I sneezed.
"How many times are you going to get soaking wet?" ShinWoo scolded me, rubbing my hair with a towel. "I'm surprised you're not sick and dying yet."
I grin. I was soaking. MiNam and I had decided to mess around in the water and started splashing each other. ShinWoo and Jeremy had decided to stay out of our fight, but we didn't care. We girls laughed and splashed each other. In the end, we were both soaked. MiNam had run off to her room, but as I had tried to, ShinWoo came at me with a towel. Now, we were sitting in his hotel room with tea brewing in two small cups.
"What? Do you want me to be sick and dying?" I stick my tongue out at him. He smirks.
"Don't ask such things," he says.
"You said it," I reply. He lets the towel drop on my head. It covers my eyes. I yank the towel off, but I see he's already gotten up and headed for the tea. He takes the cups and hands me on. I take it and use it to warm my cold hands.
"So what's your real reason for dragging me off into your room like this? It's scandalous," I nudge him. I smile. For some reason, running around in the sea was relaxing. I felt more at ease than I've felt in a while.
It was good to be on vacation.
"I wanted to talk to you," he replied simply.
"You seem to want to be talking to me a lot lately," I smooth out the material of my cover-up, avoiding his looks. Well, my mood just died. Every time we 'talked' something went wrong.
"This may be…weird for me to talk to you about, but…" he trailed off a moment. "I've been thinking about what you said to me."
I scoff, "What part? I've said a lot of things to you."
"'If you loved her, you'd try everything you could to hold onto her'," he repeated my own words to me. My heart sank, though I don't know why. You think I'd get used to this heartache. But I wasn't. It still hurt every time he mentioned her in that way.
"I'm going to try everything to hold onto her," he nodded slowly to himself. I stared at him, but he was staring at his tea.
"You're going to confess to her?" I ask, my voice soft.
"I'm going to confess the whole story," he replied. "I'm going to tell her I've known since the very beginning. And I'm going to tell her I've loved her just as long too."
"Why tell me this? Why not just tell her yourself and spare me the soliloquy?" I can't even keep the bitterness out of my tone. ShinWoo looked over at me, and smiled a little bit.
"I don't even know," he replied. "Just…I wanted to tell you for some reason. We were 'close' weren't we?"
"That was a long time ago," I look away from him. "You don't even tell me secrets anymore."
"And yet you knew about MiNam when no one else did," he sipped his tea. "You knew where I hid every time I was in pain. You came running and you would always comfort me."
"I'd say the same to you," I stared at him. It was true. He had always run to comfort me and he had always found me when I was hiding because the pain was too much to bear.
"That was a long time ago," he gave me a small smile. "My point is…I never had to tell you for you to know. I didn't need to tell you anything for us to be 'close'. We're close already, just by being ourselves."
"What's your point?" I grip my teacup tightly in my hand.
"I…" he trailed off. I looked at him.
"Don't tell me you think you like me," I interrupt. "Don't tell me anything."
He blinks at me. I sigh and put down the cup of tea. I stand to leave. He stands too.
"I'm happy you're going to confess to her," I force a smile at him. "It's the only thing I ever wanted you to do. I never expected you to love me back. I just wanted you to stop hurting yourself. I just wanted you to try your best. I wanted you to be happy. So stop hurting yourself. Hold onto her because even if you get hurt…you'll be glad you were able to confess."
"Like you did?" ShinWoo asked.
I don't answer him right away. I only smile and turn to the door. As I reach the door, I turn back and look at him.
"I haven't confessed everything yet, ShinWoo oppa," I tell him. He blinks at me. "But good luck. Honestly. Good luck, ShinWoo."
ShinWoo watched as Aimee went.
She hadn't confessed everything yet?
What did she mean?
ShinWoo sighed. He buried his face in his hands. He didn't know why he called her here. Was it because he was hoping for her to stop him? Was it because maybe he wanted her to say something? He didn't know. But now…with Aimee wishing him the best, he couldn't back down.
He took out his phone and dialed MiNam's number. She picked up.
"ShinWoo hyung?" she greeted.
"Meet me at the greenhouse in fifteen minutes, okay?" ShinWoo asked. "I have something to tell you."
"O-oh, okay," she stuttered her reply.
He hung up and sighed deeply. It was now or never. He grabbed his jacket and made his way outside. He couldn't back down now. He wouldn't back down. He couldn't let himself down…couldn't let Aimee down. She wanted this from him. It was the only thing she ha ever asked of him.
He could do that for her, at least, right?
I made my way silently to the greenhouse. Despite my stubborn pride telling me not to go interfere, I couldn't help my gut feeling. I was afraid she would reject him. I knew she would reject him. And though I could do nothing for him, I followed.
I watched silently as I saw MiNam enter the greenhouse. I could see ShinWoo was already standing inside, expecting her. I made my way against the shadows and watched from behind a bush. I pursed my lips, wondering what they were exactly saying. All I know was that MiNam didn't look pleased. She looked hurt and shocked as I saw ShinWoo's lips silently move. His face was full of seriousness.
My heart broke for him.
He was going to get his heart broken once and for all. And there was nothing I could do this time to protect him.
"I showed you everything today," ShinWoo stepped closer to MiNam. She looked utterly horrified at the truth he'd just let out. "Even if you don't want to see it, you have to. I've already told you everything."
ShinWoo places his hands on her shoulders. She tenses, looking up at him with frightened eyes. It hurt him. Was she afraid of him? She had no right to be. He'd never done anything but helped her and protected her! But still…as long as she looked at him…
"Like up until now, I'll always be looking at you," he muttered to her. "So please, don't try to run away to somewhere where I won't be able to see you. Look at me."
Tears glistened in her eyes, and ShinWoo saw them. His heart wrenched. MiNam opened her mouth to reply to his words. He waited, but she couldn't find anything to say. He looked away a moment, not being able to stand seeing her with tears in her eyes. That's when his eye caught something.
TaeKyung stood about four feet from the greenhouse. He stared straight at them. He saw ShinWoo with his hands on MiNam's shoulders. And ShinWoo saw the betrayal in TaeKyung's eyes. Though TaeKyung was his friend, instead of letting MiNam go, ShinWoo had remembered his promise to Aimee. He would hold onto MiNam no matter what.
And so, looking away from TaeKyung, ShinWoo pulled MiNam into his arms. She fell into his chest, having no choice but to hold onto him to keep from falling. ShinWoo felt her warmth against him. He closed his eyes and sighed.
I heard a sound behind me. I turned sharply and saw TaeKyung. He stared at me a moment. Then, his eyes trailed to the sight of ShinWoo and MiNam. My heart wrenched. No. Why now? Why him? Did TaeKyung have to see what hurt him? I could see the pain in TaeKyung's eyes as he stared on at ShinWoo and MiNam.
Then, I watched as MiNam stumbled into ShinWoo's arms suddenly. Something in my own heart jerks. I saw MiNam and ShinWoo hug. Had she…accepted him? My lip quivered. I quickly scold myself. I should be happy that she accepted him. Not sad. I force a smile for myself.
But then, I remember TaeKyung. I walk over to him. I try to take his hand and lead him away from the scene, but he turns away from me and walks off. I catch a glimpse of tears in his eyes. My heart breaks as he walks away from me.
Why couldn't everyone just be happy? Was it too much to ask that everyone be happy?
I turn back to the heartbreaking scene of ShinWoo and MiNam. I expect to see smiles, but instead, I see MiNam muttering something to ShinWoo. From the look on ShinWoo's face, it's not something to be happy about. His face twists into a mask of unbearable pain. Suddenly, MiNam turns and walks away. My heart sinks.
She…rejected him.
I duck quickly as MiNam runs from the greenhouse and past me. I look back at the greenhouse. I make my way slowly to the door. I bite my lip and peer in at ShinWoo. He falls to his knees, sobbing. My heart wrenches. I put my hand to the glass, but hesitate to push open the door.
I jump as ShinWoo suddenly stands and slams his hand against one of the empty plant-pots on the shelf in the greenhouse. I gasp as I see blood dripping from his fresh wounds. They snaked around his hand. Tears pricked my eyes. I shoved the greenhouse door open and went inside.
"How could you hurt your own hand?" I snap. ShinWoo freezes suddenly and turns slowly to look at me. The tears run down my face, but I don't care.
"How could you hurt your hand?" I say again, my voice cracking. "The hand that plays guitar. The hand that holds that tea cup so dearly. The hand that holds me when I cry…how could you let it get hurt again?"
I walk over to him, grabbing his hand gently and using my T-shirt to wipe away the blood. He flinches, but doesn't say anything. My white T-shirt is blood-stained, but I thought nothing of it. Suddenly, ShinWoo yanks his hand away and heads to the door. I stand there a moment. I grit my teeth, holding the edge of my blood-stained T-shirt in my hand. I turn and glare at his back.
Then, I run to him and wrap my arms around his waist. He stops. He doesn't move away, but he doesn't hug me back either. He just stands there. I can't tell if he's crying anymore or not.
"Let go of me, Jung Aimee," he says softly. I realize he means both physically as well as from my heart. I shake my head and hold onto him tighter.
"I won't," I protest. "I'll hold on as long as I have to."
"You're not afraid of hurting Nobu?" he asks.
"Nobu's always known I loved you," I choke out, thinking about Nobu again. "He left me because he knew I loved you. I won't let his heartbreak be in vain."
"Let go of me," he repeats again, softer.
"I don't want you to be alone," I mutter into his back. "I beg you. Don't hurt yourself anymore. I'm not asking you to give your love to me. I'm only asking for you to stop hurting yourself by loving her anymore. Just like I couldn't give you up for Nobu…MiNam will never be able to give up TaeKyung for you."
"I held on to her as long as I could, Aimee," ShinWoo muttered. "In the end, she still left."
He turned and looked at me. He forced a smile.
"Thank you for loving me with all your heart," he sighed. "But I don't have the courage to face you anymore. Goodbye, Jung Aimee."
With that, he turned and walked away. I stood there, watching him leave. I bit my lip.
I held onto you as long as I could, too, ShinWoo oppa. In the end, you still left as well.
"Hyung! Hyung!" Jeremy came running down the stairs into the café where ShinWoo sat. MiNam sat beside him. Jeremy panted hard. He stopped to catch his breath.
"Aimee left. Her room is completely empty and she checked out of the hotel," he said. ShinWoo froze. The fork he'd been holding and eating with fell and clattered to the floor. MiNam beside him gasped.
"Sunbae left? To where? Did she leave a note?" MiNam asked frantically.
"I went to go invite her to the beach with me, but she had checked out. All she left was this for ShinWoo," Jeremy pulled out a manila envelope. On it in Aimee's curly hand-writing was ShinWoo's name printed neatly. Underneath his name, she'd written a short message
Sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone. Don't worry about me. I'll be alright. I never got to give this to you, ShinWoo oppa. I was going to, but I never got the chance. Tell the others I love them. Don't look for me. I will be back someday.
"What did she say?" MiNam asked ShinWoo. He didn't answer her. Instead, he opened the manila envelope. He pulled out the sheets of paper inside. He realized they were music sheets. He recognized Aimee's purple glitter-pen and her hand-writing. He read the title of the song.
"You're My Destiny, dedicated to Kang ShinWoo," he read aloud. His eyes wandered to the lyrics, written in Aimee's neat penmanship.
"'You are the only one I need. It rids the reason for everything else. I am fine with everything else as long as you are beside me. Even if the season or the world changes, I will always love you…Cause You Are My Destiny! People tell me that nothing stays the same. Promise me that we will be together forever. You can promise me that right?'" ShinWoo read the lyrics aloud, softly. His heart wrenched at every word.
"ShinWoo…" MiNam spoke beside him.
He bolted from his chair and ran to the front desk.
"When did Jung Aimee check out of her hotel room?" he demanded in his clumsy Japanese. The woman at the front desk blinked at him a moment, processing his words. Then, she stuttered and went to her guest book.
"Three hours ago," she replied.
ShinWoo ran from the room. He had to find her. He had to find her. He could still make it to the airport on time. How he knew she would be at the airport, he didn't know. But he knew Aimee was running away once again. He couldn't let her.