A 'clank!'- The iron parting bone, blood, flesh, stone. It bangs, he screams, it bangs, he screams, it bangs and then he's silent. The entire floor throbbing in searing pain but he no longer feels it. I feel it; in my hands and they grip the blood-spattered axe – it's completely bloody and so am I. There is so much of it on me that I start believing its part of my skin; I can taste the metallic tang and sting of his death. All I see is red and the blackness of the woods egging me on to kill, kill, kill. I'm practically stuck in a loop of assault and I watch as my hands deliver never ending blows to a lifeless corpse. Each time I blink, in paranoia, I see him flinch as if he just wouldn't die, so I drop the axe tirelessly.

"Em!" Ali yells over and over and her blue orbs are dripping tears. She looks at me like I'm a monster but I go right back to doing it.

I feel a rough shake followed by her screaming my name again and it's enough to bring me from my horrible dream and back to reality; to frightened cobalt eyes. My hands were shaking but they firmly wrapped around her throat. I retracted them swiftly as I realised that I was hurting her.

"God! Ali!" was all I could squeeze out before I was completely taken over by tears. I hopped off the bed and backed myself into the corner of her bedroom with my hands outstretched. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I repeated the phrase in a devastating cycle as I broke down.

Alison was coughing and rubbing her neck clearly in discomfort and I could barely look at her now. What the hell is wrong with me? She got off the bed and the fear and distress quickly fleeted from her eyes that were now filled with concern.

"Em," she said softly as she approached me but I moved away; a part of me afraid that I would hurt her again.

"A-Ali…" I was lost for an apology, lost for words.

"Baby, its ok… you were just having a nightmare," she placed her hands on my shoulders, "look at me Emily." But I couldn't. I was afraid to see the marks that I was sure would be visible by then on her throat.

"I can't," I cried meekly and she forced me to. I felt so ashamed of myself but she kissed me; kissed it all away and then pulled me into her for a sweet and constricted embrace. My body shook while fell apart crying in her arms.

"It's ok… it's ok…" she repeated as she glided her palms along my back.

Alison walked us back to bed and pulled the cover over me. She positioned me so that my head laid on her chest and I could listen to her heart beating. Her nimble fingers stroked my hair and one hand held me close and in place. Soon, again, I was fast asleep.

I woke up a few hours later in the exact same position. Ali was dead asleep so I eased myself from her hold and headed for the bathroom. Frozen at the mirror, I looked at the reflection and still, I couldn't recognize myself – the murderer, the abusive girlfriend, the liar, the adulterer. Who the hell have I become?

Weirdly enough, my mind flashed to thoughts of my father and what he would think of me. I looked down and could feel the fullness of tears behind my lids. I looked back up again to brown beautiful eyes and a sharply defined jawline that had been clench for God knows how long. I watched at the jet black tresses of hair that cascaded over my shoulders and I pulled it back; wrapping it into a lazy bun.

I heard Alison stirring in the other room and I was brought back to my consciousness. As I entered her bedroom, I saw the blond goddess stretched out fully on the bed. And it was so easily that I was reminded that what I did and who I am was all for her – for the unending love I have. I would do it all over again if it was to keep her safe because she was my everything and there was no life without Alison Dilaurentis. My dad would have been damn proud of me.

"Hey," she sleepily said and wiped her eyes clear.

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes," I repeated, still standing at the foot of her bed.

"Yes?" she /leapt with excitement when she finally understood what I was talking about and rushed to scatter me with kisses, "you'll marry me?!" I giggled beneath her smooching and wrapped my arms around my adorable blonde.

"Wait, were you actually worried that I would say no?" I asked teasingly.

"Of course I was," she replied and walked back over to the bed; dragging her fingers along the post, "I mean, I am a lot to handle… A lot of drama seems to follow me… and I don't usually bring out the best in people. Why would anyone want to be tied down to that?" She scrunched her face in disgust.

"You're talking to the girl that almost choked you to death this morning…"

"Exactly, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be having PTSD. You wouldn't have killed a man. I just always f*ck things up, especially with you…" she trailed before I interrupted.

"Alison, I love you and all of your drama. Plus, you aren't the reason all of these bad things happen. That would be A's fault not yours. Don't blame yourself for that. I've wanted nothing more than to have and to hold you since the first day I met you. Marrying you will literally be a dream come true for me and I've had that wonderful dream many many times before. You're amazing Ali, never forget that. If you could only see yourself with my eyes, you would never doubt yourself ever again," I rambled and sat next to her on the bed.

"Thank you," she flashed half a smile – the dimpled one – and then she twiddled her thumbs, "about last night… do you wanna talk about it?"

"I don't…"

"Em, I think you should see someone," she rebutted instantly.

"And say what Ali. T-that I-I killed someone and now I'm choking my girlfriend in her sleep!" I yelled startling her.

"God! Em would you relax?" she questioned in a harsh tone; raising her voice just as high as mine. I have to say, her tone reminded me a lot of the fiery young blonde and it immediately settled me. "I'm only trying to help… You obviously have a problem and we need to take care of it."

"We?"

"Yes, we do." Her tone was softer now and her blue iridescent orbs looked through me like I was completely transparent. "I know you're afraid but I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere; despite my terrible track record."

As Ali spoke, I walked over to the window and watched outside at what was left of my family home. I blinked away the sting of tears that were beginning to form when I felt tiny, vanilla fingers creep around my waist. Alison pressed her body against mine and held me tightly whilst plastering small kisses on my shoulder.

"See… I have bigger things to worry about," I murmured and she just pulled me in tighter.

"I'm so sorry baby," the beautiful blonde comforted me and I allowed myself to take solace in the tenderness of her milky tone.

She turned me around so that I could stare right at her and she lunged her plump lips forward, merging them perfectly with mine. The kiss was sweet and rough but I wasn't sure just how much of a consolidation it was, as oppose to a sexual advance.

I was convinced of the latter when she started tugging at the hem of my pajama shirt and moaning softly into my mouth. Alison is incredibly sexy when she's struggling to control her inclinations to sexually dominate me. She tries so hard to take things slowly but when she gets this worked up, her sexual frustration peaks and if I'm being completely honest, I torture her by slowing things down further.

I stopped kissing the blonde and left her to fully control the kiss. I heard her grunt in response and then she bit the bottom of my lip so hard that it felt like I had been electrocuted. My eyes sprung open and hers were taunting. The little, delicious and wayward smirk of hers snaked its way across her mouth.

I quickly became the aggressor and pushed her onto the bed. She bit her lips as I undressed arbitrarily above her; annoyance and lust in my eyes. She loves when she succeeds in getting me to this point – the point where I want to consume her entirely; pleasing her until neither one of us can move.

"Mmm I love it when you're rough," she purred and I gave her exactly what she wanted.

My nails scraped against her skin as I yanked her shorts off of her body. She was just as excited as I was and she stripped out of her bra just as quickly as I got rid of her bottoms. My knees hit the rug and I started lapping at her soaking goodness – always sweet, always dripping for me.

The noises that escaped Ali's lips, shot through me like glass cutting me down to needing to feel her hands on my body just as badly as she wanted me to make her cum. I felt the hot desire pooling in my stomach as I licked, sucked, and devoured her centre. Her legs were trembling and wrapped securely around my head. I felt her hands take a handful of my hair and pulled me up needing a break from the agonizing pleasure. She was panting uncontrollably with her eyes closed tightly.

I could have given her time to collect herself but that wouldn't be much fun, now would it? She raised up off of the bed when I plunged my fingers into her. Her arms draped around me and I struggled to balance us once more. The fair flesh of her neck caught my attention as she tossed her head back; blonde curls dancing above the messy bed-spread and I bit into her pulse point, all the while, my fingers were busy bringing her closer and closer to that sweet release. She moaned so loudly that I almost thought of stopping. I was certain that her aunt heard her that time but I knew she was so close that pulling out would have been one of the most malicious acts someone could have ever committed.

"Oh fuck! Emily please don't stop baby," she mumbled against my forehead and I sped up my rhythm pulling high-pitched gasps out of her and then she came – mouth in that sultry 'O' shape, hair snapping forward with her body as she held onto me for dear life. I kept going while she rode out her orgasm and at the end, she was in tears. And I mean blubbering tears.

I kissed her cheek and all over her face trying to calm her down. Her body spasm lightly for a few seconds until she was fast asleep; not opening her eyes once. That had to have been the most intense orgasm for her. I must admit, I was a bit jealous but the satisfied look on my blonde made me grin giddily. I curled up beside her and drifted off to sleep again.