DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own Vampire Knight or any of the characters. All rights belong solely to Matsuri Hino.
A / N:
GOOD DAY, EVERYONE!
It's May, and it's lovely, and I have updated once again! I'm done school for the summer, thank the lord, and I engaged with my inner hermitness. A lot of people are surprised to know this about me, but I actually really enjoy just staying at home and being alone. LOL. So I embraced that part of me fully, and I sat down and wrote and wrote!
This chapter is... I mean, it has a lot in it, I guess? LOL. You guys will understand a bit more when you read it, but I hope it wasn't too bad. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you guys have just as much fun reading it (:
OK, so... Like, I didn't know that after the official last chapter of the original VK manga, there were extras at the end that talked more about what happened during those thousand years that were glossed over. And I really didn't want to read them, because I already knew that I would be so mad at whatever would happen. But I read them. Because I had to. Because I needed to know.
And ohmygod, mother of all that is holy. I was so. damn. pissed.
I don't even have the words to let you guys know just how furious I am with the whole ZeroxYuukixKaname triangle that happened. I CAN'T. EVEN. TELL. YOU. Like, everything about their relationships, the three of them, from the very start until the very end of this damn manga, I loathe. I'M SO SORRY to everyone who likes Yuuki, or who ships her with one of them, but I personally can't. I'm so choked.
I think that AidouxYori is my favourite canon in this manga. Like... seriously. They weren't a thing until the last part of the manga, but damn. They're so hella adorable, and they make me so much happier than any other pairing.
... I'm composed, I'm composed. I'm over it. I'm just... I'm just- OK, no, I can't. DONE.
OH, AND BEFORE I FORGET—an amazing someone mentioned a ship name for Zero and Ivy. I never really thought about it, and I'm not going to lie; I'm bad with ship names. I can never come up with any that sound remotely pretty. LOL. So for everyone that ships ZeroxIvy, what do you think the ship name should be? The person mentioned Zevy, and I'm like, if that's what y'all want, I'm down. HAHA. Let me know!
ALSO, there's actually a little something that I want to let you guys know. It isn't really that important, but it's more like a small fun thing... ish? IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME, but it might not be for you guys. The only reason I'm not telling you all outright right now is because I still need to sort a few things out. I'm just giving you guys the heads-up that in my next update, I'll be sharing something with you guys! (:
So without any more of my rambling, read on, my dears, read on!
Heterochromia.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN;
"Meaning"
By the time lunch break rolled around, Zero and Ivy had practically fallen into a routine that might as well have been occurring for their entire lives. Although they merely whispered under their breaths in class whenever they needed something—it wasn't as if humans could hear their nearly inaudible mutterings, so class wasn't disturbed—there were a few signals that they seemed to naturally fall into. Considering the fact they'd been with one another for such an extended time, they knew one another's habits well enough.
"Mathematics sounds like a lot of fun," she commented as the lecture ended and students began to groan about the new material.
"Only because you don't have to do it," was Zero's reply. She could almost hear the slide of his eyes over to her, the urge to roll his eyes. "You wouldn't fair well in this subject."
"Probably not," she agreed with a laugh. "But just as a listener and not a doer, it seems like fun."
He didn't reply. Instead, he stood up slowly from his seat, watching her as she followed his lead. There was still a note of hesitance lingering in all her actions, as though she was afraid of even the slightest movement being incorrect. Something occurred to him in that moment, and he felt his eyes widen faintly. Immediately, he grabbed onto her wrist like she was going to run away, even though he was blocking the aisle.
She let out a small noise of surprise, but she didn't flinch. Confusion and worry instantly washed through her tone as she asked, "Zero?"
"Did you change your bandages?"
For a moment, she didn't answer. Her mouth opened, closed, and then opened up to let out a musical sound that he associated with her laughter. The smile on her face was bright, amused, and matched her voice as she said, "That was one of the most random moments I have ever encountered with you."
He ignored the jab and repeated his question.
"You'd know better than I do," was her cheeky reply. "I didn't change it this morning after waking up. Did the doctor change it for me recently?"
Zero's lips pressed together into a thin line, dragging down at the corners. That was true—he would know better than her, and he couldn't even believe that he forgot something like that. It was just the fact that she was up and by his side and alive had utterly consumed his mind. He was so used to her that he'd already felt as though she'd never felt. Like the gaping hole that had been created when she'd been gone had practically disintegrated, had closed up.
"We're changing them today when we get back," he muttered with a frown.
"If you say so, Doc," she teased. She was about to say something, but was interrupted as a series of gasps echoed throughout the room. Their heads turned in unison over to the individuals who were hurrying up the steps towards them, and Zero stepped just enough to the side to allow a certain blond to whizz past and throw his arms over the smaller girl.
"I'm so glad you're OK, Ivy-chan!" Ichijou exclaimed, the relief ringing clear in his voice.
"It took everything we had to keep him from barging into your first block," Rima commented nonchalantly. Zero noticed that despite how carefully she tried to mask over her emotions, they still penetrated slightly through her tone, and the tension he'd seen in her posture for the past few weeks had melted away. When his eyes clashed with hers, they both held steady until Shiki spoke.
"We're glad," he said simply. He reached out for her hand, gripping it in his own for a fleeting moment, before letting go and stuffing his hand back into the pocket of his pants.
Something about the gesture made her smile—he saw the tenderness that rested along her features, the affection she held for them in the upward tilt of her lips—and her laughter came out tinged with shakiness. She said, "I'm glad, too."
He hadn't known that hearing something like that could've hurt as much as it did.
x
The Night Class' lecture droned on and on like usual. Zero didn't quite know how Yagari even managed to keep awake during his own lesson. The silver-haired hunter knew that his mentor was just as bored out of his mind as everyone else in the room, except for the occasional moments in which he created amusement for himself out of insignificant things.
The newfound president, although doing his Day Class homework, still kept a sharp, observant eye on everything that happened in the room. And that was why he knew the precise moment when, after Yagari had declared a break, the Pureblood brunette took a step towards him.
Immediately, his eyelids fell over his tired eyes, and he resisted the urge to let out a sigh. His teeth clenched together without his consent, his body tensing before he could stop himself. He hated how it was almost instinctual to prepare himself for a blow that would never physically come.
Not from her.
"Good evening, Zero," she greeted quietly as she stopped at the desk he was seated behind. Although the mutterings of conversation in the room didn't cease, he knew that everyone was paying attention to this conversation. His eyes darted over to where Kaname sat, acting indifferent and composed. His eyes fell back onto her when she continued, "I heard that Ivy-san has recovered."
Until her eyes could see again, until he saw the ignition in them once again, he couldn't say that she had recovered. "She's alive," was what he said.
"I'm very glad," Yuuki answered, sincerity weaved into every word. "I wanted to visit her with Ichijou-senpai and everyone today, but I had been caught up in... other things..." she trailed off, her eyebrows knitting together on her face for a moment before smoothing out. Her lips had pulled down into a more grim line. "I was hoping to speak alone with her about certain things."
"... And?" he prompted when she made no move to continue.
Thrown a bit, Yuuki fumbled to explain her thoughts and reasons. "I know that the two of you are—since you and Ivy-san are close, I—because—" she stopped herself, breathed, and then started again. "I mean to say that I simply wanted to confirm it was alright with you to speak with her."
Everything inside of him screamed no. No, she was not to speak with Ivy. He already knew what the topic of conversation would be, and he had been hoping to avoid the entire thing altogether. Dread immediately tore open inside of him, filling him up until it nearly caused his lungs to creak as he breathed in.
He forced out, "You don't need my permission."
"... Right," she confirmed after a tense moment of silence as she stared at him. "I just thought that it would be nice for you to know about my intentions to do so."
His eyes held hers for just a moment before they fell to his homework in front of him unseeingly. "That's unnecessary."
"What is?" she asked, blinking her wide eyes at him. He could feel those orbs blazing into his skin, and he hated it.
"Telling me."
He could practically see the light in her eyes dim at the tone he'd used. Her expression tightened slightly, her soft smile slipping just a bit. "I suppose you're right." A pause. "I was worried that maybe you didn't want us to be alone together. I understand that with her condition, it's best to keep a watch on her for her safety, so I really appreciate you trusting me to be with her."
For a nanosecond, Zero thought she was referring to them. Her with him. The two of them alone together. But then the thought left faster than it came, and he was a bit surprised with himself at how apathetic he felt about it. "I don't particularly trust you with her," he corrected flatly. "But I'm not a dictator."
Yuuki stared at him for a second before giving a nod. "I see. Thank you. I'll try my best to come at a convenient time."
He didn't say anything, because there was nothing to say to that. But she was looking at him expectantly, like she was waiting for a response that he didn't have. His eyes traced over her features briefly, taking in the button nose, the long strands of dark brown hair, the delicate slope of shoulders. When his eyes met hers—pale amethyst against murky ruby—his mind couldn't help but flash automatically to think of the clarity of Ivy's.
Vivid gold, unforgiving green.
How long had it been since he'd last seen those eyes?
Zero was so wrapped up in his own thoughts again that he was thrown a bit off guard when Yuuki hesitantly said his name again, pulling his head back down from the clouds. "What was that?"
The Pureblood opened her mouth, her eyebrows furrowing together just slightly, but another voice interrupted before she could get a word out. "Kiriyuu, it's best to pay attention to those that are speaking with you. Such things are considered manners."
Yuuki whirled around, a protest just about leaving her lips, but something about Kaname's demeanour stopped her. She clamped her mouth shut, settling for a small little scowl towards him.
When Zero threw a look at him over his shoulder, the Pureblood hadn't even looked up from the book he was reading. His eyes remained following the words on the page, his legs crossed loosely. The hunter narrowed his eyes slightly. "It's none of your business."
"Unfortunately, it is."
"Kaname," Yuuki protested under her breath.
Both males ignored her.
Zero spoke with a deadly precision. "No, it isn't."
Kaname's head tilted just slightly, the action contemplative. His voice was a murmur, tinged with mild curiosity and much more disapproval. It was almost like he was speaking to himself. "I wonder what draws her to you. The difference between you two is so vast."
"... Who?"
"Who else besides Tashiro Ivy?" The faintest traces of amusement tinted his tone. There was something about the way that he said her name that made Zero tense, made his heart lock. It wasn't the way that the Kuran Pureblood usually said the names of hunters. Though he always did his best to keep a neutrally polite and respectful tone, there was a bit more intimacy in the way he said hers.
He called her Ivy, not Kaori.
Zero's features pulled into a scowl automatically.
"No matter how frequently my mind mulls over it, it never fails to stun me how someone such as herself willingly associates with the likes of you."
Little did Kaname know, Zero wondered the exact same things all the time. They were so different, and yet for some reason, that didn't seem to deter her from him at all. She turned those differences into things that brought them together—without him even realizing it, he began to depend on her for the things he lacked. She made up for parts of him that he was missing, and she tried to cultivate those things in him.
He hadn't even realized it until this very moment.
"You know nothing about her," Zero murmured quietly, tersely. She was a mystery even to him, an enigma even after so many months.
"Perhaps you didn't notice," Kaname began slowly, calmly, "but Tashiro Ivy has been the center of attention since the moment she stepped foot on campus. It is not uncommon to have observed her, and in the process, acknowledge her habits and behaviourisms." A pause. "I have come to the conclusion that she is, indeed, rather fascinating."
The next words were spoken through gritted teeth, spoken with a deceptive calmness. "Don't even think about it."
"Oh?" A lilt of mockery. "But did you not just say that you are no dictator?"
The hostility that radiated off of both males crackled through the air, heard in every single syllable they spoke, tainted every breath, screamed with every heartbeat. Their harsh energy was nearly palpable. Zero could feel eyes burning into him warningly, reminding him that he was in a room full of aristocrats and Purebloods, that this was dangerous territory.
He didn't feel fear.
A million different replies flittered through Zero's mind, but he shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm the relentless fire in his veins. He reminded himself that he was the Association President now, that taking Kaname's bait was exactly what the Pureblood wanted. He reminded himself that if he murdered the Kuran right now, if anything happened to him, then nobody would be able to stop the damned Tashiro elders from coming back for her. He tried to pull together all the little things he'd learned from her over the past months, tried to let those tiny buds she'd been growing inside of him finally bloom. He tried to ignore the part of him that thirsted to sink his claws into the brunette's neck, tearing the flesh into pieces.
His throat constricted at the thought.
Standing up so abruptly that he noticed Yuuki jerking back in surprise, Zero set his lips into a firm line and stuffed his clenched fists into his pockets, his long legs taking him towards the door. As he passed by the Pureblood Princess, he noticed that his throat didn't tighten with the familiar thirst, pain, desire—and though he found it odd, he brushed the thought off, allowing his strides to lead him towards his exit.
For the very first time, he walked away from the challenge of a fight he used to always accept.
She wanted his blood.
It absolutely terrified her; she had never felt such an overwhelming desire for another's blood before. It was one of the few things that EX5 never really quite battled with the same way other vampires did—their thirst was tamed and in the back of their minds, never coming forth unless they had lost enough blood.
But nowadays, on occasion, she would feel a burn in her throat when he was near.
Ivy wasn't an idiot. She knew the reason why it was his blood that she wanted, that made her throat ache in a way that was so painful. She understood it so well that it made her heart ache in the same way.
At first, she wondered why. Out of all the times, why did she just start desiring it? When she flipped through her memories, she felt like it should've happened so long ago.
And then she remembered that her sense of smell had heightened to incredible levels, that no matter how much of a master she was at deceiving herself, she couldn't lie to her primal instincts.
She couldn't just pretend that she couldn't smell it, not when it called out to her like a caressing mantra crafted with her name.
She was so afraid that one day, she'd lose control.
"Ivy-san?"
The soft, tentative voice jolted the vampire hunter out of her thoughts, and she immediately turned towards the sound of that familiar voice. Although she still couldn't see, she could so very clearly imagine the brunette Pureblood Princess that stood in front of her. Her heart thudded almost too violently to be normal.
"Good afternoon," Ivy greeted, a faint smile in her voice. Right away, her mind ran through a handful of scenarios in which the vampire would need anything from her, but she kept running into blanks. None of them seemed to fit.
"Zero isn't with you?" The quiet wariness in Yuuki's voice automatically made Ivy more cautious.
Shaking her head once slowly, Ivy kept the small upwards tilt of her lips as she answered, "He's currently at the Association headquarters for business right now, unfortunately. If you're looking for him though, I was told he'd be back in maybe an hour?" She tried to mask the surprise that entered her system at the thought of Yuuki actively looking for Zero—from what she'd witnessed, their interactions for almost six months now had been minimal.
A tiny, nearly sheepish laugh escaped Yuuki in tinkles. "Actually, the one I'm looking for is you, Ivy-san."
"Oh. Is that so?" It tumbled out of her lips with surprise and confusion, dread staying on the tip of her tongue. She felt it deep in her stomach as well—something was unsettling about the entire thing. It was beyond rare for any Pureblood to seek her out for any reason at all. Even Shoto Seiichi didn't look for her himself; it was always his followers that came for her, or he exerted his power over her using the blood inside her system.
"Yes," replied Yuuki, bringing Ivy back down to earth. There was an apologetic tone to her voice as she asked, "Is now a good time to talk or...?"
"Now is fine," Ivy confirmed with a little welcoming laugh. She tried to shake off the trepidation and anxiety that cloaked her as a grand royal cape. "What is it?"
"I just wanted to let you know... about a decision that was made while you were unconscious and recovering." Solemnity and heaviness seemed to weigh down the Pureblood's usual tone. Although her voice had become more refined after awakening—from what she gathered from Kaien, Yagari, and Kaito, at least—the darker note that tainted her tone this time was different.
A few different hypothetical situations flashed through Ivy's mind, her body instinctively tensing as if she was preparing herself for a physical blow. She felt her heart rate pick up to run along the beat of apprehension, and she waited patiently, encouragingly, for the brunette to continue on.
"Kaname and I... We're going to get married in a little over three month's time."
Silence.
Her words knocked Ivy into a stunned stupor where her entire mind was slated clean—there was no explosion of thoughts that ricocheted off one another, no single prominent thought that would force its way through to her mouth. Her emotions, as well, were wiped down to nothing except being dazed. Everything that was implied within those words didn't quite register within Ivy's mind for a few moments, but when they did, it was like hell had broken loose inside her.
A million things ran through her head. There were so many questions, so many concerns, so many different things she wanted to say, so many things she wanted to do. Her emotions ran over one another like bulldozers over and over again, new feelings springing up with every newly emerging thought. She was a mess of everything, and she struggled with herself to keep everything together.
She tried to remind herself how to breathe, how to keep her heart beating.
And when anger was the one emotion that kept flashing through her eyes, she tried to remind herself that blowing up would not do anything for her.
However, the galaxy of scattered thoughts and emotions soon formed coherent constellations—in fact, it didn't take too much to get herself altogether again. After all, she'd always thought about this possibility between the two Purebloods. If she'd taken Yuuki's "choice" seriously, then it would only be natural to assume that the two would get married and bear children. The reason why she'd been thrown into such a chaotic state was simply just because she hadn't been expecting it at all. She hadn't seen any indication of planning a wedding or even caught wind of marriage from the two, let alone having it be so soon.
The first thing that came out of Ivy's mouth after hearing that was a grave, "Are you sure that you want to get married so soon?"
"I already know that I'll be spending the rest of my life with Kaname," Yuuki answered softly, slowly. Ivy could almost see the expression that decorated the beautiful girl's features. "Having an official marriage will secure the vampire world a bit more."
"But how do you know?" Ivy asked, no smile on her face or in her voice. She felt something like indignity, anger, and frustration welling up inside of her, bubbling, boiling and nearly spilling over. "Even though I know you've made a choice to be with Kaname, I've seen you and Zero together."
"Zero and I are merely acquaintances now," was Yuuki's firm, yet melancholic-sounding response.
"You don't go from being in love with one another to merely acquaintances in just a few months like that," Ivy retorted, keeping her tone carefully blank and neutral. She thought back to the past few days—had Zero already known, even before she woke up? She nearly shook her head, because of course he did. How could he not know? Yuuki had mentioned it was a decision made while she was unconscious, so she must be the only one left out of the loop.
A part of her was so angry that he acted like nothing was wrong, like this news meant nothing to him.
How big of an idiot was he?
"What kind of relationship Zero and I currently have is nothing of concern, and it shouldn't affect what I have with Kaname." Despite the calmness that was in those words, Ivy could hear the underlying warning, the uneasiness, the fear.
"Then what's the hurry?" Absentmindedly, her hands began to curl into fists at her sides. "If you aren't worried about being caught in between the two of them, why are you hurrying to officially tie yourself to Kaname? Being married will not cause that much more security than what is present regardless."
There was almost an undertone of accusation when the Kuran spoke. "Why are you so insistent that my choice is incorrect, Ivy-san?"
And she couldn't even believe she was being asked this, because by now, the answer was clear to everyone. She inhaled, felt the burn of Yuuki's piercing gaze, exhaled. Evaded her feelings, spoke in a whisper. "Because he is so, so in love with you."
Their quiet breaths could be heard lingering in the distance between them, severed by stillness.
"... You don't know that for sure," Yuuki said eventually. Despite how silently the words left her lips, they sounded loud in the hush that had enveloped them—to Ivy, it sounded like breaking and tearing and cracking and shattering.
Slowly, the Tashiro shook her head. In the back of her mind, she registered that it had started to drizzle lightly. She felt the misting of the raindrops fall along her skin like angel dust. "But I do know for sure."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because I've seen the way he looks at you, the way he struggles all the time to keep himself in control so that he doesn't ruin what you have with Kaname. I've seen him put you above everyone and everything else time and time again, over and over and over again, even if it hurts him more than anything. There's always this sadness in his eyes, this guilt. Everything that seems to embody the Zero that we see now is because he is suffering because of you, for you." Ivy felt her throat close, thinking about how she had heard him shifting around during those sleepless nights. Her voice was barely audible as she repeated, "He is so, so in love with you."
"Things change," Yuuki murmured. There was a sadness in her voice that made Ivy's heart drop six feet deep into to ground.
"They do," Ivy agreed. "But his heart hasn't."
"You can't guarantee that," was the brunette's protest. "He met you—"
"And I could never win against you," Ivy softly interrupted in a breath. She felt part of her heart cave into itself, felt sadness fill the crook that had formed. She didn't realize just how much it hurt to breathe until it felt like her rib cage was creaking with each inhale, each exhale.
Yuuki shook her head. "It isn't a competition."
"You're right, it isn't. Because you'd already won before I even got to the start line."
The Kuran Princess' voice rose with insistence and frustration as she exclaimed, "That isn't the case!"
Instinctively, Ivy tensed and bit back, "You can't deny the fact that he's been in love with you for years, or that you feel the same way towards him. I've seen it, and I can feel it—the broken pieces of your relationship lying on the floor that neither of you dare to pick up, and it hurts me to see the mess. If I could, I would just pick it all up for you guys and redo the puzzle for you, but I can't."
"We don't need you fixing our relationship for us," Yuuki retorted. From the sound of her words, Ivy guessed that she had her lips pressed into a thin line by now. "There's no need to fix anything."
Letting out a small, humourless laugh, Ivy shook her head again. Once more, her fists tightened at her sides, clutching at the ends of her dress. "That's a lie and we both know it."
"Please stop assuming things that you don't quite know yourself," Yuuki said, trying to maintain a calm tone.
"I know, because I'm so incredibly in love with him," she choked out of her closing throat, her voice so quiet but her words so ridiculously loud. Ivy heard her racing heartbeat, heard the roaring of her pulse in her ears, begin to slow. The adrenaline-filled thrumming inside her system began to dull into feather-soft tinkles, the tension in her body relaxing. Somehow, she felt so calm and relieved—almost as if she had been wanting to admit it out loud for the longest time and just didn't know it yet until the moment it happened. It was like she had been granted release from a prison she didn't even know she'd been encaged within, and rather than being flustered or upset with her confession, she could only feel tranquility and satisfaction for having finally done it.
For a while, neither of them said anything.
Swallowing the lump that she didn't even know had grown in her throat, Ivy raised her chin almost defiantly and challenged, "Can you say confidently, with complete and utter honesty, that you are not at all in love with him?"
A heartbeat of silence tripping over two and being caught by three, four, five.
Silence seemed to take its sweet, sweet time.
Yuuki's whisper could barely be heard through the wind, and it was remorseful. "No."
A small branch broke to their left, and they both jolted at the sound. A soft, quiet voice emerged with a familiar presence. "What are you saying?"
Ivy felt her heart leap to her throat as her head turned simultaneously with Yuuki's to face the male that had crept into their conversation with neither of them knowing it. They had been so consumed with the topic at hand, so wrapped in their own world and chained to their own thoughts that they hadn't even realized he was there.
Ivy wondered how much he had heard, wondered how long he had been there.
And after a moment in which time seemed to freeze, there was a gasp from the beautiful Pureblood, followed by a murmured apology and running footsteps. He called after her, and Ivy sensed his second's worth of hesitation, but that was all it was—a second's worth. And then his footsteps followed after the brunette's, leaving her alone in that clearing wondering why she even bothered to hope that maybe, just maybe, he'd choose to stay with her for even a little bit.
So she found herself running, running, running. She ran to clear her mind of everything and anything. Her feet carried her in the opposite direction that the princess and her knight had gone, running and pounding against the wet, slick pavement. She ran, stumbling when her memory failed her about cracks along the cement, barely even wincing when the cold water from the puddles splashed on her. She ran and ran until she felt the earth slide sideways and she staggered due to the disorientation. Crashing ungracefully into a thick tree trunk, Ivy felt herself gasping for air that she didn't know she needed. Her chest seemed to clench, and her abdomen felt like it was being torn apart. There was pain in her limbs, pain that she felt through the numbness.
The world seemed to shake, and she found herself swaying unsteadily on her feet. She propped a hand up against the trunk, attempting to steady herself and regain her balance, but it seemed so futile. She felt like someone was trying to rip her scalp apart to get to her brain, and her eyes began to ache like there was something pressing at them from both the outside and the inside. She heard a high-pitched ringing sound, but she didn't know where it was coming from or why it was there.
She realized her hands were quivering. She hadn't even noticed that she was soaked to the bone until that moment—the drizzle that had fallen earlier had darkened into heavy sheets, and she was soaked to the bone in her dress and coat. Her strands of hair stuck to her face, but she made no move to shove them away because all she could think about was how to breathe and think and keep standing.
She felt so numb, but she felt so cold and so much pain.
Her mind began to spin, and she didn't know how to make it stop.
And so she fell.
"Where's Ivy?" Kaito asked as he entered the kitchen, rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows before grabbing an apple off the basket sitting on the island. He leaned against the counter across from the silver-haired hunter who'd been sitting there for the past hour and a half, his head in his hands. He looked deep in thought, but whatever plagued his mind didn't seem good, because his lips were pulled into a scowl and his eyebrows were knitted together.
Kaito could only say that he felt as though Zero was incredibly distressed.
And yet, upon hearing the Tashiro's name, the young man froze. Kaito saw the muscles tensing in his system, could see the stiffness that entered his frame. His head lifted slowly, yet his lavender eyes met Kaito's hazel ones immediately.
"You haven't run into her?" Zero asked slowly, carefully.
The implications that Kaito were picking up did not suit his fancy. His body also tensing, he answered warily, "No, I haven't."
Amethyst eyes shut closed, and an exhale left Zero's lips heavily, almost angrily. But before he could get a word out, the doorbell to the dorm rang. Zero didn't even look up at the sound, his fists clenching together instead.
"I'll get it. Stay here, we'll talk about what's up your ass after I deal with the person at the door," Kaito instructed, pushing himself off the counter he'd been resting against. He made his way over to the door, pulling it open, fully expecting a student that came to ask a question.
And a student was definitely there, just as he predicted. What he didn't expect, however, was the student to radiate deadly anger and to be soaked to the bone with a certain unconscious vampire lying in his arms.
Instantly, Kaito cursed as he reached for her. "What happened?"
However, Kenta pulled her out of his grasp and demanded, his grey eyes sharp, "Where is he?"
The tawny-haired hunter was just about to inquire who this "he" was, but he didn't need to.
Zero rounded the corner, halfway through mentioning something about needing to head outside, but stopped short completely when he saw who was at the door. He stilled in his spot, his sentence breaking in half with the latter part left unfinished, unsaid. His eyes widened faintly before his expression twisted into a scowl.
Stormy eyes narrowed the second they landed on the tall vampire hunter. They ignited and flared brighter, fiercer, with every step Zero took towards them. "What," Kenta gritted through his teeth, "excuse do you have as to why I found her lying unconscious on the ground, already soaked through, her body burning with a ridiculous fever, when she's still recovering from whatever the hell it is that happened before?"
Meeting Kenta's furious gaze with a carefully expressionless one, Zero took a few brief moments to answer with a simple, "I don't have an excuse."
"Right." Kenta barked out a bitter, bitter laugh. "An explanation then, if you would."
Before Zero could say anything, Kaito interrupted solemnly with a sharp, "Can we get her fixed up and resting in bed before you guys continue yapping your mouths? I get that you're pissed as all hell, but clearly we need to keep our priorities in check." His eyes darted between the two younger males, and when neither of them objected, he nodded his head. "Zero, can you bring Ivy back up—"
"No," Kenta cut Kaito off tightly. Lips pressed into a thin line, he stated, "I'll take her."
Already understanding what this was about, and refusing to spark further bad blood between the two, Kaito merely nodded his head in agreement. "Her room is upstairs—it's down the hall and to your right. I'm going to call her doctor immediately."
Nodding stiffly in understanding, Kenta made his way into the dorm, not even glancing at Zero as he passed by the other student. He slipped his shoes off with ease, and continued his trek up the stairs, being extra careful with spacing. He carried the small girl in his arms like she was the most fragile thing he had ever touched, like he was scared that any wrong move would shatter everything that made her.
Kaito watched him for just a moment before glancing over at Zero, whose gaze surely burned noticeably into the Day Class student's back. Rather than saying anything, he merely slammed the front door shut and then made his way over to where the phone was, immediately dialing the number of Ivy's personal doctor that was to monitor her healing process. Today was the only day off she'd gotten in a while, and guilt trickled into Kaito's system at the unfortunate luck that was on her side.
Even after confirming the quick arrival of the doctor, no words were exchanged between Zero and Kaito—the current Association President looked as though he was in immense conflict and turmoil with himself, giving off the impression that he didn't want to talk to anyone about it. The two of them had been together long enough for the hazel-eyed student teacher to know that whatever problem Zero was facing, right now, he just didn't want to talk to anyone about it.
So they merely sat in silence.
Kaito didn't head back up to check in with Kenta and Ivy—he'd never seen the Day Class student so irritated and freely displeased before. The grey-eyed human had always been quite shy and soft-spoken, despite being surrounded with friends and teammates that so clearly adored him. He had always been clothed in water and submerged in earth. Seeing him donning fire was so foreign to Kaito that, to be honest, it threw him off his game a bit.
Especially because he knew the reason for this whole thing was because of a certain girl.
So the atmosphere stayed brimming with tension even as the doctor came and rushed upstairs, shooing Kenta fiercely out of the room. The athlete had no choice but to make his way downstairs, where the tension exploded upon his arrival. Hostility tainted the silence that sat in between the three males, and while Kaito was merely a spectator, he still felt as though he was being suffocated by the heavy air.
Eventually, Zero finally broke the silence with a terse, "If you have something you want to say, then say it."
Shoulders squaring, Kenta's lips twisted into a grimace for a second before straightening into a line. His tone was a controlled calm this time when he spoke, the obvious fury being tucked away. The strain in every word he spoke, however, gave away how he really felt. "The two of you were practically glued together the past few days. How did she end up being safely guided by you to unconscious outside on the floor?"
Kaito knew why Zero had been away, but he remained silent and observing. It wasn't as if Zero was a baby—the President knew how to fight his own battles. Or, well, he damn better know how to, if he was the one who'd lead the Association.
It took Zero a moment to answer, and when he did, his reply threw both Kenta and Kaito off. Eyes downcast and a self-loathing glint in his lavender eyes that Kaito knew so well, the vampire hunter admitted quietly, "I made a mistake."
A heartbeat, two, three, and then Kenta asked cautiously, "What mistake?"
Another moment as Zero closed his eyes. "I didn't say anything. I didn't stay. And I should have."
Surprise slapped Kaito in the face, because every hint and gesture that he was picking up from Zero was suggesting the idea that Zero had been there before Ivy passed out—he was making it sound as though what he had done led to her current state, and that bewildered Kaito. He had seen how much care the younger hunter gave to Ivy, how attentive he was and how cautious. It was so incredibly unusual for Zero to be thoughtless about something as important and significant as her health. He couldn't think of anything that would've distracted the silver-haired hunter enough to create such a hitch in his thoughts.
Until Kaito realized it probably hadn't been something, but rather someone. And right away, his lips thinned, his hazel eyes hardened, and his heartbeat slowed into a deep, dark beat that he felt shake his bones.
Kenta surveyed Zero carefully for a moment, the stiffness still very noticeable in his shoulders and his rigid posture. He stood directly across from Zero, only a few steps away and the island table between them. Although there was no way Kenta could've known exactly what had happened based off such vague responses, he probably had a blurry idea of what Zero was talking about.
And from the way his hands clenched into fists at his sides, it was clear to everyone that he was seething.
"What would you have even said?" It came out almost in a scoff of bitterness, but a note of helplessness was also heard. He stared hard at Zero, his eyes a raging tempest. "What could you have possibly brought yourself to actually say that would've changed anything?"
No response came from Zero except for the setting of his jaw. After all, what could he have said that would've made a difference? He didn't know. He was never one for words, was never one to know what to say or what to do. He was the one that always made mistakes, the one that always had bad timing, the one that always said the wrong thing. It was always Ichiru that had that kind of sense. It pained him to think of his twin brother again, to think that even now, he hadn't changed that part of himself that was meant to have been filled by Ichiru.
Shaking his head, Kenta's voice was quiet as he said, "It's obvious that she cares a lot about you, and I'm sure you care about her as well. You're so capable, Kiriyuu, that I felt that maybe she was better off if you took care of her." A pause, a frown. His direct eyes met Zero's. "Now, I'm not so sure, because I know that no matter how badly I would've messed up, it wouldn't have been this bad."
Silence. Zero didn't reply, because what was he supposed to reply with?
"… You either take care of her or you don't," Kenta murmured, though the warning was in his voice. There was a ferocity in his words and eyes. "You don't get to half-ass either choice."
They shared a meaningful gaze for a moment before the Day Class student turned silently on his heels and left the room. It was only when the door to the dorms slammed shut that Zero closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh, his body still tense.
The two hunters stayed that way for few minutes. Kaito observed Zero carefully, the latter absorbed with his own thoughts. He didn't open his eyes when Kaito asked, "Do I even want to know?"
Zero didn't say a word. He didn't even move.
The twenty-two-year-old man blew out a heavy breath, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what the hell happened between all of you, but Aoyama was right about one thing: you were supposed to be taking care of her, Zero."
"… I know," he eventually uttered, his voice full of a silent contempt that he had for himself. "I know."
She was lying unconscious on that bed again.
He didn't need any other reminders.
x
When one of the Level Es he sensed lurking along the ceiling of the abandoned warehouse suddenly screamed, Zero's eyes immediately flashed up to that area. The dust that was its remains fell from the old infrastructure, the sound of the grains hitting the surfaces of objects in their way and landing on the ground was far too loud in the silence of this nest.
His eyes narrowed.
"If you look away, I'll—" A flutter of black cloth from his peripherals, and then he turned casually to see the young prodigy straightening out from the crouch he'd landed in when he'd attacked the Level E that Zero was supposed to have taken out.
Trance swiped at the air, sending any spare sand sticking to Saldius flying off and into the wall. He glanced at Zero with a half-lidded eye and said, "If you get distracted so easily, you'll be dead in no time."
The silver-haired hunter didn't even look behind him as he aimed Bloody Rose over his shoulder and took a shot at the oncoming Level E, knowing he had hit his mark the moment he heard the rhythmic beats of sand. "Why are you here?"
"I finished my mission early." In precise, sharp movements, Trance turned, digging his feet into the ground, and redirected the claws that had been aiming at him. He ducked effortlessly under the other claws, his left hand in the pocket of his pants. And if anyone had blinked, they would've missed the slash of his katar along the vampire's neck. When he finished, he tilted his head back to look at Zero expectantly.
He scowled. "What?"
"The Association President surely has more important things to attend to than conducting a solo raid," Trance answered, nothing in his expression giving his thoughts away. "What are you doing?"
"None of your business," Zero muttered. His eyes scanned the area once more, and upon sensing one of them hiding behind a large metal barrel near the very back of the room, he didn't hesitate to take aim and fire.
Trance scoffed. "Don't give me that bullshit." His one visible eye, the one not obscured by his red bangs, narrowed. "You were fighting with them before I jumped in. Fighting like you were wrestling."
Zero looked away from him, tucking Bloody Rose back into the inner pocket of his trench coat. He didn't answer as he brushed away the dirt and dust that had gotten on him when he'd been knocked off guard at one point earlier and had been tackled to the ground. But other than that, they hadn't presented much of a challenge. None of them had even gotten a single scratch on him.
The young Tashiro broke the silence with words that nearly stopped his heart.
"I heard she got sick."
One heartbeat, two, three heartbeats, four. He let out a breath, running a hand through his locks of silver. "So that's why you came to find me?"
A tense pause, followed by a blunt, "Is that why you were acting like a savage?"
He didn't want to talk about it, didn't even want to think about it. Anything that reminded him of that day immediately brought far too much shame coursing through his veins, but he couldn't forget it. Whenever she was concerned, it was like he could never forget.
He'd caught the question Ivy had posed for Yuuki, had heard the response. When he'd gone looking for the Tashiro after finishing his duties at Headquarters, preparing to berate her about being out and about when she was supposed to be resting, he hadn't been expecting to stumble into such a scene. For whatever reason, when Yuuki had come to him earlier, bringing up her intentions to talk with Ivy, his mind hadn't conjured up the thought that she would make it about him.
But of course she would.
She cared too much for her own damn good.
"I was doing my duty," he evaded tonelessly, taking a step in the direction of the exit.
Trance's arm shot out, and his hand pressed against Zero's sternum unrelentingly, forcing him to a stop. His voice was cold. "You aren't going anywhere."
"I have other things to do," was Zero's calm reply.
"And talking to me is one of them." Trance didn't budge, even when Zero tried to take another step forward.
He knew that, if he truly wanted, he could force his way. Trance was no doubt a genius, and he was every bit as deadly as he was brilliant, but he was still only just under fifteen. He was still a young, young man, not even having gone through his growth spurt yet. And regardless of how much vampiric blood was within the Tashiro line of hunters, it would never be the same as being one.
Yet he knew just how rare it was for Trance to voluntarily seek others out. For more often than not, the Tashiro was like a phantom in the Association. He came and went as frequently as the other hunters, and yet it was like nobody could ever catch a glimpse of him. It was only when you searched and searched for him that you would find him, and that was only if he wanted to be found. Zero understood that desire for solitude, but he didn't entirely approve of it. All the words and advice he'd exchanged with the fourteen-year-old—if he walked away now, would he just be going back on all of it?
Would he be betraying her?
A deep, long sigh escaped him from the very bottom of his heart. "What is it, Trance?"
The Tashiro opened his mouth, paused, closed it shut. Then he opened it again. His words came out quietly, reluctantly. Like he didn't want to ask, but everything inside of him pushed him to. "How is she?"
"She's sleeping in bed." He'd visited her room before he'd left. When he'd entered that room, seeing her sleeping with those IVs hooked up to her again, he almost didn't leave. It was too soon, much too soon, to see her back on those things. It was too soon to have her bedridden, to have her about to slip away again. Kaito had to come into the room and practically drag him out, because he couldn't find it in himself to leave her bedside.
It was his fault that she was in that state again.
It was his fault that she was suffering once more.
He loathed himself for it. There would never be enough words to accurately describe just the way he felt to know that he'd subjected her to more pain. After knowing all that she'd been through, after all that she'd sacrificed for him, why was it that he only seemed to bring her more pain? When she eased him of his, why did it seem like he only created it within her?
As if she healed him by chipping away at parts of herself.
Zero didn't know how to make it stop. He didn't want that of her. He didn't want her to sacrifice herself like that for him, because what would he ever do if she—what would become of him if—
He violently severed his own train of thought.
"Fever?" Trance asked.
"... Yeah."
"How high?"
"Forty-two point seven degrees Celsius."
Immediately, the hand that remained on Zero's chest clenched, bunching up the fabric of the t-shirt he wore. Trance's head whipped up to glare at him, the accusation written in the ice of his green, green eye. "High fevers are only meant to reach forty-one."
His eyes flickered away. "I know." A pause. "Your sister isn't normal."
A disbelieving scoff left him, and the redhead shook his head. Through gritted teeth, he demanded, "Lungs?"
"Working at seventy-one percent."
"Surface injuries?"
"A few scratches here and there."
"Stability?"
"Secure."
"Mental state?"
Zero tensed, his breath coming into his lungs a bit too sharply. He felt Trance's body stiffen immediately, the reaction instinctual. He took a moment to reply. "... She hasn't woken up."
"What?" it came out as a freezing hiss between teeth. Zero didn't flinch at the sharp tone, because he'd already seen it coming. If he'd flinched, it would've meant that he didn't think he did wrong. And he knew that he did.
That day, in that clearing, why hadn't he stayed with her?
"Zero," Trance almost growled. "How. Many. Days?"
Nearly inaudible. "Today's the third."
The fabric of his shirt stretched even more tautly against his body as the anger flared in the young prodigy. "Aren't vampires supposed to be unaffected by colds? Never before have I heard of a vampire getting sick."
"I haven't either," Zero answered honestly, his voice solemn. "I don't know why. We're speculating it's because she isn't born a vampire, and her bodily state has been far too weak recently. Normally vampires that suffer the same wounds that she's had would've died. There's no chance to get sick."
For a couple of minutes, all that could be heard between them was the sound of their breaths. Trance's came out heavy, angry, frustrated. He was absolutely livid, and he wasn't even trying to pretend that he wasn't. Zero was certain that if he'd been any random hunter, he would've already gotten his face smashed in and his arm broken.
And as time dragged on, the electrified atmosphere slowly settling, the hand that gripped the front of his shirt loosened. Trance shook his head roughly, his sigh deep and yet so quiet. He reached into the pocket of his coat, pulling out a little notebook and a pen to accompany it. He began to scribble feverishly along the paper.
Zero remained silent, merely observing. The Association President absentmindedly noted all the differences and similarities between Trance and Ivy. Not only physically, but mentally, emotionally. Behaviourisms. Though he'd undeniably spent more time with Ivy overall, he'd had his fair share of time with the fourth Tashiro child, and he knew him well enough.
If he didn't, Trance wouldn't have trusted him to take care of her.
Had Zero failed him, too?
Ripping the sheet out of the notebook, the Tashiro shoved the paper into his chest. He took it carefully, his eyes flitting over the contents. Despite how he'd written it hastily, the characters were still very legible and elegant. It seemed to be trait in their family—with the exception of Lydia, whose chicken scrawl was really truly chicken scrawl—that their printing was always so easy on the eyes.
It was a recipe.
Zero's gaze was questioning as he looked up at the hunter.
"It's a special soup that Satoshi makes when someone falls ill," Trance explained in mutters. "It's a pain in the ass to make, but very effective."
"I see," he murmured, folding the recipe up gingerly and then tucking it into the inner pocket of his coat. He made a mental note inside of his mind to go grocery shopping before he headed back to the Academy later that night. "She's going to ask."
"It's Satoshi's recipe," was Trance's forcefully indifferent reply.
Zero scrutinized him carefully for a moment, reading the expressions that hid underneath the cold, hard-set mask. He caught the flickers of thoughts that appeared in the fourteen-year-old's eyes.
"... OK," he eventually agreed.
Trance merely gave a terse nod before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat. Saldius had long been returned into his restricted form, and as the redhead began taking steps towards the exit, Zero merely watched him.
Until he couldn't anymore.
The words left him unwillingly. "You aren't going to ask me what happened?"
The genius halted in his steps, half-turning to throw a glance over his shoulder. "You wouldn't tell me even if I asked." Taking Zero's silence as a sign of confirmation, Trance shook his head and sighed again. He ran a hand through his dark red hair, pushing his bangs back for the brief moment in which he turned his gaze back to the older man. The signature Tashiro eyes of their generation, green and gold, glowed in the dimly lit warehouse.
Tashiro eyes, but not hers.
"It wasn't your fault." They held eyes for another couple of moments, the magnitude of Trane's words rushing over him, before the Tashiro broke eye contact and turned back to the door, his hand dropping back to his side. "Don't you have other shit to do?"
Lavender eyes blinked, feeling something take a hold of his heart.
He placed one foot in front of the other.
"Excuse me, is someone there?" Ivy asked, even though she already knew the answer. She figured it would be too unnerving to be able to have such confidence in a quiet presence, given the state of her eyes. After all, she was supposed to be human. Even after resting a few days, her body still felt weak and her fever still lingered, but she was well enough to sense a human girl a few meters within her radius.
Nervous, hesitant laughter. "Yes. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you or anything."
"You didn't frighten me," Ivy replied, chuckling a bit under her breath at the thought of being scared by someone who sounded so utterly shy. She smiled. "What brings you all the way here?"
Though she really should've been in bed resting, Ivy had desperately wanted some fresh air, so she'd went for a walk. She was currently along the thickly forested—and only—path that led to the Dawn Dorms when she'd realized someone unfamiliar was approaching. It was quite odd to have students come for a visit, especially alone like this person was. The dense, slightly looming forest was often found to be intimidating.
"I-I was just… I thought…" The embarrassment could be heard in the human's tone.
Ivy already had an inkling as to why she was on her way to the Dawn Dorms—when female students came to their building, it usually involved one of the handsome men that resided there. Deciding not to press, she asked instead, "May I know your name? Sorry, I'd just like to see if I can put your voice to a face. It's still a bit odd to talk to someone I'm not familiar with."
"Sorry!" was the slightly horrified exclamation. Ivy could hear the swish of her clothes as she bowed and introduced, "My name is Shindo. Shindo Nadeshiko. I—I'm already aware of who you are. It's really great to actually meet you, Ivy-san."
"You as well," the vampire murmured. She wracked her brain for a face to put with the name and voice, rummaging through her limited, terrible memory. It took her a little while, but she was able to eventually recall an incredibly adorable Day Class student with brown-blond hair tied into pigtail braids and blue eyes barely concealed by her glasses. Ivy had noticed her on a few occasions staring at Zero whenever the hunter passed by, leading her to believe the reason for Nadeshiko's visit was for him.
"Are you heading anywhere in particular?" Nadeshiko asked curiously, no malice in her tone. There was no hint of darker intentions, though Ivy didn't expect that at all from the girl. Even in the fleeting glimpses she'd gotten of the student, she'd sensed a pureness, an innocence, that was hard to find within people.
"No, I just wanted some fresh air. I love the smell of winter and trees." A tiny laugh. "Is that weird?"
"Not at all!" Nadeshiko hastily reassured her, laughing a bit as well. "It's nice, it's just…"
Ivy's head tilted, her strands of hair falling over one shoulder. "It's just?"
"Are you sure you're well enough to be walking around on your own?" Through the hesitance, her concern lined every syllable. Quickly, as if having said something controversial that needed clarification, she explained, "The Day Class students have noticed your absence, and Takamiya-sensei mentioned how you weren't feeling well, so…"
The vampire hunter was surprised to hear that—to hear that people were talking about her absence so much that Kaito needed to step up and say something. After all, none of the hunters at Cross Academy cared much about silly rumours, as long as they didn't come close to touching the secrets of the school. For the most part, Kaito tried his best to stay away from gossip and didn't care much of it. The fact that it reached his ears was surprising. He had a talent for blocking out chatter he deemed unimportant.
"Is that so?" she murmured thoughtfully, her lips curling up just slightly to offer reassurance. "I'm OK, thank you so much for asking. I mean, at the very least, I'm not going to be fainting here." She laughed a bit.
"I'm glad to hear that," the taller girl said, giggling slightly. Sensing that Nadeshiko wanted to say more, Ivy remained silent, simply tilting her head up to where she could imagine the tree branches hanging over them. It took a few moments of hesitation before the girl asked tentatively, "Is something wrong?"
Caught off guard at the question, Ivy snapped her head over to where she knew the Day Class student stood. Confusion was in her voice. "What makes you ask that?"
"Sorry for being so nosy—I might not even be reading things right, I just…" the human girl paused, swallowed. Her voice was tinged with sheepishness as she finished quietly, "I just think you look kind of sad, Ivy-san. You don't seem as cheerful as usual."
"Oh," was the genius reply that she could come up with. She didn't know what to say to that, because she wasn't even sure how she felt. There was so much turmoil within her, and regardless of how many days she'd had to sort it out while she'd been bedridden, she still hadn't made a dent in the mass of tangled emotions.
Ever since that day when Zero appeared at the clearing during Yuuki and her talk, there was a hard-pressed emotion stamped into her heart. She couldn't wipe it off, no matter how hard she tried to, and it weighed heavily in her chest. No matter how unreasonable she tried to convince herself she was being, Ivy couldn't help but be hurt. And she felt like an idiot for feeling such a way. After all, the Kuran princess was the one that he was in love with, was the one where his loyalties ultimately rested in. It had been so incredibly stupid of her to have hoped, even for a second, that maybe he wouldn't go after Yuuki.
She had wanted him to stay.
With her.
Admitting her feelings out loud for him—and to the Pureblood Princess no less—had lifted something inside of her. It was like a burden had gone, because now Yuuki knew how she felt. She no longer needed to feel like she was keeping a dirty secret, like she was trying to discreetly sabotage their relationship and be the other woman. She wanted the Kuran to know, to keep that in mind. Not to guilt the brunette, but just so that both their feelings were open to one another. Her honesty with her feelings had been reciprocated likewise with the Pureblood, and that was all she could've asked from her.
Just some kind of honest acknowledgement of her feelings for him.
If Zero had heard her own confession, he didn't show any inclination of it. He never brought it up when they spoke after she woke up, never said anything about it.
It had been so awkward for her. The moment she woke up and sensed him there, guilty and grave, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep. Seeing him had brought a rush of happiness, then brought a crash of sadness and hurt again, and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to act normal around him, to be as she always was, because regardless of what he heard or what he did, everything should be normal.
But it hurt her so much more than she thought it would, and she found it hard to be normal.
It wasn't even as if he had breached her trust. He hadn't betrayed her or anything at all. There was no guilt, no shame, no anything in what he had done. He'd gone after the person he loved; that was a beautiful thing. And yet, for some reason, Ivy felt like he'd done something to hurt her and had betrayed her in that way. It was absolutely ridiculous, and she knew it. She told herself that all the time, repeated to herself that she was being unfair and stupid, but her heart was never a listener to her mind.
The voice of Nadeshiko broke Ivy out of her reverie and brought her back down to earth. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Shaking her head, Ivy let out a slight laugh through the constricted feeling that had overcome her lungs. "No," she murmured, "there isn't anything really wrong." A pause, and then she asked, "How about yourself? You're wandering around here, in the area so many people tend to avoid. Are you trying to escape from something troubling you?"
"No!" was the reply, much too hasty and urgent to be truthful. As if realizing her mistake, the student let out a soft groan and then relented, "Maybe. Sort of. It's nothing big! I just—I just wanted to walk around, too."
"I'm here to listen if you want to talk," Ivy offered, smiling softly at her. "I have a lot of time on my hands, and I'd love to try and help in any way possible."
"No, no, it's OK!" Nadeshiko protested hurriedly, shyly. There was an embarrassed note in her voice. "It isn't really anything that you can help me with, per say. It's just—you know how people can be. Sometimes you just don't get along with certain people, and it's not anybody's fault, really, it's just… yeah…"
Oh, did Ivy know. The smile on her face turned almost wry as she thought about all the people that didn't click with her, that hated her. "Yeah, I know what that's like. It can be so hard sometimes. I don't know if you want to hear my two cents, but… From my experience, I think it's best not to take anything they say to heart. I think it's important to believe in yourself, to believe in who you want yourself to be and strive to be."
She could hear Nadeshiko nodding her head vigorously in agreement. "Yeah! I believe in that too. I already know what she's telling me is meant to hurt me, so I try not to take it to heart, it's just… Sometimes I wonder about what she says. I'm not doubting myself exactly, I just…" she trailed off.
"If you don't mind me asking, what does she say?" Ivy inquired curiously.
The sound of blood rushing through the human's body rang in Ivy's ears. She imagined the blush that delicately painted the student's face, and she stammered out, "I-I… Um."
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." A light, amused laugh.
"It's not that, I—" she laughed in embarrassment, the sound high and endearing. "It's just… Well… I just—Ahhh, I can't say it." The last part of her sentence was muffled, sounding both mortified yet happy at the same time. More blood rushing to her cheeks. From that, Ivy gleaned that whatever it was, it probably wasn't anything that normally brought sadness into the girl's life.
The Tashiro already had a presumption of what the problem may be—her affections for a certain stoic silver-haired hunter, and the other students. It wasn't hard to guess why others would bother the girl about her feelings for Zero. She wasn't shouting it for the world to hear, but she'd made some pretty bold moves before that other girls were surely envious about.
It seemed like everyone loved Zero, and none of them could have him.
Ivy couldn't help but let that heartbreaking thought wash over her bones.
"I think you should do whatever you want to do," Ivy said eventually. "Whatever that may be, even if people tell you that you shouldn't or that you're weird or that the odds are against you. I think it takes a lot of courage to not give two shits what people say, and to do you. I think it's wonderful, and brave, and so strong."
It took a moment for Nadeshiko to respond. "… Do you think you're like that?"
"... No," Ivy replied honestly, her smile small and somewhat sad. "But I'm trying."
"I think you are. Strong, I mean. And brave. And wonderful. And I think that maybe you just don't see it," the girl whispered. "A lot of people in the Day Class look up to you. I don't know if you've noticed, but... So many people admire you and want to be friends with you. People always say how Aoyama-kun is so lucky to be your friend. You're so down to earth, so real. I think you're so amazing, Ivy-san. I think that's why everyone has been asking about you. We all want to see you around and about."
Something caught in Ivy's chest then, and she felt something barricade her throat. She felt her eyes burn beneath the bandages that obscured them, the warmth descending down her spine and to her toes. She hadn't known that. She hadn't known what other people thought of her; she simply assumed they thought she was like any other Night Class student, like another face in the crowd. To hear that people admired her—it was something that she'd never even fathomed before.
It warmed her, but it hurt her to know that she was lying to all these people. To know that these people saw her as someone, as something, that she wasn't. She wasn't like them—she wasn't even like the Night Class students. She was like nothing they had ever seen, nothing like they would ever know.
She wasn't even sure why people looked up to her. She wasn't anything special. She was a little bit weirder than most others, she'd admit that, but she wasn't the kindest person around. She wasn't the most beautiful, the most talented, the most anything, really.
She was just her.
A mess of broken pieces glued and taped back together, on the verge of crumbling all over again.
She didn't—couldn't—see what they saw.
But she smiled, because even so, just hearing that made her feel like she was more. "Thank you."
A / N:
I didn't realize how long this chapter was until I was doing a brief edit of it and was like, damn. I actually wondered if I needed to cut something out, but then I realized that every scene in here exists for a reason.
LIKE THE KENTA VS. ZERO STANDOFF, GUISE? Writing it was a little bit painful for me, because it was so weird to see Kenta asserting himself, but I think it was needed. And besides, Zero needed someone to lay it out for him. So yeah. HAHAHA.
Also, TRANCE AND ZERO? I think a lot of people were curious about the way Trance interacted with others when Ivy wasn't around, and this was a little insight into it. Admittedly, Zero's kind of a special case, but still. Clearly Trance is still kind of a little shit, but y'know. I don't know if you guys can tell, but there's a very distinct difference in the way he acts when she isn't around. LOL. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
But anyway.
IVY.
That's all I can say about her. LOL. Dear lord.
But also, Nadeshiko! I'm actually so happy to finally have included her into this story, because you guys have no idea how cute I thought she was in the actual VK manga. It killed me a little bit because she never really had a place here in this story, but I'm basically forcing space for her. LOL. I had a few ideas of what I wanted with her, and I'm ecstatic to finally be executing them. Huehuehue. I hope that she wasn't too OOC; she isn't really shown much in the manga, so I kind of just inferred and whatnot, but yeah. I hope you liked her appearance! ;D
Too many things happened in this chapter. I really don't know why I fit it all into one, BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT!
LOTS OF LOVE AND THANKS TO;
XxAnnax3, kalmaegi, lizy2000, charlene171990, Momochan77, Guest, Tokine8696, Jade Starlight, sirenmergirl, Guest, Guest, SeptemberEnding, and sasusakufan2357
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, you lovely human beans (:
Also, thank you so much to everyone that alerted and favourited! (:
RESPONSES, LEGGO!
To kalmaegi;
HAHA, HAVE YOU BEEN? Sometimes I indulge myself with the tracks you chose. HNNG. It makes me think about them, which can be a good and bad thing. LOL. I don't need to start shedding tears on the bus about my fictional characters.
Policies about EX5, eh? (; (;
LOL, WERE YOU GLAD TO SEE KENTA IN THIS CHAPTER TOO? He wasn't his usual cute self. Did you appreciate him being less cute and more, like, BAM? I thought it was nice to see a different side of him. I feel like if he hadn't met Ivy, he wouldn't have ever gathered enough courage to be confrontational. NOT THAT SHE TEACHES HIM TO BE CONFRONTATIONAL. Just, y'know. LOL.
How do you remember these characters? HAHA. I mean, it's not like I forgot them, but I made them, so it's totally different. How are you able to recall all of these OCs when I have, like, eighty of them?! Even if you reread, they make like the briefest of appearances, but you remember. IT'S SO IMPRESSIVE?
Zero and Yuuki, are just... Well, after this chapter, the mess only seemed to get a bit bigger. Oops. HAHA,,, ha?
Thank you for always being so faithful and sharing with me your thoughts! YOU'RE ALWAYS SO QUICK, TOO LOL. It amazes me, and it makes me happy, and asdfghjkl.
Thank you (: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter of rollercoaster scenes! HAHA
To Tokine8696;
DID YOU REALLY? LOL. Wasn't Catching Sunlight—chapter 35—one of the, like, most traumatic things to have been written in this story? Why do you do that to yourselffff. But yes, I finally updated, and with such a packed chapter, too! ;D
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement! The third POV has been hard just because there's so many characters, and I hate always using their names. So trying to find alternatives is hard, especially when like... Half of them in the conversation or scene share similar traits or characteristics, so you can't use any of them. LOL. But other than that, I think it's been a fun little experiment. I don't think it'll go on for too many more chapters, so I'll be able to spare everyone from the confusion or awkward writing. Thanks so much for bearing through it HAHA.
MORE DEVELOPMENT HERE. YES. Isn't it so great. Not even just Zero, but like there's just so much going on here. LOL.
I love that scene between Zero and Ivy when she first woke up. My heart basically bursts. But it makes me so sad when I think about how it's essentially the only moment where Zero let himself show something so tender? Does that make sense? It's like, yeah, he's been nice to her before and she's touched his face or whatever, but this was the one time where he willingly displayed his own signs of affection. And it will probably be the only time.
Until they get together. ;D
LOL, SHIT AIN'T HITTING THE FAN YET, but prepare yourself. It'll happen... eventually.
UGH, I know exactly what you mean! I don't know what it is about this year that's been so crazy, but I'm so glad we're finally done! You are done by now, right? Please tell me you are. HAHA.
Thank you so much for being so kind and for understanding! You're always such a pleasure to hear from, and I always get this goofy smile on my face whenever I read your comments. It's—you're—lovely. So thank you so much for sticking through with me and for being so faithful! I appreciate you so much (:
I hope that you enjoyed this whirlwind chapter of Heterochromia! (:
To Jade Starlight;
Thank you for investing so much time into this story! My god, I write such long chapters that I'm sure getting through 36 of them wasn't an hour-long thing. HAHAHA. I'm so glad that you managed to pick up on things that were missed before, though! I feel like it's always so satisfying when you reread something and you just notice so much more about it.
She didn't really do anything between that time! It's why I didn't write about it. LOL. The time between the hunter tests and the time she asked them to lock her up had been very, very normal. It was a slow process of Seiichi slowly creeping up on Ivy, and she didn't realize it. As for her arrest, I can't really say anything, because I feel like it might be spoiling things a little bit. HAHA.
But this chapter revealed what Yuuki had told Zero about, and ugh. UGH. So I know I made them do this, but a part of me is still so mad about it. HNNG.
I finally updated, so I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter! So much happened in this chapter that I don't even really know what to say; I just hope that it wasn't too crazy and sporadic! Thank you so much for always sharing your thoughts with me and being so incredibly lovely. I love hearing from you, and I appreciate you so much. You've been with me for so long. HNNG. Thank you, thank you, thank you! (:
To sasusakufan2357;
LMAO. YOU THINK SO? Everyone except for Ivy and Zero think so. And maybe Yuuki. Ugh, it kind of kills me on the inside. I'm sure it's kind of eating away at everyone reading, too. It's like WE CAN ALL SEE IT HAPPENING, BUT WHY IS HE SO DENSE? It pains me. LOL. I'm apologetic for the slow-burn, but at the same time, I'm not. HAHAHA.
Do you want their ship name to be Zevy? LOL. I actually never really thought about it, but Zevy sounds nice.
PLEASE. I CAN'T GET INTO HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE VK MANGA AGAIN. I already did enough of a rant during my A/N at the beginning of the chapter LOL. But yo, for real. I am so damn pissed about it. I used to think that maybe I liked her better with Kaname too, but then after I read the extra chapters, I'm like NOPE. NOOOOOPE. I very strongly stand by my sentiments that she did not deserve either of them at all. I have no preference between her and Kaname and her and Zero because her in a relationship at all shouldn't exist. ;A;
I'm glad you love Ivy so much! It makes me so, so happy when people tell me they like her LOL. Because I know what it's like to read something even though you hate the main character, and lemme tell you, it ain't that much fun. So thank god that most people seem to like, or at the very least be neutral, with her.
Trance is a funny one. He's... LOL. He's not going to be talking with her more. BUT that doesn't mean that what Zero said didn't change anything about him, or that he didn't listen to Zero. He's a hard individual to really explain, but eventually, Trance and Ivy will hash it out. It'll be a while until then, but everything about them will be revealed eventually, so I hope you stick with me and stay tuned for that!
Uh... I mean, this chapter answered your question! HAHA. Ivy's the one who realized it first, but she can't stop comparing herself to Yuuki. IT'S SO IRRITATING, I KNOW. I want to slap her and just be like NO. STOP. But this is Ivy, so y'know. Damn.
Thank you so much! If you finished your exams recently, I hope that it all went well for you too! Thank you for all your kind words and your encouragement; I laughed and felt so touched upon reading your comment. You're lovely, and I hope to hear from you again. I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter of Heterochomia!
END OF RESPONSES.
I wasn't able to reply to some comments just because I don't like to reply to reviews signed just as the standard "Guest" since it gets a little bit confusing? LOL. I'M SORRY. It's just that when there's, like, four people that use that, it's a bit weird. Like I've mentioned previously, please leave something in the line of your comment aside from the standard "Guest"! I would really appreciate it, and it makes me feel like I can actually talk to you!
And even though I never reply to every comment, I just want to say thank you again for always taking the time to leave me something. I always read them all, and appreciate all of y'all (:
QUESTION: Which little scene in this chapter did you enjoy the most, and why?
Just a little fun one! Usually my questions try to evoke some deeper thought and analysis of what's going on in the story, but I figured it's nice not to have to think too much about things sometimes!
Please share with me your thoughts, because I most definitely want to know (:
I'm finally done with exams and schools and everything, so I've been able to write a bit more. As aforementioned, I plan to update sometime soon ( at least soon in my books ), so I hope that you guys look forward to that! Things will keep on rollin' (:
Though I'm sure not all of us live in the same hemisphere or time zone, I'm on break, and I hope that all of those who are too will have time to relax and have fun! To those that may still be in school, IT'S OK. YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU'VE GOT IT.
Until the next time I update, take care and have strength, my loves!
XOXO,
-EverlastingxSong-