Family
Chapter 35: Guilt and Comfort Part Two
Author's note: Previously on Family, news of Heero and Fate being a couple travelled fast, causing problems for Fate while Heero was missing from the entire scene. Fate knows that 19th of May was an important day to Heero and went to find him. Even though Heero rejected her help, Fate took matters into her own hands and boarded Heero's private plane. This caused the two of them to get into a fight but eventually they patched things up. Heero finally accepts that Fate will be going to France with him but he was like a completely different person in France. Heero was unable to forgive himself for his actions and was filled with guilt. They met Sylvia at the graveyard where she invited them to have lunch at her mansion.
This chapter will not be broken down into shorter chapters, it will be a long chapter instead. Sorry for the late update as I was having exams.
Thank you for reading this story and I hope that you continue to support it. Please read and review, NO FLAMERS! Pairing: HeeroXOC
After Colony 203, 19th May
Earth, France, Marseilles, Noventa Mansion
Afternoon
Fate was surprised when Heero told her that they were going to visit Mrs. Noventa. They bid Sylvia goodbye temporarily before returning to the black sedan car. Heero gave the man the address to Sylvia's mansion and they sat in silence as the car drove on. There was a question that Fate wanted to ask Heero, but she decided against it. They were allowed into the mansion and the car stopped right in front of the mansion's main doors. After getting out of the car, Heero instructed the man to park the car and wait for them inside the mansion. Meanwhile a butler came to welcome them into the mansion, as if he was already expecting them. Fate and Heero were escorted into the living room where hot tea was served. Fate looked around the mansion and noticed that nothing seems to have changed since a year ago. Heero didn't touch the tea that was served for him while Fate sipped her tea quietly as they waited for Sylvia. Sylvia came over to join them some time later and she sat down on the sofa opposite them. Fate and Sylvia chat politely with each other while Heero didn't speak much. Soon Mrs. Noventa came over to join them. While Sylvia went over to help her grandmother, Heero and Fate stood up to greet her.
"Well isn't it Heero?" Mrs. Noventa asked.
Fate noticed how Heero was looking at Mrs. Noventa but then Heero merely gave her a curt nod in greeting. All of them sat down at their seats and more tea was served. The women chat for a while though Heero remained silent throughout the entire conversation. Fate wasn't sure if Heero was even listening to their conversation.
"I heard from Sylvia that the two of you got together?" Mrs. Noventa asked Heero and Fate directly.
Fate was surprised by Mrs. Noventa's direct question and she looked at Heero briefly before answering.
"Yes." Fate answered softly, since there was no way to deny it now.
Mrs. Noventa smiled at them and she thanked Fate for the Christmas gift that she had sent. They continued chatting for a short while before Sylvia left to check if lunch was ready. Fate sensed that Heero needed some time alone with Mrs. Noventa hence she asked if Sylvia could show her around the mansion. Heero knew what Fate was up to but he didn't stop her from leaving. Heero watched as Fate left with Sylvia and hence he was left alone with Mrs. Noventa.
"I haven't seen you for two years now." Mrs. Noventa told him.
Heero nodded.
"And as usual you are a man of little words." Mrs. Noventa said.
"Old habits die hard." Heero admits.
Mrs. Noventa laughed instead.
"Nevertheless I can sense a slight change in you." Mrs. Noventa said.
Heero didn't respond, as if he was leaving it up to her if she wishes to elaborate what she meant.
"I saw the way you looked at Miss Camden. It reminds of the good old days when he was around. He used to look at me the same way you look at her now." Mrs. Noventa told him.
The silence that followed after that felt heavy as Heero knew that he was the reason why she could never see her husband again.
"Nevertheless I can tell that you do love her very much and I know that she loves you too." Mrs. Noventa told him.
Heero didn't respond, though he was surprised that she knew about it especially when he wasn't looking at Fate with any emotion.
"To be honest, I was afraid that you will never be able to know what true love really means and I know for certain that you lack love in your life." Mrs. Noventa told him.
Heero was genuinely surprised that Mrs. Noventa seems to care about his welfare, even though he was the one who killed her husband.
"But I'm really glad that you have found someone in your life and knows what love really means. I'm really glad that it is someone like Fate, since she is a very caring, kind and understanding person." Mrs. Noventa told him.
"I'm lucky to have her." Heero told her softly.
Mrs. Noventa smiled warmly at him.
"Relationships are never easy but if you two love each other, I'm sure there is nothing you two can't overcome." Mrs. Noventa said.
Heero didn't respond as well but he was aware that Mrs. Noventa was currently giving him relationship advice.
Sylvia and Fate returned soon after but from the looks of it, Heero knew that both ladies had a good chat with each other. As the food was ready, all of them sat down at the dining table for lunch. Heero didn't talk much, he was more of a listener while the women chat politely with each other. The food was rather pleasant to Fate but to Heero everything was bland, maybe he wasn't in the mood to eat. Fate could feel that Heero seems to be forcing himself to eat for the sake of his hostesses even though he wasn't in the mood. Fate reached out to hold his left hand halfway through lunch. Heero turned to look at her briefly and Fate was certain that he saw the message in her eyes. Nevertheless Fate didn't hold his hand for long. As the courses continued, Heero couldn't wait to get out of there. After lunch was finally over, they came up with a few excuses and were soon escorted to the doors.
"I hope you enjoyed lunch, it is always good to see the two of you again." Mrs. Noventa said.
Heero merely nodded while Fate smiled in return. They bid both of them goodbye before they left the mansion in the same black sedan. As they were on the way back to the hotel, Fate wondered if this was the time they should talk but she decided against it. Now simply wasn't the best time.
"Heero, look at me." Fate whispered, aware that Heero was still looking out of the car's window.
Heero slowly turned to look at her and Fate immediately leaned forward to kiss him fully on his lips. The kiss was too abrupt and Fate felt Heero tensed up. He placed his hands on her shoulder and gently pushed her back. Fate was immediately hurt by his rejection of her kiss.
"Not now." Heero told her softly.
Fate shifted away from him and stared out of the car's windows in silence. She merely wanted to comfort him as he seemed like he was in pain however she might have approached this in a wrong manner. Heero was so different today, he wasn't like his usual self at all. It was almost as if he was a completely different person and she hadn't really seen this side of him. Maybe she didn't know him as well as she thought she did.
"Once we get to the hotel, check in and get some rest. Our plane leaves at 9pm tonight." Heero told her.
"What about you?" Fate asked.
"I have some work related matters to see to, I will be back to pick you up by 8pm." Heero told her as he looked at his watch.
Fate didn't like the idea of Heero running off, who knows what he was up to? He might even be lying about him attending to some work related matters. Fate was worried that Heero might be up to no good or he might do something that will hurt himself.
"Why don't we both rest at the hotel?" Fate asked.
Heero didn't respond.
"You didn't even sleep, I'm sure you must be exhausted. Why don't you take a nap before the flight?" Fate asked.
"There's plenty of time for sleep during the flight." Heero pointed out.
"But…"
"I don't want anyone to have an opportunity to catch us together, especially at a hotel." Heero cut in.
Fate was feeling a little angered that Heero made the matter at hand about her when it was actually all about him.
"Fine." She said.
Both of them sat there in silence for the remainder of their car ride. They arrived at the hotel and Heero got out of the car to check into the hotel as Fate waited in the car for his return. Heero returned with an envelope containing the room number and the card key sometime later. She lowered the car's window so that he could pass the envelope to her.
"I have checked the room, everything is safe." Heero told her.
Fate blinked in surprised while she took the envelope from him. She hadn't expected him to run a check around the room first. Heero then looked at the man dressed in the black suit.
"Escort her up to the hotel room and bring all of our luggage. I will call for you to pick us up at 8pm." Heero told him.
"Yes sir." The man replied.
"Are you taking a cab?" Fate asked.
"My ride is here." Heero told her.
Just then they heard a roar of a sports car engine that sounded familiar to Fate. They turned to see a metallic blue SilverWings sports car pulling to a stop behind the black sedan. It was an exact replica of Heero's sports car, except the change in its colour. Fate also noticed that there was no one driving the sports car at all as it was on autopilot mode.
"You brought a car to France?" Fate asked.
"This is a spare model that I keep in the plane's cargo so that I can use it no matter where I go." Heero explained.
Fate then realized that Heero could have easily driven them around but probably chose to hire a bodyguard and another car for her sake. She was surprised that he had paid so much attention to their security detail.
"Be safe." Fate told him as Heero was walking towards the sports car.
Heero nodded at her before he got into the car and the car sped off at break neck speed which was nothing to Heero's usual speed. Fate watched him leave sadly while the man dressed in the black suit opened the car's door for her.
"Shall we, Miss Camden?" The man asked.
Fate nodded as she wore her sunglasses and stepped out of the car. Fate tried to appear as natural as possible as she didn't want anyone to spot her or to attract unwanted attention to herself. The man carried their luggage bags and he escorted her to the highest level of the hotel. Fate realized that Heero had booked a suite for her which was unnecessary for it was going to be a very short stay. Nevertheless she opened the door with the card key and the man carried all their luggage inside. She then thanked the man before the man left with a curt nod. Fate immediately closed the door after that before she walked further into the suite. It was a rather large suite with a bedroom, a sitting room and a large bathroom that was connected to the bedroom. The suite was well decorated and everything looked very elegant. The bathroom even had a large circular bathtub that can also be used as a Jacuzzi. Fate was impressed that Heero remembered that she liked to take her baths in really large bath tubs.
She switched on the television and channel switched before stopping at an entertainment news channel. She was disturbed when she found out that the host was talking about her relationship with Heero.
"Miss Camden was initially seen with Heero Wingate often in the past when he was rumored to be dating Relena Darlian then. Seems to me that there was already a triangle relationship going on back then. But one thing's for sure, it's about time he chose one of them. Honestly no one will blame him for choosing Fate, for she is by far ten thousand times better than Relena Darlian. Problem is are they going out together since a long time ago or did they just get together recently?" The host said.
Fate immediately switched off the television, her mood was further ruined by the news about her. She started to open her luggage bag and unpacked only what she needed. After that she took a long bath before soaking in the hot water for a very long time as she thought of what she should do about Heero. She considered calling Quatre, but decided against it. The water soon turned cold and Fate knew that it was time to get out. She was getting dressed when her mobile phone started ringing. She finished dressing before going out to retrieve it. She was surprised that it was a call from Quatre and called him back. They chat for a while but Fate almost revealed the truth to Quatre. All of it was at the tip of her tongue, but she didn't know if she should tell him.
"We will be back at 10am tomorrow." She told him.
"I see. How is Heero?" Quatre asked.
Fate didn't know how she was going to lie through this question, hence she decided to go with the truth instead.
"He's not doing well, he's in a lot of pain. He hardly slept, ate anything and he doesn't talk at all." Fate whispered.
She sat down on the sofa with her phone pressed to her ear.
"It does sound quite bad." Quatre said.
"I didn't expect it to be like this. Sometimes I wondered if I made the right decision by coming here with him." Fate told him.
"At least you don't have to worry about what he's up to especially when he's somewhere so far away from you. You also get to spend more time with him and honestly you being there makes us more assured that he will be back safe and sound." Quatre told her.
Fate's eyes softened at Quatre's words. But she knew that she hadn't been much of a help to Heero. She had only been a hindrance to him right from the very start.
"Sometimes I wonder if he needs me at all." Fate whispered.
"I believe he does, he probably just doesn't want to show it or maybe he doesn't know how to ask for help. After all he had always faced everything alone." Quatre said.
Fate smiled sadly, she had always felt that sometimes Heero's best friends knew him better than she did. Yet naturally they should know him better than she does, since they have been together ever since AC 195.
"Be there for him Fate." Quatre encouraged.
Fate knew that Quatre wanted to be here for Heero too, but he knew that he couldn't do that unless Heero wants him here.
"I will try." She said.
She was surprised when the doorknob on the door was pushed downwards. She stood up in shock and wondered who could be breaking into the room. The door opened and Heero stepped into the room. Fate stared at him in shock before she realized that she was still on her phone.
"Thanks Quatre, I will call you back, Goodbye." Fate whispered before she hung up.
Heero closed and locked the door behind him while Fate slowly approached him.
"I thought that you will be back by 8pm?" Fate asked.
Both of them stared at the digital clock on the wall that read 4pm. She turned to look at him for an explanation.
"I wasn't in the mood for work." Heero told her as he took off his shoes.
Fate watched as Heero wandered further into the suite.
"What do you plan to do now?" Fate asked.
They stared at each other in silence and Heero noticed that Fate seemed to have finished her bath some time ago. She had changed into a new dress and her hair was still damp from the bath. He walked towards the curtains and pulled them back to look at the city below them. He stared ahead in silence while Fate was getting tired of the silence too. She sighed in defeat before going to the bedroom. She lied down and closed her eyes, trying to take a nap since there wasn't much she could do if Heero chooses to ignore her. Maybe she should leave Heero up to his silence.
Sometime later, Fate was surprised when she felt a weight on the other side of the bed. She turned to her right and saw that Heero was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had taken a bath and was dressed in a new set of clothing. Yet something about him reminded her of the time when she had comforted him when he had broken up with Relena. She remembered how they ended up sleeping together and went through a whole whirlwind of events. But now they seem to be going back to that time again. She wanted to reach out to comfort him but she was afraid that things might turn out badly again after that. It soon dawned on her that she didn't fly all the way to France to be a spectator who only watched from the side lines.
"Heero…" She whispered as she sat up slowly on the bed.
She shifted closer toward him but Heero didn't seem to notice her at all. Fate knew that he was doing the same thing again, that he was thinking of the matter over and over again in his mind. Fate reached out to cup his cheek and she gently turned his head so that he was facing her. One look at his face and Fate knew that he was still stuck in that dark whirlpool inside his own mind.
"Heero, stop it please, stop torturing yourself like this." Fate whispered.
"What do you know?" Heero asked her softly.
"You are right, I don't know anything but I know what you are feeling right now. Guilt, regret and sadness for not being able to change the situation. I have been there, I know what it's like wishing that you could go back in time to change what you have done. But the truth is we can't do that and sometimes facing up to the reality is harsh, but we still have to move on." She told him.
Their eyes met for a short moment before Heero tried to look away from her, but Fate kept him from looking away from her.
"Look at me Heero. It's not your fault, you were deceived!" Fate shouted at him.
"And I fell for the trap like a fool. It doesn't matter whether I was tricked or not, I was the one who killed them." He told her.
Fate let her hand on his cheek fall away, she turned to look away from him for a short moment as she gathered her thoughts. When she had formed her argument, she turned back to look at him.
"Anyone who was placed in that situation would have done the same thing." Fate told him.
"No, they wouldn't." Heero denied.
"They would, they told me themselves." Fate told him.
Heero then realized that Fate was talking about his best friends who were also there that very day.
"If it hadn't been you, it would have been them. Either way, he would not have survived." Fate pointed out.
"Since when do you support murderers?" Heero asked suddenly.
The pained look on Fate's face made Heero regret his words, she looked like someone had just stabbed her with a knife through her heart.
"You are right, either way it would still have been murder. But it was during war times, we all understand that circumstances will force people to take the lives of others. But how long more must you carry this burden with you? Why must you be the only one who carries this responsibility and guilt alone? Why can't you forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself for what cannot be undone?" Fate asked.
Heero said nothing as he stared ahead.
"Why must you be the only one who has to be in pain? Why must you torture yourself so?" Fate asked.
"Because I wasn't punished for what I did!" Heero exclaimed.
Fate shook her head instead.
"No, it's far more than just that." Fate said, knowing that Heero wasn't speaking the complete truth.
Heero stared ahead in silence.
"You don't want to move on. You can't let it go because the moment you do, you will start to forget about all the horrible things that you have done in the past. And you can't afford to do that, especially when you feel that you don't even deserve to be happy after all that you did." Fate told him.
Heero's hands were clenched tightly into fists at his sides. He hated it when Fate could read his deepest thoughts and feelings like he was an open book to her. Especially when he hid it from everyone for such a long time, she had to come along and cause chaos again. Fate knew that she was pushing Heero to the limits and he looked like he was trying to refrain himself from losing his composure.
"Haven't you done enough Heero?" Fate asked him softly.
Heero turned to stare at her instead, as if her question had surprised him.
"For the past eight years, haven't you been doing what you can to make up for what you have done?" Fate asked.
Heero stared ahead in silence as he tried to keep his face as emotionless as ever but he was really shocked that Fate knew about it.
"You saved lives, you protected people and things. You rebuilt buildings, started up orphanages, hospitals and homes for injured soldiers. You even started scholarships for soldiers' children, funding for past soldiers and more. You did everything you could to ensure that people's lives were better, that there won't be a war again. Haven't you already done enough to make up for it?" Fate asked.
Heero didn't say a single word, he was utterly speechless.
"I know about the cemetery in VLA." Fate whispered.
Heero was so stunned that he almost lost his composure but he managed to keep his face as emotionless as ever. How? How was Fate able to find out so much about him, especially when he kept all of his secrets deeply locked in his heart? He covered his face with his hands for a short moment before he turned to look at Fate instead. Heero knew that he was already at his breaking point.
Heero had bought a large piece of land in VLA and he had made it into a cemetery. In this cemetery, he had buried many people that he had directly or indirectly killed during his missions or in his line of work. He would make sure that they all had a gravestone, a proper funeral and burial. Heero would even pay for all expenses and he hired a few staff to garden the place so that it was a peaceful, beautiful place. As for why he was doing this, he did it to remember them. He did it because he never did forget a single one of them. No matter what they did, they were still humans who had a family, loved ones whom Heero had caused a lot of pain. This was something that he had kept hidden from everyone, including his best friends. Hence he was stunned that Fate knew about it, especially since he never wanted her to know about it.
"How? How did you ever find out about it? Who was the bastard who told you about it?" Heero demanded in anger.
Fate was shocked at his outrage, but she looked away from him as she was unable to meet his eyes.
"Who the hell told you about it?" Heero demanded again.
"It was Wufei." Fate admitted.
"That son of a…"
"Wufei found out about it on his own and he brought me there to show me…" Fate cut in.
Heero cursed out loud, Fate was so stunned that she trailed off and stared at him in shock. She had rarely seen him so angry that he would lose all composure and start to use such vulgar words. Heero stood up and disappeared into the living room instead as if he couldn't bear the sight of her. After Fate had recovered from her shock, she went out to find him knocking a tightly clenched fist against the wall.
"Heero…"
"Stop, don't speak. I don't want to hear a single word." Heero said.
"Let me finish…"
"Haven't you said enough?" Heero practically shouted.
"I…" Fate trailed off into silence.
She watched as Heero continued punching the wall. She noticed that he seems to be hitting the wall harder and harder. She immediately ran over and grabbed onto his arm before he could hit the wall again.
"Let go!" He told her in an icy cold voice.
"Stop it, you will only create a hole in the wall! You will only bring about more pain upon yourself." Fate told him.
"It's either that or I will kill Wufei when I see him!" Heero exclaimed.
Fate refused to let go of his arm, she tightened her hold around it instead. Heero reached out as if to push her away.
"The cemetery is not the main point Heero. The main point is, haven't you done enough to repay for all that you have done? For all the lives that you have taken? For the many lives that you believed you have ruined?" Fate asked.
He stared at her in silence, but his hand was still raised. Fate stared back at him in silence and soon Heero slowly dropped his arm to his side.
"It will never be enough." Heero told her softly.
Fate immediately looked at the hand that he had used to punch the wall. His knuckles were bleeding but he didn't seem to care. It was almost as if he couldn't feel the pain in his knuckles.
"Maybe it will never be enough, but you don't have to carry this responsibility and guilt all alone Heero. If there is a burden that has to be carried and someone who has to be blamed, why can't all five of you share the same blame, the same burden?" Fate asked.
Heero didn't respond at all, his eyes were as expressionless as his face was. But honestly he was shocked, he had never thought of it that way. He just felt that he should be the one taking the blame because he was the one who had killed them. And he didn't want to cause any inconvenience to any of his friends. They were all happy with the life that they have now. They had moved on, all of them had except him. He didn't want to make their life miserable, even though he was miserable.
"They are worried about you Heero. Every year they tried to accompany you on this journey, but you turned them down. They haven't forgotten about what happened eight years ago and they want to share this burden with you. But you wouldn't let them. Why? Why do you always push away the people who are closest to you? These are people who care a lot about you." Fate told him.
Heero's mind was a total blank; he didn't know what to say.
"So please, don't push them away anymore! You don't have to go through this on your own. You are not alone anymore, you have your best friends, your family and you have me too." Fate whispered.
Tears fell from Fate's eyes and Heero stared at her in silence. Fate gave Heero's injured hand a tight squeeze before she pressed it gently against her cheek, not caring about how his blood was staining her cheek instead. As tears continued to fall from her eyes, Heero felt her tears roll down their joined hands.
"Why are you crying?" Heero asked suddenly.
"Because it must have been incredibly painful for you to be suffering on your own. Because you are so stubborn that you cannot see reason…" She trailed off as tears continued to roll down their joined hands.
Fate looked up at him instead, her eyes were filled with concern, sadness as well as love.
"And because you can't cry…" She whispered.
Heero's chest tightened and his heart felt heavy as he watched Fate continuing to cry in front of him. Heero watched her cry in silence and they remained in this position for a rather long time. Then Heero slowly reached out and pulled her into his arms instead. Fate immediately wrapped her arms around his neck as she buried her face in his chest. Heero's heart felt heavy as well, he felt like crying too. Yet no matter how hard he tried, nothing ever came out. Maybe he really didn't know how to cry anymore.
France, Marseilles, Hotel Suite
Fate had managed to compose herself and she bandaged Heero's injured hand. Heero didn't even look at her at all, he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Fate could only hope that she had managed to talk some sense into him. She had cleaned herself up as well. Heero lied down on the bed and closed his eyes as if trying to fall asleep. Fate climbed into bed beside him and hugged him from behind as if she knew that Heero still needed her comfort. No one said a single word, but both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Fate was surprised when Heero fell asleep sometime later. She wasn't sure if he was pretending to fall asleep, nevertheless they stayed in the same hugging position for a rather long time before Fate too fell asleep next to Heero.
Fate was woken up by Heero who had changed into a new dress shirt. She looked at him sleepily and wondered what was going on. Later on she realized that it was already 7pm and Heero had already ordered dinner for them through the hotel's room service. The food has just arrived at their suite hence Heero was waking her up to have dinner. They ate dinner together though the silence felt rather heavy between them.
"Did you manage to get some sleep?" Fate asked him.
"No." Heero admitted.
Fate reached out and held his hand across the table.
"I'm still here for you." She said softly.
She knew that she was touching on a sensitive topic but she wanted Heero to know that she will always be here for him. Heero sets his cutlery down on the table before he looked at her.
"How did you feel when you found out about the cemetery?" Heero asked her suddenly.
Their eyes met and Fate sets her cutlery gently down on the table as well.
"I cried realizing that no one can possibly survive while carrying such a heavy burden with them. You must have been in a lot of pain doing all of these alone." Fate whispered.
"Why did Wufei bring you there?" Heero asked, as if he wanted to find out more about how Fate knew about the cemetery.
"He warned me to stay away from you and he wanted to show me that there is a lot more to you than what I see on the surface. That you have a very dark and ugly past." Fate whispered.
"When was that?" Heero asked.
"In AC 198, but I went back to the cemetery sometime in January this year. There were more graves than the last time I was there." Fate told him softly.
Heero didn't say a single word. Fate forced herself to pick up her cutlery and to continue eating her dinner. She wondered if Heero was really going to kill Wufei when they get back to VLA.
"I didn't want you to know about that either." Heero told her softly.
"Heero, I chose to continue loving you then. What makes you think it will be any different now?" Fate asked instead.
The look Heero sent her caught her by surprise, but she slowly broke into a smile.
"Sometimes I don't understand why you choose to keep things from me, but I guess it is funny watching you freak out at times." Fate joked.
He shot her a murderous glare instead causing Fate to laugh. She wasn't afraid of him, hence the glare didn't have any effect on her.
"Hey Heero, sometimes I wonder how many secrets are you hiding deep inside your heart? Why are you always trying so hard to hide how you feel?" Fate asked him softly.
Heero didn't respond to her question at all.
"Isn't it tiring to wear an emotionless mask all the time? Why can't you take it off when it's just the two of us? That way I will get to know the real you and I know that you already know the real me." Fate told him.
Something flickered in his eyes but it was gone in a split second as if he hadn't felt anything at all.
"It's too much to ask for." Heero told her softly.
Fate smiled instead.
"That's alright, I have faith in you. Besides I'm not going anywhere else, I can wait for you. No matter how long it takes." She told him with a smile on her face.
Her words and the genuine smile on her face touched him, but Heero didn't know what he should do. He clenched his hand into a tight fist before he stood up abruptly, taking Fate by surprise. He approached her and before Fate could speak, he captured her lips with his. Heero could sense Fate smiling but she didn't take long to kiss him back in return. As Heero deepened the kiss and Fate kissed him back as eagerly, dinner was the last thing on their minds. Heero may be a man of few words but Fate could feel Heero's answer in his kiss.
2 hours later, 9pm
France, Marseilles, Airport
On board Heero's private jet
After dinner, both Heero and Fate packed their luggage bags and got ready to leave. Heero checked out of the hotel first while the man dressed in the black suit came to pick Fate up. Hence they left the hotel separately, with Fate leaving for the airport first. While Heero drove his sports car to the airport. Naturally Heero arrived first and was making the necessary arrangements when the hired car Fate was in arrived at the airport. Fate thanked the man who acted as their driver and bodyguard.
They passed through the VIP immigration before boarding Heero's private jet. As Heero was making the final checks of the plane's system, security, engines and cargo, Fate was looking out of the plane's window.
"All systems are green." The security system told Heero.
Heero then instructed the pilot that it is time to take off. He sat down on the seat next to Fate in the small sitting area. He put on the safety belt and looked at Fate who merely smiled at him in return. The plane's doors were closed and soon the plane was moving towards the runway. It didn't take long for the plane to run down the long runway before taking off towards the skies. As the plane continued flying higher and higher towards Earth's atmosphere, Heero immediately reached over to take Fate's hand. The flight was a rather rocky one as the plane flew higher and higher into outer space. Heero didn't say a single word at all as the plane continued climbing towards outer space. He sensed that Fate was feeling nervous as she was squeezing his hand really tightly. He was reminded of the first time he had accompanied Fate to Colony L1, VLA, as she had never travelled out of Earth before that day. She was really nervous back then and couldn't stop squeezing his hand. It appears that Fate still hasn't gotten used to travelling between Earth and the Colonies even after so many years. Heero was relieved that he managed to witness a moment of Fate's weakness after she had witnessed a lot of his weaker moments.
Finally the plane had left Earth's atmosphere and was now in outer space. The plane changed its direction and steadied itself before flying towards Colony L1, VLA. As there was zero gravity in space, Heero and Fate were floating a little above their seats. After it was safe to move about the plane, Heero unbuckled his seat belt before moving swiftly through the plane to dock in his tablet. He then turned on the artificial gravity setting throughout the entire plane. Fate seemed relieved that they were safely in outer space and unbuckled her seat belt. As Heero checked the plane's systems and engines, Fate was going to her room.
"I am turning in for the night." Fate told Heero softly.
Heero nodded while Fate moved towards him. She kissed him on his cheek as if greeting him goodnight. He was reminded of their kiss in the hotel room a few hours ago. Heero stopped what he was doing and watched as Fate smiled at him before walking away. After checking that all systems and engines were still doing well, Heero went into the first room to check up on his work.
Meanwhile Fate took a bath and changed into a night gown. She slipped on her jacket and zipped it close to the collar before she went to find Heero. She knocked on the door before going in and Heero was closing his screen projections.
"Fate?" Heero asked as she approached him.
Heero was currently seated behind the desk, but he turned his chair to face her. Fate reached out and caressed his cheek with her right hand softly.
"I was thinking that maybe I should sleep here with you tonight." She whispered.
He stared at her in silence, with his face as expressionless as ever but Fate could see the glimpse of surprise in his eyes. Heero merely lowered her hand from his face before clearing his throat rather loudly.
"I do not think that would be a good idea." He told her softly.
Fate realized that Heero must have misunderstood the nature of her suggestion. She blushed at the thought of it instead.
"I didn't mean it that way. I just feel that maybe you will be able to sleep with someone holding you." She told him.
He continued to stare at her as there was a second meaning behind her words too. The blush on Fate's face deepened as she realized this.
"I mean… maybe… oh I was just…" She trailed off, looking embarrassed.
Heero watched as Fate looked down slightly.
"I just want to be here for you, I want to comfort you even as you continue to feel hurt inside." Fate told him.
Heero knew that she was concerned about him and wants to help him through this tough period of time.
"Thank you Fate, but it is not…"
He didn't get to finish his sentence as Fate silenced the rest of his words with a kiss. They stared into each other's eyes after they broke apart from their short kiss. She pressed a finger against his lips before he could even speak.
"You need some rest, please don't argue on that with me." She whispered.
Heero didn't say a single word as Fate moved away from him slightly. She held onto his hand and Heero allowed himself to be dragged to the large bed.
"Do you need to change into more comfortable clothing?" Fate asked as she sat down on the side of the bed.
Heero sighed before moving to take off his suit jacket.
"I will get ready for bed." Heero told her softly, admitting defeat.
Fate smiled while Heero went into the bathroom. He changed into a comfortable white t-shirt and a pair of white shorts. After that he washed his face and brushed his teeth before going to find Fate. Fate had already turned off most of the lights in the room, leaving only the lamp on the side table still lighted. Fate was already lying down in bed and bad thoughts were running through Heero's mind as he walked closer towards the bed. Maybe it's not too late to run away.
"Heero?" Fate asked softly.
Knowing that it was too late to back off now, he locked the door before he went to the other side of the bed and slipped into bed next to Fate. He saw Meteor which was in sleeping mode, resting on the side table next to the bed. He turned off the lamp before staring up at the ceiling. He didn't feel like sleeping and having Fate next to him was making his senses on high alert instead.
He was surprised when Fate moved over and hugged him, resting her head on his chest. He didn't push her away though he knew that he could do that. Both of them stayed in this position as they continued to stare into darkness with opened eyes. He felt the warmth of Fate's body and he could smell her familiar scent. But he still feels that she was too close to him.
"Am I hurting you?" Fate asked softly.
"No." He told her.
Fate smiled to herself as Heero couldn't possibly see her face in the darkness. She listened to the sound of his heart beating in his chest. She felt his chest rise and fall as he breathed evenly.
"It has been a tough day for you." Fate whispered.
Heero said nothing as he stared up at the ceiling. Fate was silent as she continued hugging Heero. She was reminded of the time she had comforted Heero as he had broken up with Relena. She hadn't said a single word to him then as she comforted him, similarly she was at a loss as to what she should say.
"Hey Heero?" She asked softly.
She didn't get any response from him hence she wondered if he was already asleep.
"Can I come to France with you every year from now onwards?" She asked him.
There was no response from Heero and Fate frowned instead. She shifted a little and rose up to check on him. His eyes were closed and Fate wondered if he had fallen asleep. Smiling to herself, she snuggled closer towards him and closed her eyes as well. She prayed that Heero will be able to have a good night's sleep for once and hoped that he would have good dreams tonight.
It was really comfortable to be so close to him, feeling his body warmth against her own body. It was a great feeling to know that someone she loves is sleeping right next to her, knowing that Heero will be there to hold her whenever she needs him. Even though their relationship have started out with more downs than ups, even if they do fight with each other rather often, Fate cannot deny that she is really glad that they are finally together. She is also relieved that she is the one Heero had chosen. Most importantly of all, she's glad that they love each other very much. Fate fell asleep with a smile on her face, knowing that Heero will still be here when she wakes up the next morning.
The next day, 20th May
9 hours later, 7am, Morning
Outer Space, Onboard Heero's private jet
Heero woke up and was surprised that he actually slept for once. He hadn't slept well at all for the past five months and he seemed to have forgotten what it was like to sleep. Every time he would merely close his eyes and get some rest, but he never did fall asleep. There were times he did, but he would be rudely awakened by a nightmare that he was having thirty minutes after that. He hated these nightmares, it didn't help matters that he was having the exact same nightmare for five months now. Hence he gave up sleeping since he won't be able to go back to sleep after that nightmare. Sure he was tired and wondered how was he able to get through so many days without collapsing from lack of sleep. Maybe because his body was already used to it during the crazy training he was forced to go through to become the perfect soldier.
He was surprised that he didn't have the same nightmare again, that he slept through the entire night without being rudely awakened. He turned to his left and realized that he was hugging Fate close to him. Fate was still fast asleep but she was hugging him tightly as well. It felt a little odd to wake up next to someone after so many years. Nevertheless he was grateful for her presence here. He was certain that he wouldn't be able to have such a good night's sleep without her here. Heero gently freed himself from Fate's hold, stopping every now and then to make sure that he wouldn't wake her up. After he was free, he got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He saw the electronic clock on the desk and knew that they would be reaching VLA in two hours' time.
As Fate was still sleeping soundly, Heero washed up, brushed his teeth and took a bath. He changed into a set of formal clothing before coming out to check on Fate. Fate was now sleeping on the right side of the bed, where Heero had slept in before he left the bed. He approached the right side of the bed and gently reached out to caress her face. She looked so beautiful in her sleep as well, with her long golden blonde hair stretched out beneath her. He leaned in to claim her lips in a slow kiss.
"Thank you." He told her softly before he moved away to sit down behind the desk.
Heero was busy going through his work when he sensed movement coming from the bed. Fate was shifting around a little and it didn't take her long before she slowly opened her eyes. He watched her in silence as she stared up at the ceiling before reaching around her as if looking for him. She frowned a little as if she couldn't find him and slowly sat up on bed.
Fate was surprised to find herself on the right side of the bed, but Heero wasn't anywhere to be seen. She was a little disappointed to find him gone again, for this was the second time it happened.
"Morning Fate." Meteor told her as it jumped over towards her.
Fate merely forced a smile and continued to stare at the empty bedside in silence. She was surprised when she felt a weight beside her. She turned to see Heero sitting down on the side of the bed next to her.
"Morning." Heero greeted her.
Fate immediately smiled up at him before she flung her arms around his neck to kiss him fully on the lips. She hadn't expected Heero to wake up earlier than she did and he was already fully dressed. Heero kissed her back just as eagerly as she did, after they broke apart she continued smiling at him.
"Morning Heero." She greeted him in return.
Heero gave her a small smile and their eyes met for a rather long moment before he stood up again.
"You better wash up, we should be landing soon." He told her.
Fate watched as Heero made his way back towards the desk.
"Did you sleep well last night?" Fate asked him.
"Surprisingly so." Heero admitted as he sat down behind the desk.
Fate was surprised to hear that but her eyes softened and she gave him a soft look, the very look that he missed. Then Fate got out of bed and put on her jacket. She excused herself and left for the other room where her luggage bag was. Heero sat there in silence as he thought about his plans for next year and about what Fate had said to him.
Sometime later,
Fate joined Heero in the board room dressed in a red chiffon cocktail dress. They ate breakfast before moving to a seat in the small sitting room. As Heero continued checking on his work, Fate was checking her e-mails as well as messages using Meteor. The pilot then informed them that they will be reaching VLA soon. As they prepared for landing in VLA, Heero noticed how Fate was glancing at him. He raised an eyebrow at her as if in question.
"Are you feeling slightly better than before?" Fate asked him softly.
Heero nodded while Fate held onto his hand and gave him a sad smile. Their hands remained joined for the rest of the plane ride even though no one said a single word. Her grip around his hand naturally tightened when the plane was landing on the runway, but she seemed relieved once they had landed safely. Heero ran a check on the plane's engines and systems to make sure that everything was going well. After the plane finally came to a stop, they unbuckled their seat belts and prepared to get off the plane. They have landed at the VIP airport and the security level was surprisingly tight today.
Fate and Heero thanked the staff onboard the plane before they got off the plane. Fate was surprised to see that Federick was already there with a group of Preventers while Rolland was here to pick Heero up. Fate turned to look at Heero who was behind her.
"You arranged for this?" Fate asked softly.
"Yes." Heero admitted.
Fate continued down the staircase and knew that her time with Heero had come to an end. Though she didn't want it to end, she knew that Heero was needed somewhere else. Heero held onto her wrist and turned her to look back at him.
"This is where we will part ways, Fate. I shall see you soon." He told her softly.
Fate nodded giving him a weak smile. Heero saw that Federick was approaching them and knew that it was time to say goodbye.
"Goodbye Fate." Heero told her.
Fate continued to give him a weak smile as Heero walked past her with his own luggage bag in tow towards where Rolland was standing. Heero walked past Federick and both men stared at each other in silence as they passed each other by. Fate watched as Heero was greeted by Rolland while Federick greeted her. She also noticed the look on her brother's face and knew that she was going to receive a scolding from him.
"You have a lot of explaining to do my dear sister." Federick said stiffly.
Fate knew that Heero couldn't help her at all as he was already getting into his limo.
"Shall we get going?" Federick asked her.
"Yes." Fate whispered as she watched Heero's limo drove off towards the main gates.
Colony L1, VLA, Moonstone Mansion,
Fate didn't know if she should be glad that Federick did not say a single word throughout the limo ride to her mansion. Nevertheless she could feel Federick's fury and anger radiating off him, the silence was tensed but he chose not to speak. Fate smiled tightly at Killian who greeted her and welcomed her back. She was walking towards the stairs when Federick chased after her.
"We need to talk." Federick stressed.
"My room." Fate whispered.
And so they went to Fate's room. Fate sat down on the side of her bed as Federick slammed the door close after him.
"Do you realized what you have done? You asked my colleagues to help you in a scheme that included tricking and deceiving me. You risked exposing yourself further to the paparazzi and you provided them with more dirt to write about you! You even went on a trip overseas with your boyfriend alone despite knowing how badly the media is covering on the two of you right now! Can't you spare a thought for our family and for Heero's family as well?" Federick shouted.
Fate didn't say a single word but was trying to control her temper as well.
"I am even surprised that they let you board his private jet!" Federick pointed out.
"Are you finished?" Fate asked in a strained voice.
"No, I am not done yet! You cannot deny that the two of you didn't do anything on this trip together. Your purity and innocence is in question here. How will people see you if they find out about this?" Federick asked.
"I am not a sixteen year old teenager anymore, Federick. What I wish to do in my private life is none of your concern." Fate said in a very strained voice as if she was trying to stop herself from flaring up.
"None of my concern? How can it not be my concern when your face is on every media channels everywhere?" Federick asked.
"Heero is my boyfriend! I don't judge you for what you do in your private life, what makes you have the right to judge mine?" Fate asked.
"Because I am your elder brother! You could jolly well elope with him and never come back!" Federick shouted.
Fate gasped in shock.
"How could you say that? We were not eloping!" Fate exclaimed.
"Well it certainly looked like it, the last minute arrangement, the deceptions, escaping from your security details, the luggage bag?" Federick asked.
"We were not eloping. I was merely trying to help him!" Fate declared.
"Help him? You had to fly with him to help him?" Federick asked.
"It's something you will never understand!" Fate exclaimed.
"Oh really? Try me." Federick challenged.
Fate's hands were all clenched tightly into fists at her sides. Fate continued to suppress her feelings as she tried not to snap at him.
"I can't tell you." Fate admitted softly.
"Exactly, I knew that you would say that. Father knows about this and he is not very happy about it while mother is worried about you. You and Heero have a lot of explaining work to do. If that man cared about you at all, he will show up and try to save your neck. I wouldn't want to escalate this or our parents will show up at our doorsteps!" Federick exclaimed.
Fate didn't say a single word while Federick merely turned to walk towards the door.
"Reflect well on your actions, Fate." Federick told her.
Fate only broke down in tears after Federick had left her room and was some distance away. She immediately picked up her mobile phone and searched for Heero's contact number. However she hesitated before she pressed the call button, should she call him? But this is an emergency and she didn't know how to go through this alone. She finally picked up the courage to call Heero.
"Hello Heero?" She asked as she heard the call being picked up.
"The user that you had called is not available, please leave a message after the tone." The standard voicemail system informed her.
Fate hung up and stared at her phone in dejection, what was she going to do now?
To be continued…
Author's Note: This was a fairly hard chapter to write. I wanted Fate to comfort Heero, and I want us to understand more about the guilt, pain and burden that Heero carries on his own. I also want us to find out why Heero is doing all of this. My impression of Heero was that there will always be a darkness to him, a darkness that runs deeper than the smart, perfect soldier he is on the surface. This chapter has allowed us to find out more about this darkness inside of him. Heero is also a kind person by nature, but he was trained to be a perfect soldier, forcing him to throw away all of his emotions to be a cold and emotionless man. This kindness in him also ruins him as he can't let go of the guilt of killing so many people. Hence it has tormented him, constantly eating at him inside. So badly that he still can't forgive himself of his actions and has been doing so much in hopes of repaying what he has done. But the truth is, who can be the one to judge when enough is enough? Who can tell him that he has done enough to repay for all the killing he did in the past?
Heero does indeed have a lot of secrets that he's hiding from the people who are closest to him. And I have revealed a few secrets in this chapter as well. Fate is being a really good support for Heero and she is doing her best to comfort him and make him feel better. I had a hard time trying to come up with a convincing argument to Heero's reasoning, but this is the best argument I can come up with. As for how Heero will react to all of this, only time will tell if he will truly be able to let go of the guilt and be able to forgive himself for what he has done. This chapter has also allowed the two of them to grow closer as they deal with a tough situation together. However more things are definitely coming up, so do stay tuned for the next chapter!
Thank you for continuing to support this story, Family. Please do read and review, but NO FLAMERS!