A/N: Big thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing - I can't believe I'm on part 35! Seriously, I started this thinking maybe 6 chapters ... Shows what I know, lol!

THIRTY-FIVE.

Padding down the hotel's sweeping staircase in the soft glow of the half moon shining through the windows, Julie made her way behind the bar and grabbed an orange juice from the little refrigerator there.

"Hey."

"Jesus Christ! Dean? What are you doing?" she gasped on hearing a voice from the shadows, her hand flying to her heart at the sudden shock. "Why are you sitting in the dark? And what are you up doing up anyway?"

"I could ask you the same thing." he said in a wry tone. "I just … couldn't sleep. Thought I'd make the most of the peace."

"Oh. Well, I'll leave you to it …"

"You don't have to." he said, a little too quickly for his liking. "I mean, it's a free country."

For a moment, Julie considered just going back upstairs, unsure that she was up for another round of their verbal sparring. But, nostalgic for a time when they could have chatted easily for hours, she sighed and sat down opposite him. Maybe it was her turn to make an effort.

"So …"

"So …" Portman echoed half-heartedly.

"Some day, huh?"

"Yeah, good news about Cait and Fulton."

"Aww, yeah." Julie smiled, relaxing in spite of herself at the thought of the happy couple. "Those two are gonna have the cutest babies!"

"Hockey players who report on their own games." Portman suggested with a reluctant grin, catching her eye and making both of them dissolve into laughter.

"I miss you, Dean." Julie said suddenly, the laughter dying away with her words.

"Don't do this to me again, Gaffney." he warned after a long pause, looking away.

"No, I know." she nodded quietly, "I just … I need to be straight with you. All the times I pushed you away, saying I was scared of losing you, of losing your friendship … I've done that anyway and I've brought it on my self. We don't hang out except with the others, we barely talk without biting each other's head off … And I miss you. I can't help it."

"Fuck." he sighed, getting up to pace the floor. "I said I wasn't going to let myself do this again. I miss you too, Julie – but I don't think I can do it anymore. I don't think I can just be your friend. God knows, I've tried."

"Maybe I don't need a friend." she said hesitantly, her gaze fixed on her feet. "I've got friends – I've got Connie and Linda and Cait, the guys, my friends back home, people from work … Maybe I just need you …"

"Until the morning when you change your mind again and leave me out in the cold." Portman said, struggling to keep his tone even. "I know the drill, Jules – you convince me you're ready to take a chance on us, you build my hopes up and then you rip them back down. Sometimes I think you get a kick out of it!"

"That's not fair." Julie whispered.

"Reality check, Jules – life's not fair. You can't have everything your own way – you don't get to come running to me when you feel like playing at being a bad girl and then ditch me to get back on your high horse. That's not how it works."

"I know I've hurt you …" she managed, biting her lip in a bid to keep back the tears she knew were threatening. "But I swear I never meant to. And, if it makes you feel any better, I've hurt myself just as much – probably more. At least you can blame me – I don't have anyone to blame but myself … I just … I'm sorry, okay? I need you to at least know that. And that you were right – I was scared to admit it before, but I do love you. I have done for a long time."

He never could stand it when she cried, much less now that she was – finally – pouring her heart out to him.

"Julie …" he tried, but she cut him off with a shake of her head, dashing the back of her hand across her eyes and taking a deep breath, not quite able to look at him.

"No, it's okay, I know. I don't expect you to feel the same after everything I've put you through, but … please, don't. I hate the thought of hearing you say it."

"Kitty-cat …"

Her head flew up at that – it had been so long since she'd heard that old nickname from him.

"Come here …" he said, his voice low as he reached out to pull her close, his hand cupping her cheek and his thumb gently wiping away tears. "No more tears, babe."

And then he was kissing her and she couldn't quite believe she'd been granted yet another chance. Julie's eyes drifted shut as his lips moved softly over hers, the kiss deepening for the briefest second before – all too soon – he was pulling away.

"And that's all you're getting – tonight." Portman said, in an admittedly rare show of maturity and restraint, managing a slight smile at the confusion on her face. "Julie, I've learned my lesson the hard way – go back to bed, get some sleep and if by the morning you haven't decided this is a humongous mistake … well, then we'll see what happens."

"I don't know how you expect me to sleep after this." Julie said, with a weak laugh.

"Go on …" he smiled, "And Julie? If this is for real, I'll be here – one hundred percent. If it's not what you really really want – I'll understand. I just need you to be straight with me this time."

Nodding, she turned to go. "I guess I'll see you in the morning …"

"I hope so." he said softly. "I hope so."

The figure slumped over the table stirred slightly at the sound of a cellphone ringing – someone else checking up on him no doubt. He didn't need checking up on.

So what if his apartment was littered with empty Jack Daniels bottles? So what if he hadn't shaved in a while? So what if being either drunk or hungover was starting to become routine for him?

Rob Allen did not need a babysitter. He was one of the top people in Chicago's media industry – he could take care of himself.

Just not anyone else apparently.

He'd failed. He sworn he'd put a stop to the letters, the calls. He'd sworn he'd protect his staff. But now he'd lost the one woman he'd actually loved. He couldn't save her. He couldn't save Lucia.

And it seemed he wasn't handling that too well. To say the least.

His cellphone started up again and Rob groaned – why couldn't everyone just leave him alone?

He glanced at the screen. Dan. He should have known.

"What?" he snapped, answering the call on a whim.

"You better not have just taken that tone with me, sunshine." his boss growled. It seemed the kid gloves they'd all been handling him with were finally coming off. It was … oddly refreshing.

"Sorry." he muttered. "Boss."

"And don't you forget it. Listen, Rob, Cait being back in the city - I'm not ecstatic about it. Of course I understand her coming back … when she heard, but she's staying put and she wants to come back to work …"

"Well, she can't." Rob said bluntly, "We're not losing anyone else."

"Do you want to be the one who tells her?" Dan said wryly.

Dawn was just breaking over the horizon when the hesitant knock came at the door. Portman was laying on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, his arms folded behind his head. He'd dozed off a couple of times throughout the night, but mostly he'd just been thinking – everything going round and round in his racing mind. But that knock … it brought everything sharply into focus.

Clambering out of bed, he hurried to the door and then paused to take a deep breath. It could be anyone – it wouldn't be the first time the Ducks had embarked on some crazy adventure like watching the sun rise for the sheer hell of it … He didn't want to get his hopes up.

Opening the door, he stood face to face with his visitor, momentarily certain his imagination was simply running away with him.

"You said to wait 'til the morning …" Julie said, almost shyly. "I'd figured this was close enough."

to be continued ...