They had promptly taken her back to her living quarters after Leia had ordered them to. She had told Nara that she had known she would come here. She knew she would try to see Kylo, which was why she told him about her true intentions. Which was why she had left all the doors unlocked. It was why there had been no guards anywhere. Leia had tricked her.

"You needed this confrontation, Nara."

Nara would have liked to differ, but Leia insisted this was for the better. The First Order brainwashed her, just like they had done with Kylo. They both needed to know they had been fooled, and revealing her position was the first step.

But Nara wasn't stupid. She knew what Leia was trying to do. She wanted to bring them back to the light side, but above all, she wanted her son back. After all Kylo had done, Leia still loved him and the fact that she believed in him so much scared Nara. What if she would succeed in bringing him back? She couldn't let that happen.

This time they did lock the door. The guards outside remained on their positions, and the building suddenly seemed to be alive. She heard footsteps from her upstairs neighbors, banging on walls somewhere a couple of floors down, and as soon as the sun had risen high in the sky she could see all the fighters outside, running to and from their posts.

It took her some time before Nara noticed a holo pad on her dining table. When she opened the message that it contained, a blue light projected a letter in front of her:

To Nara Hargola,

Hereby you are requested to testify at the trial of Ben Solo, otherwise known as Kylo Ren. We are expecting you to present yourself before our jury and council in two days time. You will be fitted with the appropriate attire and accompanied to our Court of Justness by our soldiers.

Signed by:

General Leia Organa

Nara deleted the message and let herself fall back on one of the chairs, stretching her legs in front of her as she looked in the distance. The trial was coming, she knew that, but she had never guessed that it would be so soon.

She let the words of the letter echo through her mind. They wanted her to testify, but for what? What was she supposed to say? She saw Kylo kill Han Solo. She knew the atrocities he had done, not to mention the things she had done herself. What could they possibly want from her?

Her fingers fumbled with the hem of her shirt as her mind were racing. Was this another trick by Leia? If she confirmed everything he had done, he could possibly get a worse sentence, but if she denied the acts he had committed—she would be lying. Whatever she would do, it seemed like a lose-lose situation.

She couldn't let him down. After Leia told him everything about their arrangement and Nara's true intentions, it was the right thing to do. If anyone could make or break his case—it was her, and she couldn't let him down.

The next two days passed by dreadfully slow, yet Nara was glad for it. She wanted to get her thoughts in order before entering the court. During that time she had recounted everything she could remember. Especially the moments in their living quarters came to mind. He had been so loving, so thoughtful He had almost been a different man, and she knew she had to convince the council of his softer side.

But on the other hand she also remembered the rest. The moments where he had lashed out because something hadn't gone his way. Kylo always had had trouble with containing his anger, but it seemed that under Snoke's control it had only grown worse. It was almost as if it was encouraged, but Nara knew that there had to be a reason for it. It had to be part of his training.

Wearing Resistance clothing again felt strange. They had provided her with the most plain looking outfit they had, and still it felt like it was wearing her down. It consisted of a straight-cut t-shirt which was slightly too big for her frame, and the box-cutter pants were a little too long. The fabric was light blue, and while no Resistance insignia could be found, she hated wearing it. It was if only now it dawned on her that the First Order was history.

She put her hair up in a high ponytail, not bothering to braid it elaborately like she used to. When she looked in the mirror Nara could her skin had started to break out around her nose. That always happened during particularly stressful moments in her life, and there was no doubt in thinking today would qualify as one.

Her escorts had come early, but she had been ready for hours. Her mind had constantly gone over what she was going to say, and when they came for her she felt a rush of panic through her body. All of a sudden Nara felt overwhelmed and underprepared. She had no idea what to expect, and that scared her more than anything.

They handcuffed her and took her to the glass headquarters. Onlooking Resistance fighters watched her closely with narrowed eyes. It was obvious she wasn't liked here. To them, she was the new traitor. It was if she was even worse than Kylo was, and perhaps they were right.

They came to a halt in front of a door that would lead to one of the many conference rooms. The First Order didn't have an equivalent to a courtroom. They liked to deal with matters like this very differently. Judging by the plaque next to the door that spelled out Court of Justness, it seemed that the Resistance adopted a new purpose for the space.

The door opened. A man appeared, slowly closing the door behind him, making as little noise as possible so he wouldn't disturb the trial going on inside. Nara tried her best to see if she could pick anything up, but apart from muffled voices she couldn't hear anything.

"You'll be expected to go in in a few minutes," he said, looking up and down her face. "You will be asked several questions, which you are expected to answer truthfully."

Nara nodded. Her skin was glowing and she could feel a light layer of sweat forming on her forehead. She knew she looked bad; both nervous, and angry at the same time.

The man's sudden movement made her jump. He seemed to know that they were supposed to go in. He opened the door behind them again, revealing the conference room and all the people sitting inside.

She swallowed as her feet seemed to be stuck to the ground. Her vision got blurry for a moment as all the eyes on her felt overwhelming, but when one of her escorts nudged her in the back, she had to step forward in order not to fall over.

As Nara regained her vision she was finally able to look around the courtroom. It had a high glass ceiling, showcasing the bright blue sky and the sun that was shining down. Even though they were cast in a ray of light, it didn't feel warm or clammy at all. Instead, it felt as cold as it was terrifying.

They slowly pushed her forward, down a small aisle that was formed out of rows of standing people. Down the end she could see an empty raised platform, obviously meant for her. Judging by the weary look on the onlookers, the trial had been going on for quite some time.

Before she stepped onto the platform, they let her out of her handcuffs. Nara immediately rubbed her wrists before she placing her foot onto the glass, the other following once she steadied herself. The platform didn't raise her much, but it was just enough for her to get a closer look at the everyone and everything gathered before and behind her.

In front of her sat the council. Their equally glass chairs followed the circular shape of the room as they formed a half-moon. Leia was seated in the middle, looking over the edge of her glasses as she held a holopad which had to contain the questions they were going to ask her.

She didn't recognize anyone else on the council. Back when she was still part of the Resistance she hardly got into contact with them, and judging by the young faces they had replaced some of their members over the past time.

Nara tried to take slow and steady breaths, but when her eyes rested on Kylo her heart seemed to leap out of her chest and her breathing was irregular again. He didn't look at her, and the lack of eye contact made her even more nervous. His brows were in a deep frown as he kept his gaze ahead. She hadn't expected him to have forgiven her in such a short amount of time, but she had hoped he would've understood. If only she could explain it one more time.

"State your name before the council," a councilwoman with a blue ribbon woven through the braids on top of her head spoke.

The voice snapped her out of her fixation of Kylo. She looked to the ground before looking up again, clearing her throat. She couldn't afford to sound nervous.

"Nara Hargola."

Two droids towards the side of the room immediately began to perform their duties. One was recording everything that was being said, while the other typed everything on a holopad. It seemed like they did not want to take the risk of whatever would be said getting lost due to a system failure, or perhaps a hacker.

"Do you confirm working for the Resistance in your lifetime?"

Narra nodded as she laced her fingers together. Now it was her to actively avoid Kylo's gaze, which she felt burning on her face. It still felt shameful to admit and perhaps she had also trouble to come to terms with the fact that he knew. Her secret, which she had worked so hard for to keep, had been revealed to him without her knowledge. She felt her blood boiling again.

"Speak up for the record."

She nodded again shallowly. "Uh, yes. I confirm."

"During this time, you worked as an analyst, did you not?"

"I did."

"It was stated in our records that you volunteered to go on an undercover mission to the First Order because of your ties to the accused, Ben Solo?"

It was strange hearing his name said like that again. Way back when, she had always referred to him like that as well. Once they had fallen back in love he wasn't anyone to her but Kylo Ren. It was the name he had established for himself. The name he had chosen after he distanced himself from the Resistance and everything it stood for. Like Nara's hard work had been for nothing, it seemed like everything Kylo had worked for was coming undone as well.

"That is correct," Nara said. There was no point in lying about this, especially since it appeared they had kept a close record of everything that had happened.

"Were you fitted with a custom transmitter behind your ear so you could communicate back and forth between the Resistance while you were undercover?"

"I was."

"Is that transmitter still there?"

The councilwoman narrowed her eyes. They were cutting straight to the chase, and Nara had to think quickly and formulate her words wisely.

"No, it is not," she said, almost looking down to the ground but instead she forced herself to keep looking at the council. She couldn't allow shame to take over her. Everything she had done she had done for the First Order. There was nothing to be ashamed about.

"Then where is it?"

"I removed it to cut the link between the Resistance and me."

The audience gathered behind her remained quiet, but she knew they were all silently judging her. Nara didn't care. The questions were heading in the right direction. If she answered carefully she could tell Kylo that while she once belonged to the Resistance, she had completely given herself to the First Order.

"And for what particular reason did you do this?"

Nara unlaced her hands and curled them into a fist, her voice growing slightly darker.

"I did it because I wanted to denounce my ties to the Resistance. I grew disillusioned with your practices. The First Order showed me things you could never show me. It was the right thing to do."

"Can you elaborate on that?"

"On what?"

"The things that the Resistance could never show you."

Nara nodded. She knew it would be hard to explain, since the First Order was something you had to experience. Before she joined them, she never knew a thing about their organization and blindly believed all the lies the Resistance fed to her.

"It showed me how much power I could have. Under their guidance, I was able to do things I never thought I could before. The First Order gave me opportunities I never thought I would have."

"Opportunities such as the killing of innocent people?"

Leia's voice cut through the silence like a knife, and even harder through her heart. She knew what she had done was radical, and she was lying if she would say that Leia's hostility didn't hurt her. For a long time, she had been like a mother to her. Nara knew her since she had been very young. She knew her long before Ben Solo had turned into Kylo Ren.

For a moment Nara wanted to think of an excuse, but there was none. She had done what she had done.

"That is correct."

An audible gasp went through the crowd behind her, sending shivers down Nara's spine as she awaited her other questions.

The councilwoman waited for Leia to sit down again to continue her questioning.

"Did you perform these tasks because it was ordered to you by Ben Solo?"

Nara ruffled her brows as she closed her eyes for a mere second. What were they implying? Were they trying to pin the murders on him? Confirm that he is a monster capable of atrocities?

"No. They were ordered by my commander, who was not Kylo Ren."

She spoke his name with emphasis, but the lack of a response by the council surprised her. They continued to keep their gaze focused on her without as much as blinking.

"That is all," the councilwoman said. She sat back down and someone else stood up.

"Miss Hargola," the man spoke. He had a square jaw and brown, slightly ruffled hair. Through his Resistance uniform she could see his broad shoulders. Nara guessed he wasn't much older than she was.

"You were present when Ben Solo murdered his own father, Han Solo. You witnessed the horrors he was capable of, yet this was not enough to make you fear him?"

"No," Nara replied, glad someone was finally asking her rational questions. "It did not. I knew the person who he was deep down inside, and that was enough for me."

"So, are you implying that Ben Solo is not the monster he is thought to be?"

She wanted to reply straight away, but before the words came out Nara closed her mouth. Was this a trick question? For so long she had been thinking about her answers, and now the time had finally come and she had no idea what to say.

"No," she finally said, averting her gaze to the ground before looking back up again. "He's not."

The councilman nodded thoughtfully.

"Would you then say that Ben's negative traits stem from a very specific training he received by the Supreme Leader Snoke?"

She said yes before she had time to think. It wasn't until the saw the surprise on the councilman's face that she realized what exactly she had said. Had she just agreed with the Resistance that Kylo's aggression came from Snoke's training? Had she agreed that everything bad that had happened to him and because of him had happened because of the First Order?

Her cheeks were glowing as it began to dawn on her. This trial was not just for Kylo—it was also for herself.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Sadly, there were some problems with my thesis which means I will continue to work on it for a little while. I'll still try to find time to write, don't worry! I can't believe we're already at chapter 37 and people are still following this story. Sometimes that is kind of mindblowing to think about. Thank you so much!

Please let me know your thoughts and take care! 3