Intermission 5
Minato entered the hokage's office with a look of concern on his face. Seeing this, Hiruzen quickly dropped his paperwork and rushed over to the blonde man. "What's wrong?"
"I'm worried," Minato said.
"For who?" Hiruzen asked.
"The village, and my wife and son," Minato said.
"What happened?" Sarutobi asked.
"It all started a week ago," Minato said. "Naruto started spending more time with Kushina. At first I thought it was normal, because they only found each other recently, you know?" Hiruzen nodded. "But soon they were talking in hushed whispers with papers and maps all over the tables and floors. Whenever I or anyone else approached they would quickly seal the documents and such, and quit talking. They would just give me this look. I don't really understand it myself."
"Is there anything else?" Hiruzen asked.
"Yes. Both of them seemed to be stockpiling things. I don't know what they are, but there were blood seals that were keyed specifically to them and no one else," Minato said. "I even had Jiraiya-sensei try to crack one and he ended up in the hospital. And they've taken to making sure that their weapons are in perfect order, on a level that would scare even a Higurashi."
"This may be serious," Hiruzen said. "I'll have to look into this."
"I'm scared, Ojii-san. I'm scared like you wouldn't believe," Minato said frantically, his eyes widened drastically.
"Calm yourself Minato. You are…were a Kage. The likes of which were never before seen! You can handle this!" Hiruzen said, giving Minato a several slaps across the face.
"You're right" Minato said, regaining his composure. "Thank you."
"It was nothing, don't mention it," Hiruzen said.
"Sure thing," Minato agreed.
"People of Konohagakure no Sato, hear me!" a familiar voice yelled out from the top of the Hokage monument.
"Oh Kami!" Minato exclaimed. "It's Kushina!"
Atop the Monument was Kushina in her ANBU battle armor. Beside her was Naruto, in similar armor. "Today is the day of reckoning! Today, you will pay for all the torment you put my son through!"
"What's going on?" a civilian asked.
"I don't know," another answered.
"I'm scared," a child said.
Kushina drew her sword and pointed it sharply at the center of the village. "Today you shall have no mercy! You shall know fear like no other! Today your prayers will fall on deaf ears!" She hushed her tone to a whisper that only Naruto could hear. "On my signal." Naruto nodded, as Kushina brought her voice up again. "Now it BEGINS!"
Naruto made a single hand sign, and the chaos began. All across Konoha, bursts of smoke appeared. There were stink bombs going off all over the Inuzuka kennels, pheromones being released all over the village, attracting many different animals to all the villagers. Many ROOT shinobi burst from their hiding places, covered in scary clown masks.
The Hyuuga compound was hit with flash bombs, blinding them as Kage Bunshin painting everything pink. Even the pets and clothes. The Hyuuga's hair was dyed a lime green color.
The Aburame clan was hit a special pheromone that made the insects, for lack of a better word, high or drunk. The clansmen were trying to calm the bugs, and failing miserably.
The shop owners were distraught. Their stocks had been moved onto the roofs, and surrounded by barrier seals. The restaurants were plagued with food that glowed in neon colors. Even though the food was not that color.
The parks were overflowing with snakes, ravens, toads, foxes, and slugs of varying sizes. In the training grounds, the denizens of the forest of death woke in regular team training grounds. In the water were what looked like several of the elusive freshwater sharks.
The Torture and Interrogation headquarters had pigs running around the halls, and several flash seals around complex, blinding anyone who tried to catch one of the pigs.
The hospital… was untouched.
The hokage tower was covered with crude drawings of the intimate acts with various important people. Most of those important people were there to see it. Inside, Hiruzen was freaking out. His robes had changed into a pink and yellow floral dress. His hair had been dyed a sky blue color, and his feet were adorned with sparkly green high heels.
The ANBU got hit the worst. All of the masks had been changed out with geisha like face masks. They had special adhesive seals to keep them on the faces of the ANBU for 24 hours. The entire uniform had been changed to shades of pink, yellow, and lime green. All of it riddled with itching powder. The swords had been replaced with parasols in the shape of giant flowers.
The village was in chaos.
Kushina and Naruto turned towards the group of people behind them. The group consisted of Itachi, Kisame, all three of the Sannin, Anko, the Konohamaru Corp., Sasuke, Hinata, Haku, and Zabuza. Shortly afterward Minato stepped out into the clearing as well.
"Good job everyone," Kushina smiled. "Especially Tsunade, Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Itachi. We couldn't have done it without you. So, who's up for some Ichiraku Ramen?"