Disclaimer: I in no way own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII or American McGee's Alice. Don't sue; I'm simply an E5 in the USN, therefore I have no money. Ha.

A/N 1: Each chapter is written from a different POV. The identity of the 'speaker' is located with the chapter's name. Just trying to avoid confusion here. :) For additional A/Ns and review replies, please see the bottom of the chapter. And that, as they say, is that.

-BEGIN FIC-

Chapter 36
The SeeD Commander – Book

My world was steadily falling into an abyss of pain.

My arms felt like they were ready to fall off of my body. My muscles ached from continually wielding my gunblade. My skin was nearly completely torn off of my forearms, strings of it hanging loosely from my flesh and teasingly brushing past my knuckles. Blood was making the hilt of Lionheart impossibly slick, tracing slim rivers down my battered and lacerated hands. My shoulders hurt not only from the strain of wielding my weapon but also from being cut to pieces by the claws of Heartless and the lances of those obnoxious cards and the hands of those banshee creatures. My back hurt, my skull ached, my heart thundered heavily in my chest with painful straining. My shirt was stained not only with the greasy ink that remained after Heartless splattered when slaughtered and the red spewing blood of my enemies but with my own vitae, open wounds on my chest and back that danced over my ribs weeping puss into the discolored fabric I wore. Hell, even my feet hurt. I was tempted to kick my boots off and abandon them. However, they were all that were protecting my aching toes from the sharp shards of glass and jagged stones and slivers of broken wooden boards so they earned the right to stay in their place.

I felt dizzy from blood loss, my sight continually fading in and out of darkness, my steps not nearly as sure as I was certain I was making them appear to be. A part of me wanted to listen to that Heartless' words; stopping and getting that Metaessence stuff that Cloud used might indeed be a great idea. It did, after all, seem to instantaneously heal some of the blond's wounds and bring his eyes back into focus. However, getting out of the damned reaches of Wonderland more quickly was more appealing than extending my time in its depths to seek out the healing crystalline containers.

I wanted out, and be damned if I was going to wait for anyone else – I wouldn't let anyone hinder my progress. Cid and that Shadow Heartless could rot for all I cared.

The only other person I cared about was Cloud. He was coming with me. I didn't care if he didn't want to. Tough. He had no choice. I wouldn't wait for him; I'd drag him along at my pace.

Even if Cloud was freaking me out.

After all, when a person suddenly swaps personalities, it's a bit eerie.

I recognize that my behavior as of late might have been a touch less tempered, but at least I didn't adopt an entirely new personality and go flailing about, apparently unaware that I was asking redundant questions and smiling like a moron.

The Cloud behind me at the moment seemed to be the Cloud I was used to. The grim, sullen, quiet young man who flopped violently between cute and pathetic, the man who could be so endearing and yet so frustrating with every passing moment, the person I'd known since coming across him at the Olympus Coliseum all those months ago. The soft-spoken man with the gravity-defying hair and shy blushes, whose smile was almost as rare as my own, who seemed as content to follow as to fly randomly into battle with a cry on his lips and murder in those beautiful glowing blue eyes of his.

He was the rare gem I'd found all those months ago, morosely slinking about in the dungeon-like depths of the Coliseum's recesses, his sinfully perfect face sad and lovely with soft, pouting lips and long blond lashes dusting across pale cheeks. That vision with his slender build, perfectly proportioned limbs carrying well-defined and lean muscle that hinted towards the impossible strength his small frame contained. That being that encouraged second glances and disbelieving stares, awed gawking at the grace and supple beauty that was inherit in every movement that he made.

What he was earlier….

That certainly wasn't Cloud.

I don't know exactly what that was. All I know is that it wasn't Cloud. Cloud didn't plan like that. He didn't smile like that. He didn't encourage his counterparts in battle like that. He didn't chatter aimlessly like that. He didn't flail like that. He didn't hop along like a defunct crack-ridden rabbit like that. He didn't bounce on his toes when he walked like that. He didn't speak with wild hand gesturing like that.

On top of all of that, Cloud never repetitiously asked questions. Once I'd answered a question, he never bothered to ask it again. He had enough of a brain to recall whatever information I'd imparted onto him – that was a rather nice trait of his. He was smart, despite his sometimes rather blithe and obtuse behavior.

Cloud planning and cheerfully flailing into battle with smiles and laughter and bouncing and hyperactivity was akin to standing before Ultimecia while she spread her arms and cursed the existence of SeeD for disrupting time compression and attempting to stop her. Both were terrifying. Both seemed to spell the end of the world. Apocalypse, I tell you.

I was determined to keep my eye on him. I was planning to keep him firmly adhered to my side.

If he did anything outrageously out of the ordinary, I'd tie him up and haul him over my shoulder. Screw it. He wasn't going to put me at any unnecessary risk. He wasn't staying behind, either.

There was no way I was abandoning him. He's mine. And what belongs to me doesn't get left behind. I suppose I could be defined as being fairly possessive.

With his strange flippancy in personality, I was curious to know if he was even aware that he's mine.

Perhaps I'd have to stress that fact if he showed any further deviation in persona.

I noted with some satisfaction that he was following as I shoved the doors the Cat had nodded towards open, letting my eyes survey what the next room revealed.

It was a giant library.

I watched with bland disinterest as the child that was before us stared blankly into space while making little 'vroom' noises with his mouth before shuffling about on his hands and knees.

Pathetic.

Perhaps I should put the brat out of his misery – the damned little insane kid probably wouldn't know what hit him if I put my gunblade through his skull and pulled the trigger. Hell, his freed spirit might even thank me for the release from his obviously encumbered fleshy prison.

Taking my first step into the enormous room, staring up at bookshelves that towered feet above me with their giant books beckoning with hidden wisdom, I surveyed my surroundings.

I was in a straight passageway that joined another in a t-intersection. The child was crawling about in the middle of our walkway, a hindering obstacle but not one that would halt our progression. Somewhere in the distance a soft tinkling sound could be heard. Yells emitted form large throats, deep threatening voices reverberating as they echoed across some unexplored empty expanse, rang from areas of the library we'd yet to see.

My lips curled with a feral sneer. I recognized the particular tone those deep voices carried.

There were more card soldiers ahead. Fun.

"Wow," I heard the Heartless' creepy voice float. "And here I thought the library at that fortification you were all living in was large."

"Shit, Hollow Bastion's library ain't got nothin' on this," Cid gruffly snorted. "Looks like the kind of place ol' Vinny might be in, ya think?"

"If he's alive," Cloud's voice softly professed. "I'd still like to point out how I got his cape and his glove."

"Whatever," I snarled, adding my own gravely voice to the fray. "Let's check. Cid, you and the Heartless stick together. Cloud, you're with me. There's a larger expanse of library around the corner – I can hear voices echoing over there. Be on your toes. There are enemies ahead."

You're intending that we split up if we come to any forks in the path?" the Heartless questioned, his aquamarine eyes staring at me.

"Yeah. Two groups can search faster than one, obviously. Common fucking sense. Now move," I replied.

I didn't bother looking back at them as I took my first step into the library's walkway. Glancing down at the child that was still roving around on his hands and knees, I scowled.

A swift kick to his side moved him out of our way.

"Leon!" I heard three voices cry out over the sudden and pained sobs of the boy on the floor, all three aghast and horrified.

I ignored them.

Instead, I charged down the left corridor when I reached the end of my straight walkway, the startled scream of the child having encouraged a bellowed war cry from a card somewhere close by. Three steps put me on top of my foe. A slash of my blade separated his head from his body. A sharp thrust of my fist into the diamond shape in the center of his flat body sent blood flowing under my nails and over my wrist even as I curled my fingers around the crystalline object that rested within its fleshy container. Ripping the Metaessence pyramid free, I flung it behind me, Cloud's fast reflexes barely saving him from being clunked between the eyes with it. "Use that," I ordered before taking off again.

Rounding a corner, I stared with wide eyes.

It was larger than I'd expected.

Three levels of towering bookshelves and rickety floors stood before me, separated left and right sides of the room containing their own segregated tomes of information. In the center wall directly across the humongous room from my location was a simple indentation flush with the third floor, a large book beckoning there. No visible stairway lead from the first floor to the second – only a tiny portion of a spiral stairway attached to a pole to my left was visible. Directly above my head I found a single connection between the left and right sides of the room – a slender catwalk stretched from one side of the huge place to the other, joining the second floors. No obvious way to reach the third floor was visible. Cards roved every level, pacing with maddening certainty around their stations.

As the others caught up to me, I pointed above my head. "Cloud and I will head to the right. Cid, brat, you two stay left. Cover us by getting those damned projectile throwing cards down."

The Heartless slowly scratched his round chin with sharp claws. "There's a door marked 'Star Observatory' on the side we're assigned, Leon."

"I see it," I snorted. "But we're searching for Cloud's friend first. Once we've searched the entire place, then we'll go to the observatory."

"Got'cha," Cid grunted. "So now the question – how the fuck do we get up to the next floor?"

Cloud pointed to the small chunk of staircase. "Well, we've seen a balloon that could support all of our combined weight. We've seen tentacles that can bore through solid stone. We've even seen cards that can bleed and die. Maybe that set of stairs can carry us."

I shrugged even as Cid and the Heartless looked at it with doubt in their eyes. "Fine. Let's give it a try." Grabbing Cloud's wrist, I dragged him with me.

Sure enough, as soon as we were solidly in place on the small piece of stairwell, it spiraled up the post it was attached to and took us directly to that little catwalk I'd noted while below. "Perfect," I muttered.

Even as the staircase slid back down its track to return to the first floor, I scanned the area. The cards had yet to notice that we'd arrived, still patrolling their preset paths.

The Cheshire Cat faded into view, sneering at us with its sharply fanged grin. "Steps to enlightenment brighten the way, but the steps are steep," his scratchy voice hissed even as he laid a large, clawed paw on a bookcase and nudged it. As the huge case toppled back, its top thudding solidly into a hole carved deliberately in the floor of the level above it to form an impromptu ramp, the Cat nodded even a he faded away once more. "Take them one at a time."

"There's our path," I pointed out to Cloud. "Let's make a break for it."

"Aren't we going to wait for Cid and the Heartless to get up here?" he timidly asked.

"No. They have their instructions. Hopefully they're intelligent enough to follow them," I gruffly replied even as I nudged my partner towards the catwalk.

We darted across, fortunately unseen, arriving in the shelter of the shadows behind a bookcase on the other side of the massive space that segregated the two sides of the huge library. "Neh, Leon," Cloud's voice softly whispered to me, "look at that."

'That' happened to be a hovering book surrounded in blue light, the source of the soft tinkling sound I'd noted earlier. Even as Cloud delicately laid the clawed tips of his left hand's glove upon its binder, it burst into motion, flapping its covers like the wings of a bird and flying off. We followed its path with wide and astonished eyes.

I smirked as I noted its behavior. "It's floating by the third floor. That's how we can reach that book in that supposedly unreachable alcove."

Unfortunately, the fluttering of the book drew the attention of every guard in the joint. Yells surrounded us even as books started being blasted off the shelves by the explosions of the bomb-like projectiles thrown by our enemies.

"Take cover!" I barked at Cloud even as I charged form our hiding place to where I heard our nearest adversary's footsteps ringing. Flinging myself around the bookcase we'd been using as shelter, I came face to face with a snarling spade.

His lance nicely deflected the swing of my gunblade, much to my frustration. The curved protrusions of his weapon's tip tangled with the more delicate design of Lionheart, ensnaring it and holding it solidly at bay. I couldn't pull a hand away from my gunblade's hilt to lash forward with a fist, given how much strength he was pushing his lance with – any removal of a grip on my weapon would weaken my resistance to his attack. My feet were solidly planted against the ground to shove back against his attempts to approach and close the miniscule distance between our snarling faces, preventing any kicks.

Given my options, I lashed forward with my teeth, digging them into the card's slight neck and tearing through flesh and vein. Blood swam in my mouth, coating my tongue and threatening to trickle down my throat even as I wrenched away from my screaming adversary. As he staggered back and cried out in pain, I finally had the opportunity to push my attack, stepping forward and sliding my gunblade deftly out of its tangled condition and down his lance's length to slice off the fingers that held its shaft.

As the lance clattered to the ground, I tore Lionheart straight through the card's middle, severing it in half. The Metaessence container that floated from its body was batted solidly towards my blond companion, crashing into him and splitting open even as he finished driving his ample blade through the other space that was on our side of the library.

He grimaced as he rubbed the small of his back, massaging away the bruise that threatened to form where the crystalline Metaessence pyramid had crashed into him. "That hurt, bastard," he growled at me.

I shrugged without care as I flicked Lionheart towards the ground, flinging the thick blood that coated it onto the gnarled wood we stood upon even as I swallowed the pooled blood in my mouth. "But it healed your wounds. Live with it."

His eyes narrowed considerably as he kept his glare on my face. "I told you before, Leon. Don't watch my back. I don't need it."

"If you didn't, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. Quit whining."

Cloud snorted softly. "If anyone needs another person to watch his back, it's you. You should us the next Metaessence container we find. You look like-"

I couldn't stand listening to his soft condescending proclamations any longer. Instead, I interrupted him, silencing him with another kiss.

I don't know why I'd not resorted to this earlier. It felt nice. It was something I'd been wanting to do for so very long.

Since we'd met, I'd been fascinated with his beauty and grace, drawn by his melancholic attitude with a longing to make things better in his life, to protect his spirit from being shattered as completely as my own had been. I'd been enthralled with his perfection, with his mystifying good looks, with his cherubic face and gorgeous glowing eyes. I'd lusted to make him mine, to encase him in my arms. I'd confessed to Rinoa that I wanted to see if he could help my heart open once again, if he could help me melt the layers of ice I'd allowed to frost over my soul.

I knew I was attracted to him. I knew that I wanted him.

What I didn't know was why I hadn't acted on my longings and taken him as my own yet. I knew what I wanted.

Fuck it all. There was nothing to stop me from taking what I wanted.

Pressing him against the bookcase behind him, keeping my lips locked with his, I pressed my mouth so tightly against his that my teeth threatened to bruise his lips. My tongue slid along the entrance of his mouth, trying desperately to force its way inside. My hand tightened its grip on his chin, the other sliding down to his side to grip him tightly and hold him in place.

Cloud was apparently too stunned to move away, his eyes huge as he stared into my glower. His hands rose to my shoulders.

If he thought he was pushing me away, he had another thought coming.

I pressed a leg between his, my body fitting tightly against his, my lips adhered to his. As his jaws parted slightly I pushed my tongue into him, tasting his sweet saliva mingle with the blood of the card that was still in my mouth. I released his chin, gripping his shoulder instead as tightly as I could and pushing him even more firmly against the bookcase he was trapped against. The hand that rested on his side moved to tear his belt away. My ears caught the distinct ring of metal colliding with wood as a part of his buckle hit the floor.

Gripping the front of his pants, I tore my hand away from his body, listening as the button on his pants snapped and the zipper protested loudly even as it gave way. He squirmed as I pushed my fingers down between the elastic of his exposed boxers and his creamy, smooth skin.

I sighed in complete pleasure as my fingers brushed through impossibly soft curly hair. Lightening the pressure I was putting on his mouth, easing my kiss into something gentle and serene, I slid my hand further down into the warm land it had found. Cloud shivered slightly, the pressure he'd been applying on my shoulders easing off even as my fingertips brushed along the warm and smooth skin that nest of hair surrounded.

Then he started returning my kiss, pressing against my mouth even as his tongue lightly brushed over my own and slid between my teeth.

Suddenly Cloud was wrenching himself away, gagging and coughing brightly, a hand clenched over his stomach.

Anger flared over every last sense I had. "What the fuck?" I bit, bending over to grab the back of his cape near his neck and wrench him upright.

He had a slightly green sheen across his deathly white face as he fought off a fit of nausea. "Y-You taste like their blood," he stammered out.

I scowled before stalking away. The next hovering book I found got kicked solidly, sending it spiraling out of control for a few moments before it oriented itself and flew to its predetermined position to hover.

One more card, a tromp up the ramp the Cat had created for us, two more cards and all three Metaessence containers from those bodies lobbed at Cloud later, we were standing on the third floor and overlooking the suicidal jump from the wooden platform upon which we stood to the first of the hovering books.

Apparently there had been these hovering tomes on the other side of the room as well – there were four in place, whereas we had only located two throughout our little jaunt. Cid and the Heartless were replicating our expeditions.

Handing Cloud my gunblade, I carefully judged the distance I would have to leap. A grimace turned my lips even as I hooked my thumbs in the top of my leather pants. "Shit," I softly muttered.

I had no allusions of grandeur here. If I slipped, I'd die.

That's why I was a bit shocked when Cloud handed me back my gunblade. The extra weight….

And he handed me First Tsurugi. "That book, right? I'll get it down for you," his soft, calm voice quietly said, barely sliding along my ears.

What, didn't he trust my abilities? Talk about an easy way to piss me off.

Then I realized how silly I was being when he flapped his wing before leaping casually off the edge of our floor.

Of course he should be the one doing that crap. He could somewhat fly.

Shrugging, I watched as he carefully made his way from one book to the next, his wing flapping a bit at intervals to keep him from toppling off his slowly drifting platforms of hovering books. One final jump landed him next to that book in the remote alcove, next to the Cheshire Cat who'd decided once more to pop into reality. Even as the Cat hissed his advice to, "Treat it like a Chinese box or a stuck lid. A tap in the right place might help," and Cloud booted it right off its resting place, I ran down to the second floor and leapt down to the first. My ears barely caught the Cat's lamentation of, "You call that a tap? Fortunate I didn't suggest force. You might have pulverized it."

The lock on the book's cover had burst open when it had impacted the ground. Grabbing a loose page I flipped it, staring at its contents.

The words slowly shifted, letters arranging themselves before my eyes. I blinked, staring, marveling at what I was seeing. Apparently the book's content was specific for each person that looked upon its pages.

I suppressed the urge to gasp as the book displayed coordinates and a familiar name to me. Grabbing the page, I ripped it out of the tome and quickly stuffed it into my pants, finding the hidden pocket I had sewn into the back of my boxers with swift certainty. "Come on, Cloud. We need to catch up with Cid and the Heartless," I called out.

A leathery flap and the light thud of boots landing next to me announced his arrival. He looked at me with wary, frightened eyes even as he finally banished that wing of his, hiding it with a crackle of magic and a pained gritting of his teeth. "Leon…" he softly whispered, his voice shaken and his statement drifting into nonexistence even as he curled his fingers around unusually thin and pale yet completely unscathed arms.

I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that he was concerned for my well being, that he was frightened of how the pain of the continual fighting was affecting me. His concern was… touching. Something that I felt I should have been replicating, but for some odd reason my concern was drawn more inward with every developing fight. Like I was losing my ability to care about anyone's desires but my own.

Sighing, I leaned over and gave into my innermost longings again; this time I placed a light kiss on Cloud's cheek, watching as I was instantly rewarded with red coloration on his pale face. "Let's go."

His steps were flooded with nervousness as he obeyed, walking a good five feet behind me as I made my way towards the location of the door to the observatory where the others were probably waiting for us.

-tbc-

A/N 2: Eh heh. If you're looking for more intense Cloud and Leon action, you're going to have to wait a little bit. It is going to happen in the future – however, with Leon currently a bit wacked out and Cloud dancing with his long dead buddy in la-la land, Wonderland's not the best place and now is not the best time. Patience, my children. (waves hands)

Review replies:

Manders1953: Woot! Let's hear it for Zack! Yeah, saw plenty of concept art and demo screenshots for Crisis Core. Three simple opinions: Cute!Zack, SexGod!Sephiroth… and Weenie!Cloud. Gaw. I want to smack the crap out of the blond and profess his weenieness to his face. Save that he'd probably burst into tears at that. (smacks her forehead) Mwa hah! Yes, I stole directly from FF7. And I'm having fun doing it. No one can stop me! (manic cackling) Well, save you guys telling me that I suck. (sheepish grin) Thanks for the review!

scarlettHuntress: Yeah, I hear you on Zack there. Can't hate the guy when he has 'round five minutes of screen time. (laughs) But calling Sora a step? Aww! Poor li'l unappreciated Sora-head! (snuggles the hated Keyblade Master) Sheesh. (snerk) Thanks for reviewing!

Raz: First off, thanks for reviewing! Second, I blush fitfully at all of your praise. Really! But that twist was too good to let pass. After all, with Wonderland warping everyone, I had to take a stab at Cloud; my wee brain said there was no other way for him to go. He'd been down this road before, so there's no reason it can't be revisited. Neh heh heh. Everyone's views are being visited – after all, if I'm going to pull off Wonderland by the time Sora and gang finish up in The Black Hole, I've got to start doing oodles of chapters per Sora escapade, neh? And I'm making the game tame by comparison? (flush) Thanks!

Kitty Kyinsky: Yep, Cloudster is fun. It's a humorous hoot to write him – Leon's just a bit… eerie. As in I dreaded writing the chapter I just posted because of his mind's peculiar warping. Eck. Zack's merrily waving back with a big grin and daisies sticking out of his spiked black hair (don't ask). :) Thanks for reviewing!

DarkStarPhoenix: Well, if you're curious, you can wikipedia it. If you have patience, I shall bring all to you, my child. (deep li'l bow, Cheshire grin) Last chapter, as many others commented correctly on, Cloud's brain decided to unleash Zack upon us once more; he's an old comrade of Cloud's (I like to call him his first male role model after the Shinra poster child (Sephiroth)) whose decidedly ended existence became the base for many of Cloud's memories. Strange story. Will be explained in future chapters. And… (rings gong) Updated!

Angl: Mwe heh heh. Zack's story's one that's so universal it's almost sad. Glad you're happy he's here! And thanks for the review!

Shadow Cat17: Aw, thank you for your compliments! I thoroughly enjoy writing Cid – it's easy. It's like writing myself, only changing my gender, making me smoke, giving me a gawd awful accent and adding fourteen years. (sweatdrop) Cid and the Heartless as a team is an irresistible thought for me. They work so well, especially with the Heartless being able to communicate in the land of loonies. :) And Leon's not necessarily losing his mind… he's losing something a bit more… specific. Mwa ha ha! Hope this chapter satiated your need for more story for a short time!

Dark Mog: Oh, so I've made my pleasure with mucking through American McGee's Wonderland obvious, eh? Heh. Guess so. It is so much fun. And if your desk ate it, it's available through Amazon, actually! Let's hear it for my favorite one-stop shopping place! As for old movies, I recently found an old classic in my collection of Betamax tapes I wish I could use – 'The Cat From Outer Space.' Also stumbled across 'Flight of the Navigator.' Neh heh heh. Still going to have to flip a coin about which movie, 'Oliver' and 'Roger Rabbit,' that is. 'Tron.' Haven't seen that in so long. I love it! I'm glad you're trying to follow 'The Black Hole' chapters. Cheesy old movie, but great in its own way. Maximilian scared the begeezus outta me when I was a shrimp. (hangs head) Anyway, done with courses, eh? Congratz, and hope they went well! And thank you so much for reviewing!

Li the Twilight Knight: Well, the questions behind Zackie-poo will be answered soon enough. Glad you enjoyed his cameo appearance! And… (sniff) Sora's been boring to this point? (fidgets uncontrollably) Eh… glad you found him interesting for once in the last chapter, though! And thanks for reviewing!

(marches through and snidely grins as she watches her kitten maul the Ansem plushie) Neh heh heh. Just tell him to submit. I'm certain he will.