko murmured softly.
"Indeed," Trieste agreed, "And yet one must admire Akane's new fianc e for the boldness of her imagination."
"Why, what a handsome boyfriend Akane seems to have acquired," Nodoka marveled, not having yet caught on to the gender deception.
"Oh, my sweet ancestors," Soun felt tears form in his eyes, "Would that she were truly a man whom my little girl was engaged to..."
"How is that again?" both Kimiko and Trieste turned questioning looks in his direction.
"Er...I mean...if Godai's little girl were a man I should hope that she would be so manly," Soun said quickly, "But as they are both obviously women...um...well..."
"Tendo-kun," Genma stage-whispered towards him, "Perhaps you'd better leave it to the professionals. You never were all that good at lying."
"Oh brother," Ukyo shook her head as she regarded the semi-disguised Kodachi, "Sugar, that is the worst disguise I've ever seen, and only a complete idiot would mistake you for a..."
"You had best leave here while you are able, my dear fellow," Senzenen said as he regarded Kodachi the way a lion might regard a male rival, (ignoring Ukyo's facefault in passing) "My dispute is with Kuonji, not you."
"I beg to differ, kind sir," Kodachi informed him, "Your fight is with me if you insist on pressing the matter any further. Rather it is I who offer you the chance of backing down and saving face 'lest I be forced to avenge my fianc e's honor since she is clearly quite offended by your actions, and I know that I speak for Akane-chan when I say that you stand to risk our wrath, which will be most righteous and quite certain."
"What the hell are you trying to...?" Ukyo started to say, only to find her sentence interrupted before it could be completed.
"Fear not, Kuonji-san," Kodachi replied in her patently fake male voice, "Though you fought valiantly and hard it is clear that you are taxed well past your limits and cannot be expected to fight at your best, nor can your lovely companion. Please forgive our presumption but honor compels us to step forward and offer our own substitution so that you may rest and regain the full measure of your prowess. Be assured that Akane and I are more than equal to the task of putting down this conceited upstart and will take great pleasure in doing so unless he acts sensibly and withdraws now from this contest."
"You must be delusional," Senzenen dismissed, "But it matters little to me whom my opponent is, and one of you is as good as the other."
"But what about Jean Paul?" Azusa asked of the still struggling Ryoga, who had yet to achieve his goal of regaining his footing.
"One matter at a time, Azusa," Senzenen assured her, "First we put these new fools in their place, then you can indulge your freakish whims with your pet, though for what it's worth I think you're tastes could stand some improvement."
"I'll get you for that," Ryoga growled with impotent fury, his feet steadfastly refusing to stay steady on his borrowed ice skates.
"Now this is getting good," Taro murmured from where he was positioned beneath the bleachers, "Don't know what you're up to, Doll-face, but it looks to me like you're biting off more than you can swallow. Of course that just means I get to play the hero when you get your pretty ass in a sling, which is just one of the fringe benefits of the boss's plan that I hadn't seen coming..."
"Are you two nuts?" Ukyo asked, directing her question towards Akane.
"Hey, like Kodachi said," Akane sheepishly replied, "Let us take it from here. Besides, I already know how to fight on skates, remember? And Koda-uh-Akuma here assures me he's a champion skater."
"As I will happily demonstrate in another minute," Kodachi assured them with a confident bluster that sounded almost convincing.
"Very well," Senzenen said with implacable confidence, as though he considered the match over before it had even begun, "But know in advance that if you lose the fight that I will steal a kiss from your fair companion."
"Say what?" Akane blinked, marveling at the one-track mind of the pervert since in her mind the only ones whom she wanted to kiss were Ukyo and Shampoo...and maybe even Kodachi.
Purge sighed to himself as he witnessed these affairs then murmured softly, "Even after all these years...I am never going to understand the thinking of these mammals..."
Continued.
Comments/Criticisms/Courtly Skating Tips: shadowmane
Akane and Kodachi step into the ring and take up the challenge of the Golden Pair, but is this a sound decision on their part, or will they shortly know, "The Kiss of the Spider-Girl," or, "To Have, Hold and Dismember!" Be there!
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