Thirty - Seven.

I melted into a cozy little sanctuary when I got into Edward's bed. It was cool and soft and plush and smelled just like him. I folded myself between the sheets and wished things would just go back to the way they were. Don't they always say ignorance is bliss?

Unfortunately, my emotions got the best of me and I had to face the music. I rolled over to face him.

I took a deep breath. "I'm just confused, Edward. I just don't know what I want."

I could feel his heart stop beating for a moment. He didn't even blink. He looked terrified, like he knew what I was going to say. I pushed on his chest. "Don't look at me like that."

"Then don't fucking break my heart!" he yelled angrily.

I turned to a puddle of sobs. "Who is going to break whose heart here?" I yelled back. He seemed like he had good intentions with me and I didn't even know his side of the story yet, but reality was not in my favor. Edward and I had a lot working against us, and it wasn't just Jake.

Recognition seemed to flash before his eyes. "What do you mean, Bella? Are you saying? I would never . . ."

"Tell me about Tanya," I said softly.

His green eyes grew impossibly larger. Even though the room was dark, I could see the pink highlighting his chiseled cheeks. "Tanya? Seriously? Is that what the fuck this is about? Who have you been talking to?"

"Alice. Everyone. They all talk about how great she was and how you broke her heart."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh my, God," he laughed. He seemed relieved. I was getting irritated.

His arms were around me in an instant and his lips pressed firmly into my collar bone. I pushed him back. "Stop. Tell me," I begged.

He kissed me again. "I'm sorry. I'm just so fucking relieved you're not saying you never want to see me again."

I scoffed. "The night is still young," I teased.

He laughed and nudged me. "Yeah, right. Tanya should be the very least of your concerns."

"Well, everyone seems to have an impression of what happened, so why don't you fill me in on your version."

"I won't lie. Tanya was the princess of the ship. She was everyone's favorite girl. She was beautiful, but not as beautiful as you are." His fingers played in my hair as he spoke. "She was a nice girl; she was very sweet. She was exactly what everyone thought she was. We dated last summer. Everything was great, she was great, but I knew that she wasn't my forever. I wasn't going to go back to London and back to med school while she sailed around the world and was the queen of talent every night. It would've made me insanely jealous. When she offered to quit and move to London to be with me, I couldn't let her. I mean, she was wonderful, but I just didn't see her as my wife one day and I couldn't allow her to give up her dreams for false hope. I wouldn't do that to her, or to anyone."

I sighed. I didn't know what that meant. He wouldn't do that to anyone, including me. Did I have false hope? I didn't even know what I wanted.

"What else do you want to know?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said quietly.

His arm was wrapped around me, his fingers drew lazy circles on my lower back, while his other hand cradled my face and his thumb made long strokes across my cheek bone.

"So, you did break her heart?"

He sighed. "I guess she wasn't exactly thrilled with the way things ended."

"So, she was just your summer fling?"

"I wouldn't say that, necessarily. I began dating her with good intentions. I enjoyed her company. She was a really great girl. I wanted to see where things would go, but they just didn't go very far. Tanya was an actress. She was vivacious and put 110% into everything she did. Her dream was to be on broadway one day, not on a cruise ship. I couldn't give her broadway. Ever. A wife on Broadway isn't how I saw my life panning out. I just didn't know how passionate about acting she was until I really got to know her better. I wouldn't take that away from her, so I ended things before they went too far."

Hm. That all made sense. Maybe everyone just made Edward out to be the bad guy, or they just felt sorry for Tanya.

"I don't know why everyone thinks I broke her heart. I think I did what was best for her. I actually spoke with her a few weeks ago. She's supposed to be coming back, signing another contract in a few weeks."

"Oh, great," I laughed. "Let's add your ex-girlfriend into this fucked up situation."

Edward laughed, too. It made me smile. "She won't be a problem. She is nothing compared to you. Nothing."

Author's Note:

We've got Jake's visiting coming up in a few chapters. For those of you who hate Bella and the way she's acting, you're going to hate her even more before it gets better. Try not to get your panties in a wad. :) 3

Twitter: AllOrNothingKR